Destiny Be Damned by Rebecca Royce
I wanted to argue, but it was pointless when someone made sense. She wasn’t there. I couldn’t rescue her instantly. Tomorrow, I would start to figure out how. We all would. We’d left Peter’s to find her then not even realized what that meant.
I wouldn’t fail her again. Not ever. Tomorrow, I would walk toward the destiny I always should have embraced.
13
Mika
I walked toward Sister Katrina’s room in this new Sisterhood where I had been brought. Three days on a train. I suspected this was the most north I’d ever been. I couldn’t say for sure since I didn’t remember my trip from the old Sisterhood to Anne’s. It was possible that in those missing months I’d detoured north.
Not likely. But possible.
I tried to keep my back straight, but it was hard. I’d had the same clothes on for three days. I was tired. I’d hardly been able to eat through my nerves, and when I did sleep, I found myself around an empty fire, alone, with no idea what I was supposed to do. I guessed that was better than the cursed road I’d been on lately. Still, neither was great.
Why couldn’t I have dreams of men who came to fix things and kissed me in the dark? Except for Gordon. But he’d been exciting in his own way. He was a challenge; he didn’t make things easy and that was fine, too. He’d cared. He’d been there when I’d needed him.
Maybe thinking about them got me down the hall without my knees buckling. I didn’t know. But we were at her door.
I looked up at Titus on my right and Zeke on my left. “Do this a lot? Kidnap women and drag them to Katrina?”
“Most of the time, we go get the new Sisters. We’ve worked for the Oracle for years.” Titus answered me. “So we’ll be your new team, Sister Mika. Look forward to it.”
My whole body went cold. The old Oracle had spent her entire life hidden away at the back of the Sisterhood. Sometimes, we had heard her scream. How quickly had she gone mad? That had to be why she was out of commission now. How long could one person be left alone without completely falling into a blackness they never came out of?
But she hadn’t been entirely alone. She’d had these five with her in between sending them out to steal babies with whatever Sister was assigned to go with them to do the deed.
Zeke nodded his head. “I’m sure you’ll be fine about this once you settle in.”
“Settle in?” I laughed because it was too funny not to. “I don’t see that happening. You’ve condemned me to a lifetime of hell. I hope you’re happy.”
“Sister, you’ve been led astray.”
What broke my heart was it was clear that Titus meant that. He really believed the line he’d been sold. Well, I supposed until I broke, I’d have a lifetime to find out why he had fallen for whatever it was that Katrina had sold him.
He opened the door, and I stepped inside. Sister Katrina stood by the window, looking at the outside. She didn’t turn when I entered. Titus followed, and Zeke stayed behind in the hall. I wasn’t at all surprised to see that she didn’t acknowledge me. This was one of the things she did, one of the ways she kept power of us. Katrina wouldn’t speak until she was ready, no matter how long everyone else in the room stood waiting.
There was no such thing as manners when it came to this woman. No reason. No accountability, and no one she had to answer to. Once, I’d believed she at least spoke for divinity, but now I knew better. She was just a sick, demon-worshiping woman who needed to be dethroned.
I wasn’t going to speak first. I’d gotten beaten for doing that once, too. Come to think of it, Katrina had really had it out for me for a long time.
Maybe I made her feel threatened.
“The last time I saw you, Sister Mika, you were helping with an uprising.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’d hardly call it that. And if it turned into that, you have no one to blame but yourself. You can only pull the wool over people’s eyes for so long.” I looked at Titus. “Except for him. Maybe you can fool him forever.”
Katrina actually smiled. She was a beautiful woman. I’d give her that. Tall, thin, dark-haired, dark-eyed. Her face never wrinkled—maybe that was because of the never smiling thing. I didn’t know. The Sisters held her up as a reference of beauty. Everyone wanted to look like her. Well, I didn’t. I wasn’t vain. Beauty didn’t interest me all that much. When so much was constantly on the line, what I looked like ranked very low on my list of priorities. I was never going to resemble Katrina. For that, I supposed I could be grateful. I was happy just as I was.
And now, she just looked cold and unchanging. People were not supposed to be the same all the time. Part of what made us unique, made us gorgeous, made us human was how we aged. This woman never did, and I had to believe it was dark magic that did that to her.
Or maybe consorting with demons.
“I tried to help you, to teach you a lesson, and you disappeared. How did you do that?”
So she didn’t know any more than I did? “I have no idea. None. Did you bring me all this way to ask? You could have sent a letter through the horse service. I’d have written back.”
I pushed her, and I knew it, but I would not cower. I refused to live another day not speaking my mind when it came to those who deserved to be called on their evil. Anne, Teagan, Daniella—those women worked hard. They tried without fail to help others. His woman—she practically wanted the final apocalypse.
“You know why you are here.” She stepped away from the window. “Our Oracle is no longer seeing visions. They have been cut off, and she has moved on.” Dead, most likely. “That isn’t supposed to happen until an Oracle passes away. Now, why that happened is not my problem. What is my problem is that I don’t have an Oracle. But then I heard about you. My Mika. I had no idea you had this in you.”
I rolled my eyes. “No vision. That was always your problem, Katrina. Lack of understanding. I’m glad we worked this out. I can go now.”
A muscle ticked in her jaw, and I almost gasped. Look at that, I’d elicited a reaction.
“Listen to me, girl. I will not lose the new Sisters that are born. This is for their own good. They will not live into adulthood without help. The demons get them, the demons take them. I need to save them as I saved you.”
I bent forward. “You didn’t save me. You used and abused me, perverting our true ways, denying us our soul mates. You are not what the divine proclaimed.”
She pounded her fist down on the desk. “I am beyond the divine. They cannot see what I do. This is my world, not theirs.”
To that, Titus raised his eyebrows. I didn’t care. It was too late for him to help me. He’d not come through when I needed assistance. If he went on from here and helped someone else because he developed a doubt for Katrina, then that was great.
I’d poked her too much. I wasn’t getting out of here unscathed.
“You will”—she pointed at me—“be my Oracle now. You will give your visions to me.”
I shook my head. “Not now. Not ever. Never. Ever. Ever. No.” I needed to be very clear.
“I’m not asking you.”
She raised her hand to strike me, and I grabbed onto it. I wasn’t the girl who had stood still to take it as part of her duty. This woman was not going to beat me, at least physically, today. I saw the second it occurred to her that I was not going to take her blow. Her eyes widened slightly, and words I couldn’t understand flew from her mouth.
A blow of heat overtook me, and I stumbled back. I knew this feeling. She’d cursed me, only this time I wasn’t terrified. I knew this dark road. I knew I would survive it.
If this was the best she could do, she would have to do better.
In the distance, a baby cried. Almost of their own volition, my legs started moving toward the sound. I sighed. This was the Oracle in me. I had to go toward the children whether I wanted to or not. But I was alone in here. Katrina couldn’t see the babies. I’d find them—fine—but she had no power to make me do anything else.
In a cottage that looke
Mom spoke to the baby. “There, there. Somehow, this is all going to be fine.”
It was because I was not going to tell anyone where she was. This green cabin, if I closed my eyes I could see where it was. She was on the border of the Badlands, remarkably close to nobility. Almost none of the Sisters came from places as nice as this.
“You don’t have to tell me. I can see it, too.”
I darted backward. Where had Katrina come from? “This is my curse. I can see what I wish from your eyes. I can see things even when you don’t want me to see them. Even when you think the curse has waned, I’ll see you. Through your eyes. Through the eyes of Krystal. Through the eyes of any of the Sisters I have cursed. All of them. You are all mine now, and have been this whole time. How do you think I knew to send the wraiths when I did?”
She had to be lying. That was what Katrina did. She lied.
There was only one problem. I swallowed. Her words didn’t ring around in my head as being false. I believed her.
This whole time—since Teagan pulled me from this place—Katrina had been able to come and go as she pleased from my mind. I shouldn’t have been shocked. We knew for a fact she’d rolled around in Teagan’s for a while, somehow using Beelzebub to do it. He’d managed to block her, but she’d been in there.
“I have already dispatched Guards and a Sister to go get this little girl. What shall I call her? I give you all names. You’re all my daughters, of sorts. I take your human names, and I give you names for divinity.” I hated hearing her say the words. “I named you Mika. I don’t even remember what your name was before that. But there you were. The Oracle—she was smarter than you; she didn’t fight me—told me where you were, and they went and got you. So, Mika you were. And this one will be Isadore. When you’re ready to stop fighting me on this, I’ll let you out of this place. Oh, and Mika, if you’re counting on Titus and his crew to save you—he did fight me once he saw what I did to you—don’t hold your breath. I took his memory of the whole thing. Everyone belongs to me. You have no Guards, no one will find you, and you don’t know how long you’ve even been in here. Time moves differently. I determine it all. You’re mine, Mika. For now. And always.”
I didn’t let myself scream. She would hear. She would know. I was caught in her trap with no escape. A cold moved through me. This was what hopelessness felt like.
Gordon
The ravens were quiet today. They hadn’t had much to say in weeks, and I understood the feeling. Months without Mika. I hammered and then stopped to help Lennon hold a board up so we could nail the siding on the house.
“Are you obsessing again?” Lennon didn’t look at me as he spoke. “Because I am.”
“I always am.” Why lie when we were all doing the same thing?
In my case, it was my choice not to kiss her that I obsessed about. Why had I done that? Why had it seemed so important? I couldn’t even remember. I wasn’t hurting less without her having not pressed my lips to hers. I was hurting more. Or maybe as much. I couldn’t judge, having nothing in the universe to compare this emptiness to.
Lennon had his own constant internal monologue going on, and most of it had to do with not having listened to himself when he knew she was what he wanted, not having fought harder against the demons of doubt that pressed against him back then.
He’d known when he saw her there would never be anyone else.
I had been too busy trying not to feel anything at all. I was good at that. I stared up at the birds. Nothing.
We were Guards now, officially, with no Sister to guard. Mika… I miss you.
The gate slammed open, and through it came a person I hadn’t seen in as long as I hadn’t seen Mika. The child, Alexander.
He stumbled forward, and I was running to him in an instant. I caught him when he would have fallen. He was dirty, his clothes were torn, and he was too skinny. Where had he been? What was going on? He’d vanished when Mika did, and no one knew exactly what had happened.
We’d thought he’d gone with her until that idea made no sense. Why would they take a child?
“Alexander”—Lennon knelt down next to me—“are you okay? I’m going to get him some water.”
We’d have a crowd soon, and I wasn’t sure if that was the best thing. He breathed fast. “You’re here.”
“I am.” I carried him further into the enclosure, out of the sun. “Are you okay?”
“You made her cry. You all made her cry. And they took her.”
Neil, Ren, and Wayne surrounded us as Lennon came back with the water. I pressed some to his mouth, and he swallowed. The others would be here soon. Bryant, Thaddeus. Above my head the birds cawed.
He’s back…
They liked Alexander. I could hear the affection in their tone.
“We did make her cry.” I wouldn’t turn this all on Neil. All he had done was speak to her about the doubts we’d all given to him. This was on all of us. “And when we see her again”—I wouldn’t say if. This was a when—“I will apologize to her. Again and again until she believes me. That’s what a man does. We all screw up. We try to make it right.”
He stared at me with very grown-up gray eyes and finally nodded. “She’s months from here by train. As north as you can go to a place called Cintron. They’ve built a Sisterhood. I followed as long as I could, stowed away on the trains, saw where they brought her. I couldn’t get in, so I thought the best thing was to come back.”
“It was the best thing.” My heart was so loud I could hear it in my ears. It drummed only for her, and at last, I’d get to her. We all would.
Alexander struggled, and I set him down. The crowd I’d expected was there. Reed flew down, popping into his human form. He put his hand on Alexander’s back. “Better than I could have hoped for.”
The boy changed, his body suddenly growing into that of a man. Gasps sounded, and I was glad I wasn’t the only one in the crowd stunned. For anyone here to be surprised by magic, it had to be a very big deal.
He was… a man?
“Tell Mika I thank her for her miracles. Over and over. You, too, Teagan. You pulled that demon out of me, and then you, Anne, gave me a home. All of you. I was a little boy when I was here. Don’t be confused by that even if the rest of this makes no sense. It will, eventually.” He nodded to us once. “Go get her, brothers.”
And just like that, he was a raven, circling upward, joining the others who welcomed him, flying by him, dancing in the wind.
Welcome back. Welcome back.
Reed nodded once. “He wanted to prove himself. He did. Like someone else did once.”
Why was he staring directly at me? “What?”
“He’ll never remember it either. None of you do. Entire relationships gone with the movement of time. Go get your woman.”
Teagan shook her head. “What use am I if I can’t see these things? I didn’t know he was a raven.”
“Maybe you weren’t looking hard enough. You’re all just babies at this after all.” And just like that, he was a bird again, flapping his wings and flying away.
“Do you suppose all of us who can hear ravens were them for a while?” Noah turned to me to ask.
I didn’t have the slightest idea, and even though I might obsess over this another time, for now, all I wanted was to get going. Noah must have understood. He held up his hands. “Go.”
Neil was first to take off. We ran to collect our things. We’d spent night after night talking about just this. What we would do, and how we would do it. We didn’t have that much stuff, but we were always packed.
In under five minutes, we were ready to get in our carriage—well, Anne’s carriage—to go. Thaddeus grabbed my arm. Neil couldn’t stand
“You’ve never been to a Sisterhood other than this one. This isn’t anything like what that place will be. Half our jobs was to patrol around protecting the outskirts of the location. You can’t just walk in. Six months since you saw her and months to get there, I get that you are going out of your mind to get to Mika. Don’t be dumb. Figure out how to get in without getting caught. I don’t know about her new location, but in the old Sisterhood, Katrina was always sending out for supplies. Just a thought.”
I nodded. His intention was well meant, so that was how I would take it. “Are people routinely trying to break into the Sisterhood? I thought what they really wanted were Sisters to come out?”
He grinned. “Use that. Good luck. Bring Mika back.”
“I don’t know.” I had to be honest. “We might just take her home.”
Thaddeus nodded. “And I wouldn’t blame you for that either. Good luck.”
I climbed onto the carriage. Truth was, I didn’t really care what Thaddeus or the others thought. She was ours. We’d lost her and that was unacceptable. If I had to break down doors, maim, destroy, and burn the place down to get her out, that was what I was going to do.
I sat back. A chill cooled the air. We’d been waiting for the change in weather. I shouldn’t have been surprised that it showed up just as we were leaving. I turned around to watch the Sisterhood disappearing in the distance. I might never see it again and that was fine by me.
We’d trained from sun up to sundown, day after day until I had calluses on my palms from my swords and scars on my body from when I’d been struck. Bryant was a calm, steady person except on the battlefield. He pushed, and he never retreated. I was lucky I hadn’t lost an arm.
But I was stronger than I’d ever been.
We were going to get our Mika back.
Visit the fire, Gordon.
A raven dove down, whispering in my ear before taking back to the sky. From now on, I’d always wonder if it was Alexander.