Magic and Other Misdemeanors by Michael Buckley
Tom shook his head. “It won’t be long now,” he said as his yellow eyes grew bright and clear. The dark spots on his skin faded and his stringy arms and legs grew lean and muscular.
Cindy rushed to him and stood as close as the energy swirling around him would allow. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I love you, Doc. I have always loved you, and I always will, but I am only a man and you are an Everafter. My body is withering away. I’ve grown too feeble to even take you on a picnic or dance to our wedding song. In no time at all I would have been gone. You will never die, Cindy. Now, neither will I.”
Cindy cried out to him to stop, but her eyes were filled with wonder and possibility. “I love you.”
“You better, Cinderella, ‘cause now you’re stuck with me forever,” Tom said as he stepped down from the black portal. The blue energy that had once enveloped him was gone, as were his wrinkles. He was no longer old. Now he was young, strong, and handsome. He didn’t look a day over twenty-five. He took Cindy in his arms and kissed her. “It’s over, darling.”
But Tom Baxter was wrong. The dragon flying overhead let out an angry roar and a series of flaming assaults. The first one hit the transmitting tower, and it fell over like a child’s toy. Its steel girders melted into liquid and poured all over the roof. Everyone scrambled to get out of the way. The next blast from the dragon missed them and hit a parked car on the street below.
“Uh-oh,” Daphne said as the magic detector began to shimmer again.
“What?” Sabrina asked. “Is something else coming through the hole?”
Before Daphne could answer, Tom was violently yanked backward to the edge of the black tear. He squirmed to break free but couldn’t. Worse still, the hole began to grow at an alarming rate, along with its gravitational pull. The black tear was no longer satisfied with leaves or loose paper; it was pulling at everything.
“Boys, what’s going on?” Tom called to his assistants.
Malcolm, Alexander, and Bradford stumbled back in fear. “We didn’t do this!” Alexander shouted.
“Can you pull yourself free?” Cindy said as she rushed to her husband. He shook his head. She reached up and took his hand, desperately trying to pull him off the hole’s edge, but she wasn’t strong enough. She even lost a little gold bracelet as it sailed off her wrist and disappeared into the void.
“I guess it’s not going to let me go,” Tom said, forcing a little laugh. “Honey, you might be married to a teenager pretty soon.”
Cindy turned to the family. “Do something!” she begged.
Uncle Jake was already fumbling through his pockets. He pulled out one trinket after another, examined them, and shoved them back into his jacket. “I don’t think I’ve got anything that can stop this.”
“Any suggestions?” Sabrina asked her grandmother. Granny’s handbag was already swinging toward the hole.
“Perhaps the three of you should go down to the street where it is safe.”
“Aww, I want to see what happens,” Puck complained.
The fallen tower began to roll toward the time hole. Canis grabbed Granny and the girls and leaped over it as it rushed toward them like a stampeding rhino. Luckily, Uncle Jake was not in its path and Puck simply rose into the air to avoid it. A second later the entire transmitter was sucked into the tear.
Unfortunately, as Puck rose off the ground he found himself trapped in the black hole’s gravitational pull. He flapped his wings hard in an effort to escape, but there was nothing for him to grab onto. He drifted closer and closer to the emptiness with nothing to stop him. “Uh, we’ve got a problem,” he said.
Sabrina grabbed his foot as he passed, but she too was pulled up. “Help!” she yelled. Daphne latched on to her as well and soon the three of them were right below the massive hole in time.
“Children!” Granny cried as she held on for dear life to the side of the building.
But she was too far away to be of any help, as were Mr. Canis and Uncle Jake, and slowly Puck began to drift into the blackness. His face and upper torso were soon gone, then his waist and finally his knees. All that was left in this world of the boy fairy was his sneakers, which Sabrina clung to with all her strength.
“I’m losing him!” she cried in desperation. “Puck, you have to fight it!”
Without warning, the hole quadrupled in size, threatening to swallow the entire building. From inside it something unexpected appeared—an enormous house sitting on top of two grotesque chicken legs. The house pushed the children back through the hole and blocked most of the suction pulling everything toward the time tear. But it wasn’t Baba Yaga inside. Sabrina could see her older self hovering in the window. When the house cleared the horizon of the hole, it planted itself on top of the radio station’s roof. The door flew open and the older Sabrina, Daphne, and Puck ran out. The older Granny Relda wheeled herself out behind them.
“Dear me,” Granny said as she studied the strange visitors.
“You’ve got to close this hole!” the older Daphne shouted as she raced to her younger self. Sabrina studied her; there was something different. She still wore Uncle Jake’s coat, but the scar that had once marred her beautiful face was gone.
“How?” Daphne asked.
“Destroy the machine!” the older Granny Relda shouted over the raging storm.
Sabrina raced over to Malcolm, Alexander, and Bradford. They had lost control of the wand, which was floating on its own and still showering the vial of water and the clock with its power. Sabrina tried to grab it, but there was a shock and her hand felt like it was on fire.
“Don’t touch it, child!” Tom shouted. “If you destroy it, you’ll reverse the process.”
Daphne reached for the vial of water with similar results. She cried out, which caused Cindy to look back at the girls. When she saw the pain in Daphne’s face, it seemed to open her eyes to the rest of the chaos. Without a word, she picked up the Wonder Clock, lifted it over her head, and brought it down hard on the ground. It splintered into thousands of pieces. The wand suddenly stopped firing and the wind disappeared. Tom fell from the surface of the hole as it began to shrink.
“Cindy! Why?” he cried, though his voice sounded weak and tired.
“I don’t need you to be young,” she said as she stepped over to him and caressed his face. Sabrina could see he was returning to his normal age. His strong arms and legs had returned to feebleness and his back stooped.
“I did this so we could be together.”
Cinderella looked into his eyes. “Then so be it,” she whispered, and her body began to age as well. Her long blond hair turned white, wrinkles weaved across her perfect face, and her delicate hands became gnarled.
“Cindy, no!” Tom cried. “You can’t go back. If you age you won’t ever be young again.”
“What would life be without you, my prince?” Cindy said, her voice rough and crackling. “When we say our good-byes I want to be by your side.”
Sabrina’s attention turned to the future Puck, who stepped up to the younger one. “Hello, Trickster King,” he said.
Puck gaped at his older self.
“Try to be nicer to Sabrina,” the grown-up Puck said with a chuckle. “She’s going to be important to you in the future, and trust me, she’ll never forgive you for gluing her head to that basketball.”
Puck grinned. “I never glued her head to a basketball.”
“You’re giving him ideas!” the older Sabrina said reproachfully.
Mr. Canis and Granny Relda stepped forward. Granny seemed stunned by her older self, but Canis walked up to her and took her hand.
“It’s good to see you, old friend,” the older Granny said.
“I know what happens, I just don’t know when,” he said.
“You don’t have a lot of time left,” the old woman said before breaking into a coughing fit.
“How do I stop it?”
“You can’t,” the future Granny Relda said. “I’m sorry.??
“All right, folks, the hole is getting pretty small,” the older Puck said. “If we are going home, we better get going.”
“Those with me, get back in the house,” the future Daphne said. “The rest, get down.” Everyone did as they were told. Then the older Daphne fired a wand into the air. It got the attention of the dragon, who made a beeline for the house. The older Daphne turned to little Daphne and smiled.
“There’s big things ahead, girl. You’re going to have to grow up a little,” she said.
“I’ll try!” Daphne called back.
Her future self darted into the house with her companions, and the house lumbered back into the black hole. The dragon roared, launched another ball of fire at it, and then disappeared into the abyss as well. A second later, the storm was gone and the hole in time closed in on itself.
Sabrina’s twelfth birthday was embarrassing. Granny Relda made a big deal out of it, forcing her to wear a funny hat that read BIRTHDAY GIRL!
Daphne gave Sabrina her princess tiara. Uncle Jake gave her a new pair of sneakers. Mr. Canis, who was now wearing a bandage on his wounded eye, bought her a little portable radio for her room, and Granny showered her with clothes and a new bicycle. Puck left a box on the kitchen table with her name on it. Inside, she found a basketball and a tube of industrial-strength glue with a note that read IT’S COMING WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
“Where is the freak baby, anyway?” Sabrina asked.
“In his room pouting,” Granny Relda said. “He’s not at all happy about his current growth spurt.”
“Is he sick?” Daphne asked.
“No, he’s growing up,” Granny said.
“And if you think he’s a pain now, wait until he starts getting pimples,” Uncle Jake said.
Prince Charming also attended the party, indulging in Granny’s German Chocolate Cake. There was music, laughter, and happiness, which had been in short supply as of late. It seemed as if their recent troubles with taxes, Mayor Heart, and Nottingham would soon be distant memories.
There was a knock at the door. “Who can that be?” Granny said.
“That’s Sabrina’s birthday present,” Charming said. Sabrina was surprised. “You got me a birthday present?”
“Go answer the door,” he said.
A million ideas raced through her mind. What could the prince have gotten her? She threw open the door and was a little startled to find a strange woman standing on the porch. She was thin with brown hair and a pale complexion. Her lips were full and her eyes green. She wore a little black dress, pearls, and high-heeled shoes, and she oozed sophistication. Sabrina knew only one person that was more beautiful than this woman and that was Snow White.
“Are you Sabrina Grimm?” she asked.
Sabrina nodded.
“My name is Bunny Lancaster,” she said. “William sent me.”
“OK,” Sabrina said, a little dopey. “Are you my present?”
The woman cocked an eyebrow. “I’m not sure what you mean, dear.”
Charming appeared at the door. “Bunny, thank you for coming. Please come in.”
The woman entered and the family gathered around her.
“Mrs. Grimm, this is Bunny Lancaster,” Charming said.
“I know who she is,” the old woman said coolly. Sabrina had never seen her grandmother react that way to anyone. Where was the smile? Where was the sweet hello?
“Are you an Everafter?” Daphne asked, rushing to shake the woman’s hand. She had her own palm prepped and ready to bite.
Bunny nodded.
“Which one?” Daphne asked, barely able to contain her excitement.
Bunny shifted uncomfortably. “In some circles I have the rather unfortunate title of the Wicked Queen.”
Daphne went for the bite but then stopped. “You mean the one that tried to kill Snow White?”
“I didn’t try to kill her,” Bunny said softly.
“Well, Mr. Charming. Thank you for the birthday present, but you shouldn’t have. Really, you shouldn’t have,” Sabrina said.
“I know this is uncomfortable, but Bunny is here to help you,” Charming said.
“Help me?”
“Take me to your mirror,” the Wicked Queen replied.
“Uh, I’m not sure what you mean,” Granny stammered.
“Mrs. Grimm, I am fully aware that you possess a magic mirror,” the woman said impatiently. “I also know that Snow voluntarily gave it to your family nearly a hundred years ago. I would like to see it.”
Granny glanced at Charming, who nodded as if to say Bunny could be trusted. Then she took out the set of keys from her handbag and led the group upstairs. She unlocked the door to the mirror’s room, and everyone stepped inside. When the door closed, the roaring began.
“WHO DARES INVADE MY SANCTUARY!” Mirror’s violent face filled the reflection.
“Control yourself,” the Wicked Queen said.
“Bunny? Is that you?” Mirror asked.
There was a raw silence between the two. They shared an angry and uncomfortable look.
“What a pleasant surprise,” Mirror said, forcing a smile to his face.
The Wicked Queen stepped forward. “Mirror, Mirror can you tell, how to break the sleeping spell?”
“Right down to business, Bunny? Very well, a kiss is all it takes,” Mirror said.
“That’s not what I asked, servant,” the woman said sternly. Sabrina bristled at the way the woman was talking to her friend. Mirror shifted, obviously taken aback by the queen’s rude tone.
“Bunny, I—”
“Mirror, are you arguing with me?”
“No, I’m—”
“I asked you a question.”
“And I answered it,” Mirror said.
“No, you did not! Any fool knows a romantic kiss will break a sleeping spell. Do you think I don’t know it? I invented this spell. I also know that there is always a back door. What is the back door?”
“I’m not sure what you mean?”
The Wicked Queen’s right hand began to glow red. Its intensity was blinding and heat came off it like the fireballs the dragon had shot at them the night before. “Mrs. Grimm, your mirror is defective. Allow me to fix it for you.”
“Wait, what are you planning on doing?” Sabrina shouted.
“The repairs will not harm the contents, but this sorry excuse for a guardian is damaged. I take great pride in my work, and I should have fixed it a long time ago.”
“Bunny, don’t do anything you’ll regret!” Mirror said.
“You pompous, ridiculous little joke,” the Wicked Queen said as she placed her red hand on the surface of the mirror. “It’s not like I’m going to kill you. You don’t exist. You are a creation, a puppet, a shadow of a person. Your job is to serve your master, and you are failing. When a question is asked you are to answer it clearly and thoroughly. You need to be repaired.”
Mirror cried out in pain.
“Leave him alone!” Daphne shouted.
Angry clouds began to gather around Mirror’s head. “You are not my master.”
“Every walking and talking person in the world is your master,” Bunny said quietly. “I created you. I know what the rules are. Now, I’m going to ask you again and this time I want you to give me a thorough answer. Mirror, Mirror, can you tell, how to break the sleeping spell?”
Mirror curled his lip and looked embarrassed. Sabrina wasn’t happy either. Mirror was her friend and she didn’t like strangers being mean to her friends. She was fully prepared to step between the two of them when the Wicked Queen took her hand off the mirror’s reflection, leaving a bright red handprint that quickly faded away. As it disappeared, so did Mirror’s face, and another image replaced it. Sitting in a café on a cobblestone street was a blond woman with short, curly hair. She was sipping coffee and writing in a journal as a waiter in black pants and a white apron tried to get her attention. He smiled at her and said something funny, but she seemed to be in her own li
“There’s your answer,” the Wicked Queen said.
“Who’s that?” Daphne asked.
“Goldilocks,” Uncle Jake whispered.
“Goldilocks,” Granny repeated.
“Goldilocks indeed,” Bunny said, eyeing each member of the Grimm family suspiciously. “It seems as if she has found a way out of our happy little town. Lucky, lucky girl.”
“Bunny, I appreciate the help,” Charming said as he escorted her out of the room.
“Is she the one Dad was in love with before he met Mom?” Sabrina asked.
Granny shuffled her feet.
“Tell her, Mom,” Uncle Jake said. “It’s her birthday.”
“Well, is she the one?”
Granny nodded. “Yes. Now, let’s say good-bye to our guest.”
Everyone piled out of the room except Sabrina. Mirror’s face appeared in the reflection. He looked as if he had just been in a prizefight. “Starfish—”
“Have you known all along?” Sabrina said, her voice trembling with anger and hurt.
Mirror shook his head. “No. That’s not how it works. I don’t know anything.”
“Were you keeping it from us?” She felt like a volcano bubbling over with emotion.
“It’s hard to explain, Sabrina. If the question isn’t specific, the answers don’t come to me. I’m not omnipotent. I’m just a magic mirror, and I do what I was made to do. Ask a question. Get an answer. If I had known there were more answers, I would have told you. Bunny forgets that I wasn’t one of the deluxe mirrors. I was the first, the test product. She forgets she didn’t give me all the bells and whistles she gave the others.”
Through her anger, Sabrina could hear the pain in Mirror’s voice. It made her feel sorry for him, and her rage faded away. “It’s OK,” she said. “There is nothing wrong with you. Don’t let her get to you.”
Mirror looked as if he might cry. His face faded from the reflection.
Sabrina looked down at her mother and father, still slumbering soundly in the queen-size bed in the center of the room. “Now all we have to do is find Goldilocks,” she said.