I Am an Emotional Creature by Eve Ensler
I dance until all of us are sweaty and one
I dance on tables
On rooftops
In stairways
I dance when I want to scream
and claw and scratch and punch
I dance till I am wild, till I’m crazy
I dance till I’m brave and undone
I dance frenzy
I dance danger
I dance girl
I dance ’cause I cannot stop
I dance ’cause I feel that much
I dance ’cause I love you
I love you, I love you
Now, don’t just stand there
with your arms all crossed
My skin is a map
My belly’s on fire
Come with me
Dance with me
All of you
Higher
Higher
EPILOGUE:
MANIFESTA TO YOUNG WOMEN AND GIRLS
HERE’S WHAT YOU WILL BE TOLD:
Find a man
Seek protection
The world is scary
Don’t go out
You are weak
Don’t care so much
They’re only animals
Don’t be so intense
Don’t cry so much
You can’t trust anyone
Don’t talk to strangers
People will take advantage of you
Close your legs
Girls aren’t good with:
Numbers
Facts
Making difficult decisions
Lifting things
Putting things together
International news
Flying planes
Being in charge.
If he rapes you, surrender,
you will get killed trying to defend yourself
Don’t travel alone
You are nothing without a man
Don’t make the first move, wait for him to notice you
Don’t be too loud
Follow the crowd
Obey the laws
Don’t know too much
Tone it down
Find someone rich
It’s how you look that matters, not what you think.
HERE’S WHAT I’M TELLING YOU:
Everyone’s making everything up
There is no one in charge except for
those who pretend to be
No one is coming
No one is going to
Rescue you
Mind-read your needs
Know your body better than you
Always fight back
Ask for it
Say you want it
Cherish your solitude
Take trains by yourself to places
you have never been
Sleep out alone under the stars
Learn how to drive a stick shift
Go so far away that you stop being afraid of
not coming back
Say no when you don’t want to do something
Say yes if your instincts are strong
even if everyone around you disagrees
Decide whether you want to be liked or admired
Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out
what you’re doing here
Believe in kissing
Fight for tenderness
Care as much as you do
Cry as much as you want
Insist the world be theater
and love the drama
Take your time
Move as fast as you do
as long as it’s your speed.
Ask yourself these questions:
Why am I whispering when I have something to say?
Why am I adding a question mark at the end
of all my sentences?
Why am I apologizing every time I express my needs?
Why am I hunching over?
Starving myself when I love food?
Pretending it doesn’t mean that much to me?
Hurting myself when I mean to scream?
Why am I waiting
Whining
Pining
Fitting in?
You know the truth:
Sometimes it does hurt that much
Horses can feel love
Your mother wanted more than that
It’s easier to be mean than smart
But that isn’t who you are.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I want to thank the following people who have either read, edited, or nurtured Emotional Creature into being: Allison Prouty, Amy Squires, Beth Dozoretz, Brian McLendon, Cari Ross, Carol Gilligan, Cecile Lipworth, Christine Schuler Deschryver, Diana DeVegh, Donna Karan, Emily Scott Pottruck, Elizabeth Lesser, George Lane, Golzar Selbe, Ilene Chaiken, James Lecesne, Jane Fonda, Kate Fisher, Judy Corcoran, Kate Medina, Katherine McFate, Kerry Washington, Kim Guzowski, Laura Waleryszak, Linda Pope, Marie Cecile Renauld, Mark Matousek, Mellody Hobson, Meredith Kaffel, Molly Kawachi, Nancy Rose, Naomi Klein, Nicoletta Billi, Nikki Noto, Pat Mitchell, Paula Allen, Purva Panday, Rada Boric, Rosario Dawson, Salma Hayek, Shael Norris, Sheryl Sandberg, Susan Swan.
I thank Frankie Jones for her guidance and faith in this book and Jill Schwartzman for jumping in with such energy and care.
I thank Charlotte Sheedy for being in my corner for over thirty years, for her fierceness and love.
I thank Kim Rosen for long nights and listening again and again, and Tony Montenieri for his constancy and profound attention.
I thank my son, Dylan, for freeing my heart, and my mother, Chris, for bringing me here.
I would like to thank the brave and brilliant girls around the world who inspired this book.
I would also like to thank a group of brilliant women who so generously gave of themselves to shape the curriculum that will one day accompany this book.
V-GIRLS ADVISORY CIRCLE
Lyn Mikel Brown Jule Jo Ramirez
Marie Celestin Lillian Rivera
Carol Gilligan Sil Reynolds
Lynda Kennedy Deborah Tolman
Kelly Kinnish Niobe Way
Michele Ozumba Emily Wylie
Cydney Pullman
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTORS TO THE CURRICULUM
Yalitiza Garcia Lisa Beth Miller
Nicole Butterfield Jennifer Gandin Le
Maureen Ferris Christopher Gandin Le
GIRL FACT SOURCES
Your left lung: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, National Insitutes of Health, National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, “Diseases and Conditions Index: Lung Diseases: How the Lungs Work” (www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/hlw/hlw_all.html).
One in five U.S. high school girls: Girls Inc. press release, “The Super-girl Dilemma: Girls Grapple with the Mounting Pressure of Expectations,” October 12, 2006.
Despite years of evaluation: Douglas Kirby, Emerging Answers: Research Findings on Programs to Reduce Teen Pregnancy (Washington, D.C.: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2001); Peter S. Bearman and Hannah Brückner, “Promising the Future: Virginity Pledges and First Intercourse,” American Journal of Sociology, 106(4) (2001): 859–912; Hannah Brückner and Peter Bearman, “After the Promise: the STD Consequences of Adolescent Virginity Pledges,” Journal of Adolescent Health, 36(4) (2005): 271–278.
Six in ten American teens: Ellen Goodman, “The Truth About Teens and Sex.” The Boston Globe, January 3, 2009.
In Africa, about three million girls a year: Nahid Toubia, Caring for Women with Circumcision: A Technical Manual for Health Care Providers (New York: Research, Action and Information Network for the Bodily Integrity of Women [RAINBO], 1999).
Research has shown: Sumru Erkut and Allison J. Tracy, Sports as Protective of Girls’ High-Risk Sexual Behavior (Wellesley, Mass.: Wellesley Centers for Women, 2005).
When a group of children who were interviewed: Sandra Solovay, Tipping the Scales of Justice: Fighting Weight-Based Discrimination (Amh
The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa: South Carolina Department of Mental Health, “Eating Disorder Statistics” (www.state.sc.us/dmh/anorexia/statistics.htm).
About one in three: Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.acadv.org/dating.html).
Girls between thirteen and eighteen: Unicef, “Gender Equality: The Situation of Women and Girls: Facts and Figures” (www.unicef.org/gender/index_factsandfigures.html).
Barbie was based: Russ Kick, 50 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know, Volume 2 (New York: The Disinformation Company, 2004).
A new report says: Save the Children, Especially Vulnerable Children: Child Soldiers (www.voanews.com/english/archive/2005-04/2005-04-25-voa27.cfm).
An estimated one hundred million girls: International Labour Organization, International Programme on the Elimination of Child Labour, “World Day 2009: Give Girls a Chance: End Child Labour” (www.ilo.org/ipec/Campaignandadvocacy/WDACL/WorldDay2009/lang–en/index.htm).
More than 900 million girls and women: Plan’s “Because I Am a Girl” campaign, “The Facts” (www.plan-uk.org/becauseiamagirl/thefacts).
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
If you’ve been inspired by reading I Am an Emotional Creature, consider talking about the book with your friends or even starting a discussion group. The guide below is intended to help readers explore the book, and reflect and discuss the text as it pertains to themselves and their community. Want to learn more about discussion groups or connecting with others who loved the book? Check out www.v-girls.org.
YOU TELL ME HOW TO BE A GIRL IN 2010
What is it like to be a girl today?
What makes you angry? What inspires you?
How can you create change in the world?
Do you see a division between the “haves” and the “have nots” in the world? How does that make you feel? Do you see a solution?
Learn more about references in the monologue that you are unfamiliar with and share what you have learned with your group.
LET ME IN
Have you ever wanted to fit in, or felt excluded? Have you ever excluded others?
Why do we want to fit in or exclude others?
Why are we afraid to be different?
What would the world be like without bullies, cliques, or peer pressure?
What are some of the consequences of excluding others? Can you think of any examples in your school or community?
WHAT DON’T YOU LIKE BOUT BEING A GIRL?
Respond to the questions posed in the monologues. What don’t you like about being a girl?
Can girls “do things better”?
Can there be good things about being a “bad girl”? Can there be bad things about being a “good girl”? How can you focus more on what you like about yourself?
BAD BOYS
How is the character trying to deal with her emotions?
Do your parents have unrealistic expectations for who they want you to be?
Whom do you feel that you can turn to when you have a problem?
Why do you think the character chooses a boyfriend who is a “bad boy”?
Have you ever been tempted by a “bad boy”? How did you respond?
WHAT I WISH I COULD SAY TO MY MOTHER
Do you feel misunderstood by your parents, family members, or caretakers? How?
What questions would you like to ask your mother?
What would you like for your mother to know about you?
Why do you think relationships between mothers and daughters are challenging?
IT’S NOT A BABY, IT’S A MAYBE
How does facing the unknown bring up mixed emotions? How does facing the unknown conjure up our greatest fears?
If you were in this character’s situation, where would you turn for help?
What does the character mean when she says she was practicing abstinence but didn’t know how to apply it?
Do you think young people are properly educated about sex and unplanned pregnancy?
WHAT’S A GOOD GIRL?
How would you define a “good girl”?
Would you define yourself as one? Explain.
DON’T
Have you ever been told you could not do something or been treated differently because you are a girl?
How can education create opportunity for girls?
WOULD YOU RATHER
Do you ever have to make choices when you don’t like any of the options you have to choose from? What do you do in those situations?
Do you ever feel pressure from your friends to make choices you aren’t comfortable with?
How can you find peace within yourself when there seem to be more questions than answers?
STEPHANIED
Have you ever had a crush? A girl crush?
Does a girl crush have to be sexual?
What do you think about the character not identifying as gay or straight? What do you think society thinks?
MOVING TOWARD THE HOOP
What identities have you been “ducking or too defiantly embracing”?
How can sports empower girls?
Have you played sports? Have they impacted you?
What stereotypes are there about female athletes?
What would it mean to lose your identity? To change it?
SOPHIE ET APOLLINE, OR, WHY FRENCH GIRLS SMOKE
What are the qualities of a good friend?
How are your friendships important to you?
Do you think girls your age are in a rush to grow up? Do you ever feel conflicted about growing up?
In this monologue, the girls smoke sometimes when they feel stressed out. How do you deal with stress?
THINGS I HEARD ABOUT SEX
Where do you think young people get most of their information about sex?
Whom can you go to with your questions about sex?
Why do you think it is important for girls to be informed about sex?
I DANCE
How does dancing make you feel?
Do you dance? Why or why not? If you do, whom do you dance for?
What are the different ways you express yourself when you are happy, sad, or mad?
How can you learn about yourself and others through dance?
I BUILD IT WITH STONE
What does “sacred” mean?
What is sacred to you? What are you devoted to?
How do you express devotion?
Does devotion have to be religious? Why or why not?
Why do you think people have devotional practices?
HUNGER BLOG
What does “beautiful is a country with gates around it” mean? Do you ever feel that way?
What do you like to eat? Do you ever feel anxious about eating?
What advice would you give to a girl struggling with an eating disorder?
Why do you think so many girls don’t like what they see in the mirror?
THE JOKE ABOUT MY NOSE
What part of your body do you think people notice the most?
Do you think “funny people enjoy everything”?
Why do you think the character needs or wants to make a joke about her nose?
What do you think about young women having plastic surgery?
Do you feel pressured to look different than you do now? Where does this pressure come from?
DEAR RIHANNA
What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
Why do you think it is difficult for people who are abused by their partners to leave or end the relationship?
Do you think it is possible for a person who has abused his or her partner to change?
Have you ever wanted to “push boy delete”? Is this possible or beneficial?
What role do celebrities have in your life? How are you affected by them?
How do we both envy and destroy celebrities?
I HAVE 35 MINUTES BEFORE HE COMES LOOKING FOR ME
What is the role of power and
How can power and fear lead to violence?
How does the character in this monologue show bravery?
How do you think you would respond if you were in her situation?
FREE BARBIE
Have you ever played with a Barbie? Has she influenced your life?
What message does Chang Ying want to share?
What do you think about Chang Ying’s comparison between Barbie’s dream house and her “nightmare house”?
What do you think “free” Barbie would say or do? Would she look different?
Does this monologue make you think differently about Barbie?
SKY SKY SKY
How are the characters in the monologue similar and different? How are they connected?
How do the characters challenge what is expected of them?
What consequences might there be for standing up for what you believe in? Would this change your actions?
What do you already know about the conflict between Israel and Palestine? What do you want to know more about?
THE WALL
When have you felt “walled in” or “walled out” in your own life? What, or who, caused you to feel this way? How did you cope with this feeling?
What does it feel like to take a stand for something you believe in, even when it is not the popular choice?
What do you imagine it might feel like to be a young person living in a conflict zone?
A TEENAGE GIRL’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING SEX SLAVERY
How do you think the rules the character shares apply “to any girl anywhere in the world”?
Where does the character find hope within her desperate situation? Does she ever lose hope?
What does the character mean when she says, “No one can take anything from you if you do not give it to them”?
How is the character a survivor? How are you a survivor?
REFUSER
What does it mean to be a “refuser”?
Who are the refusers who inspire you?