Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century by Georgiana Fullerton
Butthat I was to remember many Protestants were burnt in the late queen'stime, and that if Papists were not kept under by strict laws, the likemight happen again."
[Footnote 2: State Papers.]
"You should have told him," I cried, who had been silent longer than Iliked, "that Protestants are burnt also in this reign, by the sametoken that some Anabaptists did so suffer a short time back, to yourMr. Fox's no small disgust, who should will none but Catholics to beput to death."
"Content thee, good Constance," my lady answered; "I be not sofurnished with arguments as thou in a like case wouldst be. So I onlysaid, I would to God none were burnt, or hanged, or tortured any morein this country, or in the world at all, for religion; and my lord ofGloucester declared he was of the same mind, and would have none sodealt with, if he could mend it, here or abroad. Then the queen risingto go, our discourse came to an end; but this good bishop says he willvisit me when he next doth come to London, and make that matter plainto me how I can remain Catholic, and obey the queen, and content hisgrace."
"Then he will show you," I cried, "how to serve God and the world,which the gospel saith is a thing not to be thought of, and full ofperil to the soul."
My Lady Surrey burst into tears, and I was angered with myself that Ihad spoken peradventure over sharply to her who had too much troublealready; but it did make me mad to see her so beset that the faithwhich had been once so rooted in her, and should be her sure and onlystay in the dangerous path she had entered on, should be in such wiseshaken as her words did indicate. But she was not angered, thesweet soul; and drawing me to herself, laid her head on my bosom, andsaid:
"Thou art a true friend, though a bold one; and I pray God I may neverlack the benefit of such friendship as thine, for he knoweth I havegreat need thereof."
And so we parted with many tender embraces, and our hearts morestrictly linked together than heretofore.
CHAPTER X.
In the month of November of the same year in which the queen did visitLord and Lady Surrey at the Charter House, a person, who mentioned nothis name, delivered into the porter's hands at our gate a letter forme, which I found to be from my good father, and which I do heretranscribe, as a memorial of his great piety toward God, and tenderlove for me his unworthy child.
"MY DEARLY BELOVED DAUGHTER (so he),--Your comfortable letter has not a little cheered me; and the more so that this present one is like to be the last I shall be able to write on this side of the sea, if it so happen that it shall please God to prosper my intent, which is to pass over into Flanders at the first convenient opportunity: for the stress of the times, and mine own earnest desire to live within the compass of a religious life, have moved me to forsake for a while this realm, and betake myself to a place which shall afford opportunity and a sufficiency of leisure for the prosecution of my design. The comfortable report Edmund made of thy health, increased height, and good condition, as also of thy exceeding pleasant and affectionate behavior to him, as deputed from thy poor father to convey to thee his paternal blessing, together with such tokens as a third person may exhibit of that most natural and tender affection which he bears to thee, his sole child, whom next to God he doth most entirely value and love,--of which charge this good youth assured me he did acquit himself as my true son in Christ, which indeed he now is,--and my good brother's letter and thine, which both do give proof of the exceeding great favor shown toward thee in his house, wherein he doth reckon my Constance not so much a niece (for such be his words) as a most cherished daughter, whose good qualities and lively parts have so endeared her to his family, that the greatest sorrow which could befal them should be to lose her company; which I do not here recite for to awaken in thee motions of pride or a vain conceit of thine own deserts, but rather gratitude to those whose goodness is so great as to overlook thy defects and magnify thy merits;--Edmund's report, I say, coupled with these letters, have yielded me all the contentment I desire at this time, when I am about to embark on a perilous voyage, of which none can foresee the course or the end; one in which I take the cross of Christ as my only staff; his words, "Follow me," for my motto; and his promise to all such as do confess him before men, as the assured anchor of my hope.
"Our ingenuous youth informed thee (albeit I doubt not in such wise as to conceal, if it had been possible, his own ability, which, with his devotedness, do exceed praise) how he acquitted both me and others of much trouble and imminent danger by his fortunate despatch with that close prisoner. I had determined to place him with some of my acquaintance, lest perhaps he should return, not without some danger of his soul, to his own friends; but when he understood my resolution, he cried out with like words to those of St. Lawrence, 'Whither goeth my master without his servant? Whither goeth my father without his son?' and with tears distilling from his eyes, he humbly entreated he might go together with me, saying, as it were with St. Peter, 'Master, I am ready to go with you to prison, yea to death;' but, forecasting his future ability, as also to try his spirit a little further, I made him answer it was impossible; to which our Edmund replied, 'Alas! and is it impossible? Shall my native soil restrain free will? or home-made laws alter devout resolutions? Am I not young? Can I not study? May I not in time get what you now have got--learning for a scholar? yea, virtue for a priest, perhaps; and so at length obtain that for which you now are ready? Direct me the way, I beseech you; and let me, if you please, be your precursor. Tell me what I shall do, or whither I must go; and for the rest, God, who knows my desire, will provide and supply the want. Can it be possible that he who clothes the lilies of the field, and feeds the fowls of the air, will forsake him who forsakes all to fulfil his divine precept, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all other things shall be given to you?"' Finally, he ended, to my no small admiration, by reciting the words of our Saviour, 'Whosoever shall forsake home, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, for my sake and the gospel's, shall receive a hundredfold and possess life everlasting.'
"By these impulses, often repeated with great fervor of spirit, I perceived God Almighty's calling in him, and therefore at last condescended to let him take his adventures, procuring him commendations to such friends beyond seas as should assist him in his purpose, and furnishing him with money sufficient for such a journey; not judging it to be prudent to keep him with me, who have not ability to warrant mine own passage; and so noted a recusant, that I run a greater risk to be arrested in any port where I embark. And so, in all love and affection, we did part; and I have since had intelligence, for the which I do return most humble and hearty thanks to God, that he hath safely crossed the seas, and has now reached a sure harbor, where his religious desires may take effect. And now, daughter Constance, mine own good child, fare thee well! Pray for thy poor father, who would fain give thee the blessing of the elder as of the younger son--Jacob's portion and Esau's also. But methinks the blessings of this world be not at the present time for the Catholics of this land; and so we must needs be content, for our children as for ourselves (and a covetous man he is which should not therewith be satisfied), with the blessings our Lord did utter on the mountain, and mostly with that in which he doth say, 'Blessed are ye when men shall persecute you, and revile you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my name's sake; for great is your reward in heaven.'
"Your loving father in natural affection and ten thousand times more in the love of Christ, H. S."
Oh, what a gulf of tenfold separation did those words "beyond seas"suggest betwixt that sole parent and his poor child! Thoughts travelnot with ease beyond the limits which nature hath set to this isle;and what lies beyond the watery waste wherewith Providence hathengirdled our shores offers no apt images to the mind picturing theinvisible from the visible, as it is wont to do with home-scenes,where one city or one landscape beareth a close resemblance toanother. And if, in the forsaking of this realm, so much danger didlie, yea, in the
very ports whence he might sail, so that I, whoshould otherwise have prayed that the winds might detain him, and thewaves force him back on his native soil, was constrained to supplicatethat they should assist him to abandon it,--how much greater,methought, should be the perils of his return, when, as he indeedhoped, a mark should be set on him which in our country dooms men to acruel death! Many natural tears I shed at this parting, which untilthen had not seemed so desperate and final; and for a whilewould not listen to the consolations which were offered by the goodfriends who were so tender to me, but continued to wander about in adisconsolate manner in the garden, or passionately to weep in my ownchamber, until Muriel, the sovereign mistress of comfort to others,albeit ever ailing in her body, and contemned by such as dived notthrough
[Footnote 2: State Papers.]
"You should have told him," I cried, who had been silent longer than Iliked, "that Protestants are burnt also in this reign, by the sametoken that some Anabaptists did so suffer a short time back, to yourMr. Fox's no small disgust, who should will none but Catholics to beput to death."
"Content thee, good Constance," my lady answered; "I be not sofurnished with arguments as thou in a like case wouldst be. So I onlysaid, I would to God none were burnt, or hanged, or tortured any morein this country, or in the world at all, for religion; and my lord ofGloucester declared he was of the same mind, and would have none sodealt with, if he could mend it, here or abroad. Then the queen risingto go, our discourse came to an end; but this good bishop says he willvisit me when he next doth come to London, and make that matter plainto me how I can remain Catholic, and obey the queen, and content hisgrace."
"Then he will show you," I cried, "how to serve God and the world,which the gospel saith is a thing not to be thought of, and full ofperil to the soul."
My Lady Surrey burst into tears, and I was angered with myself that Ihad spoken peradventure over sharply to her who had too much troublealready; but it did make me mad to see her so beset that the faithwhich had been once so rooted in her, and should be her sure and onlystay in the dangerous path she had entered on, should be in such wiseshaken as her words did indicate. But she was not angered, thesweet soul; and drawing me to herself, laid her head on my bosom, andsaid:
"Thou art a true friend, though a bold one; and I pray God I may neverlack the benefit of such friendship as thine, for he knoweth I havegreat need thereof."
And so we parted with many tender embraces, and our hearts morestrictly linked together than heretofore.
CHAPTER X.
In the month of November of the same year in which the queen did visitLord and Lady Surrey at the Charter House, a person, who mentioned nothis name, delivered into the porter's hands at our gate a letter forme, which I found to be from my good father, and which I do heretranscribe, as a memorial of his great piety toward God, and tenderlove for me his unworthy child.
"MY DEARLY BELOVED DAUGHTER (so he),--Your comfortable letter has not a little cheered me; and the more so that this present one is like to be the last I shall be able to write on this side of the sea, if it so happen that it shall please God to prosper my intent, which is to pass over into Flanders at the first convenient opportunity: for the stress of the times, and mine own earnest desire to live within the compass of a religious life, have moved me to forsake for a while this realm, and betake myself to a place which shall afford opportunity and a sufficiency of leisure for the prosecution of my design. The comfortable report Edmund made of thy health, increased height, and good condition, as also of thy exceeding pleasant and affectionate behavior to him, as deputed from thy poor father to convey to thee his paternal blessing, together with such tokens as a third person may exhibit of that most natural and tender affection which he bears to thee, his sole child, whom next to God he doth most entirely value and love,--of which charge this good youth assured me he did acquit himself as my true son in Christ, which indeed he now is,--and my good brother's letter and thine, which both do give proof of the exceeding great favor shown toward thee in his house, wherein he doth reckon my Constance not so much a niece (for such be his words) as a most cherished daughter, whose good qualities and lively parts have so endeared her to his family, that the greatest sorrow which could befal them should be to lose her company; which I do not here recite for to awaken in thee motions of pride or a vain conceit of thine own deserts, but rather gratitude to those whose goodness is so great as to overlook thy defects and magnify thy merits;--Edmund's report, I say, coupled with these letters, have yielded me all the contentment I desire at this time, when I am about to embark on a perilous voyage, of which none can foresee the course or the end; one in which I take the cross of Christ as my only staff; his words, "Follow me," for my motto; and his promise to all such as do confess him before men, as the assured anchor of my hope.
"Our ingenuous youth informed thee (albeit I doubt not in such wise as to conceal, if it had been possible, his own ability, which, with his devotedness, do exceed praise) how he acquitted both me and others of much trouble and imminent danger by his fortunate despatch with that close prisoner. I had determined to place him with some of my acquaintance, lest perhaps he should return, not without some danger of his soul, to his own friends; but when he understood my resolution, he cried out with like words to those of St. Lawrence, 'Whither goeth my master without his servant? Whither goeth my father without his son?' and with tears distilling from his eyes, he humbly entreated he might go together with me, saying, as it were with St. Peter, 'Master, I am ready to go with you to prison, yea to death;' but, forecasting his future ability, as also to try his spirit a little further, I made him answer it was impossible; to which our Edmund replied, 'Alas! and is it impossible? Shall my native soil restrain free will? or home-made laws alter devout resolutions? Am I not young? Can I not study? May I not in time get what you now have got--learning for a scholar? yea, virtue for a priest, perhaps; and so at length obtain that for which you now are ready? Direct me the way, I beseech you; and let me, if you please, be your precursor. Tell me what I shall do, or whither I must go; and for the rest, God, who knows my desire, will provide and supply the want. Can it be possible that he who clothes the lilies of the field, and feeds the fowls of the air, will forsake him who forsakes all to fulfil his divine precept, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all other things shall be given to you?"' Finally, he ended, to my no small admiration, by reciting the words of our Saviour, 'Whosoever shall forsake home, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, for my sake and the gospel's, shall receive a hundredfold and possess life everlasting.'
"By these impulses, often repeated with great fervor of spirit, I perceived God Almighty's calling in him, and therefore at last condescended to let him take his adventures, procuring him commendations to such friends beyond seas as should assist him in his purpose, and furnishing him with money sufficient for such a journey; not judging it to be prudent to keep him with me, who have not ability to warrant mine own passage; and so noted a recusant, that I run a greater risk to be arrested in any port where I embark. And so, in all love and affection, we did part; and I have since had intelligence, for the which I do return most humble and hearty thanks to God, that he hath safely crossed the seas, and has now reached a sure harbor, where his religious desires may take effect. And now, daughter Constance, mine own good child, fare thee well! Pray for thy poor father, who would fain give thee the blessing of the elder as of the younger son--Jacob's portion and Esau's also. But methinks the blessings of this world be not at the present time for the Catholics of this land; and so we must needs be content, for our children as for ourselves (and a covetous man he is which should not therewith be satisfied), with the blessings our Lord did utter on the mountain, and mostly with that in which he doth say, 'Blessed are ye when men shall persecute you, and revile you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my name's sake; for great is your reward in heaven.'
"Your loving father in natural affection and ten thousand times more in the love of Christ, H. S."
Oh, what a gulf of tenfold separation did those words "beyond seas"suggest betwixt that sole parent and his poor child! Thoughts travelnot with ease beyond the limits which nature hath set to this isle;and what lies beyond the watery waste wherewith Providence hathengirdled our shores offers no apt images to the mind picturing theinvisible from the visible, as it is wont to do with home-scenes,where one city or one landscape beareth a close resemblance toanother. And if, in the forsaking of this realm, so much danger didlie, yea, in the