Perfectly Imperfect by Harper Sloan
"Why not you, Will?" Eddie snaps. "Do you even see how attractive you are? No, I guess you don't, seeing as you keep hiding under clothes that are too big for your body and you go out of your way to downplay your beauty. You, Willow, are stunning, and if I have to drag you down South myself just so that Kane can help you realize that, I will, dammit!"
"Well said, Eddie!" Kirby exclaims and reaches out to slap his outreached palm in a high-five.
"This can't be real. I can't be ... I can't do ... I can't be that person he thinks I am." I wheeze in panic.
"What exactly do you think he wants you to be?"
"Some sort of play toy? He's known to be a playboy, Kirby. Whatever weird fascination he has with me will pass and I'll be left to pick up the pieces. I'm not one of those perfect women who belong at his side. Oh God, maybe he wants me to be the other woman!"
"Just shut up!" Eddie snaps. "I'm so sick of you thinking you aren't worthy. Honey, I get it. Kirby gets it. I used to be overweight too. You know I struggled with my self-perception for years, but Willow, you need to stop. I am so sick of watching you destroy yourself because you aren't willing to see your worth. You're stronger than that. You've come so far since that douchebag Brad."
"He's right," Kirby interjects. "I might not have to deal with the body issues like you two do and have, but being on the smallest side of skinny, I've always had to deal with people laughing at me because I was so small. There isn't just one way for a body to be for someone to have confidence issues, Willow. You don't see how beautiful you are because you're too busy hiding to avoid more pain."
I wipe the tears that have begun burning down my cheeks and take in my two best friends. They're right. I know they are. But I've also had years of behavior that is hard to shake just because I know they have a point. I've been in this position before when an attractive man paid attention to me, and I've been picking up the pieces since. It's hard to trust the strength I've worked so hard to obtain and take a chance when it could cause me much more pain than Brad did. I have a feeling a man like Kane Masters would leave an emotional scar more painful than any physical marking if it went the same way as my last relationship.
"He's met me twice, guys. Twice when I've been at some of my lowest of lows. How do you expect me to believe he saw something sexy enough to pursue during those times?"
Kirby smiles sadly. "Because, like us, he can see past all the bullshit and just see you. The Willow who is stunning inside and out. Let me ask you something. Can you honestly sit here and tell me that if you turn this opportunity down, you won't regret it?"
No, I can't, and she knows it.
"This whole situation is so far out of my comfort zone that I'm terrified down to my bones. He. Is. Terrifying."
"Sweet Willow." Eddie laughs. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that life starts at the end of your comfort zone? When you break free of the fears that have held you back, you're going to be free to fly, and that, honey, is when you're going to find the happiness you deserve. But you have to start somewhere. You have to push that fear aside and just wing it--trusting you will never be alone should you fall."
With a deep breath, I do just as Eddie suggested. Despite the fear clawing at my insides, I look at Kirby and tell her that I'll be on that flight with her Monday. This is my chance to prove to myself that I'm not the weak Willow of my past. Take a chance, they say. Well, maybe they're right. It's time I take the last remnants of the old me and be the strong person I know I can be.
"Willow?" Eddie questions softly.
Turning, I look into his eyes. "Yeah?"
"You've come so far, honey. Promise me that you'll try and look over those walls you've trapped yourself inside."
I nod, not trusting my voice. Eddie reaches up and brushes the lone tear that trails down my cheeks. "I'm ready, Eddie. As scary as that is ... I promise to go into this adventure with an open mind."
"Even if that adventure takes you to Kane?" he asks softly.
I take a fortifying breath before speaking, a small smile playing across my lips. "Even if," I promise.
I'm going to be sick with worry all week wondering if I've made a huge mistake, but they're right. I would regret this if I said no, and maybe, just maybe, this is what I need to find some happiness.
I'M GOING TO BE SICK.
My nerves are going haywire, and ever since our plane took off from JFK, I've been a jittery mess. By the time we touched down in Atlanta, I would have been a certifiable mess had it not been for Alli, Kirby's daughter. Her excitement has been a blessing of distraction. Keeping me company during our short flight, we gossiped and talked every minute that the plane was in the air. Watching her enthusiasm over this 'vacation' has worked to ease some of my nerves, but not all of them. At this rate, by the time we land and make it to our temporary housing courtesy of Masters Entertainment, I'll have no nails left on any of my fingers.
Following Kirby's lead, I went with jeans and a simple tee shirt with a light jacket. Both of us being born and raised in New York, we weren't sure what to expect from early fall in Georgia. From what we could tell, weather there was in the low seventies, but from what Kirby's husband said, add the humidity and you never know what you'll get. The weather in the South is a crapshoot.
I had never been to the airport here in Atlanta. From the second we debarked the plane, it's been insanity. Their transit system used to travel from point A to B within their massive airport was a rush of tired bodies. And the escalators toward the baggage claim seem to be sending us to the heavens. Add that to the feeling of hundreds of people pushing their way out of the airport and I couldn't help but feel a little out of place. I'm used to crowds--we're no stranger to them in New York City--but here, with all of us being carted up to the mysterious top level of these never-ending stairs to heaven, it's taken to a whole new level. I'm pretty sure the older businessman behind me just sniffed my hair, and Alli's Barbie backpack is digging uncomfortably into my stomach.
I hate escalators. I swear they're just a step above some sort of barbaric torture device.
What a great way to start this little adventure.
"This way, Will," Kirby tells me loud enough to be heard over the people swarming around us like bees.
I follow the finger she's pointing toward the long line of people waiting behind some weird barricade and see the group of bad suit wearing men holding iPads with names displayed on their screens.
"There, on the end," I hear Alli's melodious voice exclaim, pointing just like her mother.
How they can see around all these bodies is beyond me. I can't even say it's because Kirby is a few inches taller than my five-foot-seven. If Alli can see whatever it is then I'm just lacking brain function today.
We walk around a few hugging couples and groups of families welcoming home their loved ones. I feel a twinge in my chest knowing I won't ever have something like that, but really, if having the two most negative people out of my life means I won't have a crying family to welcome me home, then I consider that a win on my end.
I almost run Kirby over when she abruptly stops walking. I look up and catch her smile at the tall man before her. He's like a human wall of muscle and intimidation. But, if judging by his all-black clothing, he and I could be good friends.
The man before us, despite being indoors, has dark glasses shielding his eyes.
"Are you from the Men in Black?" Alli asks in awe, her tiny body almost tipping over to look up at this giant man.
His head dips down and a ghost of a smile tickles his lips before he shakes his head. "Nope."
"You should be. You're huge! I bet you could kick some serious alien butt."
"Alli, language," Kirby scolds.
"Seriously, Mom? I said butt not a-s-s."
Even with all my nerves, Alli's sass brings a bubble of laughter up and through my lips, followed by one loud snort. And, as simple as that, all eyes in our little group are on me.
Giant Man in Black looks over briefly and smirks before add
"Right-o, hulk ... lead the way," Kirby jokes.
His lips stay curled in a barely-there smile while we walk through the baggage claim area and make our way to the carousel that holds our flight's luggage. It doesn't take long before we have two carts full of bags. Because Rob and Alli are staying for the week, we have a considerable amount of luggage.
"Could you have packed any more, Kirb?" I joke, heaving her fifth suitcase up and onto the cart.
"Hey, you could have waited for hulk to lift that one. I think that's all shoes."
"One suitcase, Kirb. That's all I have with me. All I need. How the heck do you really think you're going to need eight of these suckers when you'll be flying back and forth from here to New York? You can just get new stuff when you go home." I pull my hair tie out and readjust what was a sleek ponytail into a knot on the top of my head. "I'm sweating," I complain. "I bet I smell. Oh, crap. We're going to the house first, right?"
"Yes, Ms. Tate. The house is where we're headed next."
"Okay, good. I can shower. Then what, Kirby?"
"Calm down, babe." She laughs. "From what Sam said in our correspondence over the week, today is our day to get settled, but he would be by at some point to make formal introductions."
"To whom?" I ask stupidly knowing darn well what the answer will be.
Kirby annoyingly just shrugs her shoulders and with a smirk, pulls her sunglasses from her large purse before turning and following Cam's lead.
So, this is how she's going to play it.
"Do we have time to stop and grab some fast food real quick?" Kirby inquires, and I cringe.
Fast food is on the long list of foods I avoid at all costs. Covered in oversaturated sodium, usually deep fried, and always bad for me. Hopefully, Kirby wasn't paying attention during our short flight, and I can pass on food without raising any of her red flags.
Hiding how little I eat is becoming a full-time job. I eat; I don't think my regimen would be considered an eating disorder, but it's far from healthy. I skip breakfast, lunch is usually a protein bar or something equally light, and since I'm alone at dinner, I usually just nibble on a salad and carrot sticks. I keep telling myself that after the next ten pounds I lose, I'll start eating more. But that's been going on for the last twenty I've shed ... so I'll stick to what I know for a little longer while I get down to my goal weight.
"Right this way," Cam says and points to the two sleek black SUVs right outside the door. "Ms. Evans, if you would, you and your family can go ahead and get settled." He directs Kirby, Rob, and Alli to the first big black vehicle before guiding me to the one behind it. "Mrs. Evans was nice enough to warn us that she would have a considerable amount of luggage with her, and with this many bags, it's necessary that we have two. If you'll follow me, you'll meet back up with Mrs. Evans when we arrive at your house."
"Kirb?" I call, twisting my fingers together in my lap.
"It's time to start that life, my little creature of comfort. Just jump right out of that zone you've been stuck in." She winks, and I want to throttle her for throwing Eddie's words back in my face.
I look back and forth between the two cars and take a deep, steadying breath. Okay, enough of this scared Willow. It's time to live your life and live it for yourself. It's time to stop worrying about what others think of you. Time to stop living in the fear of upsetting someone because you're your own person and to hell with what anyone thinks.
One step in front of the other.
I give Cam a smile, one I actually feel with the lightness in my step, and move toward the second vehicle. He follows behind and opens the back door, offering his hand to help me step up onto the shiny metal step before I place my bottom down and move to swing my legs inside.
"Thank you, Ca-- oh, crap." The smile I had dies and the calm I had been feeling packs up and says to heck with this.
"Hello, Willow."
I close my eyes. Crap. Crap. Crap.
He laughs, the sound deep and rough. I feel that sinfully dangerous sound all the way between my legs, causing me to push my knees together and bite the inside of my cheek.
"Do I make you nervous, Willow?"
"Yup," I answer, the end making a loud pop in the silence around us.
"I promise I won't bite," he jokes then adds almost as an afterthought, "That is, unless you ask me to."
My eyes snap open, and I look into the crystal blue eyes of Kane Masters. The dark stubble dancing across the sharp planes of his jaw don't mask the laugh lines around his thick lips or the small, almost inconspicuous dimple in his left cheek. His thick hair is unruly, as if he's run his fingers through it a few dozen times.
He's utterly perfect.
And I'm sitting in front of him rumpled from travel, sweaty from hustling through the busy Atlanta airport, and just a big, hot mess.
I'm the imperfect to his perfect.
"Crap," I grumble.
SHE'S STUNNING. I STUDY HER as we travel down the interstate and leave her to her silence for the moment.
That familiar spark started zapping between us the second her eyes connected with mine. Hell, it started before then. When I watched her walk through the sliding doors and toward the vehicle I was forced to wait in, I felt it. Everything I had once again started to wonder if I made up with the hopefulness of finally finding someone who I felt was worth pursuing was confirmed the second she pulled her body into the truck. Her scent, sweet ... peaches ... wraps around me like a drug I feel in the tightening of my pants.
Exquisite.
And she has no clue.
"Willow?" I question, hoping I can get her eyes back on me.
I watch as her shoulders straighten and her gaze leaves its study of the busy traffic on I-85. She visibly collects herself before turning and finally giving me those eyes.
"Kane," I tell her and hold my hand out toward her.
She jumps, looking back and forth between my hand and my face for a few beats before timidly placing her palm against mine with a small laugh.
"Will--" Pausing, she clears her throat before continuing. "Willow. As you obviously already know." She offers a little sass I wasn't expecting, betraying her unease.
"Yeah, that I do." My fingers rub the inside of her wrist and a fire-like whisper burns up my arm just from that small contact. Not unaffected herself, I watch her body shudder slightly.
Nice, Kane.
We don't speak, and I don't make any moves to release her hand. It doesn't take long for her pale cheeks to start turning pink and for those eyes to drift from mine. Embarrassing her again is the last thing I want to do, the very last. I release her hand, feeling the loss of her touch instantly.
"I apologize for not being able to meet you in the airport. It would have been a disaster had I stepped out of the truck."
I get her eyes quickly before she looks down at her hands now resting in her lap. "I understand. It wouldn't be good to be seen with me ... I mean us," she softly says.
What was that?
"I'm afraid you have the wrong impression of me, Willow. It's me not wanting to start a madhouse when I'm recognized. It has nothing to do with being seen with anyone. Have no doubts that being seen with you wouldn't cause me the least bit of unease. We should probably clear that up right now. You're going to see a lot of me, Willow," I tell her. Unwilling to be bereft of her touch, I reach out to pull one of her worrying hands from her lap and grasp it between mine again. I notice the difference as I turn her hand over to study how delicate her tiny hands look between my rough, long fingers. "I can tell you're nervous, but at the risk of making you more uncomfortable, I'll just lay it out there. I want you, Willow. And I intend to have you, so you should probably get the thought that I don't want to be seen with you right out of your head. I will be seen with you."
She gasps and moves to pull
"I can tell you are either not used to men being so blunt or you are genuinely unaware of the spell you've cast on me. I know you feel it too, Willow. A connection that strong can't be a fluke, nor can it be one-sided."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she evades.
"Your eyes," I tell her.
"Excuse me?"
"Your eyes. They don't lie. The last two times we've been in the same room, your pupils dilate until they almost completely cover all that deep brown color that's haunted me since the first time I saw them years ago." I watch shock color her face at my words. Choosing to ignore the question in her eyes at the mention I've seen her before, I continue. "You know that feeling you get that causes your skin to dance with goosebumps? You can't sit here and tell me that feeling is a lie. The rush of pink to your skin, the way your breathing speeds up--all of it, Willow. I see it all now just as I did then and trust me when I tell you, I felt it too and it's been on my mind since."
"Years ago?" she questions.
"Yes."
"When? I would have remembered that."
"Perhaps," I evade.
Her eyes narrow when I don't answer. "You don't even know me, Kane."
"I don't need to know you for my body to want yours. Getting to know who you are on the inside will just be the added bonus."
Her expression hardens slightly and that light pink blush turns a shade darker. Anger? At me?
"So you just want sex?"
How did we get here? I decided going into this that honesty would be my best path with her. Well, as honest as I can be.
"I would be lying to you if I said I haven't thought about it, often, but I'm not after cheap thrills here, Willow. I'm not that guy."
"According to just about every tabloid and member of the media, that's exactly the type of guy you are. You don't do relationships, or at least you haven't publicly had one during the span of your career, until recently. Or so they say. You aren't seen with anyone who isn't the picture of perfection and that includes your girlfriend. So forgive me, Kane, if I don't buy this for one second. Did someone put you up to this? Some sort of sick job at my expense? Does your girlfriend know? I bet they all got a good laugh." She trails off, and I watch as a look of horror takes over her features. "Oh God, did you even really have a job for Kirby? Is that part of this prank? There's no way she knew. She would never do that to me."