Perfectly Imperfect by Harper Sloan
Yup. Me.
When Kyle died, regardless of the fact that Kane had made peace with the fact he would never have a relationship with his brother again, it still cut him deep. He sunk into a depression, and I didn't know how to help. Weeks of chopped conversations, nightmares, and eventually silence. I had no idea how to help him get past that. Until Mia. She decided I needed to help him see the good things in life, or more specifically, give him something that would shock him enough to move on and remember the happier times.
Kane didn't even notice that I had left him alone for the first time in weeks, but he sure did take notice when I slapped one of the most popular entertainment magazines down in front of him a week later. Mia had reached out to the editor, a friend of hers, and explained that I was interested in doing an interview. Not just an interview, but also a bare all expose of myself--in lingerie of all things. I had just stood there, sputtering my shock, seconds away from passing out in panic ... until she explained to the editor that this would be an inspirational piece that would show the struggles with body image, self-hate, and finally overcoming it. Hearing her put it that way--even though I was still absolutely terrified about being photographed in skimpy underwear--the thought of helping just one person who felt the way I used to pushed me to go through with it.
She had been right, God love her. Not only did Kane snap out of it when faced with his very bare girlfriend on the front page of the most popular tabloid magazine around, but also he had been so turned on by my confidence that he didn't leave the bedroom for two more days. Locking himself away for a whole different reason. And I enjoyed every rough, sweaty, arousing moment of it.
Since that interview, I had gone from the woman who may have broken up the rumored Kane and Mia relationship to a woman who became the face of learning to love your own skin. It was weird, and uncomfortable, at times, but every single letter I got from someone who told me that my story helped them to heal made it worth every second.
It was then that Ivy and Dominic made their final strike. We knew it would probably happen, especially after his attempt to keep the Logan Agency afloat on Kane's coattails had failed. Ivy had tried to sell a story to some low-rate tabloid that I had never had my so-called body issues. She claimed the true story was that I had been a bully to her making her so insecure that she paid thousands in plastic surgery to 'correct' the things I had told her were ugly.
That backfired terribly when numerous of the employees of the now bankrupt and closed down Logan Agency had come forward to not only deny, but also turn it back on Ivy, Dominic, and even my ex-husband, Brad.
I shouldn't have been happy that they not only failed but also lost everything. I shouldn't have spent a whole night drinking with Kane, Kirby, Eddie, and Kole. I probably shouldn't have cared at all.
But I did. I'm not proud of it, but I celebrated karma's brilliance in a drunken rage of laughter, facemasks, and nail polish.
So even though the last year and a half has held a lot of ups and downs, I'm so happy that it's ridiculous.
I was going to pass out.
It's quite possible I might actually puke, which would be absolutely horrifying given our current surroundings.
I look to my right and take in the calm man sitting next to me. He looks almost bored, which makes no sense because I know he's been a ball of nervous excitement all day.
This was so much easier the other times we found ourselves seated in a darkened theater, surrounded by the who's who of the entertainment world. Not once did I feel the need to purge my nerves in a very disgustingly graphic way. Of course, last year we were sitting here for another film for which Kane's acting had been nominated. It's so much different now that we're here for Impenetrable. Not only because it's a film we're both insanely proud of, but because for Kane, this is the first time he's been nominated for his screenplay and directing.
'Award season' was like nothing I had expected. The red carpet was a full-speed chaos-filled madness of shouts, flashes, and small interviews. I played my part and stuck by Kane's side. I smiled when I was told to pose, and I stepped back to the side when Kane's new PR rep told him to turn on his charm and talk about Impenetrable, a film that climbed the charts in a frenzy of popularity. I don't think anyone was shocked when the nominations started rolling in.
So now here I sit, waiting as the names are being announced for the director award category. I can't even enjoy the moment long enough to freak out about the two stars chatting away on stage.
Nope.
I'm about to freak out.
Alessandra had already won the first award of the night, given for Lead Actress in a Motion Picture, just as I knew she would. I swear Kane had tears in his eyes when he gave the younger actress a hug. I know I did. We didn't win the nomination that the film had in the Lead Actor category. I could tell that Logan was bummed, but the reality is that even though he's now one of the most lusted over young actors, Alessandra stole the film and everyone knows it. The emotions she was able to bring to the surface, the power in which she broke before she healed were exceptional in their brilliance.
And we were still over the moon excited when that award went to Kole. So even though I know Kane would have loved to take another win for Impenetrable, when Kole stepped around me and hugged his brother before taking the stage, I could tell all thoughts of his own film not winning were gone.
When Best Screenplay was up, I wasn't as nervous as I am now. I clapped like a mad woman and silently wiped the tears when Kane took the stage to give his acceptance speech. He left the stage with a wink toward where I was seated in the darkened audience just as a seat filler had sat down. I was--thankfully--used to this from last year, but it's still weird to have some stranger sit next to you just so there are no empty seats. I don't think I'll ever understand Hollywood.
I know that winning for Best Screenplay was an incredible honor, but I felt like all of my eggs were sitting in the basket of unease for his next nomination. This film is his baby. Something that eerily matched my own life, a fact Kane had not missed. So while all the other awards are something to be so proud of, the one for Best Director is not only proof that the film had been a phenomenal success, but also gives Kane the validation that he's not just an actor.
He's created this film word for word.
He crafted its beauty.
And he deserves this moment.
Which is why by the time he had finished his behind the scenes obligations, I had hit a whole new high in my anxiety. Why does this have to be one of the last awards of the night? I've sat here for hours about to come out of my skin in sick anticipation.
His hand squeezes mine when they say his name, giving away his unease. I know the exact moment the camera must be showing us to all the viewers watching on television because I feel a rush confidence from his body. I look over, making sure I have a smile on my nerve-stricken face, and watch my man work the camera angled his way from the aisle. You would never guess how much he wants this by the easy, handsome smirk on his face.
"And the Golden Globe for Best Director, motion picture, goes to," the female voice says, her voice echoing around us.
Oh, God.
"Kane Masters for Impenetrable!"
"Oh, God!" I exclaim, jumping up at the same time that he slowly stands.
When he turns to me, I smile at him through the tears running down my face. His lazy smile grows, dimple comes out, and he wraps his arms around me before giving me a hard press with his lips against mine.
"I'm so proud of you," I whisper, just for him, before I shove him playfully into the aisle.
I can see his broad shoulders moving as he chortles, walking toward the stage with so much power in his controlled steps. Each one that he takes so sure and steady, as if he isn't facing one of the biggest recognitions in his career right now. I don't know how he isn't skipping down there while sobbing like a baby. Okay, so Kane isn't a skipper or a sobber, but still. I have apparently decided to take over the sobbing in happiness
I watch him hug both of the presenters before turning toward the audience, his deep laugh of disbelief as he holds the award up in reverence. I swipe at my face, removing the tears from my vision so I can memorize this moment. He brings his free hand up to run it through his hair, losing that messy-like perfection that his stylist had created. I'm sure if the camera were to show my wet, makeup ruined face, Kirby would be throwing things at the television, which I hope isn't the case since I'm a fan of the ninety-inch screen in Kane's media room. I can only imagine the elation flowing through that room now with Kirby, Eddie, Kane's parents, Mia, and little Milo making it party central.
Kane's shoulders pull back, and I know he's trying to control his emotions, but when he looks up from the award and into the crowd, I know he's losing.
"When we started filming Impenetrable, I had no doubts in this film. I knew that we were creating magic, and hopefully, through Allison's journey, we were creating freedom. Freedom for every person who is fighting the battles she did. We had filmed for a solid two months when the magnitude of that hit me. I believed in my film, the actors, and the message, but it wasn't until I witnessed the reality of becoming impenetrable that I was able to truly see its brilliance. At that moment, I knew this wasn't and would never be just a film to me. Not when I still have the very definition of it living in my guest house fifty yards away."
My body heaves when his meaning becomes clear and with a loud sob, my hand comes to my mouth and those darn tears leak again. I think back to the moment he's talking about when I first sat down next to him on the set in Georgia.
He continued with his speech, thanking his cast, production team, and everyone within Kane Entertainment for all of their hard work on the film. His little jokes making my hand fall and my smile grow. I'm finally able to breathe again when it looks as if he's about to stop talking. The pride for him at this moment is insurmountable.
"And lastly, to my beautiful Willow," he starts, looking toward my direction again, searching. "Without you by my side, I don't think that I would have been able to make Impenetrable as powerful as I know it is. I'm the luckiest man in the world right now. Well, almost."
He bizarrely stops talking as a secretive grin fills his face. He continues to look in my direction, and when he steps away from the mic, turning toward the stage stairs instead of following the presenters and that fancy dressed award show version of a traffic director, he stomps back down the aisle. He's headed back to where I'm seated as a dull roar of whispers starts filling the shocked theater.
"What in the world is he doing?" I gasp and look to my left at a very smug looking Kole.
"My guess is this would be another one of those embarrassingly romantic grand gesture things he seems to be so fond of."
"What?" I gasp again, turning back toward the advancing Kane. Kole continues to let out deep grunts of laughter as Kane takes the last few steps, stopping in the aisle directly in front of me and causing the seat filler to hurry out of the way.
He hands his brother the shining gold award, my eyes tracking its movements before looking back up to his face, only to find him no longer standing.
What the heck?
The room goes electric as the whispers turn into a mix of shocked gasps and excited cheers. I feel Kane grab my hand, and I look around the room before my shocked eyes move down to where Kane is now kneeling in front of me.
On one knee.
With his hand holding one of mine and the other hand in the air.
Holding a ring twinkling from the lights dancing off it between his fingers.
An engagement ring.
Oh. My. God.
"Kane," I breathe in shock.
His smile brightens. "Well? How about you help me out here and make one of the greatest nights in my life even better. It's time to move out of that damn guest house and marry me."
"Is that a question?" I blurt.
He throws his head back and lets out a booming laugh. "Willow Elizabeth Tate, I love you. Will you marry me?"
I start nodding before he's even finished, and his smile grows even larger. I feel him slip the cold metal on my finger and then I'm in his arms. His hands cradling my face as he takes my lips in a deep kiss.
When he lifts his head, his lips dance across mine. "You're finally moving out of my guest house?"
"Oh, yeah." I giggle.
"Tonight, we celebrate in our bed."
I know the crowd can't hear his words, but he's once again giving the world confirmation of our relationship with one heck of a show. God, I love this man. I throw my head back and laugh with so much carefree abandon. He steps away, takes his award back from Kole, and with a nod to his brother, he turns and walks back toward where the producers are about to go insane to move him backstage. They might have been annoyed by his show-stealing moment, but when the ratings hit, they'll be thanking him for running over the allotted time.
They cut to a break seconds after Kane disappeared from view, and when the seat warmer drops back down in the seat she scampered out of when Kane came stomping toward us, I jump. The stranger is clearly frazzled by the turn of events. I give her a wobbly smile before looking down at my hand and the ring that now adorns it.
"I would say that's about as grand as it gets, sister," Kole whispers.
I turn to him and the feelings of overwhelming happiness that roll through my body make me feel like I'm the winner of every single award given out tonight.
The smile that fills my happy, tear-filled face doesn't falter once for the remainder of our evening. When Kane takes the stage once again with his cast and they collectively accept the award for Best Motion Picture, it still doesn't fade. I clap and beam up at the man who truly has proven to the world that when you believe in the possibility of becoming impenetrable, you can overcome anything and win.
I, Willow Tate, soon-to-be Masters, have truly won.
I have the love of the greatest man and his family. But most of all, I have the love of my own self and each and every perfectly imperfect moment I've lived, loved, and won.
The End.
Thank yous...
To my family. Always to my family. You love me even when I'm overcome with voices and locked away in the office. When I come out a few days later confused about the sun shining or what day it is, you still love me. To the late night dance parties in my office while I work and even raiding my candy stash - you guys make every moment a little brighter. I wouldn't be able to do any of this without you.
To Felicia Lynn. I kind of like you, Cinderella. I mean, even though you are STILL pressuring me to cuddle you (even after I put it in print that it would never happen) I'll keep you around. Let's face it, if I didn't, who would I feed to the zombie bears in my woods when I took a break in the middle of the night? Seriously though, you make late night writing marathons so much more fun. Put up with my freeze out temps, AND love me even though I'm crazy. Win win.
To Sommer Stein. I never have the right words to tell you how much you mean to me. When I came to you with PI and basically just said 'no people on this cover, have fun' I knew you would knock it out of the park. You have created NINE stunning covers for me, but this one...this one is ALL your brain child and I can't thank you enough for creating something so stunningly PERFECT.
To Stacey Blake. I'm so blessed to have you on my side. I always know, no matter what, when I send you my final manuscript to format that the end result will be a piece of art in itself. You, my love, are amazing.
To Jenny Sims. Thank YOU for taking Perfectly Imperfect and dealing with the insane deadlines that I seem to always find myself in. And for all the little things that you do during the editing process that make it so much easier when I get the edits back. You rock, girlfriend.
To Lara Feldstein and Hollie Stubblefield. You guys read my 'baby' every step of the way. Put up with me every single time that I told you I changed this or that. I couldn't imagine this p
To Kim Ginsberg and her eagle eye. Hey - at least I learned my lesson about TOWARDS! Thank you for giving PI a whirl, you rock!
To Sofie Hartley. Where do I even start with you? Thank you. Not just for loving PI - but for once again making teasers that look so beautiful I just want to look at them all day. And let's not forget One Direction GIFs. I mean, that right there...
To Emma Hart and Rachel Brooks. Thank you for reading PI before it was released. For believing in a story that means the world to me and being willing to pause your insanely busy lives to meet Willow and Kane. My love for you two is huge.
To each and every reader that took a chance on a standalone and a cast that was completely unknown. It's because of the love that I've always gotten from my amazingly loving readers that gave me the strength to tell this story. One that is so personal to my own struggles that I never thought that it would see the light of day. You guys...you make me push myself to heights that I never thought possible. So, my biggest thank you of all goes to you. Each one of you.
And...to Willow.
You've lived inside of me for so long that I think it became easier to live with you than to face you. But, Willow, you have taught me so much during each and every one of these 110K words. I hope and pray that by setting you free, you can teach and help others that might have a little of you hiding inside of them as well.
xoxo
Harper Sloan, Perfectly Imperfect
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