A Broken Fate by Cat Mann
Chapter 13
The F Word
I ran at the gym – four miles or more daily to try to stop the stress. My body started to hurt and scream in protest at overuse. I spent hours and hours in the study doing research, looking up anything that could possibly shed light on No. 7. But I always came up empty handed.
I started working with Andy for House to Home, making a few contacts and setting up some funding for a few events to be held in the spring, nothing time consuming or difficult. Andy suggested that I put work off and take more time to “get well.” But I assured him that the distraction from my thoughts was nice. I still had not actually gone in to the House to Home office to meet anyone. I preferred to stay put. Actually, I preferred to stay safe. I told Andy not to pay me at all, but he refused so I set up an account, arranged for the direct deposit of my paycheck and set up an automatic payout to the company as a charitable donation. The work was enjoyable; doing a little bit of good for someone else felt nice. I researched other organizations that were in need and set up donations. My mother had always donated to a few of the women’s shelters back in Chicago, so when she passed I decided to continue on with her monthly contributions as well.
No matter how hard I tried to focus on real time, I found that my mind sometimes wandered far away, trying to solve a puzzle Ari knew nothing about – the conundrum of who No. 7 might be, how I might identify him if he could appear in any form he chose, and how I would kill him.
I became so scared of my alone time that I began to wander over to Aggie’s. She and I didn’t talk much; I just liked the idea of having someone near me. I practiced the piano for what felt like hours, trying to get my fingers to do what I wanted them to do. I played until my fingers turned sore and stiff and the bitten ends bled. Then I began shutting myself in Ari’s old bedroom, crying under his bulk of pillows and blankets until I fell asleep.
“Ava.” Aggie spoke softly from the doorway. “Ava, Baby.”
“Mmm?” I moaned and removed the pillow from my eyes. Ari’s old bedroom was bright with the afternoon sun. I blinked several times.
“Ava, I have to run to the market. You’ll be alone for a bit. Andy will be back from work in about an hour or so.”
I sat up in the bed. “I’ll come with you.”
Aggie furrowed her brow. “Sure.”
Making my way to the guest bathroom, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red rimmed from crying, I was pale and my hair was uncombed. I tied it back in a knotted ponytail and washed my face. I didn’t have the energy to do more than that.
I walked into the kitchen and found Aggie waiting with her purse and keys in hand. Following her out to the garage, I climbed in the passenger seat of Aggie’s little Audi convertible. I wondered how she had room to squeeze in any groceries in the car’s tiny space.
Aggie had a Snow Patrol album on. Leaning forward in my seat, I turned the volume way down.
“I thought you liked Snow Patrol!”
“They're okay … I just don’t feel like listening to music.”
“Oh?” Aggie was trying to ease me into opening up and talking with her about my feelings.
I nodded and then looked out the window, putting an end to any discussion.
We pulled up to Ralph’s and I walked with Aggie up and down the aisles while she filled her cart. I spied the pharmacy.
“Can I refill my prescription while we are here?”
Aggie blinked at me. “Er… Do you want me to go to the pharmacy with you, Ava?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, Baby. Let me just grab some milk and we will walk over there together.”
“K.”
Aggie waited behind me as I talked with the pharm tech. I had to refill my birth control.
“Give us about ten minutes, Mrs. Alexander,” The pharm tech said with a nod, then walked away from the counter.
I turned around and Aggie raised an eyebrow at me. I took a seat in one of the bucket chairs in the pharmacy department and waited.
Aggie and I sat in an uncomfortable silence. After five minutes she spoke up. “I saw this cute idea on Pinterest the other day, Ava.”
“Oh?” I looked up at her.
Aggie smiled and pulled out her cell phone. “Yes, it would look awesome on your pool deck … ” Aggie carried on and showed me some picture she had pinned and I zoned off almost immediately. Thankful when the pharmacist finally called my name, I grabbed my renewed prescription and walked with Aggie to the check-out lane.
By the time we arrived back to our road, Ari was home. “Can you just drop me off at home, Aggie?”
She turned into my driveway and wound the car up to the front door. “Have Ari stop by later, would you?” She asked. “I need to talk to him.”
I nodded, grabbed my little white prescription bag and climbed out of the car.
Ari was waiting for me on the front porch step. He waved at his mom as she pulled out of the drive.
“Where were the two of you?”
“The market.”
Ari wrapped his arms around me in a hug and planted a kiss on my head. I immediately felt safe there in his arms.
We walked in the house together.
“How was your day?” He asked.
“Uneventful. Yours?”
“Same.” Ari nodded.
“Were you at my parent’s house long?”
“Mmm,” I muttered, making a noise that could be construed as either a yes or a no.
“What did you and my mom talk about?”
I racked my brain hard for a conversation Aggie and I had that day.
“Uh, Snow Patrol and, um, Pinterest.”
Ari squinted his eyes at me. “Ok, Baby I have a ton of work to do. I am heading to the study. I’ll check on you in a bit.” Ari kissed my forehead and disappeared down the hall. I brought my prescription back to our bathroom and unloaded the little pill container next to my sink. I walked back to the living room and plopped down on the sofa.
The F Word
I ran at the gym – four miles or more daily to try to stop the stress. My body started to hurt and scream in protest at overuse. I spent hours and hours in the study doing research, looking up anything that could possibly shed light on No. 7. But I always came up empty handed.
I started working with Andy for House to Home, making a few contacts and setting up some funding for a few events to be held in the spring, nothing time consuming or difficult. Andy suggested that I put work off and take more time to “get well.” But I assured him that the distraction from my thoughts was nice. I still had not actually gone in to the House to Home office to meet anyone. I preferred to stay put. Actually, I preferred to stay safe. I told Andy not to pay me at all, but he refused so I set up an account, arranged for the direct deposit of my paycheck and set up an automatic payout to the company as a charitable donation. The work was enjoyable; doing a little bit of good for someone else felt nice. I researched other organizations that were in need and set up donations. My mother had always donated to a few of the women’s shelters back in Chicago, so when she passed I decided to continue on with her monthly contributions as well.
No matter how hard I tried to focus on real time, I found that my mind sometimes wandered far away, trying to solve a puzzle Ari knew nothing about – the conundrum of who No. 7 might be, how I might identify him if he could appear in any form he chose, and how I would kill him.
I became so scared of my alone time that I began to wander over to Aggie’s. She and I didn’t talk much; I just liked the idea of having someone near me. I practiced the piano for what felt like hours, trying to get my fingers to do what I wanted them to do. I played until my fingers turned sore and stiff and the bitten ends bled. Then I began shutting myself in Ari’s old bedroom, crying under his bulk of pillows and blankets until I fell asleep.
“Ava.” Aggie spoke softly from the doorway. “Ava, Baby.”
“Mmm?” I moaned and removed the pillow from my eyes. Ari’s old bedroom was bright with the afternoon sun. I blinked several times.
“Ava, I have to run to the market. You’ll be alone for a bit. Andy will be back from work in about an hour or so.”
I sat up in the bed. “I’ll come with you.”
Aggie furrowed her brow. “Sure.”
Making my way to the guest bathroom, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red rimmed from crying, I was pale and my hair was uncombed. I tied it back in a knotted ponytail and washed my face. I didn’t have the energy to do more than that.
I walked into the kitchen and found Aggie waiting with her purse and keys in hand. Following her out to the garage, I climbed in the passenger seat of Aggie’s little Audi convertible. I wondered how she had room to squeeze in any groceries in the car’s tiny space.
Aggie had a Snow Patrol album on. Leaning forward in my seat, I turned the volume way down.
“I thought you liked Snow Patrol!”
“They're okay … I just don’t feel like listening to music.”
“Oh?” Aggie was trying to ease me into opening up and talking with her about my feelings.
I nodded and then looked out the window, putting an end to any discussion.
We pulled up to Ralph’s and I walked with Aggie up and down the aisles while she filled her cart. I spied the pharmacy.
“Can I refill my prescription while we are here?”
Aggie blinked at me. “Er… Do you want me to go to the pharmacy with you, Ava?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, Baby. Let me just grab some milk and we will walk over there together.”
“K.”
Aggie waited behind me as I talked with the pharm tech. I had to refill my birth control.
“Give us about ten minutes, Mrs. Alexander,” The pharm tech said with a nod, then walked away from the counter.
I turned around and Aggie raised an eyebrow at me. I took a seat in one of the bucket chairs in the pharmacy department and waited.
Aggie and I sat in an uncomfortable silence. After five minutes she spoke up. “I saw this cute idea on Pinterest the other day, Ava.”
“Oh?” I looked up at her.
Aggie smiled and pulled out her cell phone. “Yes, it would look awesome on your pool deck … ” Aggie carried on and showed me some picture she had pinned and I zoned off almost immediately. Thankful when the pharmacist finally called my name, I grabbed my renewed prescription and walked with Aggie to the check-out lane.
By the time we arrived back to our road, Ari was home. “Can you just drop me off at home, Aggie?”
She turned into my driveway and wound the car up to the front door. “Have Ari stop by later, would you?” She asked. “I need to talk to him.”
I nodded, grabbed my little white prescription bag and climbed out of the car.
Ari was waiting for me on the front porch step. He waved at his mom as she pulled out of the drive.
“Where were the two of you?”
“The market.”
Ari wrapped his arms around me in a hug and planted a kiss on my head. I immediately felt safe there in his arms.
We walked in the house together.
“How was your day?” He asked.
“Uneventful. Yours?”
“Same.” Ari nodded.
“Were you at my parent’s house long?”
“Mmm,” I muttered, making a noise that could be construed as either a yes or a no.
“What did you and my mom talk about?”
I racked my brain hard for a conversation Aggie and I had that day.
“Uh, Snow Patrol and, um, Pinterest.”
Ari squinted his eyes at me. “Ok, Baby I have a ton of work to do. I am heading to the study. I’ll check on you in a bit.” Ari kissed my forehead and disappeared down the hall. I brought my prescription back to our bathroom and unloaded the little pill container next to my sink. I walked back to the living room and plopped down on the sofa.