Rock Chick Regret by Kristen Ashley

Finally I stopped him. “It means I’d have to see Ricky again.”

  He kept silent. I closed my eyes. Then I clenched my teeth.

  Then I opened my eyes and, do not ask me why, I shared.

  “I can’t, Hector.” It came out as a whisper. “I want to press charges but I can’t.”

  He let me go, his heat left me and a burst of cold hit me, shaking me out of the stupor induced by all he’d said, all he’d done, all that everyone had done.

  But he didn’t go to the window again. He took my hand and walked me to the couch.

  Then (no kidding) before I knew what he was up to, he sat down, his hands went to my waist, he pulled me into his lap and his arms went around me.

  Then he said softly, “You can do it Sadie, I know you can.”

  He was wrong.

  I shook my head. “I can’t.”

  “You fed me information on your father.”

  “I know.”

  “You risked your life to help that investigation.”

  “I know.”

  “How can you do that and not do this?”

  I shook my head again. “I don’t know.” And I didn’t.

  Hector stared at me and I looked at him.

  Then I had to say something just so he wouldn’t think I was an utter coward.

  “I’m not a total wimp,” I assured him, trying to shake the uneasy feelings beginning to crawl along my skin that I was talking about this with Hector of all people. “I have a plan. See, if I don’t press charges –”

  Hector broke in, didn’t even try to listen to my plan. “You can’t play with these guys.”

  “But –”

  “Sadie, mi cielo, you know it far better than I do. You play with these guys, you’ll lose.”

  I felt the telltale lump hit my throat. I swallowed. It didn’t work.

  I swallowed again. It still didn’t work.

  Then before I could stop it, to my horror, I started crying.

  Really! Where was my Ice Princess? Why did she come along when she wasn’t wanted and disappeared when I needed her? She was beginning to really annoy me.

  When the Ice Princess didn’t show, with no other choice so he wouldn’t see me cry, I shoved my face in his neck.

  He dropped to the side on his back taking me with him. He rolled us and then we were lying on the couch, me snug between the heat of him and the soft back of the couch.

  One of his arms held me close at the waist; the other hand cupped the back of my head and held my face to his throat.

  “Let me take care of you,” he whispered through my sobs.

  “Okay,” I whispered through my sobs too, too tired to fight it anymore.

  “I’ll come get you tomorrow, take you to the Station.”

  I took a ragged breath.

  Then even though it scared me, I agreed. “Okay,” I repeated.

  “Eddie’ll be there. You want Ralphie there or anyone else –”

  “Bex,” I said immediately.

  “Bex?”

  “She’s B… Buddy’s f…f…friend. He introduced me to her,” I said but it took a long time because my voice kept hitching. “She works at a rape c…c…crisis center.”

  Hector’s arms went tighter. “Okay, we’ll call Bex.”

  “And Daisy,” I went on.

  His arms tightened further and I snuggled in closer.

  “And Shirleen,” I said though I had no idea why.

  “Shirleen?”

  “She seems like a nice lady,” I explained to him but also to myself.

  “She is,” Hector said quietly.

  We laid there and Hector held me. This went on for a long time.

  I knew I should put a stop to it. All of it.

  But I didn’t.

  How bizarre was that?

  Finally, once the tears were subsiding, I called, “Hector?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why do you want to take care of me?”

  His body went still for a few seconds then he kissed the top of my head. “We’ll save that for another talk.”

  I didn’t think I wanted to have another talk with Hector. This one didn’t go so well for me.

  I found out he knew I was his informant (which was kind of embarrassing). I found out he’d been tracking me and doing more to protect me than he and his buddies sitting in cars outside the house. He totally didn’t listen when I explained why we wouldn’t work. And he got me to agree to press charges against two of the Balducci Boys, blowing my plan out of the water and playing my ace in the hole way faster than I intended.

  No, this talk didn’t go well for me.

  Still, I was getting kind of sleepy, tears always exhausted me and a big old crying fit like that did me in.

  Furthermore, I was full of Blanca’s food.

  Lastly, but most importantly, Hector’s heat and closeness made me feel warm, snug and safe and I hadn’t felt warm, snug and safe in forever.

  So, instead of protesting the very idea of another talk that also could go very badly for me, I said, “Okay.”

  Then I snuggled even closer, not even caring what I was doing and doing it because I liked to feel Hector’s arms go tighter and then tighter until he was holding me super close.

  And once I was super close, snug, warm and safe in his arms, I fell asleep.

  Chapter Eight

  Man of the Month

  Sadie

  I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the muscular column of a man’s throat.

  As this didn’t happen to me every day, I thought it best to take stock of my surroundings.

  I was in the living room on the couch and I was wrapped up in what appeared to be Hector. Although I kept my eyes trained on his throat, it couldn’t really be anyone else.

  By wrapped up, I meant that his arm was draped around my waist, my arm was draped around his waist, my top leg was thrown over his thigh, his leg was cocked between my legs, my other hand was flattened against his chest and the rest of me was pressed up close to the rest of him.

  Oh my.

  Somewhere along the line someone had thrown a blanket over us. His body was warm, the blanket was keeping in his warmth and I felt ultra cozy.

  Memories of the night before flooded my brain and my coziness exited my body like a shot.

  I needed to get the heck out of there, pronto. I tilted my head back to assess his consciousness. The minute I did, his chin dipped down and he looked at me.

  Well, that answered that question, he was awake.

  “Hi,” I said for lack of another opening.

  His face warmed and it dawned on my somnolent brain that he looked good when he woke up, especially his warm, sleepy, black eyes.

  Oh my again.

  Before I could think of anything else to say or do, his face started coming toward me and, all of a sudden, he was kissing me.

  Yes, kissing me.

  In the morning. On the couch. Tangled up with me.

  For a nanosecond, I thought I’d pull away but then I realized how much I liked his lips on my lips. Then the kiss deepened and I realized that I seriously liked his lips on my lips but I liked his tongue in my mouth even better.

  So I kissed him back.

  This time it wasn’t filled with urgency and fire. This time he was taking it slow, making it sweet, building the burn.

  I liked it.

  I liked it so much, I pressed closer to him and his hands started moving on me.

  They weren’t urgent either, not invading, not demanding. His touch was light, soft and it felt really, super good.

  That made me press closer, my hand dipped under his shirt and I felt his skin at his back. His heat was immense, his skin was smooth and I felt the hard muscle under it.

  I liked that too. I liked it so much I wanted more of it. I liked it so much I would give my entire trust fund to get more of it.

  “Mornin’ kids,” we heard Ralphie say.


  My body froze, Hector’s mouth broke from mine and he looked in my eyes.

  “Who’s for coffee?” Ralphie went on and didn’t stop. “Buddy’s hangin’. Tied one on last night so you’ll have to make do with Breakfast a la Ralphie.”

  I lifted my head to look over Hector’s shoulder and saw Ralphie disappear toward the kitchen, wearing his robe and scratching his behind.

  I settled down and stared at Hector, torn between laughing, crying and panicking.

  “We just got caught making out on the couch,” I informed him on a whisper as if he hadn’t been present at the event.

  “Yeah,” Hector agreed, his lips doing that fighting-a-grin thing again.

  Then it happened. I kind of exhaled sharply, through my nose and unable to control it I pressed my face in his throat and started to giggle. Within seconds, I was beyond giggling straight to laughter, my body shaking with it.

  Hector rolled to his back, taking me with him so I was on top. The whole time, I kept laughing.

  Later, when I was kind of laugh-hiccoughing, I lifted up, my forearm on his chest, my other hand coming up to wipe my eyes.

  “That was funny,” I told him, eyes rolled to the ceiling, swiping underneath my right one.

  “I can see,” Hector said.

  I looked at him. He was grinning but I realized belatedly he hadn’t been laughing.

  “Didn’t you think it was funny?”

  “Mamita, it was funny but I’ve never seen you laugh like that before. No way in hell I was missin’ the chance to watch that.”

  My stomach pitched at what he said and I was left speechless, the smile dying on my face.

  “And there it goes,” he mumbled, watching my mouth.

  “Do you laugh a lot?” I asked but for some reason I didn’t expect him to answer. Maybe because it was kind of a personal question.

  His arms were around my waist and he gave me a small, affectionate squeeze.

  Then to my surprise, he answered, “On a scale of one to ten with one being Sadie and ten being Indy, I’d say I’m at about a five.”

  “Does Indy laugh a lot?”

  “All the time.”

  My body, which had gone tense, relaxed and I smiled at him.

  “That’s good. I like her,” I told him. “She’s nice. She deserves a life of laughter.”

  Mr. Mood Swing’s face grew dark and his voice sounded angry when he asked, “And you don’t?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “It was implied.”

  I thought about what I said then my eyes narrowed in confusion. “I didn’t imply that either.”

  “Wasn’t it you who stood in this room last night tellin’ me you didn’t belong with ‘my people’, sayin’ you were Seth Townsend’s daughter and that’s the reason you didn’t belong?”

  “Well, I am Seth Townsend’s daughter.” And I was!

  “Tu padre was drug dealer, you were a drug dealer’s daughter. You can’t pick your father. No one blames you for the choices he made. You did the best you could with the hand you were dealt.”

  I tried to rewind our morning from kiss to now to see where we went awry but Hector gave me another squeeze and the rewind hit pause. This squeeze was affectionate but it was an annoyed affectionate.

  “Your lot in life is not payin’ for what your father did. You got a different lot in life, you chose your path the minute you started feedin’ information to me through that drawer.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “That means a lot of girls livin’ your life wouldn’t make that decision if it meant they couldn’t live in big houses, wear designer clothes and drive expensive cars.”

  I blinked at him. “Hector, I don’t know if you know this but I do have a trust fund.”

  “You got three million dollars in a trust fund. That is not gonna give you the kind of life you lived with your father.”

  He was right, of course. Three million dollars was a lot of money but my father was worth loads more (before the Feds seized it, of course).

  This was all making me a bit uncomfortable so before I could think better of it I blurted, “Can we go back to the jovial, fun-loving portion of the morning?”

  He stared at me, still angry for a minute then his face cleared and he blew out a sigh.

  “Wish you’d picked the tongue in my mouth, hand up my shirt portion of the morning.”

  I kind of wished I picked that too.

  He gave me another squeeze, I caught his grin and I realized that now he was teasing me.

  My stomach did another pitch.

  “Sweet ‘ums, I know you’re going for the world record for longest date in the history of man but we have paintings to sell so we can pay on our Z Gallerie credit card,” Ralphie said from the door to the kitchen.

  Hector and I turned our heads and looked at Ralphie.

  “I don’t have a Z Gallerie credit card,” I told Ralphie.

  “Yes, but I do. Come on you two, up and at ‘em.” Ralphie clapped his hands. “Chop chop.”

  This time, I blew out a sigh.

  Hector did an ab curl, I came up with him, ended up on his lap, he stood and set me on my feet. I realized then I was shoeless and Hector was bootless.

  “How did my shoes get taken off?” I asked, staring at my feet.

  “Buddy and I woke up Hispanic Hottie when we got home,” Ralphie said. “Well, Buddy did, he was being really loud. Anyway, I got Hector a blanket, he took off your shoes and that’s all I saw. I had a hunk a burnin’ love to get to bed before he hurled on the hall carpet.”

  I looked at Hector. “I slept through that?”

  Even though I asked Hector, Ralphie answered, “Like a baby.”

  I was a light sleeper; I’d wake up at a kitten’s mew. How could I sleep through that?

  “Come on, I made coffee and I’m thinking toasted brioche with marmalade. Yum-a-licious!” Ralphie went on.

  “Thanks but I have to go,” Hector said and Ralphie’s eyebrows went up.

  “Have you had brioche?” Ralphie asked.

  “No,” Hector answered.

  “You don’t want to miss brioche,” Ralphie advised him.

  Hector threw Ralphie a smile and then turned to me. His arm went around my waist and he pulled me gently to him so our sides and parts of our fronts were touching.

  His head bent to mine, he gave me a quick kiss and he looked into my eyes.

  “I’ll go home, shower, change. I’ll call Eddie and Shirleen. Shirleen’ll call Daisy. You call your friend Bex. I’ll come back and take you to the Station. Tell Bex to meet you there in two hours,” Hector told me.

  Oh no.

  In all the goings-on, I forgot I promised him I’d go to the Station.

  I opened my mouth to say something but Ralphie got there before me.

  “The Station?” he asked.

  Hector’s eyes swung to Ralphie. “Sadie and I talked last night and she’s agreed to press charges against Ricky and Harvey Balducci this morning.”

  I watched as Ralphie’s face went pale and his hand came up to hold onto the doorjamb. His reaction alarmed me and my body went tight in preparation to go to him.

  Before I could move, Ralphie breathed, “He’s going to pay?”

  I felt the tears hit the backs of my eyes just as I saw them shimmering in Ralphie’s and heard the tremor of feeling in his voice.

  “He’s gonna pay,” Hector said.

  Ralphie blinked, got himself together and took his hand from the doorjamb.

  “You… are… a… miracle worker!” he announced to Hector. “You are officially Ralphie’s Man of the Week. No! Man of the Month! I’m making you a certificate!”

  I felt Hector’s body start to shake with laughter as Ralphie charged into the room.

  “Go! Do your business. We’ll get Sadie ready,” Ralphie said, grabbing my hand, yanking me out of Hector’s arm and pulling me toward the hall.

  I looked behind me as Ralphie pulled me away and s
aw Hector leaning down to pick up his boots.

  When he straightened, his eyes came to me and still grinning he said, “I’ll be back in an hour.”

  My heart was beating and I was scared out of my mind. In the cold light of day, I was not sure about this pressing charges business.

  But the only thing I could get in before Ralphie dragged me into the hall was, “Okay.”

  * * * * *

  Hector, Buddy and I walked into the Station.

  Ralphie had gone to Art to open up.

  After Hector left, Ralphie woke up Buddy and shared the news that I was going to the Station. Buddy (according to Ralphie) jumped out of bed “lickity split”.

  Buddy spent the morning gulping down copious amounts of ibuprofen mixed with acetaminophen with the addition of caffeine in his coffee. Still, he looked like hell but Buddy didn’t have a shift that day (thus, him allowing himself to tie one on last night) and Ralphie informed me there was no way “on God’s green earth” I was going to the Station without one of them with me.

  While I showered, drank coffee, ate toasted brioche with orange marmalade and did my hair and makeup, Ralphie picked out my outfit. It was as Queen Ice as you could get.

  Winter white, plain front, light wool trousers with wide legs and a cuffed hem. This was paired with a winter white, silk, tailored blouse. For contrast, Ralphie added a slim, ice-blue belt and ice-blue, 50’s-style, ultra-pointed-toed, pencil-heeled, sling-backed pumps. My ensemble was completed with a winter white, Italian leather, tailored blazer, my diamond studs and diamonds-in-platinum tennis bracelet.

  Pure ice.

  Hector held my hand as we walked into the Station, Buddy (still looking peaked), on my other side.

  In the lobby were Daisy, Shirleen, Luke Stark and a big man with light brown hair and a muscle-bound frame. In fact, one look at him and I was certain sure that God had seen fit to give this man twice as many muscles as other men were granted.

  Daisy rushed to me the moment she saw me. “You okay?” she asked.

  “I’m scared to death,” I answered.

  Hector squeezed my hand.

  Daisy grabbed my casted wrist and held on. “Ain’t no one gonna hurt you, not here, not again. Comprende?”

  I nodded.

  “We’re gonna be right here, you won’t be alone,” she went on.