The Rainbow Maker's Tale by Melanie Cusick-Jones
Chapter 25
“Where did all this extra stuff come from?”
My head was shoved deep inside one of the pod cupboards and I was marvelling at the amount of food in there. Stepping back, I closed the door and opened the next, finding more compact packets of dehydrated food, perfect for a long journey with limited cooking equipment.
Cassie lay behind me on the single bunk the pod had – not necessarily a drawback – in her hands she held the portable viewing screen I’d stolen from The Clinic. Although it was not connected to the Hope’s systems now, it was able to connect to the databases on the pod, where I had found a huge amount of useful – but unexpected – data. There were star charts and documents on physics, the likes of which I’d never seen in our classes before. There was plenty to help me learn navigation skills, if we were to use the pod to try and get anywhere useful, rather than just float around in space until our food ran out.
“You mean the food?” Cassie said, raising her head.
“Uh-huh, food,” I grunted, “and the medical supplies, spare astro repair kit, extensive star charts and navigation data, advanced water and air processing systems…It’s as though the pod was specifically equipped to support a long journey with passengers...”
“And…?”
How could she not find that strange, especially after everything we had been through with The Collective. “And…this is a waste pod primarily. An unmanned waste pod…”
Even though I left my sentence open ended, Cassie didn’t add anything. I sighed and closed the door, not bothering to open another. I didn’t want to push her too hard – we’d not even talked properly about what had happened to us both in the time we were apart on Hope… But, I also needed to try and work out how this had happened. At the end on the station – I remembered only small glimpses of it – but Cassie said that one of the creatures had helped us get out. When I pictured him in my head, my tarnished memories told me that he was the same man who had visited me…the only one who seemed to show any sympathy for what was happening to me…
I didn’t want to push her, but I still needed her to see what I was trying to work out. Opening another cupboard I found it filled with medical supplies: saline pouches, plasma and blood packets, bandages and basic tools. “There’s so much stuff here.” I said. “Like it was planned or something – it feels…wrong.” I couldn’t admit to Cassie that my deepest fear was that this was just another false world of theirs, and we’d been tricked into it.
“He must have done it.” Cassie insisted, talking about the man who helped us. “He told me he didn’t agree with what the others did to you and he wanted to help us get out.”
I shook my head – still inside the cupboard – it seemed Cassie credited him with doing a lot for us, but without really being able to explain the motivation for his actions.
“Doing this would have taken time – and planning,” I said finally, closing the door and turning back to Cassie. “How could he have known what we were going to do, if he wasn’t part of their system?”
I waited for a long time, but she didn’t answer me. I knew now that we had both realised the creatures on the SS Hope weren’t human. When I’d reprogrammed the navigation system after just three hours, we’d had plenty of time to catch up.
Although neither of us had gone into too much detail about how exactly we had come to the same conclusion, Cassie had told me about disecting the body-suit, as she called it, of the man that I had killed in the apartment. Her discovery explained a lot about why I had been unable to hurt them physically, as well as why they were so much stronger than us. Their one point of weakness – the throat – was some kind of insertion point, where they entered the suit in their natural form. For my part, Cassie had guessed some of what they had done to me, because of the injuries. I didn’t share with her the other tortures, it would only make her feel worse and it was not her fault. There was no one to blame in all of this, except for them. And that’s why I was having such a hard time understanding why Cassie seemed able to trust one of them so easily after everything that had happened.
“I’d seen that man before,” I said. Even though I didn’t specify, I knew that Cassie would know who I was talking about. “He came to see me when they were holding me in the other place. That MAN was different to the others – I knew it, I could feel it when we met – but he did nothing for me. He left me with the others. Left me to die.”
Why do you trust him so much?
Cassie closed her eyes. Guilt swallowed me whole and I found half of me wanted to take back what I had said. It was obvious I was forcing her into a place she couldn’t stand to be – how could I be so selfish? Unfortunately, the guilt also made me angry with myself. Perhaps if I’d pushed Cassie harder, pushed myself harder, when we were in the Family Quarter, we might have escaped before The Collective had time to hurt us both? My questions didn’t stop – I couldn’t make them, because part of me wanted to know the answer more: I would risk causing Cassie pain, if it meant I could protect her better…
She still hadn’t spoken.
“Do you think it’s a trick?” I asked.
“No.” Cassie finally replied, tears catching on her lashes, her answer almost too soft to hear. “No.” She repeated more definitely and she looked up at me, through the unshed tears. “I think it’s real. He wanted to get us out.”
“Why? Why us?”
Cassie sighed and in that moment I knew that she had an answer. There was a reason she trusted him so completely – I couldn’t comprehend what – but it was obvious that she did.
“He did it because he knew my mother. My real genetic, human mother. He had wanted to protect her from the others in The Collective, but he failed and that’s why he wanted to protect us.”
There was silence as I processed what Cassie had said. This small piece of information only raised more questions and there was only one thing I knew with any certainty. Cassie turned towards me, I wondered if she was going to say something more, but interuppted before she could. “He didn’t want to protect us. It was just you. He wanted to get you out.”
Cassie opened her mouth then closed it, twice, without words coming out. I didn’t want her to feel guilty, whatever the connection was between her and the creature, I didn’t want her to feel that I resented the fact that it wanted to protect her and not me.
“Cassie, I need you to know something.”
She didn’t move, just sat frozen, her eyes fearfully intent on my face.
“I might not understand why that creature acted the way that he did.” And I’m not going to ask you, I’ll wait for when you’re ready to tell me, I added to myself before continuing. “But, I’m glad it was you. If I had to go through that again, so that you could get out, I would.”
“I would never have left without you,” Cassie murmured, her voice was soft but imbued with honesty. “I could never have left you. And I never will. We cannot be apart again – you can’t put me before yourself as you did on Hope – no matter what happens to us.” At first her expression was determined, as she re-lived the memories that fuelled her words. Then, something changed in her eyes: replacing her resolve with two emotions I never wanted to see on Cassie’s face: anguish and fear.
“Losing you again would kill me,” she whispered.
In three long strides I was beside her, leaning over and pulling her close with my good arm. Cassie’s face tilted up to mine and I could see my own pain reflected in her beautiful emerald eyes: she meant every word she said.
“I will not let anything hurt you,” I promised. Making a vow to myself that I would not live without Cassie…that I would die to protect her.
“I will not let anything come between us,” she replied, grit hardening her words.
I knew that Cassie was contradicting my promise with her own, and I marvelled at her. No wonder that creature had chosen Cassie. She was so powerful, how did she not see the strength inside her that I did? She w
Falling in love with Cassie had given me a taste of life – what it was really about. Her presence woke parts of my spirit that I don’t think had ever existed until she stepped into my world. Everything – even going through the pain and horror of our seperation – was worth it, to be with her.
Cassie wouldn’t understand. I didn’t doubt that she loved me, but it wasn’t the same. She had changed me – altered the way I looked at myself and the world around me. I could not imagine my life without her, because without Cassie, I didn’t live. I never had.
Staring into her face, I wondered about what the future held for us, now that our lives weren’t being planned hour-by-hour, from birth to death. This was our chance, wasn’t it? Our first real chance at life: to live without controls and lies. I would do everything in my power to make it happen, for us.
“You and me,” I vowed, unable to keep the smile from my face. It sounded so perfect...sounded so possible...
“Always,” Cassie agreed reaching her hand into my hair and pulling my face to meet hers.