A Broken Fate by Cat Mann

  ****

  After dinner, everyone decided to get in the hot tub. I remembered reading in my pamphlets that hot tubs were off limits.

  “Umm … I’m gonna sit out with Max.”

  “Are you sure?” Ari asked with a frown.

  “I’m sure,” I smiled and nodded enthusiastically, “and young children aren’t supposed to be in hot tubs anyway.”

  Max nodded.

  “Mama. Baby,” he said. I picked him up and sat with him on the deck. I gave him a stern look and put my pointer finger up to my lips. Max and I sat together and read story books and once it got late enough, I took Max to his bed and then walked down the hall towards my own room for rest. The baby growing within me was demanding of my energy and left me quite fatigued. I slept the night away, peacefully and when I woke up in the morning, Max was playing the whisper game with Ari.

  “Mama. Baby.”

  “No Max, don’t wake Mama up; let’s let her sleep,” Ari whispered back to him.

  Phew… Ari didn’t understand.

  Ari and Max left to make breakfast and I snuggled more deeply in the pillows for a few more minutes of peace and quiet.

  Because Margaux was getting the baio summer line together, Ari was up to his elbows in work. He went into the office for a few hours and I had a chance to let my guard down. I sat and thought about the little baby that was on the way. I was terrified, nervous and worried. I had no idea what to expect out of pregnancy, but most of my worry revolved around the possibility that our baby would be burdened with the “scissor dream,” as Max puts it.

  Ari and I had discovered that when I miss a night on duty in my dream hospital, Max has to fill in, a reality I still can’t fathom for a three year old. I really didn’t want our children to have to deal with the life and deaths of our loved ones.