Government Men by Gary J. Davies
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Narbando T. Bates woke to the sound of several voices in conversation, speaking so softly that he could only make out a word here and there. Reassuringly, most of the voices sounded familiar. But there were also other, less familiar sounds too, crickets, owls, and even a coyote. Coyote? He forced his eyes open with the distinct feeling that he wasn't in Maryland anymore. He saw stars, more stars than he could remember seeing for many years. Good place for astronomy, he thought; just like where he went to grad-school. Then he remembered where he was, and what he had last seen and heard!
"Fudge Winkies!” he exclaimed. The background conversations stopped, and in seconds he was surrounded by several figures, and flashlights were shining in his face.
"I told you that's what he'd say!” said Mel.
"Hokey smokes!” exclaimed Bates.
"And that was my first choice. But you win, Mel," said Oscar, as he handed a five-spot to Mel.
Suddenly, Bates' face was being licked; including the inside of the mouth he had left gaping open. He sat up and hugged Milo around the neck, and wiped his face on the blanket he found wrapped around himself, just as Carbuncle came puffing into the camp. "There he is! Bad boy Milo! Sorry Bates, he got away from us. Squirmed like a pig."
"OK, let's leave these two alone,” said Mel. Bates thought at first that Mel meant him and Milo, but then someone was lifting the dog up and away from him.
In moments there were only him and HER, for even in the dying light of the campfire, he recognized her features. "I'm sorry, Narb!” she said. "I realize that this is a terrible shock, but it is years overdue, and this was my last chance. And their last chance; and yours.”
Over the last couple of days, Bates had run this meeting through his mind a hundred times, and he thought he had prepared himself for anything, but nothing he had imagined came even remotely close to this. He was more confused than he had ever been in his life. And he hurt. He hurt bad. He closed his eyes and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, but her words kept coming anyway.
She told him how her domineering father had insisted that she marry John Williams, a rich attorney from a prominent Arizona family, instead of staying involved with a nobody science student like Bates. Her parents asserted that it would be better for her future, and that she would soon get over her summer fling.
That much Bates had suspected for years and could have accepted, but even after finding out that she was pregnant, she went ahead with the marriage to John, while knowing that she was carrying Bates' children!
Bates had been a father all these long lonely years, and he had never even known it! She had taken not only herself from him, but his children as well. His parenthood! Tears streamed down his cheeks. How many times had he dreamed of being a father? How could she be so cruel? It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense any more at all.
He wasn't aware what she said after that or when she left his side. He just eventually became aware that he was very alone. Knowing that something was deeply wrong with his master, Milo was suddenly there again too, quizzically, tentatively, licking Bates' hands and face. Good old Milo! For several long minutes Bates just sat there petting Milo, and looking up at the distant uncaring stars.
After a few minutes, Mel sat down beside them. "We've been talking to Janet, Narb. All these years she had convinced herself that you had gotten over her, and were living a happy life somewhere with someone else. We told her otherwise. That, loaded on top of the guilt she's felt all these years about the kids, and about leaving you for John...well, she's pretty upset. She had hoped that you and the kids might get to know each other over the next few days, the last days we have on Earth. Anyway, that was her agenda, but I think we need her on the Bus. After all, she knows where Dannos really is. But you're taking all of this pretty hard, aren't you?"
"I always thought she loved me Mel, deep, deep down, no matter who her father made her marry. We loved each other so much that summer Mel! I’d swear it was real! But to find out that she could do this! Crazy, stupid me, I thought maybe she really felt something for me.” He shook his head sadly. "My own children are grown up and strangers."
"Sure Bates, and she feels rotten and you feel rotten. You were right; she says she did love you and made a stupid mistake by breaking things off with you. But you lost that battle years ago. And I don't see where you've lost anything else now.”
Bates sighed. "Mel, I'm a father, and she never even had the decency to let me know!”
"True," argued Mel. "But you lost that one too when she left you in the first place. Now you even have an opportunity to get a little something back. But the kids aren't what's really bothering you, are they?"
Bates was becoming more than a little exasperated with his friend. "OK, Dr. Guthery, I give up, what is really bothering me?"
"Pretty much the same thing that's been bothering you for twenty years, Bates. You never gave her up, did you?"
"Well, sure I did, Mel!”
"Bull shit, my friend! You've just gone through the motions. You made some halfhearted attempts at new relationships, but if any other woman threatened to get close, you drove them away. You enshrined that one magic summer in your mind, Bates, made it so attractive and made yourself so dependent on just the sweet memory of it, that no real woman had a ghost of a chance. You have never really faced up to losing her so that you could get on with your life, have you? Too busy feeling sorry for yourself?"
"She left me Mel!”
"Right Narb. She gave you excellent reasons to feel hurt; but that was twenty years ago. You did the rest, to yourself! She's not perfect and made a big mistake, Bates. But guess what my friend, nobody is perfect; certainly not you! You wasted your own twenty years, not her. You could have had a wife and kids if you really wanted to. Instead you've been screwing up for twenty years, convincing yourself you still love her and she still loves you, even though she married somebody else. Until now, am I right?"
"How did you get so damned insightful all of a sudden Mel? OK, you're right; I guess you're right about everything. Now I'm not even so sure that I love her anymore.” There, he said it! And he meant it. He took a deep breath.
"Believe it or not, that's a positive step, Bates. Maybe you never can love her or anyone else again the way you did twenty years ago, but that's life. And you're right, your kids are strangers, but it doesn't have to stay that way. No matter how you feel about Janet, they're the innocent victims of this business. And they still are your biological kids."
Bates took another deep breath and looked towards the campfire. His head was still spinning. Too much was happening, too fast. It all seemed like some sort of crazy dream. His grown up son and daughter were sitting by the fire, talking to each other quietly, while on the other side of the fire, Janet was talking to Norma. The twins looked like good kids.
The massive form of Oscar Oscomb materialized out of the darkness. "Flood says he's picked up unusual aircraft search radar and a lot of radio chatter. He says we better beat it, pronto.”
Bates sighed, stood up, quickly folded the blanket, and gave each of his good friends Mel and Milo an affectionate pat on the head. He was exhausted and confused, but he knew that the Team had to move on, and so did he. There just wasn't any time to work out his personal problems now; probably there never would be. He wiped his eyes and took several deep breaths, then on unsteady legs walked over to Norma and the Garbs, who were still gathered around the fire.
"We have to get to the Bus right away," he announced.
"Narb," said Janet, "I had hoped the four of us could spend a few days here and get acquainted.”
Bates looked as resolute then as his friends had ever seen him. "Sorry Janet, we just don't have time. We have a mission.”
Janet's face was lined with strain. "Dr. Guthery says you need me to provide you with astronomical information on Dannos?"
"That's right Janet. We really do need you.” Their eyes locked, and for a moment Bates’ stern deme
Smiling, the twins ran excitedly to their tents and threw stuff into duffel bags. Thanks to modern tent technology, the tents were packed as well in seconds. Janet stood watching them, a tear running down one cheek.
"Don't you have things to pack, Janet?" asked Mel.
She shook her head, smiling. "No, I think I have about everything I need.” She was carrying a large purse-like bag.
Bates put an arm around the shoulders of each of his kids and walked them towards the Bus. "We'll have to do this family reunion on the fly, pun intended. You guys ever been to space in a bus before? By the way, what the heck are your names, anyway?"
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