Silver Silence by Nalini Singh
"She was the retired alpha of a small clan to which StoneWater has blood ties," Valentin told her. "She stepped in to shepherd StoneWater after we lost my father 'in a terrible accident'--that's what we told everyone, what the rest of the world believes."
He exhaled in a harsh gust. "Only the clan knows that my father was executed by his seconds--he was so strong it took all of them working together to contain him. Even Zoya was only told the truth once she became alpha and had pledged to keep our secrets. Her term was to run just until a new alpha came of age."
"Sergey had to know it would be you." Valentin's dominance was a force of nature.
"I think he hoped he was wrong, that I'd only be a second to another bear." He stared ahead, his shoulders rigid. "In the darkest depths of night, I wonder if Sergey is right, if I'll turn one day, become like my father."
"That's not a possibility." Silver had never known anyone more honest, more centered, more earthy and true. "I feel you inside me, Valentin Mikhailovich Nikolaev, and I'm trained to know the mind. There is no darkness in you." Bad-tempered and arrogant and aggravating he might be, but beyond all that, he was purest light.
Hands fisted between his knees, Valentin's tone was bleak when he replied. "I look like him. I sound like him. Half of me comes from him. And we can't be certain his degeneration wasn't organic."
"The other half comes from your mother." When he still looked defeated, a look that simply did not belong on his face, she allowed her anger to color her tone. "What would you do if you felt such a vicious darkness begin to wake in you? If you felt murderous compulsions?"
"I'd end me," Valentin said without hesitation. "I'd protect my clan by taking the threat out of the equation."
"There's your answer." It was the same answer she'd have given had their positions been reversed.
Amber eyes glowing in the muted light of the room. "Why do you see so clearly?"
"We all see clearly when we haven't lived the pain--and what I see is that I need to kill Sergey."
Looking distinctly alarmed for a man who was twice her size, Valentin scooped her up into his lap. "Was the stabby poet a direct ancestor?"
"Traced back in an unbroken line," Silver confirmed. "Tell me what this Sergey looks like."
"I don't think so, Starlichka, not when you're looking so bloodthirsty."
"He hurt you." No one was permitted to do that. "Now tell me where he lives."
"Bozhe, but I love you." Valentin kissed her.
Still coldly furious on his behalf, she kissed him, drank in his laughter. And all the time, the noise continued to grow in her head.
*
THE next day, Silver managed not to track down and kill Sergey. She also worked a full day despite the pounding in her temples, and she returned to Denhome at a reasonable hour. Given the high caliber of applicants and the fact she might soon be out of commission, she'd sped up the hiring process of the EmNet team. She'd spent the day interviewing and had sent through the first three names for Trinity approval before she left the office.
The approval came through as she reached Denhome. She'd expected as much: She'd chosen one human, one changeling, and one Psy. All, as it turned out, the best people for the job. That they covered the racial spectrum had simply made it difficult for anyone to object. She'd need more than three people, of course, but these three were experienced enough to cover her absence during her healing . . . or if the operation didn't succeed.
She made the calls to the applicants from the car, then told them she was going to run them through a mock disaster scenario. That took an hour, and by the end of it, she was certain beyond any doubt that they'd be able to fill in with the help of her assistant. Everyone would be told that she'd been diagnosed with the beginnings of a cancerous tumor. That wasn't a death sentence if treated at once--no one would be concerned if she was unreachable for a few days after the op, and only available remotely for several weeks afterward.
Valentin, who she knew had gone out to see the young healer in Sergey's group, found her at the table where she was eating dinner with clanmates who'd also driven back in from jobs in the city or who'd just finished their shifts in work within the clan.
Putting one hand on Pavel, who was seated next to her, Valentin shoved the other man aside without the least semblance of politeness. Pavel made sure to grab his bowl of dessert as he moved--giving his alpha a grunt of welcome at the same time.
Valentin sat down, his thigh and shoulder pressing against Silver. In the middle of passing a platter to a clanmate across the table, Silver didn't immediately respond.
"Hey, pay attention to me." Valentin closed his hand over the back of her neck.
"Subtle, Valya," the dominant across from them said with a roll of her green eyes. "Bears really know how to court a woman."
As Valentin grumbled at the older woman, Silver said, "I prefer bluntness. Subtle emotion is more difficult for me to read."
The other woman's laughter was full throated. "In that case, you chose your man well. If he ever does subtle, the world might end."
Silver thought of the shadows of memory she'd glimpsed in Valentin's eyes, of the determined cheer that hid the deep sadness at the heart of StoneWater. Bears, she thought, could be far more subtle than the reputation they liked to foster.
Waiting until the others had returned to their conversations, she put her hand on Valentin's thigh under the table. Heavy muscle clenched under her hand, Valentin's gaze limned with amber. "You feel exhausted," she murmured, sensing him through the mating bond.
He closed his hand over hers, rubbing the pad of his thumb over her skin. "Our bears are trying to deal with the fact we're about to lose a chunk of our clan. I have to be there for them." No hesitation in his tone at taking on so much emotional weight. "How was work?"
"I have the beginnings of a team." She told him about the three she'd hired, including the partially paralyzed human male who'd previously held the military rank of sergeant. "I've appointed him as my deputy. You were right--my mock scenario showed we'll have no difficulty communicating in an emergency. All of us simply need to wear earpieces so we have direct access to one another."
"I'm always right," her brash bear said with familiar arrogance, but his next words were a rough whisper against her ear, potent with emotion. "And you?"
"Holding on." She hadn't heard back from Ashaya Aleine, but then she hadn't expected to--she was asking the scientist to come up with a quick solution to a highly complex problem.
Placing his hand on the back of her neck again, Valentin tugged her closer. "Have you spoken to your grandmother?"
"No. But I will--when we have a course of action." She leaned into him, knowing that, to the bears around her, such affection was nothing unusual. To her, it meant far more--something Valentin alone would ever truly understand.
"Ena is tough."
"Even the tough can break."
A sudden commotion at that instant had Silver jerking around to look behind her. Valentin was up and running toward the sentry, even as the woman pounded into the center of the Cavern. Whatever words were spoken, Silver didn't hear, her audio telepathy drowning her in a sudden, painful crescendo of noise that couldn't augur anything good. It passed quickly, but the sentry had finished speaking by then.
Valentin's reaction, however, told her all she needed to know: a shudder tore through him, his eyes closing for a long second before he opened them again and said something to the sentry that sent the woman racing back out.
Chapter 37
VALENTIN'S EYES SEARCHED for her, met hers. Their bond flared deep inside her. And somehow, she knew what he was about to say, though he wasn't a telepath and she would never breach his shields. At that instant, the psychic form of an alpha bear filled her to the brim, her skin feeling as if it were coated with luxuriant fur, her hands powerful beyond compare.
Hands on his hips and eyes amber, Valentin shifted his gaze to speak to a clan that had gone unusually silent. "Our clanmates are co
A moment of utter motionlessness before everyone exploded into action.
When Dima clambered up to sit next to Silver, quickly followed by three other cubs of a similar age, she decided to assist by keeping them amused and out of the way. Even as she drew the cubs into a logic game, however, she kept an eye on the entrance to the Cavern. It wasn't the entrance to Denhome, but it was the heart of this sprawling place, and it was where Valentin stood waiting.
He shot her a speaking look minutes later, holding out his hand.
"Stay here," she said to the cubs in a tone she knew they'd obey.
She was standing by Valentin's side when the air changed. Everyone went quiet, the frenetic activity coming to an abrupt standstill. Suddenly looking down at her, Valentin said, "Don't kill Sergey."
Silver narrowed her eyes. "I'll decide once I hear what he has to say."
The man who appeared in the large entranceway was tall and thin with granite-colored hair and deep grooves carved into his face.
Pain scored that face as he took in the solemn expressions of those who waited. His body was heavy when he stepped inside. Others came in behind him, including two people carried on stretchers. Nova walked next to the stretchers. She was barefoot, her commands crisp and clear as she ordered that the two be taken to the infirmary.
Cubs tumbled into the Cavern after the adults, went immediately to Valentin. He laughed and cuddled each one before giving them permission to join their excited friends at the table and around the Cavern. Dima and the others had stayed in place--though they were bouncing up and down and waving.
Under their chatter was a taut silence.
The adult newcomers, their faces gaunt with strain, lingered near the entrance as if unsure of their welcome. More than one gaze went to Silver.
"Small bears," Valentin said into the mass of unspoken words, "you're out of here. Thirty seconds."
The cubs slid off their seats and ran, the bigger ones holding on to the hands of their younger friends, the cubs who lived in this den reminding their returned friends which way they had to go.
The area was clear of children well within the mandated thirty seconds; two of the adults who Silver knew were in charge of the nursery went with them. The teenagers remained, clearly having permission to stay when the "small bears" order was given.
"There will be no punishment," Valentin said at last, his eyes locked with those of the tall man with granite-colored hair who had to be Sergey. "We've all been punished enough."
Tears on many faces, stark-white shock on others.
"But"--Valentin's tone was brutal--"I will not accept disloyalty. Punishment for any such action from this point on will be immediate and harsh."
He looked around, his eyes hard and his voice a boom of sound. "StoneWater as a clan will stay strong, stay a safe place for those who call it home. If that means I have to banish or kill threats to the clan, I will."
Silver was watching the returnees closely, saw the flinches at his use of the word "kill." They had no idea her Valyusha wasn't the real threat. Silver would annihilate anyone who dared hurt him again.
"If you can't live with my 'tainted blood'"--shamed looks from many of the returned--"leave now and you'll live. After this, there will be no second chances."
No one moved.
"Then"--smile open and genuine, he wrapped an arm around the shoulders of a middle-aged male who'd been inching closer to him during the entire speech--"welcome home."
The man turned in to Valentin, hugging him tight before breaking away so someone else could do the same. Only Sergey kept his distance, his expression openly torn.
When he did approach--while Valentin was speaking to two others--it was to come to Silver. "You're Psy."
His harsh words were bullets shot into stone. The Cavern turned deadly quiet.
"She is my mate." Valentin responded before Silver could, his tone as harsh. "If you have anything to say about that, Sergey, say it to your alpha."
The older male looked away, his jaw working.
Others, meanwhile, were staring at Silver, waiting. And she knew this moment was critical, would determine who she was as Valentin's mate. Much as she wanted to turn Sergey's brain into neural soup, that was not what her bear wanted. So she'd give this man and the others a chance to redeem themselves. "Welcome home," she said. "Your clan has missed you."
More than one shaky smile, the pinched look fading from their faces.
"Food! Drink!" Valentin yelled into the tremulous hope. "Today, we celebrate a united clan!"
Cheers thundered through the Cavern, coming first from those who'd never left, but joined only seconds later by those who had--many of whom were red-eyed and shaking. Valentin's arms were open to all, his big body a sturdy oak against which they could find strength.
When people kept glancing at Silver with wide eyes, she went with instinct and extended her hands to show them that contact was welcome. The offer was taken up by many. "I always knew he'd pick a mate as strong as he is," one woman whispered with a deep smile.
Another said, "Trust Valentin to nab not just a Psy but Silver Mercant herself. He's always made his own rules." There was pride in those words, respect in the eye contact.
Sergey remained aloof, but he was a bear; he couldn't hide his torment.
Walking over to him once she was free, Silver spoke before he could say a word. "You have only two choices."
He held her gaze in an aggressive challenge.
Silver was intimidated by no one, least of all a tortured bear. She did not look away. "You can hold on to your fear and let it drive you to hate, or you can trust in the bonds of clan. There is no middle ground."
"You know nothing of what this clan has suffered." Fisted hands, a clenched jaw.
"I'm your alpha's mate," she reminded him with icy precision. "I know this clan is full of warmth and a wild kind of love that doesn't hold grudges. To StoneWater, family means everything." Was it any wonder she'd fallen for the entire clan? "You chose to fracture that. Your choice now is to either fix that error--or walk away."
"You have no right to say that to me."
"I will do anything to protect Valentin. If that means eliminating a threat, I'll do it without compunction and without a single ounce of guilt." She made sure he saw the deadly truth on her face. "His heart is huge, but that doesn't mean you get to kick it. Choose."
Sergey swallowed . . . then subtly broke the aggressive eye contact. A second later, he walked toward Valentin and when Valentin drew him into his arms, he didn't resist. Instead, he held on hard, his body shaking as tears streaked his face.
The others gave them space.
Silver, too, shifted away, going to help two of the clan who were setting up tables for the food and drink Valentin had ordered. Moira, her baby strapped to her chest, sat with them. "I don't know what you said to Sergey," she murmured, her tone a little awed, "but that ornery bear has never showed submission to anyone but his alpha."
Yakov looked up from where he was on his knees putting up a table. "Valentin found a mate worthy of him."
Silver took that as the compliment it was meant to be--but she was also bear enough now to say, "I'd say I found a mate worthy of me."
Eyes amber, Yakov grinned. "Will Valentin punch me if I kiss you?"
"He is more likely to rip off your head."
"Might be worth it."
Silver considered the mood in the Cavern, considered the life she'd never have, considered what it was to be a bear--and leaned down to grip Yakov's jaw. She'd pressed a kiss to his mouth before he recovered from his surprise. Clanmates laughed as the dominant bear fell back on his ass. "Definitely worth it," he said, a happiness in his eyes that had nothing to do with the skin privileges.
The same happiness infused others around them.
Even Valentin when he ordered Yakov to keep his sneaky paws to himself.
It was about clan, about family, about bonds o
She understood so much now, saw how it could be, how she and her alpha bear could walk side by side, taking both the Mercant family and StoneWater into a dazzling future. But the noise inside her head, which had dimmed for an hour that had given her a false hope, it started to grow again. And grow and grow.
When Valentin found her sitting on the edge of their bed a half hour later, he was smiling. "There you are. Nova said you popped in here to--"
Cutting himself off midword, he hunkered down in front of her. "Starlight, you're crying."
Silver lifted a hand to her left cheek, touched the moisture there. "Oh." She hadn't known, hadn't realized. "The noise, it hurts."
*
THE quiet words from his strong Silver broke Valentin.
Gathering her into his arms, he sat down against a wall with her in his lap. "What can I do?" he asked, because he had to do something. "I'll take you out of Denhome, deep into the--"
"No." She raised her head, her eyes still damp and her pupils hugely dilated but her will as steely as ever. "This night is important for our clan." Her fingers over his lips when he would've spoken. "And my range is phenomenal now. I can hear for miles, sound layer on sound layer."
Valentin's bear pounded its paws in primal frustration. "Can Nova knock you out?"
"I've considered it, but drugs have unpredictable effects on Psy senses--they could smash open my remaining shields." She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. "I can hold on."
So fucking strong.
He rose with her, kissed tiny kisses all over her face until her lips tugged up. "You handled Sergey like an alpha bear."
No doubt the irritable older bear and Valentin would still butt heads, but the other man had come to him, and Sergey wasn't two-faced about anything. He'd been blatant in his distrust, and now he'd be as open in his choice to trust Valentin.
"You need to scream, you scream," he told his Starlight. "This is a bear party. Everyone will think you're having a great time."
Silver's smile deepened, lit her up. "Perhaps I will be rowdy tonight. I am now mated to a bear, after all. It's required."
"Exactly." She was so beautiful in her strength, he wanted to go to his knees, wanted to worship her. "Now let me show you how bears party."