Silver Silence by Nalini Singh
That doesn't equal disloyalty. Hunter had always had a strong personality. Our aunt Ada was also against the measure, and none of us would ever question her loyalty to the clan or to Grandmother. Because to harm Silver was to harm the line of succession Ena Mercant had personally put in place.
Agreed. But we have to ask these questions, Silver. No matter how much it may hurt.
Arwen only ever betrayed his emotional nature with those he knew would never use that nature against him. Even now, with Silence having fallen and the empaths a power in the PsyNet, he kept his own counsel much of the time.
Today, Silver found herself asking something she hadn't to this point. Have you made friends with other Es, Arwen? People who understand how your mind works and who can help you decompress? She was a vault with Arwen's secrets, would protect him to the death, but she'd always been tied to Silence.
Her brother didn't answer for a long time.
Chapter 27
I'M SLOWLY BEGINNING to do so, he said at last. I've formed a growing friendship with an empath named Jaya who works out of the Maldives, as well as a Russian empath named Ruslan. But they both know me only as Arwen, an E of no particular lineage.
I understand. Sometimes it was difficult to gauge if a person wanted a Mercant for the Mercant's skills or personality, or if it was about gaining access to the Mercant network. The latter was how it had begun with her and Kaleb, but their relationship had undergone a fundamental change years ago.
I'll tell them the truth, Arwen said. But not yet, not until our friendship is secure, and the fact I'm a Mercant won't change it either way.
The good thing is that Jaya is completely apolitical--she probably won't have any reaction to my last name except to ask if my family treats me well. A sense of a smile in Arwen's voice, something he rarely betrayed on the psychic plane. Her family is like ours, very close-knit.
According to Jaya, they're also half-crazy, but in a good way. Arwen sounded confused about the latter--he clearly needed further exposure to StoneWater bears. Her mate is an Arrow who I've been avoiding because he'd undoubtedly dig up my family connections. He is very protective of her.
Arrows and empaths, it was becoming a familiar pairing, the most dangerous predators in the Net protecting the most vulnerable Psy of all. Or perhaps, Silver suddenly thought, it was the other way around: Es using their ability to love to pull the Arrows out of the blood-drenched shadows in which they'd lived for so long.
What about Ruslan? she asked, making a mental note to check up on both Es to be sure they were no threat to Arwen. Is he apolitical, too?
Ruslan cares mostly for very old things. He's an archaeologist. I can see him asking for access to our archives to track down an old artefact, but he won't reach for power through me.
Good.
"Who're you talking to?" Valentin's deep rumble of a voice, his hand touching her nape in a blatantly public caress before he took a heavy rope of lights and passed it up to a bear on a tall ladder.
"My brother." Silver's fingers curled into her palm, the urge to touch Valentin coming up against decades of Silence. "How did you know?"
"I have secret psychic powers." A wink, no hint of sadness.
Silver gave in, touched her hand to the beat of his changeling heart. "Are you all right, Alpha Nikolaev?"
Amber eyes locked with her own, his body motionless, the power of him a leashed force. "Why do you ask, Ms. Mercant?"
"I see your hurt," she said, forcing herself to be blunt. "I sense the pain in your clanmates."
The amber didn't dim. "Maybe I'll tell you one day." Valentin tugged on a strand of her hair that had come loose when a light caught on it. "But you'd have to be mine for me to share clan secrets."
Silver's heart kicked. She had a sudden vision of a life where she walked into Denhome every day . . . and slept every night in the protective warmth of Valentin's arms.
You must survive first.
The cold reminder came from the part of her that had grown up conscious of the ticking time bomb in her head. It was currently encased in the remnants of Silent ice, but what would happen when the ice melted?
"A mating bond," she said. "It's a formidable psychic connection." A number of Psy, most famously Sascha Duncan and Faith NightStar, had survived dropping out of the PsyNet when they mated with changelings. Something had to be giving their brains the necessary neural feedback.
Else they'd have died within minutes of disconnection.
"It's a bond of the soul." Valentin's voice. "It's a leap of faith."
Silver broke the eye contact, her hands busy on the lights she'd already untangled. Some leaps of faith, she thought, shouldn't be made--not when it put the other party at risk.
This world needed Valentin Nikolaev's big heart and wild spirit.
She couldn't tell him the darkest truth yet, focused on another. "That bond cuts Psy from the PsyNet."
Valentin's frown was in his tone when he said, "You sure?"
"Without a doubt. Mating with a changeling--an alpha or one of his closest people at least--pulls the Psy into what must be a changeling neural network of some kind." Shutting down all access to the psychic highways of the PsyNet.
"I have too many responsibilities in the Net to abandon it," she added before deciding she no longer wished to talk about the harsh realities that lay between them. "I've had minor tactile contact with other members of your clan today without any repercussions. We can continue our physical experiment tonight, this time skin to skin."
Valentin groaned. "Now I have a hard-on," he accused with a scowl.
Feeling the faint edges of an emotion that might have been self-satisfaction, Silver answered the question he hadn't asked but that blazed in his eyes. "Yes, I'm certain it won't hurt me. The minor touches have primed my body for more intimate skin privileges. I may even chance being naked while you--"
"You're deliberately messing with me now, Starlight," Valentin interrupted bad-temperedly. "I'll get my revenge. Just you wait."
Toes curling inside her shoes, Silver said, "Tell me of your new clanmate."
Valentin accepted the change of topic. "He knows he's clan, knows his alpha accepts him: bear cubs need that knowledge to feel secure, feel happy."
Glancing up at the change in his tone, all aggravation and sexual heat lost, Silver glimpsed the shadows that danced across his face, knew once again that StoneWater's secrets were painful ones for its alpha to carry. "It's about family."
Valentin had no need to reply, his response manifest in the way he interacted with each member of his clan and in how his clanmates responded to him.
Valentin was the heart of StoneWater.
Her phone alarm buzzed at that instant, alerting her that she had to return to her work.
Silver turned off the alarm, saw the raft of messages waiting for her. Yet she didn't want to go, the depth of her reaction a silent indicator of how far her Silence had crumbled in a dangerously short time. "I'm the director of EmNet," she reminded herself. "Lives hang in the balance."
Valentin's hand shot out, tugged her against him. She landed with both her palms on his chest, a gasp of air rushing out of her lungs. The kiss he pressed to her lips had shouts going up all around them . . . and her mind threatening to short-circuit.
But she was Silver Fucking Mercant. She could handle a kiss.
Even if it threatened to melt her bones.
Illogical. Irrational.
And yet . . .
He was pure brawn and heat against her, his lips firm, the stubble on his jaw abrasive, the tongue he licked across the seam of her lips bluntly aggressive. Silver should've been put off by that bluntness, but when had she ever been put off by Valentin? Her breasts ached, her blood pumped, and when he scraped his teeth over her lower lip as he released her from the kiss, she felt her eyes flick open, and only then realized she'd closed them to savor the sensations.
Grinning, Valentin ran one hand down her back, lower, squeezed.
"I know you like me, Starlight. Just admit it." He clasped her hips with the rough care of his hands, raised his voice. "She likes me, right?"
"I dunno . . ."
"Looks like she wants to fry your brains . . ."
"But that's normal for a woman with a bear . . ."
"So . . ."
Ignoring the dubious comments, Valentin pointed at Silver. "All your dances are mine tonight, moyo solnyshko."
"We'll see," Silver said, because the man who'd kissed her was an alpha bear who had to be kept on his toes.
*
IT took her far longer to finish her work than she'd anticipated. Lenik called her in a panic--a Silent panic, of course--because Kaleb had asked him to handle a business matter with which Lenik had zero experience. Neither had Silver when she first started as Kaleb's aide, but she'd been able to lean on the experience of her grandmother, who'd talked her through the complicated steps.
Lenik, by contrast, came from a family that was by no means united. He was alone in a way Silver couldn't comprehend. "There's no need for stress," she said in a calm tone. "Here's how you do it." Connecting with him telepathically using her greater psychic reach, she walked him through the process.
Later, when he came to her and asked her to double-check his work, she did so.
You're far more competent than you give yourself credit for, Lenik, she said, impressed by how quickly he'd absorbed the new information. Be confident in your work.
I never expected to be at the forefront, he admitted. I'm fine when you deal with Kaleb, but dealing with him on my own . . .
Silver was starting to realize that might be an issue they couldn't solve. Lenik was highly intelligent. He spoke seven languages, had a memory that was near-eidetic, and mathematical skills that surpassed hers, but what he didn't have was the self-assurance necessary to deal with a man of Kaleb's power and demands.
Would you be willing to work under another? It wasn't a question she'd expected to ask, since Lenik was otherwise so well suited to the position of senior aide.
His answer was immediate. Yes, but I don't know if Kaleb will accept anyone else in the position.
I'll speak to him. She'd already decided that she couldn't keep her position as Kaleb's senior aide while running EmNet. Both positions suited her, but EmNet was the one that stretched her more now--it was so new and unformed that she was literally laying the foundations as she went, building it from the ground up.
Making a mental note to speak to Kaleb about the senior aide position, she ended the conversation with Lenik, then began to scan the applications that had come through for positions on her team. Though she'd been exhausted last night, she'd placed the ad before she logged off. The recent series of events had brought home to her that she couldn't continue to run EmNet with only an assistant.
In an effort to be transparent and open to all voices--because Valentin was right about EmNet needing to be seen as impartial--Silver hadn't asked for recommendations from the various powerful groups. Rather, she'd placed the job advertisement through major news organizations around the world.
The ad requested that people with various specialist skills apply for a position on the EmNet team, those skills including: administration, coordination of resources, experience managing food supplies and water networks, engineering, and other knowledge that related to disaster relief.
The caliber of the people who'd already sent in applications was extremely high, and they came from across the racial spectrum. One in particular stood out--a human engineer who'd led a military search-and-rescue unit for over a decade, but who could no longer do the work because of a debilitating spinal injury that had left him without the use of the right side of his body.
She'd have to dig deeper into his work history before she decided, but for now, she put him at the top of the list of candidates. Someone with that depth of experience could run entire operations from a remote base.
Silver.
Kaleb's voice was midnight in her mind, immediately recognizable. Sir.
I've just received a call from your building manager. She needed to contact you and said she'd lost your personal number.
Silver felt her brow furrow in a physical response to the information. Thank you. I'll follow up with her. How did she get through directly to you? It was Lenik's job to be a wall through which inconsequential items did not cross.
Sahara is helping Lenik deal with incoming matters, and she thought it might be something important. A short pause. It appears I need at least three people to replace one Silver Mercant.
Silver took the opening. You need to get another aide. Lenik is very good at what he does, but he doesn't want to be at the forefront.
You mean he thinks I'm the bogeyman. Kaleb's tone was as difficult to read as always. I have someone in mind, he added. I'll have you interview her if you're agreeable, see if she's competent enough to take over.
Of course, sir. She should've known he'd be two steps ahead. Kaleb Krychek hadn't become the youngest Councilor ever by standing back and letting events overtake him. When would you like the interview to take place?
It can wait until your safety is assured. Lenik is doing far better than I expected, and Sahara doesn't mind juggling her duties with the empaths with assisting at the office.
She likes being with you, Silver said, and it was the most intimate thing she'd ever said to her boss. I apologize, sir, she said as soon as she realized what she'd done. I overstepped my bounds.
I think, Silver, you've earned the right to say what you want to me. And call me Kaleb. You're no longer my senior aide. You're now the director of EmNet, the world's biggest humanitarian organization.
After Silver ended the conversation with Kaleb, she leaned back in her chair and considered the changes in her life over the past months, culminating in her attempt to discover if she could exist beyond Silence. Even now, her mind strained, listening. Nothing. No breaches. Her shields were intact even as her Silence fractured.
But this was only the start. A touch. A kiss. Affection.
What would happen when Valentin ran those big hands over her naked body?
Chapter 28
Bears have big bodies and big hearts. No one can ever argue otherwise. But there is a school of thought that says these big, blunt, gorgeous, and often aggravating creatures are the most sensitive changelings of us all. It's hard to hurt a bear . . . but if and when you succeed, their pain is enormous.
--From the March 2078 issue of Wild Woman magazine: "Skin Privileges, Style & Primal Sophistication"
VALENTIN RETURNED TO the infirmary an hour after his previous visit. Once again, he found his tiny clanmate sleeping tucked up against his mother's chest, his father's hand on his back. Neither party objected when Valentin picked up the child and--having stripped off his T-shirt as he came in--placed the child against his own bare skin. The baby opened his fist against Valentin's skin, and the fragile new thread inside him, the tug that told him this was one of his clan, grew infinitesimally stronger.
The baby's pulse was so fast, his skin so soft, his bones so fragile. Valentin held him with utmost care, his alpha's heart pounding in joy and fear both. Joy because this was a new member of his clan, a new clanmate to love. Fear because the cub was so very small, so vulnerable. His bear rose to the surface, a powerful beast. Nothing and no one would harm this child so long as Valentin drew breath.
What of the others?
The children who weren't in Denhome, the ones who were far from their alpha's protective arms.
He set his jaw, knew what he had to do. It was the same thing he'd been doing since the terrible day that had shattered StoneWater and left a permanent bruise on Valentin's heart. He'd swung by for a reconnoitering visit early this morning but hadn't made contact.
That was about to
Pressing his lips to his newest clanmate's forehead, he murmured to the cub that he was home, that he was safe, that his alpha would permit nothing to happen to him. The boy was in a deep sleep when Valentin handed him back to his parents. "I'll be out of the den for a while," he told them, stroking his hand over Moira's hair, his other hand on Leonid's shoulder.
"If he becomes unsettled, Stasya, Petya, Pasha, or Yasha should be able to soothe him." Bear newborns needed significant contact with their alpha during the first days of life--but if the alpha wasn't available, a strong pack dominant could take his place for a short period.
Moira's eyes grew wet when they met his. "Bring them home, Valya." It was a heartbroken whisper. "I don't like it this way. It's not right."
Her mate's voice was more serrated, less forgiving. "They made their choice. They chose to blame Valya for something that has never been his fault."
Squeezing the other man's shoulder, Valentin said, "The adults made the choice. Not the cubs."
Leonid shuddered, blew out a breath. "Chert." He took his mate's hand. "Go hug them for all of us."
Valentin left the infirmary only to feel an immediate tug toward the tech chamber, which was slowly becoming Silver's personal domain. Nobody--not even their resident tech expert, Pavel--was worried about the takeover. StoneWater bears were good at a lot of things but most didn't particularly like computer work; they figured if Silver liked it, they could ask her to do things they were supposed to be doing.
Valentin didn't resist the temptation to go to her.
She had on a headset, was having a rapid-fire conversation that seemed to be about the movement of food across borders. A flood, he figured out. There'd been a flood somewhere and people urgently needed clean water. They'd get it because it was Silver Mercant doing the work. He shouldn't interrupt her, but he couldn't leave without letting her know, didn't want her to think she wasn't important to him.
She looked over her shoulder at that moment, a silent question in the crystalline clarity of her eyes. After walking across the rough stone of the floor, he ran the knuckles of one hand over her cheek, then picked up her unlocked organizer and typed in a note.
Heading out for a few hours. Be back in time for the party. Don't dance with anyone else.