Dust to Dust by Karina Halle
It was Dex though, I knew that much. He was alive and well and in my grasp and I wasn’t going to let him go after this. Not just because I could barely survive the twenty-four hours without him but because we still don’t know what happened to him and because of that, it was impossible to know whether it would happen again.
All I did know is that if Michael dared show his smug face again, I was ready to fight to the death. I would steel my mind. I would not let him succeed this time.
“Are you all right?” Maximus asked, but the question seemed to be for everyone, not just me. While I realized my fingernails were clawing into the palm of my hand, Dex continued to look sketchy and Ada was still a bit dazed and blank.
“Fine,” I said quickly. I was the last person anyone should worry about. I reached across the table and lay my hand on top of Dex’s and gave him a gentle look. “How about you baby?”
He flipped my hand over and laced his fingers into mine, giving it a warm, strong squeeze. He smiled, close-lipped. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been better. I’m just not sure how to make sense of anything. It’s kind of weird that the three of you know more about where I’ve been for the last while than I do.”
“It is weird,” Maximus said. His tone was light but there was a stiffness to his jaw that I wasn’t too fond of, almost as if he were questioning if Dex was telling the truth. But as excellent a liar as Dex was, I almost always knew when he was lying. He was being honest – he had no reason not to be – and was vulnerable as a result. Vulnerability was always something he tried his hardest to avoid.
Dex stared back at him, though I didn’t really see the animosity I’d come to expect from him. It was almost as if he was trying to figure out if Maximus had a right to be suspicious. Either way, he knew what Maximus was getting at and he didn’t question it.
I wanted to say something to Maximus, admonish him, but before I could Dex said, “So I guess the best thing would be to fly home. Only problem is, I don’t have my wallet – I don’t have ID. Can’t fly without that. I’d have to drive or take a bus.”
Ugh. The idea of driving from New York to Portland used to be on my bucket list, but now I wanted more than anything to just go home. I wanted to feel the Seattle rain on my shoulders, I wanted to hole up in cozy cafes with Dex and plan the rest of our lives together, I wanted to cuddle with Fat Rabbit and go shopping with Rebecca and get back to the life we’d set in motion. I wanted to enjoy being engaged.
This was not how I imagined our engagement would start off. Then again, we were Dex and Perry and our relationship seemed to thrive on the universe being out of order. Either that or our relationship actually caused the world to turn upside down. It was hard to say.
Ada’s phone started to ring. She glanced at it and then quickly excused herself to go stand outside by the door. I twisted in my seat to keep a close eye on her. We were lucky she hadn’t been IDed once we sat down at the bar, not that she was drinking more than Sprite anyway, but she was still nearly sixteen and this was a big bad city.
“I guess,” I said absently, “we could get Rebecca to send your passport over here on overnight. We could fly out tomorrow or the next day after that.” I didn’t want to stay a day longer here than we had to, but it seemed that was the only choice.
“Well, I guess there are worse places to be stuck in,” Dex said but I could tell he didn’t like the idea either. At any other time, New York would have been a dream vacation – especially since I was here with Dex and my sister. But now, it felt like the entire city was plotting against us. That was probably scooping a bit too much from the paranoia box, but still.
And for Dex and Maximus, I was sure the city was bringing about a whole flood of memories that neither one of them wanted to deal with.
Ada came back into the room and slid into her seat with a sigh, looking like your quintessential disaffected youth. “Bad news, guys.”
My pulse picked up the pace. I was certain Dex could feel it against his hand. “What?” What now?
She raised her eyes to me and gave me a dry half-smile. “Our parents are coming.”
I let go of Dex’s hand and let my own fly up into the air like a stereotypical Italian. “What? Why the hell are they coming here? They can’t do that.”
“They can and they are,” she said, repeatedly stabbing the ice cubes in her drink with her straw. “They just called, said they’d booked a flight tonight, a red eye, and will be here in the morning.”
“That’s insane,” I cried out. “Why would they do that?’
“I don’t mean to play Devil’s Advocate here,” Dex said, drumming his fingers on the table. “But you can’t really blame them, Perry.”
I shot him a look. “What?”
He shrugged. “You came after me. It’s only fair they’d come after you. I mean, maybe not if it was just you…” I glared at him but he continued quickly, “because they trust you and all. But you have their teenage daughter. And she does have things like school and stuff. Parents are big on school and stuff.”
I put my head into my hands and groaned, then looked to Ada. “You did tell them that we found Dex and are about to head home, right?”
She nodded. “I did. Didn’t make a lick of difference. So I guess we have to stay right here.”
“We don’t really have a choice,” Dex said. “No wallet, no ID. Rebecca will have to mail out my passport if I want to fly anywhere.”
I looked to Maximus. “What about you? Going to head on home to the Big Easy? I bet Rose is worried.”
Dex raised his brow, not entirely caught up on the Rose and Maximus situation. Maximus shook his head. “I’m sure you’d all love that but actually, I’m going to hang around here for a few days, until you leave.”
“I don’t believe I requested a chaperone from District Ginge,” Dex pointed out warily.
“I know you didn’t,” he said. “But I’m going to hang around all the same, if that’s okay.”
“Is there something you’re not telling us?” I asked. I briefly slid my knowing gaze over to Dex and back. “Along with all those other things you didn’t tell us?”
Maximus exchanged a look with Dex. The look said, she knows I’m an ex-supernatural babysitter man, sorry. He said to me, “No, there isn’t. But we all know that what just happened was a little too easy. One minute you’re certain you’ll never see Dex here again, the next he’s walking along the bridge in a right daze, unsure how he got there. Now, you can sweep all that under the rug and pretend that this shit is all over and believe me, I want to too. But for everyone’s sake, I’m just going to stick around and make sure you guys are all right before you fly home.”
“That’s thoughtful,” Ada spoke up. She actually sounded relieved. Or maybe she didn’t want to end up the third wheel until our parents got here.
“Just one thing though,” he said, now looking a bit sheepish. “I didn’t book a room and funds are a little tight since I flew out here and all. Think you guys could help spring for a hotel room?”
I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly. “Fine, you can stay with Ada.”
“What?” she cried out. “No way am I sleeping with Ginger Rogers.”
Dex snorted, appreciating that.
“You will sleep in separate beds, Ada,” I admonished her. “Ew.” I looked to Maximus. “No offence. But obviously Dex and I will be in the other room.”
“We’ll be just like Lucy and Ricky, Fred and Ethel,” Dex said, wiggling his finger at Ada and Maximus. “Of course, like Fred and Ethel, I’m going to assume you won’t be touching each other.”
Both Ada and Maximus grimaced simultaneously. “Lordy,” Maximus said, exasperated. “Forget I said anything.”
“It’s fine,” I said, whether it was fine to Ada or not. The truth was, even though Maximus seemed to have put on his detective hat, I was a bit relieved he’d be there with Ada. I knew he looked at her like a sister too and that he’d keep her safe. Though he may have no longer had a
Me, I was just happy to have Dex back. I didn’t dare think about what else could be lurking around the bend.
***
“This is some swanky place,” Dex commented, looking mildly around the hotel room as I closed the door behind us. “Where’s the bottles of Cristal?”
“Actually,” I told him, throwing my duffel bag on a pink leather chair, “the closest thing to Cristal is Prosecco. It’s in the mini-fridge and costs forty dollars for a mouthful.”
“Forty dollars for a mouthful? You could get more from a cheap hooker.”
I gave him a look but he just grinned at me playfully. I didn’t want to know but his comment meant he was feeling better and that made my shoulders relax a little.
He walked over to the window and peered outside, at the roar of upper Broadway below. He seemed to lapse into deep thought. I could only imagine what he was thinking.
“It must be strange,” I said. “To be here.”
He nodded slowly, biting his lip for a moment. “Uh huh. You could say that.”
I came up behind him, placing my head on his shoulder, my gaze following his down to the passing cars, metal garbage cans on the sidewalk glinting in the sun.
We stood there for a few moments, in silence. I expected his arm to go around me but it didn’t. He stood like a statue, immovable, untouchable.
After a while he said, “I’m sorry.”
I tilted my head toward him, my cheek on his shoulder. “About what?”
“About this,” he said. “About you being here. I don’t know why I walked off with Michael, why I wouldn’t have checked with you first, why I just left with Ada unconscious. That’s not like me. You know that.”
I straightened up, squeezing his forearm. “Dex. I know that, we all know that. That’s why it was so fucking scary. You obviously were going either against your will or under false pretenses.”
He didn’t react. “Or I was just so happy to see my brother again, I would have done anything he said.”
I frowned, studying him. I hated how blank and mask-like his face was looking all of a sudden. “I thought things with your brother never ended very well.”
“Yeah, well,” he said, going back to biting his lip. “They didn’t.” He closed his eyes, almost wincing. “Perry,” he said gently. “I don’t know what any of this means. Why would my brother take me here? Why would he do that to you, to Ada? What’s the point of all this?”
I didn’t say anything. He knew everything that Pippa had told me. That, and Michael’s actions were all there really were to go on.
Finally he looked at me, his eyes watering. “Baby.”
And that’s all he said. That’s all he needed to say. I placed my hands on either side of his face and leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips. I wanted more but more than that, he needed comfort.
He kissed me back and pulled away slightly, staring at my eyes, my nose, my lips. He looked so lost, desolate, but his carnality leaked back into his features. He placed his hands at back of my head, holding me steady.
“Perry, I love you,” he said, voice gruff and full of conviction. “I love you absolutely, resolutely. There is no question, no doubt. This love just is. It exists and because it exists, I exist.” He brought his face closer so that the tipoff his nose grazed mine. “When you’re my wife, I know I’ll be a good husband so as long as I never let you forget that, that you, only you, just as you are, are my reason for being.”
I swallowed hard, my heart tumbling over itself at his beautiful words. Why was he telling me this? It sounded like he was about to go off to war, it sounded like we were parting, not coming together.
But before I could say anything, his lips were on mine and he was kissing me, hard. His passion surprised me, stole my breath straight out from my lungs. His tongue didn’t need to coax me for long. Soon my surprise was melting away into want and need and feverish lust.
I had almost lost this man. I wanted, needed, to fuck him hard enough to make up for that. I know he was planning on doing the same for me.
In seconds he was pushing me back onto the bed and my shirt was being ripped over my head. He deftly got my bra off with what felt like just a snap of his fingers, his mouth and tongue knowing just how to tease and lick my nipples to make my thighs squeeze together in beautiful agony.
We made love as we always did but there was more urgency and desperation than there was tenderness. I didn’t mind. I felt like I couldn’t get him close enough. I brought him in so deep, my nails sinking into the hard curve of his ass that I was sure he’d never be able to pull away.
He seemed to feel the same. He thrust into me, hard enough that the back of my head bounced against the mattress and he moaned, long and rich. In and out he slid, his cock feeling like hard velvet inside me. His tongue was in a frenzy, fucking the inside of my mouth with wild intensity. I closed my eyes as he licked and kissed down my neck, indulging in the feeling of him wanting me, of his carnal desire and masculine strength.
“Don’t ever leave me again, baby,” I groaned as his fingers rubbed at my clit, causing the heat to build in my core like a water brought to a rolling boil.
“I won’t,” he murmured, taking my hard nipple into his teeth and tugging. God, I wasn’t going to last much longer. “I can’t. You feel so fucking good all the time, all the fucking time.”
I stared up at his hard chest, the strain of his sculpted muscles as he continued to drive into me, bringing us both home. We came at the same time, as we usually did thanks to his stamina and patient fingers, and my eyes rolled back as my body was carried away, somewhere warm and beautiful. I didn’t want it to end. I never wanted him to leave me.
Eventually though, he did and we both rolled over on our backs, breathless and sweaty in the hot Manhattan evening. While my body rode the softening waves of orgasm, I felt that warmth tingle within my chest, the one that made me feel like everything was going to be all right now. It’s funny how so much strife and distance could disintegrate after sex. It was cliché to say I always felt closer to Dex after he had been inside me, but of course it was true.
We lay there for some time, his strong, muscled arm around my shoulders, my head buried into his chest. His heartbeat was steady, telling me I was safe and that I was his.
“Perry,” he whispered, his voice throaty.
“Mmhmmm,” I said, my fingers dancing over his And With Madness tattoo on his chest.
“I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you about Maximus.”
My fingers paused for a moment, then resumed their dance, tracing the cursive road.
“That’s okay,” I said. I wasn’t lying. It wasn’t quite okay, but I also understood that Maximus’s secrets weren’t necessarily his to share.
“It isn’t,” he said. “I don’t like keeping things from you. When I found out in New Orleans, it blew my mind. At the same time, I wasn’t surprised. Maryse, you remember the haggard voodoo lady, she had called me the exception.”
I rolled over onto my stomach and rested my chin on his pec, staring up at him. “The exception?” He certainly was exceptional to me but I had a feeling that in the sack wasn’t counting for this one.
He nodded sharply. “That’s what she said. I can tell you that neither Maximus nor I agreed with that statement. From what I got out of the whole deal was that Maximus turned into a petty douchebag. But also my sleeping with his girl might have helped to soil the whole thing. But what I’m an exception for, I don’t know…”
I didn’t want to think about this stuff. I wanted my brain to remain floaty and sluggish on endorphins. I was partly tempted to put my hand under the soft sheets and bring Dex back to life again but I could also tell he wanted to talk, even though I couldn’t do anything but listen.
“Maybe that’s why your brother sought you out,” I offered quietly. “If you’re an exception, then I guess that means you’
I thought he’d laugh at the word but he seemed to mull it over. “Special,” he repeated slowly, as if he was weighing it on his tongue. “But what does that mean? And what did Michael want?”
“Maybe we’ll never find out. Perhaps he wanted something with you and he’s already taken it or figured out that you’re not as special as he thought. Maybe he just wanted to talk to you, discuss family matters, I don’t know. If he thought you wouldn’t go with him willingly, if he thought maybe we would have interfered, maybe that’s why he acted the way he did.”
He crooked his head and peered down at me through his long lashes. “Is that what you believe? That he just wanted to talk?”
I gave him an uneasy smile. “No. I looked into his eyes, Dex. He meant me harm. He meant you harm. And why you’re here in this bed with me, I don’t know. In some ways…”
“What?”
I moved my gaze to the window, where the light was turning purple and gold. “In some ways I wished I could have, I don’t know, fought for you. Brought you back. Faced him, you know? Then maybe I could figure out what this was all about. Maybe I’d know it was over instead of still going.” I carefully brought my eyes back to his. “You feel that, right?”
“That it’s not over?”
“Yeah.”
He eased himself up, propping himself on his elbows. I sat up, bringing the sheet over my hips and stomach, still self-conscious at times despite everything.
He pursed his lips. “I know Ginger Balls is sticking around for a reason. I may not agree with his mere existence on this planet, but I have to admit his intuition is pretty spot-on sometimes.”
“And your intuition? What is it saying?”
He raised his brow. “That I’m supposed to remember something really fucking important and the fact that I can’t recall anything except this vague idea of his face and voice is making me feel like I’ve fallen down the shitter and I can’t get out. It’s dark and it smells and I want to scream but I can’t because if I do, I’m getting shit in my mouth.”
“That’s a hell of analogy.”