Dust to Dust by Karina Halle
I lost the love of my life.
It was like losing life itself.
I sucked in a breath and looked to the corner of the room where the voice had come from. Standing at the foot of the stairs was Maximus, staring down at me in restrained horror.
“What happened?” he whispered, his voice cracking and barely audible.
I wanted to cry again but it seemed like I had no tears left. I just felt this resolute emptiness, this hollowness where my heart should have been, where he should have been.
The loss threatened to take over again, to drown me, but Maximus crossed the room and was crouching beside me, a hand on my shoulder, looking between Dex and me and trying to make sense of the situation. Good luck with that.
“Perry?” he said again, his brow furrowing as if he was going to cry too. “Please, what happened? Tell me what happened.”
“Where were you?” I whispered weakly.
He shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know. I…I went after Dex upstairs. He went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I knocked on the door, waited. After, I don’t know, a minute, water started to come out from under the door. I knocked the door down but he wasn’t in there. Then I heard him say my name, from behind me. I went down the hall and saw him standing in the room at the end. I went in after him. That door closed. It was dark. I thought I was in there for a minute, maybe two. I kept at the door but it wouldn’t open. That’s when I heard you, heard you screaming in my head. Then finally it opened by itself and I came out.” He paused and closed his eyes. “I followed the blood. It brought me here.”
I was too numb to even be shocked by the time skips. Time didn’t really seem to exist in this house anyway. This house didn’t even seem to exist.
“The same for me,” I said blankly. Actually, I was leaving a lot out. But what was the point in saying anything? What was the point of anything anymore? Dex was gone and I was left behind to carry on.
Death was torture for those who had to be left behind. I could only hope that Dex wasn’t suffering like I was.
“Who did this?” he asked.
I attempted a shrug and failed. Dex was too heavy but his weight felt real, reminding me that he had been real this whole time and not some beautiful dream.
“Michael, I guess,” I said.
“No,” Maximus said. I looked at him in faint surprise. “It wasn’t him.”
“Who then?”
“It was Dex,” he said. “Dex did this to himself.”
My heart clenched. “Why?” I said breathlessly. “Why would he do this?”
“To escape,” Maximus said, settling down on the ground, sitting splaylegged. His eyes never left Dex’s body. “To save us.”
“How?”
He swallowed hard. “If Michael happened to be in his body, and Dex killed himself, the spirit or the demon or whatever is in him, would have died too.”
“And if he wasn’t in him?”
“He knew he would just be taken over again.” Suddenly Maximus let out a roar, pure agony that shattered the room. He buried his face in his hands and I was struck, feeling it deep, by how much he cared for him. But of course he did. He had originally been sent to be his guide, to watch over him. And now Dex was dead. He had failed. I had failed.
When he recovered, he looked up at me and said, “Whatever Dex did, it was to save you. Save me, save everyone. But above all, it was to save you.”
“I didn’t ask for that,” I whispered.
“No, you didn’t. But that’s Dex. That man loves you so much. Sometimes it doesn’t even seem possible. He gave up his life for you and, if he could, he would probably do it again.” He sighed. “But you already know that, don’t you? You love him the same way.”
I found myself nodding. I would have done the same. I still would, if I could.
If I could.
What if I could?
I licked my lips and for the first time in a while, felt a thread of strength returning. “Maximus,” I said softly, urgently.
He slid his eyes to mine. Before he could say anything, we heard a thump from upstairs. The ceiling was once a fathomless black sky but now was just a ceiling with a broken light bulb hanging from it. It was swinging back and forth, casting moving shadows.
“Did you see anyone else in the house?” he asked, his eyes trained to the light.
Who didn’t I see? Minutes ago I wouldn’t have seen myself caring. I wouldn’t have cared what happened to me.
But that was then and this was now and now I had an idea.
“There may be spiders the size of cats,” I said absently, my mind elsewhere.
He raised his brow.
“I saw them in the Veil, last time I was in there,” I explained. “I think they snuck through.”
“Or Michael let them in,” he said. “This house is nothing but a portal.”
I swallowed and nodded. “It’s the gateway to Hell. Dex’s mother told me so.”
He narrowed his eyes. I managed a smile.
“Hey,” I said. “Do you think Dex is gone? Or do you think he’s just…” I waved my hand around the empty space in front of us. I knew I was acting delusional. “Just here.”
“He’s dead, Perry,” he said hoarsely. His eyes flitted to Dex’s body. The proof was literally in my arms, covering me in blood. Part of me died with him.
Unless I could bring him back.
Maximus was staring at me, his expression cautious. He was hearing my thoughts.
“Darling,” he said gently. “If you go into the Thin Veil, through this place, this close to the darkness we don’t understand, there is a chance you’re not coming back.”
“Maybe I don’t want to come back.”
“But you do, Perry,” he said. “You do. You want to come back with Dex. You don’t want to live on the other side. What if Dex has already moved on? If he’s not in the Thin Veil, you still may never see him again and you’ll be stuck there. Forever is a long time.”
I thought about the man with the cockroach eyes, the severed woman, the spider cats I swore were upstairs. I thought about all of them and living with them for eternity, cursed to stumble through a monochrome universe for the rest of my life.
It was worth the risk.
“If I can go in and there’s a chance I can find him and bring him back,” I told him, “then I’m taking it.”
He nodded solemnly. “I know. I just wished it wouldn’t come to this. That’s the problem with you two, I reckon. Death just seems like an obstacle sometimes. You have the false hope that you can get around anything. But Perry, some things you can’t get around. Some things are final. Believe me, you don’t want your poor sister to spend the rest of her days wanting to go back in there and fish you out.”
That gave me a pause. That was the last thing I wanted, for Ada to hunt through the Veil, looking for me, looking for Dex. I knew she’d do it, too. Her bravery surprised me more every day. But I wouldn’t let that be an issue. I would make it out and I would do so with Dex.
“Are you going to stop me?” I asked carefully, aware that the burly ginger could very well prevent me from doing anything.
He smiled. “What I really want is to pick you up and take you out of here. Giant bugs, or Michael, or worse are upstairs and they want to take us with them.”
“So why don’t you?”
He ran a hand through his red hair. “Because I owe you more than that.” He seemed to grin to himself. “And the crazy thing is, I wish I could join you.”
Then his face fell. “I went to Hell once, you know, for someone that was very dear to me. And it worked. I brought his soul back to where it needed to be. I pray you never end up there. But I understand, I really do. There are some people you would do anything for. And I want you to know that for me, at this point in my life, it’s Rose, you and Dex. If I could take your place, Perry, and go in after him, I most certainly would. But that ship has sailed for me.”
There w
“What is it?” I asked, feeling the urgency of the moment running through me. If something was coming for us, how the hell was I going to go into the Veil?
“I don’t know,” Maximus said. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t have hands because that door would open if you just turned the knob. I had only shut it behind me when I came down. You broke it pretty good.” A brief look of admiration came across his freckled face. “But I reckon we don’t have that much time to figure it out.”
I looked to him, suddenly terrified. “How do I get back to here? Last time Ada had to pull me through. Can you?”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I just don’t have the skill anymore. But you can get back, I know you can.” Another thud at the door. He looked over his shoulder and let out a shaky breath of air. “You’re going to have to hurry though. I will stop them from getting to you but I don’t know for how long.”
“No, you get yourself out of here!” I cried out. “Forget about me!”
He crouched down beside me, resting his hand on Dex’s lifeless arm that had already started to stiffen with rigor mortis. It made my stomach turn. “I have to stay here. You can step into the Veil in your physical form and disappear but Dex cannot. His body will be here. I don’t even know if he will be strong enough to endure coming back, he’s lost almost all his blood. But if anything happens to him, here, while you’re in there, he’s not coming back at all. You got that?”
I nodded and took in a deep breath. “I got it.”
“All righty,” he said holding his hands out for me. “Let me help you.”
As carefully as I could, I lifted Dex’s head off of me. Then I put my hands into Maximus’s warm ones and let him pull me up to standing position. He put his hand at my cheek and gave me a sad smile. “Well, little lady,” he said with full-on drawl. “I’ll do the best that I can. But for whatever reason, if I am not here when you get back…we’ll meet again someday. I don’t know when, but someday, some place, I’m sure.”
My heart panged again. He leaned in forward and kissed me lightly on the lips before pulling back. He winked at me. “That was for Dex, too. Now turn around and go.”
“Thank you,” I whispered to him. He squeezed my hand and then made me twirl around so I was facing the blank space on the other side of me.
“Concentrate,” he whispered. “Think about Dex.”
And so I did. I ignored the bangs at the door, the sticky blood at my feet. I closed my eyes and thought of Dex. I thought about his smile, his laugh, the way he could make me melt just by looking at me. I thought about the love he had given me and all the love I had left to give him.
I opened my eyes and let my gaze gloss over, fuzzy and out of focus. And just when the world seemed to be pulling back, I walked forward.
My ears screamed and my head felt ready to explode and the wind that blew past me was cold as ice. But when I blinked a few times and let the world settle around me, I saw I was in the grey basement of a house. There was no Maximus. There was no Dex. There was only fog that hung around my ankles and floated up the stairs.
I was in the Veil.
I was this much closer to Dex.
And this much closer to Hell.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
While the house that Dex led us to had been a carnival of horrors on the inside, in the Veil, it looked normal.
Well, sorta.
There was this blanket of fog that clung to my legs, making it look like I was walking through a soupy cloud, and though everything was desaturated, here it took on a shade of blue/black instead of grey.
It was cold though – very cold – and I had to fight the constant shiver that wanted to run through me. I had always imagined Hell would give off a bit of heat.
I walked up the stairs, pausing every other step and listening. I wondered if the giant spiders were on this side or if they had all crossed over to the other. Either way, it was bad news.
As soon as I got to the top floor, I went straight for the kitchen to get a knife. I never knew when I’d need it and this time I wasn’t going to take any chances. Could I kill something that was already dead? Well, experience told me I could. I felt like every single ghost and paranormal beast we had encountered up until this point was preparing me for this. In comparison, it had all been a walk in the park.
The moment I pulled it out from its sheath on the counter, I felt a breath tickle the back of my neck. I whirled around, knife raised, but saw no one. I paused, listening. There was a loud click click click coming from the hallway, the sound of claws on hardwood floor, only far louder than they should have been.
My pulse jumped in my veins.
I looked around the room. Here the blinds were up, showcasing the empty backyard. I was certain the door the outside would work in this dimension. I began to head toward it, trying to stay light on my toes, lest I alert whatever it was out there.
But it was too late. Just as I reached the door, I felt a terrible, heavy presence at my back. I slowly turned my head to look. A dog appeared in the hallway, standing still. It looked like a Rottweiler. It was hard to tell. It had no head.
My eyes widened at the bloody stump and though I was certain that there was no way it could see me, let alone smell or hear me, it adjusted its body so that it was facing me dead on.
I started wondering what kind of damage a headless dog could actually do when I focused on those claws. They were sharp, nearly curled under like a velociraptors, and at least as long as my fingers. They had pieces of ragged tissue and skin attached to them – I didn’t want to know how it got there.
I held the knife out, my hand shaking slightly. I didn’t have time for this. I needed to find Dex before it was too late. But shame on me for even thinking this was going to be easy.
The dog lunged for me in silence, which was worse than if it barked or growled. I screamed and went for the door, nearly dropping the knife. So much for that idea.
Thankfully the door opened with one pull and, screaming as I went, I leaped out and slammed the door behind me, putting my weight up against it until I was sure it would hold. The dog jumped up, smearing its bloody stump on the window, its claws punching through, but somehow it stayed shut.
I whirled around and started running, trying to figure out where to go. I only made it a few strides into the backyard when I realized it wasn’t a backyard at all. Though the world still had a blue tone and fog licked at my ankles, it was dispersing and faint washes of color were seeping back in.
I looked around, dumbfounded. I was surrounded by tall Douglas fir trees and cedar, a worn path in front of me snaking through overgrown salal bushes with their smooth green leaves and pinkish berries. A cold breeze buffeted me and carried the tangy smell of salt.
What the fuck?
My hair began to float around my face, carried by the wind, and I turned around to look back at the house.
It was gone.
Instead there were more tall trees, reaching for the grey sky, and below them was a bench, surrounded by a rose garden.
On that bench was a girl, wearing an old-fashioned dress, her attention focused on her hands folded neatly in her lap. She was deathly pale, frail and short. She was also very pretty.
My blood ran cold before she even looked up at me. When she did, I saw half of her face was rotting off.
Leprosy.
Mary.
Oh holy fuck.
“I knew you’d come back,” Mary said in her sing song voice. “You can never really escape.”
I gripped the knife harder. “Where am I?” I asked.
“You’re neither here, nor there.”
“Have you seen my partner? Dex?” It was worth a shot.
She grinned at me with blackened teeth and I wondered why I ever thought her pretty. “Have you seen my daughter, Madeline?” Her eyes darted over her shoulder. “There she
I turned around to see a little girl running down the path away from us.
“She’ll take you to him,” Mary said.
I didn’t know if I trusted that. In fact, I totally did not trust this woman. After everything that happened on D’Arcy island, I had no reason to. She was a murderer and a liar. And a fucking ghost.
But I also had no intention in hanging around her. I turned and ran down the path after Madeline, all my D’Arcy Island flashbacks hitting me with each step I took. I remembered what happened here and I’d be damned if I’d let them happen again.
Suddenly the path began to clear up and drop sharply to the left. I came to a stop and saw Madeline on a rocky beach below, running along it toward a lighthouse.
Not just any lighthouse. Of course not.
I sucked in my breath and watched as the burning sun in grey/blue sky began to plunge toward the sea. In an instant the sun was swallowed whole and the world around me was dark as night.
The lighthouse’s light came on, illuminating a path, just for me. By the top, where the glass went around the giant bulb, I saw the bulky shadow of a man. It wasn’t Dex and yet I knew he’d be up there, somehow. If I were to find him, that’s where I’d find him. I was seeing what I was being told to see, the Veil bending to fit my memories. I was being manipulated for a reason.
Madeline’s tiny body ran through the open door to the lighthouse and disappeared inside. I took one look behind me, afraid that Mary would appear and push me over the edge. But there was only blackness, the trees having come together so thick that they resembled a web of branches.
Only one way for me to go.
Using the silver light from the lighthouse, I picked my way down through the steep embankment, the fog clearing so I could see my feet. On the beach, the black ocean crashed close by, the sky felt wildly heavy and oppressive. I looked up, taking in what I thought were stars but weren’t stars at all.
They were eyes. Millions of eyes. All watching me from a black velvet sky.