Rock Chick Regret by Kristen Ashley
His arms got tighter and my hand slid up his chest to his shoulder. My other hand joined it on the opposite side and I tilted my head back further. He watched me a second, that second turned to two then to three.
Then his face lost some of its rage (though, not all) and he promised, “You will be.”
My stomach pitched.
His arms got tighter and I watched, fascinated, as the rage disappeared from Mr. Mood Swing’s face, warmth replaced it and his head dipped closer.
“Agent Chavez, oo Agent Chavez?” he teased, grinning.
I closed my eyes.
Please, somebody, kill me.
He gave me a gentle shake.
I opened my eyes.
His mouth went to my ear and he murmured, “I’ll look forward to hearing that.”
Before I could retort, his head came around, he touched my lips with his, let me go then he was gone.
I stared at the door.
Shirleen appeared at my side. “I tell you, six weeks ago, you asked me to take my pick, I woulda picked Luke. Now I’m thinkin’ I’d like me a little piece of that boy.”
“Shirleen!” Ava exclaimed on a giggle.
Shirleen looked at Ava. “Your boy’s still hot,” she assured her.
I looked at Ralphie.
He was smiling at me. I smiled back.
Then I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing.
* * * * *
“So, have you gotten a mi amor yet?” Indy asked, her hip up against her father’s kitchen counter, a cup of coffee halfway to her mouth, a dishtowel slung over her shoulder, a grin playing at her lips.
“No,” I replied and put the last dried glass away. “But I’ve had a mi corazón.”
“Oo, a mi corazón,” Indy smiled.
“What’s this?” Ally asked, putting her palms on the counter on either side of her and pulling herself up to sit by Indy.
“Spanish endearments, Sadie’s graduated from mamita to mi corazón,” Indy told Ally.
“What’s that mean?” Roxie asked, coming to the group after putting some leftovers away and closing the fridge with her foot.
“She’s gone from ‘babe’ to ‘my heart’,” Indy answered.
I saw Ally’s dancing eyes moved to me. “Chickie, you are in trouble.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered.
They all laughed.
* * * * *
We’d had dinner at Tom’s.
By “we” I meant Lee and Indy, Hank (Lee and Ally’s older brother, he was very nice and they all looked alike, tall, dark and gorgeous) and Roxie, Ally, Tom, Hector and me.
Then after dessert, Tom pulled out the photos.
There were loads of them.
I knew he went out of his way. Some of the photos were really old, from back in the days when my Mom was in high school. He must have been up in his attic for hours.
I wanted to try to pretend the pictures didn’t fascinate me but I couldn’t.
I remembered my Mom as sweet and loving but also quiet and subdued. The photos showed a different Mom, laughing and smiling and full of life. I couldn’t help but pour over them and even laughed when the others told stories. Lee, Indy, Hank and Ally didn’t remember my Mom but they had funny (and slightly crazy) stories to tell about their lives while they sifted through other photos. Tom, however, did remember my Mom and he had funny (and slightly crazy) stories to share about her, Katherine and Kitty Sue.
There was one photo I stared at for longer than the rest. It was of the “whole family” (as Tom called them) but, for some reason, my grandmother was in it too.
My grandfather had died before Mom married my father. My father’s parents were, as he described for as long as I could remember, “dead to me”. However I knew when they both died within a year of each other when I was a freshman at Denver University. My Mom’s Mom died when I was three.
I had no memory of my grandmother but the photo showed her holding me, my Mom’s arm around her, Kitty Sue and Katherine close to them, Tom and Malcolm close to their wives, kids scattered around their legs.
My grandmother and Mom had their foreheads together, faces tilted down, smiles huge as they looked at me.
Tom noticed my attention to the picture; he leaned toward me and whispered, “You can keep that one.”
I should have said no, it wasn’t polite to take it but I didn’t say no. I looked at him, knowing my eyes were moist and nodded. Then I slipped it in my purse the first chance I got.
Not much later, the women went to the kitchen to do the dishes and I heard male laughter in the dining room as I heard female laughter all around me in the kitchen.
Dinner, the trips down memory lane, the laughter… it was nice.
But it was scary.
It was scary because I could get used to it.
* * * * *
“So, how are things going with you two?” Ally asked, eyes on me.
“Who?” I asked back.
“Who?” Ally repeated on a grin. “You and Hector, you idiot.”
Me and Hector.
Oh my.
How to explain? Impossible!
So, I shrugged.
“Come on, give,” Ally pressed.
“I’d give,” Roxie whispered to me. “She’s relentless.”
I put my hip to the counter on the other side of Ally and sighed. “They’re… good,” I tried.
“Good?” Indy asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
“That’s boring,” Ally muttered.
“Maybe Sadie needs boring,” Roxie said to Ally.
“No one needs boring,” Ally retorted.
“Maybe Sadie does,” Roxie defended my need for boring.
Ally’s eyes came back to me. “Do you need boring?”
I looked at her a second then shared, “I have to admit, I could use some boring. But when I say things are good, I didn’t mean they were boring.”
“What did you mean?” Indy asked and they all leaned forward.
I briefly debated my options.
I could go Ice Princess and tell them nothing (which they were probably not going to accept, nobody was paying the least attention to my Ice Princess anymore). I could tell them everything (which would take all night). I could tell them what was going to happen when Hector and I got back to his place (which might be embarrassing). Or I could tell them about the tattoo.
I told them about the tattoo. When I was done, they all stared at me.
Then Roxie breathed, “Oh… my… God.”
“I’ve just decided Lee needs a tattoo,” Indy declared.
“No!” I burst out. “If you say something to Lee then it might get back to Hector.”
Ally jumped down from the counter, put her arm around my waist and started to guide me to the dining room while Indy and Roxie followed.
“Learn fast, sister,” Ally said. “Nothing stays a secret in this clan for long. And that tat is way too good to stay a secret.”
Well, wasn’t that just great.
We entered the dining room and I went back to my seat by Hector.
After dinner, during the photo orgy, he’d done the scooting my chair close to his move. Now he was lounging with his arm along the back of my empty chair. I had no choice but to sit in it with his arm still there.
The minute I did, it curled around my shoulders and he got in close.
“Ready to go?” he asked softly in my ear.
No. No, I was not ready to go. No, I was not ready to go to his house and have him put his mouth between my legs.
Well maybe I was ready to go and do that since it was almost all I thought about all day (except, of course, my fucking father and also the photos but it was mostly all I thought about).
I didn’t think about it in an “Oh my God no way I can do that” way. I thought about it in an “Oh my God I can’t wait and I hope I don’t mess things up again” way.
However, I did have one matter of business I still needed to attend to be
I’d had an idea and I had to get the wheels in motion before I headed off to Crete because I wasn’t going to be going alone. So I put my latest plan into action.
I turned to Hector and said, “I need to talk to Lee.”
Hector’s brows went up.
“Why do you need to talk to Lee?” Ally asked from across the table. being nosy again and also loud.
Lee heard his sister, his head turned and his eyes came to me. “You need something, Sadie?” he asked.
Oh boy. It was now or never.
“Do you have some time to talk at your office, maybe tomorrow?”
At this point, Lee’s body turned to me but his eyes flicked to Hector before coming back to mine.
“I’m right here, we don’t need to be at the office,” he replied on a (very handsome) smile.
“Well, it’s kind of business,” I told him.
“Business?”
“Yes.”
“What do you need?” he asked.
“I need you to find my mother.”
The air in the room instantly changed, it went supercharged with something I didn’t understand.
The women were all looking at each other in confusion. The men were looking at each other with closed, set faces.
This I did not take as good.
I forged into the crackling silence. “You find people, don’t you?” I asked Lee.
His eyes had locked on Hector but they came back to me and he nodded.
“Well, my Mom disappeared and I thought, maybe, you could find her.”
“Sadie –” Hector said from beside me.
“I’ll pay,” I threw in, just in case Lee thought I was asking for a freebie.
“It’s not the money, Sadie, it’s –” Lee started but Tom interrupted him.
“Tomorrow, we’ll meet,” Tom surprised me by announcing (and inviting himself to come along) and everyone’s eyes swung to him. “Four o’clock, Lee’s office,” Tom looked at Lee. “Be sure Vance is there.”
I looked at Tom, confused as to why he’d want Vance there when Hector said in a weird, low voice, “Tom.”
I turned to Hector. His face was blank but his eyes were active and I was sensing something unsettled in him. This I did not take as good either.
“We’ll talk,” Tom went on and I looked back to him. “I’ll be there, Lee, Vance, Hank, Eddie and you,” Tom said to Hector.
“And me,” I put in and Tom looked at me.
“And you, Sadie,” he agreed.
“Thank you,” I said to Tom.
My expression of gratitude made every man in the room look uncomfortable and every woman in the room look at me with concerned eyes.
This alarmed me. Like, loads.
“Is there something I should know?” I asked Tom.
“Tomorrow, four o’clock,” Tom replied.
“Yes, but –” I started.
“Four,” Tom said firmly but gently.
I pulled my lips in, wanting to push it. But he’d gone out of his way with dinner, photos, giving me the picture.
So instead of pushing it, I said, “Okay.”
Hector pushed his chair back. “Time for us to go,” he announced.
Oh my.
All thoughts of the weird conversation flew out of my head as Hector pulled me out of my chair.
I tried to give Tom a handshake but he refused it and instead gave me a hug. The hug exchange continued throughout the rest of the group, including Hank (who I barely even knew!).
Then Hector led me out to the Bronco, helped me in, got in the driver’s seat, turned the ignition and we were away.
My overnight bag was in his backseat.
My knees were shaking.
My skin was tingling.
My stomach was in not entirely unpleasant knots.
Blooming heck!
Chapter Fourteen
Sadie’s Gift
Sadie
Hector dropped my overnight bag by the door in his bedroom, walked to the side of the bed and turned on the light.
His eyes came to me. “You need anything?”
I tried to think of something I needed.
Courage? A single personality that knew who she was and what she was about rather than multiple ones who had no idea what they were doing? The true ability to rewind my life and go back to the minute my father was shipped off to prison and move, right then and there, to Crete rather than waiting for my life to unravel and bring me to this scary pass?
“No,” I answered.
He started to empty his pockets, dropping stuff on the nightstand.
In a nervous panic, I leaned over and unzipped my overnight bag.
I grabbed my pajamas (white camisole, multiple pastels in plaid on white background drawstring bottoms, more of Buddy’s trip to Victoria’s Secret) and my toiletries case.
“I’m just going to use the bathroom,” I muttered to my bag and took off, out of the room, down the hall, to the bathroom.
Keeping my mind purposefully blank, I changed, pulled my hair in a messy ponytail on top of my head, brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on moisturizer (though, makeup-free was likely not the way to go for the evening’s festivities but, as I mentioned, I was keeping my mind purposefully blank thus, obviously, was not thinking clearly as was not thinking at all and instead acting on autopilot).
Then I looked in the mirror and allowed myself a moment to think about it in other words, I gave myself a pep talk.
“You can do this, Sadie,” I whispered in a barely-there voice so Hector couldn’t hear me talking to myself. He probably already thought I was totally crazy after my Ice Princess Diatribe that morning, I didn’t need him to hear me talking to myself, he’d have me committed.
I took a deep breath and continued my pep talk. “This is what normal girls do. They sleep with men. They enjoy it. Well, sometimes they enjoy it, if it’s good and the guy knows what he’s doing.”
I was getting off track so I blinked at myself in the mirror, shook my head and got back to the matter at hand. “Anyway, it’s natural, it’s right. And this is Hector and you’ve wanted this since the minute you saw him and I’m pretty certain sure he knows what he’s doing. At least I hope so.”
I stared at my image until I semi-believed myself. Then I pulled in my breath, straightened my spine, lifted my chin, turned out the light and went back to the bedroom.
Hector was stretched out on the bed on top of the covers, back up on all the pillows, legs out, ankles crossed. He was wearing his dark-gray thermal and plaid, cutoff pajama bottoms. The TV was on and a game was playing.
My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him relaxed on the bed. I decided not to think about it (again!) and took in the room.
The clothes hamper was now devoid of clothes. The bed was made and it looked like there were fresh sheets on it. Hector’s boots and shoes had disappeared. The closet door was closed.
He’d cleaned the room!
“You cleaned the room,” I blurted before I could stop myself.
Hector’s eyes moved from the TV to me. “No,” he replied. “This morning, when you and I left, we left my mother in the house.”
My eyes went wide. “Blanca cleaned your room?”
Hector’s gaze went back to the TV. “She meddles,” was all he said.
“But…” I started, stopped then finished, “you’re a grown man.”
He looked back to me and his mouth was doing that fighting-a-grin thing. “You wanna tell Mamá what to do? Tell her to mind her own business?” he asked.
I thought about telling Blanca what to do.
Then I thought about telling Blanca to mind her own business.
Then I shook my head fervently.
He let the grin loose then said softly, “Come here, Sadie.”
With nothing for it, regardless of my knotted belly, skipping heart and shaking legs, I went to the end of the bed and crawled up it
When I got to within reaching distance, his hands were on me and he rolled me so my shoulder and head were resting on his chest again. He put his arm around my midriff this time and…
And…
And nothing.
I laid there. Hector laid there.
Still, nothing.
What was going on?
“Hector?” I called.
“Yeah?”
What did I say now?
Oh, blooming heck.
“I thought we were going to, um…” I couldn’t finish.
“We were going to. Until I asked you at Tom’s if you were ready to go, your body got rock solid and I knew you weren’t ready. So, we’ll wait.” His arm did a squeeze and his voice got softer. “I’m thinkin’ you need more time to get used to me. I’m okay with that, mamita, take all the time you need.”
Someone, please tell me that he did, actually, just say that.
Again, before I could stop myself, I lifted up, dislodging his arm and twisted toward him. He had the remote in his right hand resting on his abs. I slid it out, found the off button, twisted to the TV and flicked it off. Then I turned toward him again, reached across him and put the remote on the nightstand.
Then I pulled breath in through my nose, put my hand on his chest and looked in his eyes.
They were staring at me with that warm intensity.
I bit my lips, let them go and whispered, “I think I’m pretty used to you.”
I watched the warm intensity in his eyes turn fiery hot and without hesitation he did an ab curl, both of his arms went around me and he twisted, me landing on my back and him landing mostly on me.
His head was up and he was still staring at me.
“You sure?” he asked quietly.
No, I was not sure.
Still, I nodded.
That’s when he kissed me.
The kiss was hot, hard, wet and urgent.
His hands were not. They were on me, over my camisole, non-invasive, light and sweet.
The two put together were nice, my belly unknotted and happy tingles started to slide across my skin.
His mouth broke from mine and slid down to my chin, along my jaw and he touched his tongue to the skin just below my ear.
Then he whispered some stuff to me in Spanish, I didn’t understand any of it except maybe one word, “preciosa” (which could only mean one thing, couldn’t it?).