Thirteen Senses by Victor Villaseñor
And it was true, what Lupe was now feeling going on inside of her stomach, as she walked along the seashore, was every bit as huge and powerful as the Mother Sea, herself.
Lupe continued walking, watching the waves, the seabirds, and feeling the wet, glistening sand under her feet, and she just knew that somehow she would face her parents eye to eye and everything would be all right. After all, the world was huge and the world had many ways and she was a married woman with a husband and a child on the way and so she wasn’t going to allow anyone, not even a member of her own familia, to cause her any unnecessary worry.
She was feeling stronger now, feeling a confidence that she’d never felt before in all of her life. It really was like her mother had told her, once a woman married and started her home, then every woman needed to find her own way so she could find her own special answers to the twists and turns of life. And Lupe could now see that this great body of water, the sea, had helped her find her way as her mother’s Crying Tree had helped her mother find her way. After all, women came from Water, just as much as they came from Tree.
Suddenly, Lupe felt like shouting, like dancing—she felt so very good! She could now see clearly that she was glad that she’d sent her sister home, even if Carlota did tell their parents everything.
Lupe walked on, eating up the miles, and she was strong and good now. Up ahead in the distance, she saw the brightly-colored umbrellas of the people that she’d seen earlier from the Carlsbad Hotel. But they were so far away that they looked like bite-sized, individually wrapped chocolates, just like the ones her sister Sophia had gotten from her suitor back in La Lluvia.
Lupe laughed and kept walking, feeling stronger with each step. The brightly-colored umbrellas got closer and closer and, finally, she was close enough to see that the people under the umbrellas were sitting down and reading books.
Lupe’s whole face lit up with joy. “Oh, what a splendid idea,” she said to herself, seeing what these fantastic gringos were doing. “Why, I’d never thought of that! To come down to the seashore and read a book while you listened to the ocean!”
Lupe began to walk even faster. She would find the local library and she would start to read once again.
“Yes, I’ll read to my child here inside of me!” she said excitedly. “Sure, books can become our best companions!”
Suddenly Lupe felt so happy, that she wanted to get home to their little house as quickly as she could. She was so glad that she’d come down to the seashore alone. Being alone was wonderful, especially when you could feel the Seed of Life, la Vida, inside of you.
As Lupe passed by the well-dressed people under the umbrellas, the beautiful young film star glanced up and saw her. And to Lupe’s complete surprise, the young woman now gave her a beautiful smile and waved a big, “Hello, there! What a gorgeous sundress!”
Lupe turned a thousand shades of red, she was so embarrassed. Why, she was just dressed in the simplest of dresses, and she felt so plain and ordinary compared to these fine people. But still, she smiled back to the movie star and said, “Thank you!” Then she flew up the bluff from the beach in large, graceful bounds, as she’d always raced up the barrancas back home in la Lluvia de Oro. She hoped that she could get out of earshot before the people started laughing at her. What in God’s name had ever possessed her to smile back at such a well-dressed famous woman.
Lupe hurried down the road, past the Carlsbad Hotel, and back down the short slope to the railroad tracks. She wanted to fix a special dinner for Salvador tonight. She and Salvador had been so happy when they’d been alone together.
She felt excited as she started up the driveway to their casita. She’d get her purse and she’d go to the barrio market and buy groceries just like a married woman. She was so happy that she began to sing. And at the market, Lupe couldn’t believe it, there was a canary for sale, and so she bought the bird, too. Song was in the air—she could feel it in her HEART!
WHEN SALVADOR GOT to his mother’s house, he found his sister, Luisa, screaming like a crazy woman. “Salvador,” she yelled, “I’ve been praying that you come! Our mama has gone loca and endangered us all!”
“What are you talking about, Luisa?” said Salvador.
“Come over here by me, away from her, and I’ll tell you,” said his sister, making the sign of the cross over herself. Doña Margarita was sitting across the room from Luisa and her boys in the kitchen calmly drinking a cup of tea. Luisa made the sign of the cross over herself again, making sure to keep her distance from their mother as if she was expecting a bolt of lightning to come down from the Heavens at any moment.
“Go outside, boys,” Luisa said to her children, “and don’t come back ’til I call you!” After getting her boys safely out of the house, Luisa turned on her brother. “Our mama,” she said to Salvador, “spoke to God, Himself, demanding that He make up with the Devil! Can you believe that, Salvador? Our mother did this horrible thing, completely ignoring that we’re supposed to be afraid of the Holy Wrath of God?”
“Mi hijita, calm down,” said Doña Margarita.
“I will not calm down!” said Luisa with tears streaming down her face. “You tell Salvador what you told me, mama! And I’m sorry to say this, mama, but I have children to worry about, so unless you’re willing to take back what you said to God, then I’m going to have to ask you to go to your own house and not come to my home again. My God, you’re lucky Dios hasn’t struck you DEAD with a bolt of LIGHTNING! How could you have done this, mama, endangering us all! Don’t you remember that woman in the Bible—what’s her name—who God turned to stone just because she turned to look back? I’m scared, mama!” added Luisa.
“Oh, mi hijita,” said Doña Margarita, “woman of such little faith, don’t you see that—”
“Faith? Oh, I got faith, mama, lots of faith, that’s why I don’t put my nose in where it don’t belong, because I have FAITH that it will GET CUT OFF!”
Hearing this, Doña Margarita started laughing. “Mi hijita, that’s not faith, that’s fear.”
“Well, then I got FAITH in my FEAR, mama! Because just look at me, I’m a nervous wreck, shaking like a leaf ever since you told me what you did, and that you didn’t ask—but demanded—that Papito Dios have an answer for you mañana. Yes, He’ll have an answer for you—UN RAYO DE LUMBRE down our throat, mama!
“Luisa, Luisa, calmate,” said the old lady, “or better still just come with me in the morning, and you’ll see that God is—”
“Oh, no, mama!” yelled Luisa, cutting her off. “I followed you down the mountains into the battles of war! I followed you across the desert without water or food! But I will not go to church with you tomorrow to see what God has to say about el Diablo!”
“And why not, mi hijita,” said the old woman kindly. “God is already Here ... all around us, showing us His Eternal Love. That’s all God is, querida, Amor above all else. Who do you think was with us through all those difficult times of the Revolution, Luisa?”
“God, yes, I know that, mama, but He was, well, invisible . . . you know, what I’m saying. But this, well, this—oh, no, no, no! I’m not pure, mama. I can’t go with you to see God face to face! I don’t even own new UNDERWEAR!”
Hearing this, Salvador started laughing. “Look, Luisa,” he said, “if that’s what all this is really about, I’ll buy you new underwear.”
“Oh, yeah, sure, make fun of me!” said Luisa. “You haven’t heard all the stories that are going on around the barrio! Mama has told God what to do, don’t you see, and she’s not the Pope! She’s just a poor, ignorant woman!”
Hearing these words “just a poor, ignorant woman,” Doña Margarita closed her eyes in concentration. “Mi hijita, after all these years of struggle, haven’t you come to see that it is us, the poor, ignorant women of the world, who’ve been saving the day since the dawn of time?”
Breathing, Doña Margarita now opened up her eyes. “We are the Power, mi hijita,” she added. “We are the Sacred Powe
“Oh, I just don’t know,” said Luisa, wringing her one hand with the other. “I hear you, mama. But tell me, what if God is in a bad mood? I mean, yeah, sure, I know He’s All Love and All Good, but what if He just happens to have a bad night tonight, then what?
“Look, mama, I’ll tell you what,” added Luisa, looking so scared and nervous that she could pop. “I’ll go for you and tell the priest to tell God that you were just joking, okay? That you didn’t really mean to start up all this trouble.”
“You’d do that for me, mi hijita,” said Doña Margarita. “You’d go to the church feeling the way you do?”
“Well, yes, of course, mama,” said Luisa, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. “Because—oh, mama, you are our sacred mother, and I love you with all of my heart!”
“Oh, Luisa, come here, and let me hold you, you are a fine, brave daughter.”
“Well, no, not quite so brave, mama,” said Luisa, “because I won’t go inside of the church. I’ll go to the priest’s door in the back, hoping God doesn’t see me.”
The burst of carcajadas that erupted from the old woman filled the house with the sound of laughter. “Come here,” she said to her daughter. “Come here, and let me hug you and give you love!”
Quickly, Luisa went to her skinny, little, old mother and knelt down on the floor, putting her large, tear-wet face on her mother’s tiny lap, crying and crying as her mother soothed her head with her old, wrinkled, dark hands. Salvador breathed easier. They looked so beautiful together. And he was thinking that they were both finally calming down, when Luisa suddenly jerked her face up from her mother’s lap.
“Mama,” she asked, “you didn’t invite the Devil to come and see you tomorrow morning in church, too, did you?”
“Well, of course,” said Doña Margarita, “the whole reason why I’ve set up this meeting is so that the two of—”
But Doña Margarita was never able to finish her words, because Luisa now let out a blood-curdling SCREECH of pure terror, then she was up and racing out the back door, scattering chickens, goats, and the mother pig and her little piglets!
Luisa continued screaming in wild hysterics ’til the neighbors came out of their homes to see what was the commotion. And when Luisa told them of her mother’s predicament, that she’d set up a meeting between God and the Devil for tomorrow morning at their little stone church, many of la gente quickly made the sign of the cross over themselves and hurried back into their homes, closing their doors, thinking that this crazy old Indian woman had finally done it and she was now bringing about the end of the world for sure!
But a few didn’t rush away in fear and some of these neighbors came to Doña Margarita, found her sipping her tea quietly in the kitchen, and they told her that it was about time that someone had spoken up to God, because it was true what she’d been saying all week long; how did the Holy Creator expect them to get along with one another Here on Earth if He couldn’t make up with the Devil up in Heaven?
Salvador walked his mother to her own little shack behind Luisa’s house. He built a little fire in the wood-burning stove and asked his mother if she was all right.
“I’m fine, mi hijito,” she said. “You don’t have to worry about me. Everything’s going well, perfect in fact,” she added, kissing the crucifix of her rosary.
“Then why is Luisa so upset?”
“Because, mi hijito, until a person has made peace with the Darkness we each carry inside of ourselves, then our Fear of the Devil is greater for us than our Love of God. Balance, remember, is the key to all of our senses.”
“I see, it’s as simple as that, eh, mama?”
“Of course. Show me a person who Fears the Devil and I’ll show you a person who hasn’t brought Peace and Harmony to their Soul.”
He thought of Carlota and how she was so full of fear and that she thought he, Salvador, was the Devil. “So, then, how do you deal with a person who has so much fear, mama?”
“This is the very reason I have set up this meeting between God and the Devil, mi hijito. So once people see that God, Our Father, has made up with Lucifer, then Fear of Death and Fear of the Devil will be uplifted off the whole Mother Earth like a bad dream and we will then burst forth into a Sense of Harmony and Peace across the whole land for thousands of years!
“Tomorrow, mi hijito, is the day we’ve been waiting for a very long time. I thank the Blessed Mother and Jesus that they allowed me to join them in this great event,” she added, making the sign of the cross over herself. She was glowing.
Salvador nodded. “You know, I came to see you, mama, because I was all mixed up,” he said. “Lately so many things have been going wrong with Lupe and me that I didn’t know what to think, but now I’m here with you just a little while and I swear, everything seems so easy and understandable. I can now even see why Lupe’s sister Carlota always attacks our marriage every chance she gets. She’s just jealous and full of fear, mama.”
Doña Margarita laughed. “Well, then by all means thank Carlota every night before you go to sleep. For in her doings she saves you and Lupe a lot of heartbreak.”
“How is that?”
“Because,” said the old woman, closing her eyes in concentration, “if it wasn’t for Carlota, then you and Lupe would be fighting each other to learn the lessons that life destined for you. Carlota, mi hijito, is your Holy Cross, thank God,” she added.
Salvador burst out laughing. “Never in a million years, mama, would I have ever dreamed that I’d be thanking God for my loud-mouth sister-in-law! You are the best! I adore you, mama!”
“Of course, I was the first pair of tits you sucked!” she said.
It was getting late when Salvador realized that he should start for home. Lupe was by herself and he didn’t want her to be alone. But then he remembered that he’d promised Lupe to call her if he was ever going to be late, that he’d call Eisner’s little market up the street from their house and have someone deliver the message.
“Mama” said Salvador, “I’m going to go into town so I can call Lupe. She hasn’t been that well and I want her to know that I’ll be late—or should I stay over, mama, and go with you to the church in the morning?”
“No, you go home to Lupe,” said the old woman. “I don’t need your help Here, mi hijito. Everything is already done. Do you really think that I could have talked to the Almighty the way I did, if He hadn’t, in fact, already conceived that Thought inside of His Being? Remember, He is the Thought, we are the Doing. He is the Sea, we are the Wave. He is the Symphony, we are the Note. Everything is already Perfect Here, mi hijito. You go home and be with Lupe. Yours is the true test of my bringing the Devil and God Together, for you are in the midst of the storm of Living Life, la Vida. Go with my blessing, hijo de mi corazón. And when you get home, Lupe and you pray for me,” she added, making the sign of the cross over herself.
“We will,” said Salvador, hugging his mother, “we’ll pray with all our heart and soul.”
Then he was on his way and he was feeling ten feet tall! Oh, his old mama just knew how to bring Heaven down Here to Earth!
THAT EVENING when Salvador came into Carlsbad and turned in to the avocado orchard, he could feel a difference half an orchard away. The Father Sun was going down and the whole western sky was painted in beautiful colors of pink and gold. Lupe and their little dog, Chingon, came out to greet Salvador. It became a magic moment of hugs and kisses with the windows of their little casita all lit up behind them.
“Thank you for calling that you’d be late. That was wonderful, Salvador.”
“You’re welcome, querida. I didn’t want to cause you any worry after all you went through with the sheriff. My God, Lupe, we were making whiskey in the sheriff’s own house. Can you beat that?” Then it hit him like a rayo—a lighting bolt. “Lupe!” he yelled excitedly, “this is what my mother is t
Lupe had no idea what Salvador was talking about. It was quickly getting cold. The last of the Sun was blinking in and out of the avocado leaves as it slipped down into the sea.
“Hurry,” she said. “Come inside with me. I have a surprise to show you.”
Walking in, Salvador could smell something very delicious cooking. And there was a bright yellow canary singing in a cage.
“I bought a canary,” said Lupe, whistling to the bird. “Our mother always had one back home in her kitchen. And guess what, I’m cooking chiles rellenos again!”
“Oh, no,” he said, laughing.
“Oh, yes!” she said with conviction. “And this time, I know how to do it. I asked the woman at the grocery store. And she told me that I’d had the pan too hot last time, and that’s why they exploded.
“You know,” she said, turning down the fire a little on their two-burner camp stove, “because I’d eaten so many of my mother’s wonderful chiles rellenos, I thought that I knew how to cook them, but I didn’t. Okay, get back!” she now said. “Here comes the first chile! A big, fat, long one and he better not jump!”
Saying this, she put the stuffed chile into the sizzling pork lard, and the big green chile danced about the frying pan, but didn’t explode. No, it just settled in and began to cook in quick little jerks in the hot clean pork fat, singing a little hissing tune.
“I did it!” yelled Lupe excitedly.
“Yes, you did,” said Salvador.
“This is wonderful,” said Lupe. “But now, if only I can turn it over and cook it on the other side without it—oh, no, don’t do that, you lousy fat chile! You stay over there on that side of the pan,” ordered Lupe, “so that there’s room for me to get your friend into the pan, too.”