Destiny Be Damned by Rebecca Royce
I took another sip of the bitter drink. It wasn’t better. But Wayne was drinking his in large gulps, and Gordon had drained half his glass. There had to be some point to it. Drunk people often seemed happy. Maybe it would be fun to be…
My glass shattered into a hundred pieces, the brown liquid spilling out all over the table. Neil jumped to his feet, placing me behind him. In no time flat they were all up, staring at the mess. I wasn’t cut, I was just wet, and Neil had to be a little, too.
No…
I heard the voice and looked up to see a spirit dancing in the room above my head. They looked more like birds than people, but I didn’t really know what divinity was supposed to look like in the first place. The Guards sometimes saw ravens. Maybe divinity had a thing for birds.
Ren looked around the room. “What just happened?”
“I guess it’s not an appropriate time for me to drink. Sorry.” I rushed to the kitchen and grabbed towels while they all stared at the mess as though they’d never seen one before. I had it half cleaned up before one of them spoke again.
Lennon rocked back on his feet. “Wow. The divinity just broke your glass.”
“Sorry. Hang out with Sisters long enough and you get used to them being constantly in the room. Sort of. I mean, I’m sure there are things they aren’t watching. They’re very talkative with me right now.” This was uncomfortable. “Maybe because I don’t have Guards? They need to make sure I’m not screwing up.”
Ren laughed, and all eyes in the room turned to him. “And you thought I was going to see something cooler than this on this trip? The divinity just broke her glass.”
I was glad someone thought it was great. It was just another reminder of how I would never, ever be just a normal woman getting to do as I pleased.
I looked up at a sky. “I took down a weather demon today. I’d never even heard of one. It would destroy some eternal plan if I had a drink tonight?”
They were apparently not answering. I shook my head. “Sorry, guys. I’ll go back to my room. Enjoy the rest of your night.”
“You don’t have to go.” Neil took my hand. “I mean, I think we all got a little stunned for a second. But it’s fine.”
The mood had changed. The easy time where they all included me as though I was one of them had left for the night. I hoped not permanently. “Goodnight.”
For once, I didn’t have to walk home in the rain. The night felt chilly, and despite having been surrounded by people all day, I’d never felt more alone.
I fell asleep easily, which should have been my first sign it wouldn’t be a good night. With my mental barriers down, Katrina’s cursed road invaded my mind. I sighed because I wanted to scream and I knew from experience how little it would matter. Would I see the babies tonight, or would I be free from them?
Anne hadn’t come to see me, which meant she wasn’t ready to tell me what to do about my Oracle problem. Of course, I might be forever stuck on this dark road and never free to find any children anyway.
I walked slowly. In this state, I was unable to stand still for very long.
I was jolted awake. The room was quiet, but I wasn’t alone. Wayne lay next to me, snuggling into the bed. He wrapped an arm around me and went quiet. Did he not know he’d woken me up?
I turned slightly in his arms to find his eyes half open. “Hi.”
“Did I wake you? I couldn’t sleep. I just felt like maybe you should have company.” He reached out and tipped my chin toward him. His mouth pressed lightly on my own. “You okay?”
“I am now. I was having a bad dream.” I didn’t want to go into the details of the whole thing. Better to let it fade away. Maybe I wouldn’t have it again tonight.
He nodded. “So then my gut wasn’t wrong. Glad to be here with you. Go to sleep.”
I loved these quiet moments with each of them. I hadn’t slept with Gordon, and the no kissing rule told me I wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon. I only had a week left with them anyway. It would stop soon.
“What is your favorite food?”
He knew mine. We’d all eaten it together. “Steak. A really good steak. Or just caught fresh fish. Green vegetables. Lennon’s mother’s pie.”
“Not your own mother’s?”
“Ack, no.” He laughed lightly. “She tried, and I loved her completely, but no, not anything she cooked. My father cooked. And he didn’t bake.” He was quiet for a moment. “I know you didn’t have a family to grow up with, but did you have any fun childhood memories.”
Fun ones? Well, that was a good question. “I used to love to see the butterflies outside my window. They’d hover there. I’d touch the glass and watch.”
“That was your favorite childhood memory? Watching the butterflies?”
I elbowed him lightly. “Not all of us grew up on a demon-free island with fields to run through.”
“Fields?” He snorted. “I never ran through fields.”
Okay, that had been one of my fantasies. Too bad. I’d cross that one off. No running through fields. Wayne kissed me, square on the lips. The slight growth of whiskers on his chin rubbed against me, and I loved the feeling. I ran my fingertips through the scruff.
He kissed me and kissed me. I could hardly keep up with him, but who needed air when Wayne’s mouth on mine could shut out the rest of the world? We adjusted positions until I was fully under him, and he held himself off me on his elbows.
Wayne pulled off slightly, pushing my hair off my forehead while he stared down at me. “I can’t tell you how much I love kissing you. I… I thought there was something wrong with me for years. I’ve always had total disinterest in anyone. Women. Men. And I know there are people who are just not into the physical side of relationships. That’s fine. But I wanted it. I just didn’t want it with anyone I met. Until you. It was like… wham. I know what you told the others and that is fine. I just wanted you to know how special you are to me.” He rolled his eyes. “Maybe that sounds to you as dumb as it did to me just did coming out of my mouth, but…”
I kissed him to stop him. “You’re very special to me, too. I wish… well, no I don’t wish. I struggle with my duties, but I wouldn’t do anything other than what I do. I help people. That’s a gift. But I wish this was possible. That somehow I could also be the woman who could stay with you. I’ve never laughed like I do with all of you. I’ve never daydreamed. I’ve never… any of this.”
Maybe the less said on this the better. I’d thought telling them nothing past kissing would protect me somehow, but I hadn’t realized there were lots of ways into my heart. Right here and right now, I was dangerously close to sliding straight into loving them. I couldn’t let it happen. How would I manage without them?
Wayne must have felt the moment the same way. He was quiet, too, eventually rolling over to the side of me and readjusting me back into his arms. I closed my eyes. This would all be over soon, and I could obsess over that or just be glad this very sweet, kind man wanted to hold me in that night’s darkness and wait for morning with me.
I woke with the light coming through the window and the sounds of Wayne snoring in my ear. I grinned. It hadn’t bothered me when I’d been asleep, and it was sort of rhythmic in a way that the sound only alerted me he was there. Or I was smitten and everything about him was going to be adorable. It took me a second to feel his hardness against my back.
My heart rate kicked up, and I moved just a little. Wayne hadn’t hidden the fact that he wanted me, and the evidence of it was right there. He moaned slightly with my squirm but otherwise didn’t wake. I held his arm around mine, running my fingers through the dark hair there. This time it was his turn to shift slightly, which only pushed his hardness further against me.
His head came down to my shoulder, where he pressed the slightest kiss. “Tell the light to go away. Tell it that we still have hours. Because as soon as it’s really here, I have to get up and…” His voice trailed off and he adjusted himself, the hardness I’d actually liked feeling co
I turned in his arms. “Good morning.” I kissed his chin. I really liked touching Wayne there. “I don’t want it to be morning either. I like it right here, with you. I like how this feels to just be here with you with nothing else in the world except this small space. With you.”
His hair fell slightly in his face, and I reached over to smooth it back. The soft strands made me smile. Someday there would be a woman who got to lie like this with him in the morning and have nowhere to go. She would say, let’s stay in bed today, and maybe they could for a while. The rest of the world had ended, but not on Peter’s Isle, and there, someday, Wayne would know love that didn’t have an expiration date.
“I have the benefit of sometimes hearing the divine. Sometimes, they speak to me. Others of my order have seen the other side, Teagan returned from it. You haven’t met her yet. And the reason I tell you this is that because knowing there is another realm, another place lets me say certain things with certainty. Knowing that in that place souls are placed together to be forever in love, it lets me tell you that there is such a thing as true love, Wayne. You may not have met her or him yet. She or he may be north of here. Or you didn’t realize it because you wanted to explore but they wait at home for you on Peter’s. Or someday you just see that person somewhere. And they are your one. You will have the real thing. There isn’t a demon around who could mess that up for you. I know it.”
He ran his hand down the side of my face. I shuddered from the contact. I wouldn’t cry at the thought of it being someone else. Somehow, I would be joyful for him and grateful I had these moments.
Somehow.
10
The sun shined brightly and had for the last five days. I smiled to myself. It was nice to know I had something to do with the great weather. The next time it rained, hopefully that would be all it was—weather. No demon attached.
The guys—I couldn’t afford to think of them as my guys—were working furiously. I hardly saw them, and I’d started to wonder if that was on purpose. Maybe it was time for them to make a break from me. Or I’d done something to upset them.
As much as I loved the sunlight, I dragged my feet toward the house. Going to see if the horse carriage had brought any deliveries was exhausting. It was hard to sleep without them and that was a giant problem. I’d been alone for four nights. I had to get used to it again, fast, since they were leaving in three nights. Or sooner, from the looks of things.
“Ah, damn it.” Gordon jumped, pushing away from the house. I hadn’t seen him do it, but I bet he’d smashed his hand, again. The plumbing was done, and it looked like he was helping with the finishing touches.
Daniella’s husband, Max, looked at Anne’s Bryant then up at the sky. Bryant shook his head. I wasn’t sure what that unspoken communication was about, but Gordon held Bryant’s hand for a second before he shook it, hard.
“This is your fault,” he shouted at Lennon who turned around slowly. He dropped his screwdriver and rounded on Gordon.
I’d never seen Lennon get upset before. His eyes were huge, and he pointed his finger right in Gordon’s face. “It’s not my fault you are so clumsy you can’t use your hammer.”
Gordon shoved him. “Say that again.”
“Hey,” I called out, and they both turned toward me. Gordon stepped away from Lennon, and Neil shoved himself into the space between them.
“They’ll be fine. Little hot out today, that’s all.” He put his hands on both their shoulders. “Keep it together.”
Gordon nodded, picking his hammer back up. Neil nodded at me. “Hi, Mika. How are you?”
“I’m fine.” What I wanted to do was beg him to invite me to play cards with them or have dinner, but I wouldn’t do either thing. They knew I wanted to be there. If they weren’t asking me, it was purposeful. I had to respect the separation, even if it was killing me. I tried to smile. “How are you?”
He cleared his throat. Nearby, Bryant spoke to Milo. “It’s like watching someone take a beating over and over. Why fight it?”
“Can’t interfere,” Milo answered fast. “Sometimes a person declines their given path. We can’t make what should happen, happen.”
I didn’t know why they were talking about destiny right then. Didn’t they ever discuss just simple things? Like… what to have for dinner?
“Can I speak with you?” Neil touched my arm. “Over there a bit?”
Since he’d practically run away the day before when I’d approached, I was surprised he wanted to speak. I nodded and followed him toward the guesthouse.
“You’re okay?” He was asking me again?
I nodded. “Yes.”
“I… I know I haven’t been talking. I, um, we’ve been trying to figure out if we could make it work to stay here. Like open a shop in the nearby town and be with you. If that could work, is that something you would want?”
His words banged around in my head; they were so unexpected. “Is that something you want? All of you?”
“The reason we’ve been taking a little space is to figure that out. We seem to move in waves whether we think that’s a possibility or not. Then we realized as we were going back and forth… we don’t even know if it’s something you want.”
I swallowed, trying to be rational in my response. It wasn’t working.
“Neil, I understand what you’re trying to say to me. I really do. And…” I shook my head. Tears threatened to clog my throat. “I can’t make you want to stay with me or give you reasons why it’s a good idea. In fact, hearing you say that you had to discuss it? That you went back and forth? That you’re deciding? That is awful. Please don’t stay.”
The men I liked wanted me to tell them if I wanted them to stay? Anne’s men crossed the country to pull her out of a cage. Granted, these were not my soul mates. In the real world, people thought with their heads as much as their hearts. That was the problem. I wanted my soul mates. Where were they?
Once I opened the floodgates, letting my tears out, it was too much. I wasn’t going to be able to stop them. That was why I never went down this train of thought. I simply didn’t allow it. I bent over and grabbed onto my knees. I had to breathe.
“Mika, I think you’re misunderstanding me.”
Ren appeared next to Neil. “What did you do to her? Are you okay?”
I held up my hand. “Do I want you to stay? That is what you asked me. The answer is not yes or no.”
Ren groaned. “You asked her that?”
“I thought…”
I interrupted him. “Enough is enough. I want you to be so overwhelmed with the thought of leaving me that you couldn’t possibly consider doing so. That’s not fair to you. That’s something my destined soul mates should have felt. But I was… wrong somehow. It didn’t work out. That’s my burden to bear. I can’t expect you to have those kinds of feelings for me. You’ve known me weeks. So, no, don’t stay. Don’t. Because if you stay, I’m going to expect you to be that.” I choked on my words and reined them in. I had to keep it in. I had to. I stood straighter. “Go find your destinies and leave me to mine.”
I turned my back on them and tried not to flee. It was harder than it should have been. I just wanted to run. Neither one of them called out to me. The other three I passed turned to look at me and said nothing. They’d made pros and cons to stay with me. I bet I could list my cons.
I rounded the corner to the house and took the stairs two at a time. By the time I got to my rooms and closed the door, I was vibrating with pain.
Con—Has a crazy life. Can’t ever leave the Sisterhood without drawing demons.
Con—Is unwanted by other men. Who wants someone so clearly flawed that destined soul mates preferred to stay away?
On my worst days that was what I thought. I knew there might be other reasons, but right then? This was what came.
Con—Cursed and so therefore will never sleep well again.
Con—Can’t drink alcohol without shattering a glass.
Con—
A yell outside caught my attention, and I darted to the window to look out. At the gate were Teagan and her Guards. I cried out, glad to see my friend. But my moment of joy faded as I saw she had what looked like fifty Sisters with her. They traveled out of carriages, each of Teagan’s men helping them. They wore the garb from the other Sisterhood, everything but the masks.
Some of them rocked back and forth, just as I had. Oh no. What had Katrina done? And…
I gasped. No! Behind them was a sight I’d hoped never to see. They were supposed to be gone. Demon wraiths.
They were the stuff of legends. Creatures so vile that the demons themselves had eliminated them. They were pale, thin. Almost non-substantial. They wore black cloaks that covered their bodies, showing only their pointy chins and red eyes. They were more smoke than solid, and they ate us alive. We couldn’t fight them.
Left to their own devices, those demon-like creatures would kill everyone and there would be no one left here for the regular horrible demons to abuse. The demons had wiped out the wraiths. Or they were supposed to have.
We couldn’t kill them.
I rushed from the door. The creatures floated in the sky. I could see them. The others might not yet. I rushed down the stairs and out the front door nearly colliding with Krystal, who was doing the same thing.
“Is that…,” she cried out.
“Yes,” I called back. “Go to the children. Get to the nannies and the kids. Get them into a closet. Something. Protect the kids.” No, that wouldn’t do. There was no hiding from wraiths. Only running. “Krystal, you need to take all the non-divinity touched people and you need to get them away. Carriages. Start with them. If we’re going to survive this, there is only one thing to do.”
I ran from the house, leaving Krystal to do what I asked of her. She didn’t have powers anymore but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t be counted on. She would help.
“Wraith. Wraith. Wraith.” I pointed at the sky and everyone in the vicinity turned to where I indicated. Only the Sisters would see them. That was half the problem. Regular people never saw them coming. They just thought their friends and loved ones had died suddenly, not that they had been sucked dry by a demon wraith.