Thirteen Senses by Victor Villaseñor
And Salvador licked his lips and Lupe could see that he was getting ready to go into another one of his rages. But she wasn’t about to let him get away with this. After all, not only had she toughened up a lot in the last few weeks, but her love for him wasn’t blind anymore. No, she was now a woman in love, but with—both eyes wide open!
“Salvador,” she said, “how do you expect me to speak to you if you get angry every time I talk? I’m not blaming you. I’m simply telling you what I think is going on. I sat out there by that avocado tree by the outhouse for a long time waiting for you, so I had a long time to think. Why, right now, as we speak, I bet you, that Luisa is, well, as you’d say it—dirtying her dress, she’s hoping so much that I don’t tell you what she tried to do.
“Look, Salvador,” she added, “I know how to defend myself. I didn’t serve that man his drink. I simply said, ‘I’m married, and I’m with child, and I don’t feel well. And even if I did feel well, I serve no man, but my own husband, Luisa’s brother Salvador.’
“Hearing your name, the man immediately took off his hat, apologizing, bought his pint and left, and I went out the back door and sat there waiting for you. Luisa came out three times, inviting me back inside and telling me that she’d only been joking, but I just ignored her. And I’m very good at ignoring, Salvador. I did it to you for almost one month.”
Grinning, Salvador got out of the car and walked about, breathing deeply. And every time he’d glance at Lupe, he’d shake his head and grin again. Then he suddenly leaped into the air, giving un grito de gusto, and he started dancing around in a little circle, howling as he danced.
“Oh, oh, oh, you’re tough, Lupe! You are tough! Poor Luisa is probably shitting in her dress right now! My God, my mother was right all along!” he added, hopping about like a rabbit on one foot and then the other. “And now here you give Luisa the horn!” he added. “Oh, this is wonderful! You really do know how to take care of yourself!”
And saying this, Salvador drew close to the car. “Lupe,” he said, looking at her quietly, “I love you. You hear me, I love you, and I respect you, and I’m so proud to be . . . your esposo. Our children are safe, Lupe, for you are one hell of a tough, smart, cunning woman!”
Seeing his eyes looking at her with such open, honest, earned respect, Lupe’s whole heart moved, and they were just going to kiss . . . when they both spotted a little fox looking at them from across the dry creek. And the little She-Fox had two young ones with her, and she was actually smiling at them.
“That’s mi mama!” shouted Salvador, beaming with joy. “Look at her, my mother, the old She-Fox, and that’s you and me, the two young ones that she’s taking out into the world to teach!”
And Lupe knew Salvador had spoken the truth. For she, too, had gotten a glimpse of a little fox the day she’d been crawling through the brush, trying to get away from Salvador. And that little fox had smiled to her just as this She-Fox was now doing.
She breathed. That day of crawling through the brush and seeing Salvador roll into the cactus seemed like years ago—so much had happened since then.
Suddenly, Lupe remembered one of the many things that Doña Margarita had told her the day that she’d visited with her and the Blessed Mother at the outhouse.
“Mi hijita,” had said the old She-Fox, sitting in the outhouse with her Bible in hand and a cigarrito hanging from her mouth, “always remember that el amor isn’t eternal like the poets like to say. No, love comes and goes, mi hijita, so here there needs to be trust and respect in between, or love will lessen every time ’til poof, we just don’t know where it ever was.
“Respect, mi hijita, is the foundation of all love. For respect is the flame that rekindles love. Why do you think that rich, old fool in Tustin keeps sending his car to come and get me,” she added, laughing. “It’s not because of my great looks, I tell you. No, it’s because it has been years since anyone spoke up to him. He respects me. And that respect has now lasted long enough to have grown into trust. And these, trust and respect, cannot be purchased. That’s why he was so lonely, mi hijita, like only the rich and powerful can be lonely—having everything, and yet nothing at the same time. And here I came, not impressed with anything of his but his toilet paper, and the old fool got so excited, rekindling his love of life with such gusto, that he now thinks that he’s in love with me.
“His household has moved out, saying that I’m a witch who’s cast a spell on him, and I guess I am, because when I bathe him with herbs, massaging his feet, he gets so happy that he doesn’t care what people think.” She breathed. “Also, mi hijita, respect and trust—thank God—cannot be gained from here between the legs like our wet, hot, fires of passion, but must be earned in the depths of our Souls. Respect is the healing side of jealousy, and Trust is the healing side of fear, and together they are the sweetness that keeps a couple strong through their hard times of living Life, la Vida.”
And Respect and Trust was what Lupe now had for Salvador when he drew her close, and they kissed. Respect, the sweetest of all kisses, Trust the sweetest of all caresses, she was now beginning to see that she had for Salvador more and more each day as she grew to know him. And yes, she could also see that he was beginning to have more and more Respect and Trust for her, too.
So, yes, she now allowed him to draw her close, and they kissed, then kissed again.
The drums were beating.
The One Collective Heart-Corazón of Humanity was beat, Beat, BEATING!
And Here was the old She-Fox, herself, the garrr-apata up their spiritual ass for all eternity, watching over them from across the little dry riverbed.
A FEW DAYS LATER, Salvador was out making deliveries to his retailers, when he happened to drive through Oceanside and he saw Archie with a bunch of people at the front door of the bank. One old Indian woman was screaming hysterically, and the other people looked like they were ready to start screaming, too.
Having seen desperate people all of his life, Salvador parked his car across the street, making sure he could get away quickly if need be, then he got out of the Moon, glanced around, and went over to see what was going on. He was ready. For just like the rabbit or the deer, Salvador well knew that survival for a human depended on caution and speed afoot.
“That was all my money!” screamed the woman from the Pala Indian Reservation, grabbing Archie by the jacket and shaking him with all her might. “What will I do, Archie? What will I do? I lost everything!” And she hugged the big lawman close, crying all the more.
Another big, tall, huge Indian was kicking at the front doors of the bank, bellowing all he could. “You bastards! You lying, double-crossing rich sons-of-bitches! We want our money back!”
“What’s going on?” asked Salvador, coming up to Archie.
“Don’t you know?” said Archie, turning to see Salvador while holding the old lady close. “All across the country, banks are going belly-up! The whole nation is falling apart!”
“You mean somebody stole the money from all the banks?” asked Salvador. “But how can that be?” Salvador just couldn’t conceive of such a far-reaching bank robbery. “Why, that would take a whole army of thieves. Archie!”
The big, huge Indian who was busy kicking the bank’s doors, turned and screamed at Salvador! “It was an inside job, you dumb son-of-a-bitch! The bankers and their rich friends back in New York City stole our money, and ran out of the country!”
“Jesus!” said Salvador, suddenly feeling his face go pale. He’d told Lupe that he didn’t trust banks! Oh, my God, my God, then they, too, had lost everything!
“Don’t you read the papers?” said Archie angrily. “Don’t you listen to the radio?”
“No,” said Salvador. “I don’t.”
“Well, then, you must be the only son-of-a-bitch in the whole civilized nation who ain’t going crazy!” yelled Archie.
The woman was now gagging and going into convulsions. Archie took off his jacket and put it on the sidewalk and helped
“You got any liquor on you?” asked Archie of Salvador. “This is Aunt Gladys.’ She’s lost every penny she owned.”
Salvador glanced around. He didn’t want to be talking about his bootlegging business right here in front of everyone. “Archie,” he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Damnit!” bellowed Archie. “Don’t give me any of your secret bootlegging shit! I need liquor, and right now! These people have lost everything they own—EVERYTHING!”
And he, Archie, this huge, powerful giant of a man, now began to cry, too. “Sal, I swear, this is just like they did to us when they took everything away from us years back and moved us from our springs on the back side of Palomar Mountain over to this side in Pala. They took our land, our homes, our—our Sacred Healing Springs! Bring me some whiskey, Sal! Dear Lord God, bring me some whiskey, right now, damnit!”
“You mean a quart?”
“No! I don’t mean a bottle! I mean a whole damn barrel! Or I’ll arrest your ass for not reading newspapers!”
“Okay, okay, I’ll be right back,” said Salvador, realizing that Archie wasn’t joking. “I’ll go get it.” And he got into his Moon and drove over to the San Luis Rey riverbed about half a mile west of the Mission, where he’d just buried a couple of barrels. He glanced around to make sure that no one was looking, then he dug up one barrel and drove right back into Oceanside.
Now, there were well over a hundred people, and not just Indians, but Blacks, Whites, Mexicans, Filipinos and Japanese—and they were all behind the bank in the alley, crying and screaming, or just sitting on the ground and staring in utter shock.
When Archie saw Salvador drive up, he rushed over and with huge power, just yanked the barrel out of the trunk as if it weighed nothing, then he bellowed!
“Free whiskey for everybody! Come on, let’s drink! Everybody’s got to get drunk! I’m having a steer brought in, too, and we’re going to have a barbacoa on the beach by the pier, and everybody has got to get shit-faced drunk! What’s money, anyway? Just a bunch of worthless paper when you got friends! Come on, let’s get drunk! And eat Archie’s barbacoa! The best! Shit, life is just getting started! Who needs money when you got friends, and food, and plenty of free whiskey?”
“You bet!” yelled a man. “With free whiskey, we got everything!”
And the people came to Archie in a mad rush, and he poured the liquor into their hats, their hands, and down their throats. Soon people were laughing, and a couple of men started throwing rocks at the bank windows. And Archie, who was wearing his gun and badge, only laughed.
Coming over to Salvador, Archie put his huge arm around him. “Thanks, Sal,” said Archie, glancing around at all the drinking, laughing people. “Poor bastards, they don’t even know the half of it yet!” He took a big breath. “It’s just beginning. They’re gonna lose their homes and little ranches, too. Businesses are going to start folding right and left . . . and there ain’t going to be no jobs, Sal, and then these fine people—my friends, my family—will start robbing and . . . and . . . I’m the law, Sal, and I’ll have to come after ’em.”
The tears ran down Archie’s huge, long face, and he hugged Salvador in a big abrazo!
“But Archie,” said Salvador, trying to understand what was being told to him, “how did this all happen? I don’t see no change. I mean, I drive down the road and I see everything the same as yesterday, fat cattle, lots of oranges in the trees, big crops of avocados coming in, and acres and acres of tomatoes and lettuce, and people working and doing good. So what happened? Is there a revolution going on, or what?”
“Yeah, I guess you could call this a revolution,” said Archie. “You see, from what I’ve been told, all of our main banks for our whole country are all located back in New York City and, as someone tried to explain to me yesterday, those banks loaned out too much money on too little collateral to their rich friends for stocks and bonds, and now these rich people are broke and can’t pay back the banks.”
“Now I get it,” said Salvador. “That’s the oldest trick in gambling! You put out a bunch of extra chips on credit, then when the time comes for the house to cover the chips, they don’t have enough money, so they go broke.”
“Exactly!” said Archie. “So now our local bankers are just as broke and all screwed up as those big banks back in New York City, Sal.”
“I see, I see,” said Salvador, scratching his head, “but how can a country be so stupid? It don’t make sense. Somebody knew, Archie. And this somebody who knew made a lot of money on everybody else going broke.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” said Archie, “some of those rich people in New York must’ve known, so they just stole all the chickens from all the chicken coops across the country before the crash!”
Salvador nodded. “I’ve seen many a’gambling house do this. They just let the house go broke, because the house people, they aren’t held responsible. Hell, if the law was that we hang the ones who run the house, then this would never happen!”
“Jesus, you’re right!” screamed Archie, and he now picked up a brick and threw it at the bank building himself. “You greedy, scheming bastards ought to be hung ’til dead!”
Seeing Archie, the law, do this, the people cheered, and Archie laughed, throwing another brick.
Quickly, quietly, Salvador slipped off, got in his Moon, and drove away He hoped to God that he and Lupe could get to their bank in Corona before it closed its doors, too.
He never should have listened to Lupe and put their money in the bank. This was exactly what the entire Mexican Revolution had been all about, too. Don Porfirio, the big wolf, instead of guarding the chicken coop for the good of la gente, he’d given Mexico away to all his rich foreign friends, piece by piece, all in the name of progress.
Getting to their little rented house in the avocado orchard in Carlsbad, Salvador breathed deeply, trying to calm down. But his heart-corazón kept racing. A large part of him just felt like rushing in and telling Lupe that it was all her damn fault that they’d lost everything! That he’d never wanted to put their money in the bank in the first place!
But, also, Salvador realized that this wouldn’t help. That what he really needed to do was take both of his tanates in hand, face the Devil of Blaming, and get Lupe out of the house as quickly as possible and to Corona to their bank.
Breathing deep, Salvador got out of the Moon and went inside of their home. And there was Chingon, their little dog, in the house.
“Lupe,” he said, coming up behind her, “we got to go to Corona,” he added as calmly as he could.
“But I have lunch ready,” she said.
“Lupe, this is an emergency,” he said, still trying to keep tame his heart, which was beating wildly!
“Oh, your mother! Why didn’t you say. I’ll just get my purse, and coat!”
“Good!” he said, grabbing up the food that she’d been cooking in the frying pan with a couple of tortillas. “And bring our bankbook!” He ate the food as they went back out to the car. As they drove, he told Lupe what he’d seen in Oceanside and how Archie had ordered him to get him a barrel of whiskey.
“The people were going crazy,” said Salvador. “And Archie explained to me that this is just the beginning, that now people are going to be losing their homes and little ranches, too. And then that he, Archie, the law, will have to start coming after them when they start robbing and stealing to feed their families.”
Lupe was silent. She didn’t say one single word. Tears were running down her face.
“You hate me, don’t you, Salvador?” she finally asked.
He took a deep breath. “Lupe,” he said, “we don’t know if we’ve lost our money yet. Corona is little, not big like Oceanside. So, well, maybe people out there don’t read the newspapers.”
“Thank you, Salvador,” said Lupe.
“For what?”
“For finding hope,” she said. “For not yelling at
“Don’t be thanking me yet,” said Salvador, taking in a big breath. “Let’s just keep hoping right now, that we draw some good cards in this game that we’re now in.”
Hearing this, Lupe asked, “Then to you, Salvador, everything is a gamble?”
“Exactly. All of life! Completely! To live is to gamble.”
“I see,” said Lupe.
And they didn’t say another word. Each retreated to their own world, trying to make sense of what was happening to them in terms that they could understand. And their “terms” were very different. Cada cabeza, un mundo, every head a different world.
Then getting into Corona, Salvador immediately drove over to the Anglo part of town where they’d deposited their money in a bank. Parking, they both quickly got out of the Moon and approached the bank. There was no one around, like at the bank in Oceanside.
Salvador grinned, figuring that maybe everything was okay. But then, walking up to the front doors, they saw that the doors were all boarded up.
Salvador’s whole heart went crashing down into his gut, then came leaping up into his throat! And he was gagging, choking, tasting this sour-metal green gunk that came to his mouth from out of his stomach!
Their bank had already gone broke and closed its doors! They, too, had lost all of their money in all the world. My God, why had he ever listened to Lupe. Men did get weak and stupid in the head once they married!
If it weren’t for the fact Lupe was pregnant with their child, he’d send her packing home to her parents right now! He couldn’t afford to have a weak, ignorant woman around him who had absolutely no idea what went on in the world, and yet kept acting so high-and-mighty, trying to tell him what to do!
To hell with his mother’s advice, too, about men needing to listen to women. He’d just lost all of his money, because he’d listened to a woman’s advice! And he’d worked so hard for this money, putting in days of sixteen and eighteen hours, and he’d just been getting ready to finish paying off his friend Kenny White!