A Broken Fate by Cat Mann
****
I wrapped a silky, black robe tight around my body and opened our bedroom door to make a pot of coffee. It was early in the morning and the house was still dark. I took a step and walked straight into something hard and big. I yelped and held on to my shin.
“Why is there a box in front of my bedroom door?” I yelled at anyone who could hear me.
Rory came out of the kitchen and looked up at me.
“I got tired of tripping over it,” he said past a mouth full of cereal while holding up his shin to show me the giant bruise he had on it.
“Please put the box in the study for me, Rory. I don’t want it here,” I said, a little annoyed that he was already messing with my stuff.
“Fine,” he said, scooting the box a little more forcefully than necessary back down the hall, past the front door and into the study.
“Why don’t you just open it?” he asked when he came back.
“I don’t know. I just don’t feel like it – haven’t you ever been so lazy that you would rather avoid something than actually take the time to deal with it?”
“You know who you are talking to right? This is Rory after all,” Ari laughed as he walked out of our bedroom.
“Right. So I’m sure you can relate,” I said to Rory who was now lacing up his running shoes.
“You coming?” he asked, and started to stretch out his hamstring.
“Running!?” Finally, a perk to Rory as a roomie.
“Yes, running. Let’s go. I’m leavin’.”
“Give me a sec, I need to change.”
I turned and walked straight into Ari’s bare chest. He grabbed my shoulders and steadied me. “Are you sure that’s a safe idea?”
“It’s just running,” I said with an eye roll.
“Ava,” Ari closed his eyes. “The last time you ran out there you went missing for a week and came back to me broken, bloody and seriously messed up. Don’t forget, this issue with the Kakos family is not yet over. I don’t think it’s wise for you to go. ”
“I’ll be with her, Ari. I won’t let anything happen to her.”
Ari ran his hands through his hair.
I pouted and frowned.
Ari looked back and forth between Rory and me. He shook his head from side to side and sighed. “I’ll go along with you.”
“You want to run?” I asked Ari, thinking I had misunderstood him.
“Not particularly. I got all of the workout I need last night. But I want to keep you safe and happy. If this makes you happy then count me in. I don’t have to be in class for a few hours.”
“K!” I shouted and ran past him to the bedroom to dig out my Under Armour.
The three of us ran down the sandy beach. It was quiet and still a bit chilly for the November morning. The waves crashed hard against the shore. Ari stayed a few steps behind us and Rory gave him grief about not being able to keep up the pace. After the third or fourth insult Rory threw at Ari about being slow, weak or pathetic, Ari responded.
“I’m just enjoying the view, Roar.”
I turned around and caught Ari staring at my behind.
“Pervert,” I mouthed. He smiled playfully at me and winked.
“You know, Ava,” Rory huffed, “when Ari and I were young, I challenged him every day to race me. He has never, ever been able to outrun me … ever.”
“Rory, don’t put me in the middle of this.” I sighed and picked up my pace.
“What he’s not telling you, Baby, is that my mom bribed me to lose so Rory wouldn’t cry. Every time I let Rory win, she bought me new surf gear.”
“Nuh uh!” Rory yelled out angrily.
“Oops,” Ari smiled wickedly. “I thought you already knew that part of the story.”
Rory came to a halt on the beach. “You’re a liar.”
“I don’t lie, Roar, I think we both know that.”
“Hundred yards – right now.”
“Don’t do this to yourself, Rory.”
“No. I want this. Hundred yards. C’mon, Ari, let’s race.”
“No.”
“Why not?” Rory had turned mad.
“You don’t have anything I want. There is no challenge in this race. You don’t have anything to make this bet interesting. I am better than you in everything, Rory, and you know it. I don’t need to prove it.”
“You’re a dick.”
I coughed and sputtered at their exchange of words.
“No, I’m not. I'm just honest.”
“I’ll find something you want one day, Ari and you won’t get it until you race me and win.”
“That will never happen. Now, we have to get moving. I have class.”
Ari turned at three miles and headed back at his own leisurely pace a few feet behind Rory and me. Rory fumed and grumbled to himself the rest of the way back home.
The boys and Julia left for work and class and I was left alone. August and Collin were at Misha’s funeral services and were due to get home in the evening.
Aggie, who is a photographer, works only on shoots she finds interesting, so her work is sporadic. A favorite actor of Aggie’s was expecting a child and had contacted her for some pregnancy photos. Aggie was delighted and agreed to a photo-shoot in the woman’s home; it would keep her busy in L.A. all day.
I locked the doors and started on the task of calling contacts and setting up arrangements for the House to Home function that was in the works. The job was a lot more enjoyable than I thought it would be. I liked the idea of helping people. It gave me a purpose. Doing good helps me feel like a better person and the burden of having killed the Kakos was a strong and heavy one; it pulled me down every day and added psyche damage to go along with the remnants of my torture. Working for others was turning out to be another type of therapy, I suppose. It was helping me heal.
I thought about Misha and her struggles as I worked. So much sadness had surrounded an animated and beautiful person. I knew her last words to me were not spoken from the heart. Her anger had been misdirected and I was sad to know that I had not been able to help her. I had not been there for her as I should have been. I pulled up the website for the Newport rehab center she had been treated in and decided to make a donation in her name. I reached out to a facilitator at the center and after some discussion we agreed to plant a tree for Misha’s unborn child. Near the tree would be a bench that looked out towards sea. On the bench, they were going to add an engraving in memory of Misha.
Once the plans for Misha’s memorial were finalized, I felt a bit better and was able to concentrate back on my work for House to Home, which kept me busy until late in the afternoon.
I planned to make chicken enchiladas for dinner, Rory’s favorite. I could tell Ari had hurt Rory’s feelings earlier in the day and Rory perks up pretty quickly whenever food is involved. I started sautéing sweet peppers, red onions and jalapenos and jumped out of my skin when someone knocked at the back glass door. August was staring in at me.
I unlocked the door and allowed him in. “Salut.”
“Bonsoir.”
“How was … you know … everything? How are Misha’s parents holding up?”
“The weekend was sad. They are devastated.”
“I bet.”
He sat there at the counter for a bit and watched me cook. “I met Collin’s folks.”
I turned around and saw August smiling.
“Did you!?”
He nodded with glee.
“Looks like the meeting went well.”
“It did. I was nervous.”
“Nervous! Why? Collin’s nice; I am sure his parents would be, too.”
“Collin just came out a few months ago; having a gay son is still new to them, you know.”
“Oh … right.”
“They made us sleep in separate bedrooms.” August admitted.
I laughed aloud. “Don’t they know you two are living together?”
August nodded. “Yeah, they know. He told them, but not ev
“Hey! Don’t judge me. My mother would turn over in her grave if she knew Ari and I slept in the same bed before we were married.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“I loved him from the second I saw him. My heart knew where it belonged before I did.”
August rolled his eyes at me.
“Where is Collin anyway?” I asked.
August rubbed at the back of his head. “He’s next door at Gianna’s with Nick.”
“Ah.” I nodded and then changed the subject. “Your parents know you are gay, right?”
“Ava, please! They knew I was gay before I did.”
I laughed again.
“How did you tell them? How old were you when you knew?”
August shrugged. “I don’t know how old I was. I guess the same age everyone is when they start to think about sex and relationships, dating and life. I liked guys – simple as that. I didn’t really start to date until college. I told my parents my freshman year that I was gay and they were wonderful and supportive just as they always are about everything in my life. I am lucky to have them. They met Claude and liked him just fine. He and I had a serious relationship.”
“Was Claude your first?”
August gave me a shocked look.
“What, August? You know my whole sexual history! I am entitled to a bit of gossip about your own love life.”
“Yes, he was.”
“Did you love him?”
“I thought I did.”
“Do you love Collin?”
“I do.”
“Are you going to introduce him to your parents?”
“I’d like to.” August toyed with a bottle of wine that sat on the counter. “They may come out to California for a visit this summer, but Collin’s not been to Paris before so I would really like to take him there.”
I smiled brightly. “He’d love that.”
“Indeed.” August turned the wine bottle around in his hands to read the label and then held the bottle up to me. “I didn’t think you drank.”
“I don’t. It’s Ari’s.”
“Man’s got good taste.”
I pulled a wine glass down from the rack and handed August the corkscrew to help himself.
I heard the garage door rumble and then the slamming of car doors. Julia and Rory had come home and joined August and me in our conversation. Ari strolled through the door just in time for dinner and we all sat, ate my enchiladas and discussed our day.
The day had been long and I was starting to wind down. Ari was working in the study. I retreated to the bedroom, put on my favorite Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs album, took a long, piping-hot, shower, and rewarded myself with a mind-numbing game on Ari’s iPad. The battery was visibly wearing down and I knew he would have to charge it before he could use it for work. I had tried talking him into buying a new one so I could just have the old one, but I don’t think he liked that idea. He suggested I go back to using my MacBook.
As soon as Ari came into the room, he pointed to his iPad and said, “Don’t forget to put it on the charger tonight.”
I gave him a pouty face and he laughed and plugged it in for me as I rolled over, making room for him to get in bed. I had retired Ari’s underwear as sleeping attire and opted instead on a silk, light pink, baby doll camisole. It was soft against my skin, innocent enough to keep the blush off my cheeks but still sexy.
My cell phone alarm sounded indicating that I needed to take my daily birth control pill. Ari knew the drill. He picked up my phone and silenced the alarm. He headed to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and washed his face then came back to my side holding a pill and a glass of water.
“Thanks.”
He stood there for a moment and rubbed at his cheeks.
“Uh,” he began, and then stopped again.
“What?” I asked.
He took a deep breath, and then sighed, “did you refill your birth control prescription in front of my mother last month?”
I blinked my eyes trying to think of the last time I went to the pharmacy. “Yeah. She was there. I rode with her to Ralph's.”
Ari sighed. “Don’t do that again.”
“Why not?”
“She had me come over to her house to talk about it – it was the same night you had … ” Ari rubbed at his cheeks. “It was the same night as your anxiety attack.” He pointed to the closet.
“Talk about what?” I snapped.
“To talk about you being on the pill, Ava.”
“You cannot be serious!”
“She and my dad want grandkids. She told me to get you off the pill. I told her we wanted to enjoy our marriage a bit first.”
“She told you to get me off the pill! I can’t believe her!” I was seething mad. “Birth control is my right as a woman, Ari! It’s no one’s business but my own. She has some nerve!” I ripped the blankets off my legs and pushed off the bed. I was going to march over there and give that woman a piece of my mind once and for all.
“Calm down! I agree with you. Chill! My mother just doesn’t have to know about it anymore … ok?”
I rolled my eyes. “Why don’t you just get it over with and tell her we aren’t having kids?”
Ari clenched his jaw. “I want kids, Ava. We can give it some time and revisit the conversation later on down the road.”
I stared angrily at the wall with my arms crossed tightly across my chest.
“Well … since you're already mad at me, I may as well get this over with, too. Margaux just called me. She invited us to a dinner party next Saturday night and she really wants us to be there.”
My jaw went slack. “Whaaat?” I asked, drawling the word out. “No way, I'm not going.”
“Ava, we have to go; she’s your grandmother and she’s my boss.”
“She isn’t really my grandmother, and you can just quit.”
He laughed a little but I could tell he wasn’t in the mood for a fight over this.
“Ava, come on … you know you haven’t seen her in ages and you didn’t even call her on Thanksgiving. I think her feelings were hurt.”
“Phones work both ways, Ari.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. But, Ava, we have to go. It’s the right thing to do. She really wants to see you.”
“I can’t,” I said racking my brain for an excuse. “I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Is that the best you have?” He rolled his eyes at my lack of creativity. “We both know you have plenty of things to choose from. Please don’t act like this.”
“Fine, whatever; but you are going to owe me big for this. Huge.”
“Ava, it's just a dinner.”
“Yeah, Ari; it's a dinner with Satan in a very fiery realm of hell!”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” he replied in a harsh tone as he finally got under the covers. I moved away from him, over to the never-used far side of the bed. I had never, ever done that before.
“You can’t be serious,” I heard him mutter under his breath.
“Oh, but I am,” I said, matching his nasty tone. “And tell your mom to stay the hell out of my damn business!”
I fell asleep on the firm part of the mattress with very cold toes.