When I Lie With You by Sandi Lynn
Chapter 26
Ian & Rory
Oh God, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I looked at Ian’s mom and dad and shook my head.
“He didn’t mean it. He needs time. We all need time to process everything. The two of you better leave now and I’ll go talk to Ian.”
His mother, Veronica, looked at me and smiled. “You two make a beautiful couple,” she said as she put her hand on my face. I couldn’t say anything to her, so all I did was give a small smile back.
“Please, Rory, if anyone can get through to him, it’s you,” Richard said and he took hold of my hand.
“I’ll try. That’s all I can do for now.” I walked them out and then headed upstairs. I put my hand on the doorknob and took in a deep breath. I was nervous because I didn’t know how Ian was going to react. I slowly opened the door and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed with the bottle of bourbon in his hand. He looked up at me with cold, dead eyes. I walked over and knelt down in front of him as I placed my hands on his knees.
“I’m so sorry. I know how you feel, baby. I know every emotion you’re going through.”
“Rory, I love you so much, and I need you to understand that I need to be alone. I don’t want you to talk to me. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I just want to be left alone.”
His words hurt me. I needed him more than anything when I was going through this. I still needed him. Everybody deals with things in their own way and maybe this was his way, alone. I reached up and kissed his cheek.
“I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry.” I stood up, walked out, and shut the door behind me. I went down to the kitchen where I left my phone on the counter. I called Adalynn. I didn’t know what else to do.
“Hello, darling,” she answered.
“Hi, Adalynn.”
I told her what had happened and she was astounded. She wanted to come over, but I told her it wasn’t a good idea right now. She told me that Ian had his own way of dealing with things and not to take it personally. It was easier said than done because when you love someone, you want them there to comfort you. I never would have been able to get through these past couple of months without him. After I cleaned everything up from the patio, I laid down on the couch and fell asleep.
Ian
I woke up. I didn’t remember falling asleep. When I looked over at the clock, it read two a.m. and Rory wasn’t in bed. She had never come to bed. Why the fuck did I tell her to leave me alone? Why didn’t I just let her stay? I rubbed my face with my hands before getting out of bed, and I changed into some pajama bottoms before I went looking for her. I opened the door that used to be her room when she first came here, but she wasn’t in there. I walked downstairs and went directly outside and down to the beach. She wasn’t there either. Worry and fear crept inside me that she had left. I walked back inside the house and into the living room, where I saw her curled up, asleep on the couch. I reached down, picked her up, and carried her to our bed. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my chest.
“I’m so sorry for shutting you out, sweetheart,” I whispered as I kissed her head.
I laid her on the bed and she took off her shirt, bra, and pants. She climbed under the sheets, and as I climbed in next to her, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. It was easy falling asleep when I was with Rory, no matter what was going on in my life.
The next morning, Rory and I got up and got ready for our run. If there was ever a day I needed one, today was the day. Rory and I always had good talks when we ran. She didn’t say much when we woke up. I thought she was still a little pissed off about last night. I’d be spending eternity making up for it. As we headed out the door and down to the beach, she finally spoke.
“Talk to me, Ian. Tell me what you’re feeling.”
I silently laughed to myself because she was throwing my words right back at me. We ran along the shoreline.
“I’m feeling really pissed off. I can’t even comprehend what my father did. I’ll never forgive him.”
“Yes, you will.”
“No, Rory. I won’t.”
“You will because life’s too short. I need to forgive my father for what he did and you need to forgive both your parents. If I learned anything from Stephen’s death, it’s that you never know what’s going to happen.”
I looked over at her. “This is different.”
“No, it’s not. Life sucks, baby, and sometimes you have to bite the bullet and go with what it throws at you.”
“My whole life was a lie,” I said.
“My whole life was a lie too. Don’t forget that. You and I are in very similar boats and we’re struggling to paddle to the shore before we tip over and drown. But see, Ian, we don’t have to struggle, and we don’t have to drown. We have each other and we are each other’s life preservers. We keep each other afloat.”
I stopped and she ran a few feet ahead. Where the hell was all of this coming from? I always knew Rory was an intelligent woman, but this...
“Why did you stop?” she asked as she turned around and ran back to me.
“Because of you. The things you’re saying.”
“I’m only speaking the truth.”
“When did you figure all this out?” I asked.
“It took a while, but eventually, I got it. It helps to talk to Stephen when I visit his grave. Every time I step foot in that cemetery, I think to myself that this could be either one of us lying in the ground.”
“Aw, sweetheart, come here,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. “Everything you’re saying is true. Every fucking word of it. But, I don’t know if I can do it,” I said as I kissed her head.
“You can and you will. New beginnings, Ian. It’s all about forgiveness and new beginnings. I’ve decided that I want a relationship with my father. At least you had your mom and knew her for a few years before you never saw her again. I never knew my father at all. Your mom tried to see you. She made attempts and even disguised herself. Don’t just disregard that. And, as for Richard, what he did was pure evil, but he regrets it and he’s dying. You may not have much time left with him, Ian. Don’t let him die and then you never got the chance to tell him you forgave him, because you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.”
I put my forehead against hers and cupped her face in my hands. “I love you,” I said as I brushed my lips against hers.
“I love you more.” She smiled.
We continued our run and talked some more. Rory was right about everything and it was going to take time, and once I pushed the anger aside, the healing process would begin.
Rory
We were in the kitchen and I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. I sat down in the chair because I was feeling light-headed. I laid my head down on the table for a second, waiting for it to pass.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Ian asked.
“I’m just a little dizzy. No big deal.”
“Well, drink your water. You may be a little dehydrated.”
Charles had just taken the blueberry muffins out of the oven and the smell was overwhelming. Overwhelming to the point where I felt like I was going to be sick. Ian took one and started eating it. As I sat there and watched him, the sick feeling became more intense as I covered my mouth with my hand and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t even have time to shut the door. Ian came in and looked at me.
“Rory, are you sick?” He asked as he rubbed my back.
“I guess so,” I said as I continued to vomit in the toilet.
Ian stood there and waited for me to finish. He handed me a tissue and then kissed my forehead. “Why don’t you go upstairs and lie down?”
“I feel better now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m just going to finish my water.”
Ian went to his study to do some work and I sat down at the piano. I thought a lot about our talk and
“The question is, are you UP for it?” I smiled.
He gave me that playful look and I knew I was in trouble. I quickly ran up the stairs and into the bedroom, where he tackled me on the bed and he showed me how up for it he was.
Chapter 27
Rory
Adalynn’s wedding was in a couple of days and I was so excited I could barely stand it. I hadn’t been feeling well lately and I tried to hide it as much as I could from Ian because he worried so much about me, especially since Stephen’s death. I hadn’t been running the past few days because I’d been so tired. With everything that had happened over the past couple of months, I thought exhaustion was finally starting to settle in. Not to mention the fact that Ian and I made love about three times a day. That man was enough to wear anyone out. And he accused me of trying to kill him.
“Are you running with me today?” he asked.
“Yes, babe, I am. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
I felt sick again like I did every morning and I went into the bathroom and threw up. I thought the excitement of Adalynn and Daniel’s wedding might have caused some of the queasiness I was feeling lately. I had to go for one last fitting on my dress. After my run, I was meeting Adalynn at the bridal shop and then we were going to lunch. I put on my running clothes and headed downstairs. Ian was down at the beach, waiting for me.
“It’s about time,” he said.
“Sorry, I couldn’t find my shoes,” I lied.
We ran and talked about the wedding. “Wait until you see how beautiful Adalynn looks in her wedding dress.”
“I can hardly wait,” Ian replied sarcastically.
I bumped his shoulder and he almost fell over. “Oops, sorry!” I laughed.
“Now you’re in trouble,” he said as he tried to grab me, but I ran way ahead of him. He was faster than I was and he caught up to me in no time. He grabbed me, picked me up, and swung me around before we went down on the sand. He hovered over me as he tried to catch his breath.
“See what happens when you push me?” He smiled.
“I like what happens when I push you. I think I might do it more often.” I smiled back.
He stared into my eyes as he pushed some stray hairs out of my face. “I love you, Rory Sinclair.”
“I love you more, Ian Braxton.”
“Not possible.” He smiled as he lowered his lips onto mine.
“We need to head back. I have to shower and meet Adalynn.”
“Ah, that’s right. You’re going to pick your dress up today.”
He got off of me and held out his hand to help me up. Instead of running back to the house, he put his arm around me and we walked back.
“I love spending my mornings like this. Just me and you, the beach, our runs. It’s perfect, Rory, and I don’t want it any other way.”
His words made me melt, but then again scared me. What did he mean by he “didn’t want it any other way”? I laid my head on his shoulder until we got back to the house. We showered together and then he left for the office. As soon as I was finished getting dressed, I drove to the bridal shop to meet Adalynn.
“Hello, darling,” she said as she gave me a hug and kiss.
“Hi.” I smiled.
The sales lady had my dress hanging in the fitting room. I stepped inside, put on the dress, and tried to zip it.
“Adalynn, can you help me?” I yelled from the dressing room.
“Sure, sweetie. What’s wrong?”
“I can’t seem to zip this up all the way,” I said in a panic.
“Hold on, let me do it. These zippers are tricky. Rory, you’re going to have to suck it in. Have you put on some weight?”
“NO!” I said. “They sewed it wrong.”
Adalynn called in the sales lady and told her that the dress was too tight. She looked at the slip that was stapled to the garment bag and then measured me.
“It looks like you put on a few pounds,” she said.
I was horrified that she said that. “I most certainly did not and with all the vomiting I’ve been doing, I’ve barely been eating.”
“Wait, hold up, Rory. What do you mean with ‘all the vomiting’?”
“I think I’m really nervous about the wedding because I’ve been throwing up every morning.”
Adalynn and the sales lady looked at each other. “Is there a way to get this fixed before my wedding? I’ll pay triple to have someone work on it all night.”
“I can do it. Don’t worry. It will be done before your wedding.”
The sales lady left and I stood there speechless. “Rory, when was your last period?” Adalynn asked.
“Oh God, I don’t know. With everything going on the past couple of months, I haven’t been keeping track. Why?”
“Are you pregnant?”
“WHAT?!” I exclaimed. “No, I’m not pregnant.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I take my pill every day.”
“Were there times when you didn’t take your pill because you forgot with everything going on?”
“Well, yes. But I just doubled up the next morning or two,” I said as I bit down on my bottom lip. “OH MY GOD, Adalynn. Do you think I could be pregnant?” I started to cry.
“Don’t cry, please. Change out of your dress and we’ll talk about it over lunch.”
Adalynn left the room and, after I finished getting dressed, I stepped out of the dressing room and handed her my dress with tears in my eyes.
“Aw, darling. Don’t cry. You don’t even know for sure if you’re pregnant.”
She handed the dress to the sales lady, who promised to have it finished by tomorrow afternoon. As we walked down the street to the café for lunch, we passed a drug store.
“Let’s go in here and get you a pregnancy test,” Adalynn said as she led me inside.
“I don’t want to know.” I started to cry.
“Rory, you have to know. If you are, then you have to get to a doctor.”
I started bawling in the middle of the store. “What if I am? It’s going to destroy mine and Ian’s relationship.”
“Aw, sweetie, no, it won’t. Ian loves you. If anything, it will bring you closer.”
I shook my head. “No, no, you don’t understand. Ian doesn’t want children. He point blank told me that he wants nothing to do with them. He won’t even hold Connor and Ellery’s daughter, Julia, when we see her. This will destroy us.”
“Stop. Let’s not get worked up until we find out for sure. Come on; let’s pay for this and we’ll grab some carry out and take it back to my house.”
As we were at the register, paying for the pregnancy test, my phone rang. It was Ian.
“Hi, honey,” I answered, all cheery.
“Hi, sweetheart. How’s your day going?”
“It’s great. Adalynn and I are just about to grab some lunch.”
“Good. Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m feeling great,” I lied.
“Okay, I’m on my way to a meeting, sweetheart. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I hung up and looked at Adalynn and started crying again. She put her arm around me and asked me if I was okay to drive to her house. I nodded my head and we got into our cars and I followed her home. I was a nervous wreck. What if the test comes back positive? What was I going to do? Ian hated kids. I couldn’t live with someone who would hate his kids. Panic started to settle in again.
I took in a deep breath as I peed on the stick. Adalynn was in the bathroom with me and watched the window as I laid the stick on the counter. I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to hear it. I was already sick to my stomach as it was.
“Oh, Rory,” Adalynn said.
I knew by the sound of her voice that it was positive. I opened one eye and peeked. Yep, sure enough, there was the plus sign as plain as fucking day. I started to sob as I closed the lid on the toilet and sat down. Daniel knocked on the door and asked if everything was okay.
“Rory’s pregnant,” Adalynn yelled.
“OMG!” I cried even harder.
“Why is she crying?” Daniel asked as he opened the door.
“Because of Ian. She’s scared of him.”
“I am not scared of him. I’m scared of what this baby will do to our relationship.”
Daniel put his arm around me and helped me up. “Come on, Rory. Let’s go to the living room. I think Ian will be happy. It might take some time, but he’ll adjust.”
“No, he won’t. He doesn’t want kids.”
I finally calmed down and sat at the table while Adalynn and Daniel ate Chinese food. I couldn’t eat. Every time I thought about it, I got sick to my stomach. My phone beeped with a text message from Ian.
“Are you on your way home? I’m surprised you’re not home yet.”
“I’m on my way now. I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon. Be careful driving.”
I hugged Adalynn and Daniel goodbye. “When are you telling him?” Adalynn asked.
“Not until after the wedding. I’m not having your wedding ruined.”
“Don’t think like that, darling. He’ll be happy. He loves you.”
“Keep giving him that praise,” I said as I walked out the door.
How was I going to hide this from him for the next few days? I needed to call the doctor first thing tomorrow morning.
Chapter 28
Ian
Rory walked through the door and it looked like she’d been crying. I couldn’t imagine what had happened and, instantly, I grew worried.