Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century by Georgiana Fullerton
reproaches which hovered on my lips. Kate looked at meaffrighted. I trembled from head to foot. Father Campion's life andthe fate of many others, it might be, were in the hands of this man,this traitor, this spy. To upbraid him I dared not, but wringing myhands, exclaimed:
"O Hubert, Hubert! for thy mother's sake, who looks down on us fromheaven, listen to me. There be no crimes which may not be forgiven;but some there be which if one doth commit them he forgiveth nothimself, and is likely to perish miserably."
"Think you I know this not?" he fiercely cried; "think you not that Isuffer even now the torment you speak of, and envy the beggar in thestreet his stupid apathy?" He drew a paper from his bosom and unfoldedit. A terrible gleam shot through his eyes. "I could compel you to bemy wife."
"No," I said, looking him in the face, "neither man nor fiends cangive you that power. God alone can do it, and he will not."
"Do you see this paper?" he asked. "Here are the names of all therecusants who have been reconciled by the Pope's champion. I have butto speak the word, and to-morrow they are lodged in the Marshalsea orthe Tower, and the priest first and foremost."
"But you will not do it," I said, with a singular calmness. "No,Hubert; as God Almighty liveth, you will not. You cannot commit thiscrime, this foul murther."
"If it should come to that," he fiercely cried, "if blood should beshed, on your head it will fall. You can save them if you list."
"Would you compel me by a bloody threat to utter a false vow?" I said."O Hubert, Hubert! that you, you should threaten to betray a priest,to denounce Catholics! There was a day--have you forgot it?--when atthe chapel at Euston, your father at your side, you knelt, an innocentchild, at the altar's rail, and a priest came to you and said,'_Corpus Domini nostri Jesu Christi custodiat animam tuam ad vitamaeternam_.' If any one had then told you"--
"Oh, for God's sake speak not of it!" he wildly cried; "that waymadness doth lie."
"No, no," I cried; "not madness, but hope and return."
A change came over his face; he thrust the paper in my hand. "Destroyit," he cried; "destroy it, Constance!" And then bursting into tears,"God knoweth I never meant to do it."
"O Hubert, you have been mad, dear brother, more mad than guilty.Pray, and God will bless you."
"Call me not brother, Constance Would to God I had been _only_ mad!But it is too late now to think on it."
"Nay, nay," I cried, "it never is too late."
"Pray for me then," he said, and went to the door: but, turningsuddenly, whispered in a scarce audible manner, "Ask Father Campion topray for me," and then rushed out.
Kate had now half-fainted, and would have it we were all going to bekilled. I pacified and sent her home, lest she should fright herparents with her rambling speeches.
Albeit Hubert's last words had seemed to be sincere, I could not butcall to mind how, after he had been apparently cut to the heart andmoved even to tears by Father Campion's preaching, he had soon utteredthreats which, howsoever recalled, left me in doubt if it should besafe to rely on his silence; so I privately informed Mr. Wells, and heMaster George Gilbert and Father Parsons, of what had passed betweenus. At the same time, I have never known whether by Hubert's means, orin any other way, her majesty's council got wind of the matter, andgave out that great confederacies were made by the Pope and foreignprinces for the invasion of this country, and that Jesuits andseminary priests were sent to prepare their ways. Exquisite diligencewas used for the apprehension of all such, but more particularly thePope's champion, as Master Campion was called. So in the certaintythat Hubert was privy to the existence of the chapel at Noel House,and that many Protestants were also acquainted with it, and likewisewith his lodging at Master Elliot's, where not a few resorted to himin the night, he was constrained by Father Parsons to leave London, tothe no small regret of Catholics and others also which greatly admiredhis learning and eloquence, the like of which was not to be found inany other person at that time. None of those which had attended thepreachments at Noel House were accused, nor the place wherein they hadmet disclosed, which inclineth me to think Hubert did not reveal toher majesty's government his knowledge thereof.
About two months afterward Basil's release and banishment happened. Iwould fain have seen him on his way to the coast; but the order forhis departure was so sudden and peremptory, the queen's officers notlosing sight of him until he was embarked on a vessel going to France,that I was deprived of that happiness. That he was no longer aprisoner I rejoiced; but it seemed as if a second and more grievousseparation had ensued, now that the sea did divide me from the dearobject of my love.
Lady Arundel, whose affectionate heart resented with the most tenderpity the abrupt interruption of our happiness, had often written to meduring this year to urge my coming to Arundel Castle; "for," said she,"methinks, my dear Constance, a third turtle-dove might now be addedto the two on the Queen of Scotland's design; and on thy tree, sweetone, the leaves are, I warrant thee, very green yet, and future joysshall blossom on its wholesome branches, which are pruned but notdestroyed, injured but not withered." She spoke with no smallcontentment of her then residence, that noble castle, her husband'sworthiest possession (as she styled it), and the grandest jewel of hisearldom. For albeit (thus she wrote) "Kenninghall is larger in theextent it doth cover and embrace, and far more rich in its decorationsand adornments, I hold it not to be comparable in true dignity to thiscastle, which, for the strength of its walls, the massive grandeur ofits keep, the vast forests which do encircle it, the river whichbathes its feet, the sea in its vicinity and to be seen from itstower, the stately trees about it, and the clinging ivy which softenswith abundant verdure the stern, frowning walls, hath not its like inall England." But a letter I had from this dear lady a few monthsafter this one contained the most joyful news I could receive, as willbe seen by those who read it:
"My good Constance" (her ladyship wrote), "I would I had you aprisoner in this fortress, to hold and detain at my pleasure.Methinks I will present thee as a recusant, and sue for the privilegeof thy custody. Verily, I should keep good watch over thee. There bedungeons enough, I warrant you, in the keep, wherein to imprisonrunaway friends. Master Bayley doth take great pains to explain to methe names and old uses of the towers, chapels, and buildings withinand without the castle, which do testify to the zeal and piety of pastgenerations: the Chapel of St. Martin, in the keep, which was theoratory of the garrison; the old collegiate buildings of the Collegeof the Holy Trinity; the b Maison-Dieu, designed by Richard, Earl ofArundel, and built by his son on the right bank of the river, for theharboring of twenty aged and poor men, either unmarried or widowers,which, from infirmity, were unable to provide for their own support;the Priory of the Friars Preachers, with the rising gardens behind it;the Chapel of Blessed Mary, over the gate; that of St. James adLeprosos, which was attached to the Leper's Hospital; and St.Lawrence's, which standeth on the hill above the tower; and in thevalley below, the Priory of St. Bartholomew, built by Queen Adelizafor the monks of St. Austin. Verily the poor were well cared for whenall these monasteries and hospitals did exist; and it doth grieve meto think that the moneys which were designed by so many pious men ofpast ages for the good of religion should now be paid to my lord, andspent in worldly and profane uses. Howsoever, I have better hopes thanheretofore that he will one day serve God in a Christian manner. Andnow, methinks, after much doubting if I should dare for to commit soweighty a secret unto paper, that I must needs tell thee, as this timeI send my letter by a trusty messenger, what, if I judge rightly, willprove so great a comfort to thee, my dear Constance, that thine owngriefs shall seem the lighter for it. Thou dost well know how long Ihave been well-affected to Catholic religion, increasing therein dailymore and more, but yet not wholly resolved to embrace and profess it.But by reading a book treating of the danger of schism, soon after mycoming here, I was so efficaciously moved, that I made a firm purposeto become a member of the Catholic and only true Church of God. Icharged Mr. Bayley to seek out a grave and ancient
priest, and tobring him here privately; for I desired very much that myreconciliation, and meeting with this priest to that intent, should bekept as secret as was possible, for the times are more troublesomethan ever, and I would fain have none to know of it until I candisclose it myself to my lord in a prudent manner. I have, as thouknoweth, no Catholic women about me, nor any one whom I durst acquaintwith this business; so I was forced to go alone at an unseasonablehour from mine own lodging in the castle, by certain dark ways andobscure passages, to the chamber where this priest (whose name, forgreater prudence, I mention not here) was lodged, there to make myconfession--it being
"O Hubert, Hubert! for thy mother's sake, who looks down on us fromheaven, listen to me. There be no crimes which may not be forgiven;but some there be which if one doth commit them he forgiveth nothimself, and is likely to perish miserably."
"Think you I know this not?" he fiercely cried; "think you not that Isuffer even now the torment you speak of, and envy the beggar in thestreet his stupid apathy?" He drew a paper from his bosom and unfoldedit. A terrible gleam shot through his eyes. "I could compel you to bemy wife."
"No," I said, looking him in the face, "neither man nor fiends cangive you that power. God alone can do it, and he will not."
"Do you see this paper?" he asked. "Here are the names of all therecusants who have been reconciled by the Pope's champion. I have butto speak the word, and to-morrow they are lodged in the Marshalsea orthe Tower, and the priest first and foremost."
"But you will not do it," I said, with a singular calmness. "No,Hubert; as God Almighty liveth, you will not. You cannot commit thiscrime, this foul murther."
"If it should come to that," he fiercely cried, "if blood should beshed, on your head it will fall. You can save them if you list."
"Would you compel me by a bloody threat to utter a false vow?" I said."O Hubert, Hubert! that you, you should threaten to betray a priest,to denounce Catholics! There was a day--have you forgot it?--when atthe chapel at Euston, your father at your side, you knelt, an innocentchild, at the altar's rail, and a priest came to you and said,'_Corpus Domini nostri Jesu Christi custodiat animam tuam ad vitamaeternam_.' If any one had then told you"--
"Oh, for God's sake speak not of it!" he wildly cried; "that waymadness doth lie."
"No, no," I cried; "not madness, but hope and return."
A change came over his face; he thrust the paper in my hand. "Destroyit," he cried; "destroy it, Constance!" And then bursting into tears,"God knoweth I never meant to do it."
"O Hubert, you have been mad, dear brother, more mad than guilty.Pray, and God will bless you."
"Call me not brother, Constance Would to God I had been _only_ mad!But it is too late now to think on it."
"Nay, nay," I cried, "it never is too late."
"Pray for me then," he said, and went to the door: but, turningsuddenly, whispered in a scarce audible manner, "Ask Father Campion topray for me," and then rushed out.
Kate had now half-fainted, and would have it we were all going to bekilled. I pacified and sent her home, lest she should fright herparents with her rambling speeches.
Albeit Hubert's last words had seemed to be sincere, I could not butcall to mind how, after he had been apparently cut to the heart andmoved even to tears by Father Campion's preaching, he had soon utteredthreats which, howsoever recalled, left me in doubt if it should besafe to rely on his silence; so I privately informed Mr. Wells, and heMaster George Gilbert and Father Parsons, of what had passed betweenus. At the same time, I have never known whether by Hubert's means, orin any other way, her majesty's council got wind of the matter, andgave out that great confederacies were made by the Pope and foreignprinces for the invasion of this country, and that Jesuits andseminary priests were sent to prepare their ways. Exquisite diligencewas used for the apprehension of all such, but more particularly thePope's champion, as Master Campion was called. So in the certaintythat Hubert was privy to the existence of the chapel at Noel House,and that many Protestants were also acquainted with it, and likewisewith his lodging at Master Elliot's, where not a few resorted to himin the night, he was constrained by Father Parsons to leave London, tothe no small regret of Catholics and others also which greatly admiredhis learning and eloquence, the like of which was not to be found inany other person at that time. None of those which had attended thepreachments at Noel House were accused, nor the place wherein they hadmet disclosed, which inclineth me to think Hubert did not reveal toher majesty's government his knowledge thereof.
About two months afterward Basil's release and banishment happened. Iwould fain have seen him on his way to the coast; but the order forhis departure was so sudden and peremptory, the queen's officers notlosing sight of him until he was embarked on a vessel going to France,that I was deprived of that happiness. That he was no longer aprisoner I rejoiced; but it seemed as if a second and more grievousseparation had ensued, now that the sea did divide me from the dearobject of my love.
Lady Arundel, whose affectionate heart resented with the most tenderpity the abrupt interruption of our happiness, had often written to meduring this year to urge my coming to Arundel Castle; "for," said she,"methinks, my dear Constance, a third turtle-dove might now be addedto the two on the Queen of Scotland's design; and on thy tree, sweetone, the leaves are, I warrant thee, very green yet, and future joysshall blossom on its wholesome branches, which are pruned but notdestroyed, injured but not withered." She spoke with no smallcontentment of her then residence, that noble castle, her husband'sworthiest possession (as she styled it), and the grandest jewel of hisearldom. For albeit (thus she wrote) "Kenninghall is larger in theextent it doth cover and embrace, and far more rich in its decorationsand adornments, I hold it not to be comparable in true dignity to thiscastle, which, for the strength of its walls, the massive grandeur ofits keep, the vast forests which do encircle it, the river whichbathes its feet, the sea in its vicinity and to be seen from itstower, the stately trees about it, and the clinging ivy which softenswith abundant verdure the stern, frowning walls, hath not its like inall England." But a letter I had from this dear lady a few monthsafter this one contained the most joyful news I could receive, as willbe seen by those who read it:
"My good Constance" (her ladyship wrote), "I would I had you aprisoner in this fortress, to hold and detain at my pleasure.Methinks I will present thee as a recusant, and sue for the privilegeof thy custody. Verily, I should keep good watch over thee. There bedungeons enough, I warrant you, in the keep, wherein to imprisonrunaway friends. Master Bayley doth take great pains to explain to methe names and old uses of the towers, chapels, and buildings withinand without the castle, which do testify to the zeal and piety of pastgenerations: the Chapel of St. Martin, in the keep, which was theoratory of the garrison; the old collegiate buildings of the Collegeof the Holy Trinity; the b Maison-Dieu, designed by Richard, Earl ofArundel, and built by his son on the right bank of the river, for theharboring of twenty aged and poor men, either unmarried or widowers,which, from infirmity, were unable to provide for their own support;the Priory of the Friars Preachers, with the rising gardens behind it;the Chapel of Blessed Mary, over the gate; that of St. James adLeprosos, which was attached to the Leper's Hospital; and St.Lawrence's, which standeth on the hill above the tower; and in thevalley below, the Priory of St. Bartholomew, built by Queen Adelizafor the monks of St. Austin. Verily the poor were well cared for whenall these monasteries and hospitals did exist; and it doth grieve meto think that the moneys which were designed by so many pious men ofpast ages for the good of religion should now be paid to my lord, andspent in worldly and profane uses. Howsoever, I have better hopes thanheretofore that he will one day serve God in a Christian manner. Andnow, methinks, after much doubting if I should dare for to commit soweighty a secret unto paper, that I must needs tell thee, as this timeI send my letter by a trusty messenger, what, if I judge rightly, willprove so great a comfort to thee, my dear Constance, that thine owngriefs shall seem the lighter for it. Thou dost well know how long Ihave been well-affected to Catholic religion, increasing therein dailymore and more, but yet not wholly resolved to embrace and profess it.But by reading a book treating of the danger of schism, soon after mycoming here, I was so efficaciously moved, that I made a firm purposeto become a member of the Catholic and only true Church of God. Icharged Mr. Bayley to seek out a grave and ancient