Desolation by Bella Jewel
That does it for me. The most amazing explosion erupts in my body. I scream loudly, and my body shudders with the most sensational pleasure I’ve ever felt before in my life. I clutch Tyke’s shoulders, jerking and flinching as each wave of pleasure rolls through my body. I faintly hear his grunt, then a curse, and then he explodes inside me, too.
I drop forward, pressing my head into his sweat-slicked shoulder. He wraps an arm around me, and we sit like that for a long time. When our breathing calms down, I lift my head and meet his eyes. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”
He reaches over, stroking my face. “Me too, little one.”
“Does it always feel that good?”
He chuckles. “I hope so.”
Oh, so do I.
~*~*~*~
NOW –Pippa
Tyke runs the sponge over my back as the hot water cascades over us. We’re in the shower after yet another amazing love-making session, and I’m utterly exhausted. Tyke is washing me, moving his fingers over my skin, and occasionally pressing his lips to my shoulder. I close my eyes and take it all in, every beautiful second of it.
“Tyke?” I whisper as he washes between my legs, flaring my core to life once more.
“Mmmmm?”
“Is this . . . us . . . permanent?”
He stops washing and turns me around to face him. “You think we’re not permanent?”
I shrug. “I wasn’t sure exactly what is happening. You kind of just came in and claimed me.”
He studies my face. “You’re mine, Pippa. You’ve been mine since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I don’t plan on giving you up.”
“You don’t?” I smile, loving how my heart swells.
“Fuck no, baby. You’ve already put yourself in here.” He puts a fist to his broad chest.
I step closer, pressing my lips to his. He kisses me hard and fast before spinning me back around.
“Do you like Rainer?” I ask.
“I don’t know him,” he says tightly.
“He’s important to me, Tyke.”
He sighs. “I know that, and I’m not about to tell you that he can’t be in your life. I just think he wants you more than you know.”
“I know, Tyke. I’ve always known.”
He pauses behind me. “You do?”
“Of course. Rainer has loved me since we were slaves, and I can see in his eyes he still does. That hurts me, because I can never love him back the way he wants. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. I never was. He’s my best friend and I adore him, but I can’t be any more than that to him.”
“He know that?”
“We’ve never discussed it.”
“Maybe you should.”
I let out a huff of air through my nose. “Yeah, maybe.”
He leans down, kissing my neck. “He’ll understand, darlin’. If he loves you, he’ll get it.”
“He already does,” I say sadly. “He always has. He’s never pushed anything; he was just a rock to me when I had nothing. I’ll love him forever for being that. I just want him to be happy. I want him to love someone as much as I love you.”
I stop when I realize what I’ve just said. Neither of us moves. We’re both still, just standing with water cascading over us.
“You love me?” Tyke says, his voice thick.
I turn and look up at him. “More than my own soul.”
He flinches and reaches out, cupping my jaw. “You fuckin’ love me?”
“Yes, Tyke, I love you.”
He closes his eyes, letting that sink in. “Fuck, baby.”
He looks at me again, and there’s a deep, beautiful understanding in his gaze.
“They told me you were unable to be fixed. All these years I’ve been by your side, holding back because they told me you didn’t need that kind of drama, that I was no good for you, and that my demons and your demons would never work. Yet what do you know? Those two demons got married and they’re making it work.”
I laugh softly. “Two of a kind perhaps makes one whole.”
He strokes my cheek with his thumb.
“I love you too, Pippa. Have since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“You do?” I say, my bottom lip trembling.
“Fuck yeah, I do.”
I think maybe, just maybe, this is the best moment of my life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
NOW – Pippa
“Tell me about your accident?” I say, snuggling into Tyke on the main couch later that day.
He frowns, his brows furrowing. Then he starts talking. “It was just that—an accident. I was riding my bike; it was wet and dark. People don’t respect bikes, you know? They don’t look out for them, they don’t care about them. I had my light on, but this car pulled out in front of me, even though he sure as shit heard me coming. I smashed into the side door, hit it so hard I was thrown from the bike. I don’t really know what happened after that—all I know is I woke up and my legs had been crushed by a wheel, mine, the car’s, I don’t know. I couldn’t walk.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
He takes a piece of my hair and plays absently with as he continues. “For the first month, I couldn’t get out of that bed. I had operations, but I was bitter. I was so fucking angry and they told me that got into my head. I became depressed, refusing help. The more help I refused, the more time I lost in recovery. My muscles didn’t recover properly, because I refused physical therapy. They weakened, and my bones weren’t healing properly. Then they told me if I didn’t get better, I couldn’t ride again.”
My heart aches, because I know what that would have done to him.
“That would have sucked,” I say softly.
“Yeah,” he grunts. “Riding was my life. You know that. I got even angrier, and spent more time feeling sorry for myself. After a few years, I was able to get up and walk a little, but mostly I relied on that chair. Having to be carted around by the guys, knowing I was always just the back-up guy, the one who drove the cars instead of getting involved? It fucked with my head.”
He starts stroking my shoulder now.
“Then I met you. Saw what you had been through, and decided I’d had enough of being sidelined. If I wasn’t sidelined, I could have been there to help you when you needed it. So, I went back to the doctor and started physical therapy. A little late, but it started working, as you know. It’s taken three years, because I started not long after you got back. Bit by bit, my muscles are getting better, and one day I hope to walk without pain.”
“Does it always hurt?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, not anymore. If I overdo it, like I did last week, then yeah, it fuckin’ kills, but it’s getting easier and easier to do everyday things.”
“I’ve never seen you doing your physical therapy.”
He kisses the top of my head. “That’s because I do all the exercises in private. I used to go in three times a week, but now I can do it all at home. I do it every night before bed.”
“You do?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“And does walking help?”
“It makes me stronger. I try to pretend that chair no longer exists.”
“Fair enough.”
“Anyway, enough about me,” he says.
I go to answer, but the door opens and Rainer enters, another carton of alcohol in his hands. He smiles at me and I stand, rushing over. “Hey!” I beam.
He hands the alcohol over and pulls me into his arms. “Your bikers drink a fucking lot, pretty girl.”
I laugh and stand back. “They do. I didn’t know you were coming back up?”
“Maddox told me they’d run out, and needed more. So here I am.”
“Rainer.”
We both turn to see Maddox and Tyke standing behind us. Tyke nods his head at Rainer and Maddox gives him an easy smile. “You have any troubles gettin’ up here?”
Rainer shakes his head. “Nah, and I made sure I wasn’t fo
“Good man.”
“Pippa!”
I turn and see Santana calling out to me from the front yard.
“I’ll be back,” I say, rushing past.
I rush down the front steps and stop in front of my sister. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” She smiles, wrapping an arm around me. “I just wanted to see how you’re going.”
I narrow my eyes. “No you don’t.”
She laughs. “No, faith. I do. Really.”
I snort.
“Pippa, stop snorting at me. I’m allowed to see my sister.”
“You have a stupid smile on your face.”
She laughs. “Okay, fine, you got me. I just wanted to see how you and Tyke are?”
“Why?” I question.
“Well, you guys were, um, a little loud earlier.”
I stop dead.
“What?” I whisper.
She stops and turns to me. “Don’t be embarrassed. It was adorable.”
I raise my brows. “Adorable? Tyke and I making love was adorable?”
“I didn’t sound like making love.” She leans in close with a grin. “It sounded like fucking.”
“Santana!”
She grabs my shoulders. “Aw come on, Pippi, we’re sisters. You’re supposed to tell me all about your love making.”
“I’m not telling you about our . . . private time,” I scoff.
She grins, and I roll my eyes.
“And it was love making, thank you very much.”
“So he hasn’t fucked you yet?”
I blink at her. “There’s a difference?”
She grins. “Oh, yes. Fucking is raw and primal and usually slammed against a wall with no foreplay—just angry sex.”
My eyes widen. “That doesn’t sound so amazing.”
“Oh, it is.” She sighs. “Maddox does it all the time. I love him when he charges through the front door, pissed about his day, and just bends me over the counter.”
“Santana!” I cry again, covering my ears. “No, ew.”
She laughs so loudly tears fill her eyes. “Don’t be shy. It’s fun to talk about these things.”
“You’ve been with bikers far too long.”
She puts her arm around me again. “Probably. Anyway, you have to tell me everything about Tyke. He’s so hot.”
“Tana,” I groan.
“Is he big?”
“Jesus.”
She laughs and I can’t help but smile.
It really is nice to be treated as a sister for the first time in my life. It would seem I’m finally being looked at as anything but the broken angel.
Finally.
~*~*~*~
NOW -Pippa
Santana and I walk and talk for hours, and it’s so damned nice to feel accepted. We laugh, we giggle, and we talk about our men and everything else in our lives. Just as the afternoon falls and we’re walking back to the cabin, we hear the ruckus. It’s soft at first, but gets louder and louder as we near closer. It sounds as if a fight has broken out.
“What’s that?” Tana asks.
“Sounds like a fight,” I say, tilting my head to the side to try and hear more clearly.
“Let’s check it out.” Santana takes my hand and we run towards the cabin just as I hear someone bark out what sounds like my name. We charge up the front steps and enter the house to see Rainer and Tyke on the floor, rolling around and throwing punches. My heart leaps into my throat and I skid to a halt. Tyke is on top of Rainer and drives a punch into his face, before Rainer returns the favor and does the same. They’ve both got busted lips and blood trickling down their skin. My heart stops.
“Stop it!” I cry, rushing forward, but a set of hard arms go around my waist.
“Pippa, leave them,” Krypt says into my ear. “They have to work this out between themselves.”
“No, they don’t,” I yell. “Stop it!”
My voice is barely loud enough to rise above the screaming and grunting of the men. My heart pounds and panic swells in my chest as they continue beating into each other.
“You piece of shit,” Rainer barks. “Does she even know?”
“Fuck off. You know nothin’,” Tyke hisses. “Back off.”
“You’re no good, fuckin’ no good!”
“And you are?” Tyke bellows.
I lose it. I take a deep breath and I scream, “Stop it!”
Both men stop mid punch, and look at me in shock. I’ve never screamed so loudly in my life. Rainer’s eyes are the first to soften, and he shoves Tyke down, standing up. Tyke rolls to his back and gets up, glaring at Rainer. They’re both panting and trembling with rage,
“What are you doing?” I whisper, and I know my eyes are pained.
“Did you know he has a girlfriend?” Rainer grunts.
My eyes flick to Tyke. “Yes, he did.”
“No,” Rainer continues. “He does. He hasn’t ended it with her. I heard one of the guys ask him when I was heading out to find you, and he told them he hasn’t given her the flick yet.”
My heart drops and I turn to Tyke, who has a tight jaw and is looking at the wall.
“Tyke?”
He looks to me. I can see it in his eyes even before I ask the question.
“You haven’t broken it off with Andi?”
“Fuck, Pip, I haven’t had the time. I got home and came straight to you—then we’ve been here and honestly, I haven’t even thought about her since we got together.”
My hands start shaking. He hasn’t thought about her? He has just forgotten about her while she’s sitting down there, thinking he’s still dating her.
“You came straight to me, you took my v . . . v . . . v . . . virginity, you told me you loved me, but technically you were still with another woman?” My voice is a low hiss.
“Fuck, Pip, no,” Tyke whispers, stepping forward.
“Don’t . . . you took that from me, you spent days with me making me feel amazing, and it was behind another woman’s back.”
His face tightens. “I had every intention of calling her, but fuck, I haven’t stopped. I don’t care about her, Pippa.”
“She doesn’t know that,” I scream. “She doesn’t know you don’t care. She doesn’t know you’re with another woman. She is there, still thinking you’re with her. It doesn’t matter that you don’t want it, because she does. I don’t like her, but I don’t ever want to be that woman.”
“Pippa,” he tries, but I shake my head, cutting him off.
“No,” I whisper, stepping back. “No. You should have ended it with her before you even got home. That should have never happened, Tyke.”
“No,” he says, his voice gruff. “It shouldn’t have, but I wasn’t thinking about it. All I was thinking about was you and everything else that has been going on.”
I want that to be enough, but the idea that Andi is still sitting down there, thinking he still wants her, bothers me to no end. Even if I don’t like her, it isn’t fair. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to be the woman who is sitting, thinking she’s got a boyfriend, when he’s off declaring his love to another woman. Care or not, Tyke still cheated on her. With me. Because of me.
“Rainer,” I say, turning to him. “Take me from here, please.”
“Pippa!” Tyke growls. “You’re not leaving.”
I ignore him, reaching out for Rainer’s hand. “Please?”
Rainer’s eyes flick to me, then to Tyke, then to Maddox. “Can I take her?”
Maddox’s jaw is tight, and he’s glaring at Tyke. Then he turns to Rainer. “She isn’t directly linked to the club. If you take her to your house, she will be safe.”
“No,” Tyke bellows, turning to Maddox. “You know she ain’t safe.”
“She isn’t with you, brother. And even if the past few days she was, no one will know. She’s safe. She isn’t related to the club.”
“She could have been seen with Santana. You know it, Maddox,” Tyke roars.
“I can’t keep her here against her will and you fuckin’ well know it. She isn’t an old lady, Tyke.”
“She’s my old lady,” Tyke snarls.
“No,” I whisper. “I’m not.”
Tyke turns to me, his eyes full of grief and pain. “Pippa, I fucked up. I get that. But it was an honest mistake.”
“You made love to me Tyke, you spent days with me, and all that time you’re telling me Andi hasn’t crossed your mind once?”
He looks down at his boots, his jaw ticking.
“That’s what I thought,” I say, my voice shaky. “You might not have thought about her much, but one thought is all it would have taken for you to know it was wrong.”
“She isn’t even my girlfriend,” he says, his voice thick.
“Then why have you been with her for over two months? You and I both know that’s not just a one-night stand.”
“Jesus, Pippa, don’t leave.”
“I just need a few days, I . . . I just need space.”
Tyke’s eyes flash to Rainer. “You touch her . . .”
Rainer glares at Tyke, and wraps an arm around my shoulder. “I’ve got this.”
Then he turns us and we walk out the front door. Santana comes running over when we reach Rainer’s truck.
“Pip,” she says, taking my arm and spinning me around. “Is this really what you want?”
“He’s still with another woman. He didn’t even tell her; that’s not right, Tana.”
“No, it’s not, but he loves you. Surely you can see that.”
“And I love him, but he should never have put his hands on me while he was still with another girl. That does things to me; it makes me ache, because she doesn’t know. Like her or not, that doesn’t matter. She likes him, even if she is a bitch. And she still has no idea he’s no longer interested. That’s not fair.”
Santana drops her head and sighs. “No, it’s not. Look, Pippa, you’re safest here.”
“Maybe, but Rainer will take care of me.”
“I know, but . . .”
I reach out and cup her jaw. “I’ll be fine, Tana. Okay?”
She nods, swallowing. “Just don’t be mad at him forever, okay?”
I hug her. “I love him—that could never happen. But he needs to realize what he’s done and finish it, then I’ll talk more with him.”