Sweet Fall by Tillie Cole
“Good. Now on the count of three, I’ll move my hand. Just remember, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m hiding out here too. You give your word you won’t scream?” I asked.
Soft hair rubbed at the bare skin of my neck as she nodded her head in agreement, releasing a small agreeable whimper.
“Okay, one… two… three…” I said quietly and slowly removed my hand. The chick took a deep breath, stepping away, and turned around to face me. Even in the darkness, I could see a pair of huge pale-green eyes, almost turquoise, peering up at me.
Shit. I knew those eyes.
Was haunted by those eyes.
The chick, on sensing my reaction, stepped closer still. A light blared outside, creeping in from the gap under the door, creating a dull yellow glow in the summerhouse. From this close distance, I could make out her face. It was her, and by her startled reaction, I knew she had realized it was me.
“A-Austin?” she stuttered in question. She didn’t seem happy about my presence. Good, because I wasn’t exactly happy about hers. “I-I didn’t know you’d be in here. I just didn’t want to be questioned by the dean again. Saw this place and decided to hide out until it was over. I-I’m sorry. I’ll leave… I—”
Bypassing where she stood, and ignoring her stumbling, terrified apology, I silently made my way to the couch and sat down. This was all I fuckin’ needed.
From my peripheral vision, I could see she was still standing at the door, rocking on her feet, clearly uncomfortable and probably considering taking her chances out there with the dean after all.
Sighing, I waved my hand in her direction. “You’d better take a seat. The dean won’t be quick about this. You need to stay away from that bastard for all our sakes. So I’m afraid you have no other alternative than to wait this out with me in here.”
Like some cartoon character, her head went from me to the door and back again, to the door and back once more.
“I ain’t gonna hurt you. Hell, I won’t even fuckin’ talk to you if that helps,” I told her sharply and focused my eyes on the wooden coffee table before me, the moon through the skylight acting like a spotlight right above where I was sitting.
Hearing heels clicking on the wooden floor, I knew she’d chosen to stay.
Good. She wasn’t stupid, then.
The couch dipped beside me, and she sat on the edge of the sofa like she was at some Swiss finishing school, knees pressed together and her back ramrod straight. This time I huffed a reluctant laugh, and her head turned in my direction.
“What?” she whispered, a little venom in her tiny Bama voice.
My eyebrows rose in surprise at her attitude. She’d always been so meek the other times I’d seen her. Tonight she was showing some fuckin’ fire.
I twisted around to face her, my left arm lying across the back cushion of the couch. “You look like you’ve got a damn pole jammed up your ass sitting like that.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock, and I nearly laughed out loud as she eyed me weird, then slowly leaned back against the cushion, clearly trying to relax.
We then went back to silence, and it was as uncomfortable as fuck.
Suddenly, dogs began barking outside. I launched from the couch, ran to the window, and pulled back the curtain about an inch so I could see the frat’s yard.
“Shit,” I spat at what I was seeing.
“What is it? What are they looking for?” the chick asked from the couch.
I didn’t answer, too busy watching a student I didn’t know being cuffed and hauled away by the cops. The dean was walking along the line of students, asking questions, while another cop held up a white packet the student had been packing.
Fuck. I recognized the brand. It was the Heighters’ product.
SHIT!
The tread of quiet feet sounded on the floor behind me. “Austin, what’re they looking for? I’m freaking out here!”
Snapping the curtain back in place, I turned to see a porcelain pixie face looking up at me.
“What’s your name?” I asked bluntly. The chick seemed taken aback.
“What?” I asked again, confused by her strange reaction to my question.
She shook her head nervously and her chin-length jet-black hair rocked back and forth. “Y-you just shocked me, that’s all. You’ve never asked my name before. Didn’t think you’d ever want to know my name after the last few weeks.”
I dipped my chin and urged her to answer the question with my eyes. I saw her swallow, her neck so slender I could see her every move.
“Lexi,” she said as soft as a damn feather. “My name’s Lexi Hart.”
Rome had been right.
I don’t know why, but knowing her name made her seem more human, and I felt like an even bigger dick for the way I’d been treating her. She was so small. Seemed so fragile. Like the littlest thing could destroy her.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and here in the shadows of the room, only a slither of blue-hued moonlight reached where we stood, making her look kind of like she’d stepped fresh from the pages of a steam punk fairytale. Her skin was light and smooth, her hair the color of a raven, and those red lips. Her green eyes reminded me of the sea, a calm summer’s sea sleeping under a burning sunset.
She was fuckin’ gorgeous.
Fidgeting awkwardly at my heavy staring, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and pushed, “So? What’s happening out there?”
My teeth rolled over my bottom lip as I contemplated lying. But what was the point? Besides Rome, only little Lexi here knew what I was caught up in, what my brothers did for a living, the real Austin Carillo off the football field.
“The dogs,” she said quietly and stared up at me, looking a little scared. “They’re searching for drugs, aren’t they?”
I nodded my head cautiously.
Breathing loudly, she backed up to the sofa and sat on the edge, playing with her fingers, head cast down. I watched her mulling shit over, that was until she looked up through long black lashes and bravely asked, “Drugs supplied by your brother, I’m guessing?”
Protective instinct drove my reaction.
Storming forward, I towered above her and growled, “That’s none of your fuckin’ business, you—” But I stopped myself mid-sentence and shut the hell up. As I tipped my head back to look up at the cloudless night sky, I questioned what the point was in keeping it from her. She’d already figured this shit out, seen Axel in action. She knew she couldn’t talk—for her own protection—so why the fuck should I bother lying to her?
When I calmed down my temper, I unclenched my fists and looked to the sofa. Lexi was pressed against the back cushion, all huge terrified eyes looking at me like I was Jack the Ripper about to tear her apart.
You terrify me, Carillo. I’m afraid of you…
A feeling close to a kick in the gut slammed into my solar plexus as her words from earlier today circled my head. This wasn’t who I was anymore.
This wasn’t who I wanted to be no more.
I moved to the opposite end of the couch and, all the while, Lexi monitored my actions like I would pounce on her or beat her to submission any second.
Sighing, I angled my head in her direction, but I couldn’t face her. I was a rat bastard, and I couldn’t face seeing the disdain in her eyes.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I said shortly.
I noted her quick inhale of breath. Squeezing my eyes shut, picturing Mamma’s pain-filled face, I wanted to tell her why I was acting like this… but more importantly, why I needed her to keep her mouth shut.
“I just… I just gotta protect my family, and only you have the power to bring us down right now. You’ve seen too much, Lexi. And I really wish you hadn’t—both for you and for me. It ain’t something I want for either of us… but it’s what we got.”
I caught her relaxing some and heard her deep inhale. I still couldn’t look her way.
“Is that why you’re hiding out in here?” she asked tentatively.
I reluctantly nodded my head.
“Are… are you a drug dealer too?”
This time my head did snap in her direction. “Fuck no. I’m not. Haven’t done that shit in years, despite what you’ve no doubt heard. I ain’t a gangbanger no more. Not since I came here to the Tide.”
The last remnants of tension seemed to ebb from her body. “But your brother still is?” she asked nervously.
I nodded slowly. I was glad she hadn’t said brothers. It made me think she hadn’t seen Levi in the quad too. That was good. Real damn good.
“He looks just like you,” she said a minute later and motioned to my dark hair and tattoos, especially the star on my left cheek. “Your brother.” Her head tilted to the side, eyes inquisitive. “Are you twins?”
I met her gaze and reluctantly answered, “Nah, he’s older than me. Just look alike, that’s all.”
“Can I ask why he’s in that life and you’re not? How you got out?” she asked, and her pale face reddened with embarrassment. She knew she was asking a question she shouldn’t.
My pierced right eyebrow rose. “You can ask, but I ain’t gonna give you an answer.”
Her top lip twitched at my response.
The silence that ensued this time didn’t feel so bad. Minutes went by, and I listened attentively for anyone approaching the door. The cops were still at the house. I could hear the deep murmur of voices behind the thick wood of the walls.
Lexi had been staring at me the entire time, but I didn’t wanna talk too much. She didn’t deserve to get in deeper than she already was.
Leaning back on the couch, I decided to try and relax, but just as I did, I felt Lexi lean in closer. My eyes narrowed, and I shot her a questioning glance.
“What the hell you looking at so close?” I asked. I wasn’t being a dick, but she was almost on my lap as she tried to look at something on my neck.
Fidgeting with her black hair, she blushed. That only made me more curious.
“What?” I asked again and folded my arms across my chest.
A bony index finger pointed at the side of my neck. I scowled in confusion.
“That tattoo,” she answered with a guilty expression, her pixie face all innocent in her interest.
“Gonna have to be more specific,” I said and gestured to my upper chest, showing the fully covered inked skin above my black T-shirt, my full sleeves, and neck.
“That one,” she pushed again and pointed her finger closer. I gave her an incredulous look. She wasn’t exactly narrowing it down. I tried to think of what I had in that spot, but it could’ve been one of about fifteen things.
Her teeth clenched in annoyance, and she prodded at my neck with the tip of her painted-black fingernail. “That one! The one that says Heighters!”
My humor dropped. As did Lexi’s pissed-off expression, and she lowered her hand.
I remembered when I got that piece of ink. I was fourteen—the same age as Levi. I’d just sold my first teener of coke and was initiated into the crew. Gio’d ordered Matteo—his original right-hand man—to brand me. Right on my neck where everyone could see who I ran with. And the star—the stidda—on my cheek to show our crew’s Sicilian connection.
They were visible statements that I was a Heighter for life.
They’d hurt like a bitch, and, all the time the needle had been scratching at the skin, Axel had beamed a smug-looking grin at me. It was probably the proudest moment of his life, looking at his little bro joining the gang he found so sacred. His family. Matteo got killed in a drive-by shortly after, and that’s when Axel had been promoted, taking his place as Gio’s right-hand man.
Lexi’s light cough pulled me from the memory. I met her eyes once again and snapped, “You get ’em when you officially join the crew. And you never cover it up. You own it. Happy?”
Lexi stared down at her hands in reprimand. “I was just curious. I’ve never met anyone from a real-life gang before. It’s interesting to me.”
I almost spit blood at her words. “Word of warning. Never be curious about the fuckin’ Heighters. Gang life ain’t no picnic or a good tale for a little rich girl’s entertainment.”
Lexi’s painted lips parted at my comment, and her eyes narrowed, but, suddenly, voices sounded outside the summerhouse and beams from flashlights shone through the slits in the curtains at the windows. Instinct had me diving to the floor to hide behind the couch. Lexi let out a quiet squeal of panic at the cops being right outside, and, without thinking, I grabbed her arm, pulling her to the floor beside me. I quickly took us out of the path of bright moonlight and into the shadows, her body tucked in against mine, my hand slapping right over her mouth and my mouth at her ear.
“Keep quiet!” I growled in warning, and her stiff body relaxed into mine.
“Search the summerhouse!” someone ordered outside, and search dogs began barking just outside the door. Lexi’s hand suddenly reached out and landed on my thigh, her fingers gripping onto the denim of my jeans.
“Just stay quiet. The door’s locked. They got no reason to think anyone’s inside as long as there’s no noise and we stay here in the shadows,” I said in a barely audible tone.
Lexi’s head nodded in understanding.
“Try the door!” someone barked, and I recognized the voice of the dean. “He’s gotta be here somewhere. No way cocaine’s on campus and that damn criminal Carillo has nothing to do with it.”
I felt Lexi’s head tip up, and no doubt she was looking at me. But I didn’t look down. I was too fuckin’ pissed for that. I knew that cunt was gonna try and pin this shit on me.
Three years he’d been waiting for his chance.
Over a thousand days since he’d wanted me, the Italian trash, out of his school.
The doorknob began to rattle and lights flooded through the keyhole, narrowly missing where we lay. I pulled Lexi closer to me, making sure we were well inside the dark, her ass now flush against my dick under my jeans.
“Looks empty, sir,” a voice said to the dean, and I heard a loud sigh.
“He’s goddamn run. Carillo was at this party. We got witnesses that can place him here. Rome Prince is gone too. That’s no coincidence. They’ve probably split together. Where you find one, you find the other. Why a good kid like Prince runs with that piece of trash is beyond me.”
It took all I had not to blow out the door and snap his fuckin’ neck. I’d show him trash.
“What next, sir?”
“Have someone patrol the grounds until sunrise. If he tries to come back, we can question him then. The cocaine we found on the four students tonight came from the Heighters. I recognized the Sicilian star symbol on the packet. We had issues with that gang dealing drugs five years ago. Carillo’s the closest connection we got to them these days. Hell, for all we know, he’s the one distributing it, making some cash on the side.”
My eyes squeezed shut. I was gonna kill Axel. No blowback on me, my ass! The dean had me as suspect number one for the drugs on campus.
Fuckin’ A.
Voices began fading as the cops moved away from the summerhouse. But they’d be here all night. The dean had made sure of that. Which meant I was stuck here until morning… and so was Lexi.
Once they were outta earshot, I removed my hand from Lexi’s mouth and laid it on the floor beside her head.
I could feel her breathing hard. She was scared. I didn’t blame her. I suspected she wasn’t used to this shit—the life of the underdog. And by the way the dean had spoken about me to the cops, she probably thought I was public enemy number one.
“What do we do now?” Lexi’s tiny voice said in the stillness of the room.
“We’re gonna have to wait until they leave the frat grounds.”
“Okay,” she whispered back and went to move away from me. Reaching out, I grabbed her hip and wrenched her back. She wasn’t moving from this spot. We needed to keep hidden.
I didn’t anticipate her reaction.
“Get
Damn Norman Bates Psycho shit.
“Fuck, bitch, I’m off you!” I snapped back and shushed her panicking ass. “You gotta stay down here. They might come back again, and they’ll see you if you’re not hiding behind this couch! The rest of the room’s too open and light with the fuckin’ skylight!”
Here in the dark shadows, I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her shaking.
What the fuck?
My hands were held up by my head just to show I wasn’t gonna touch her again. I couldn’t deal with this level of crazy right now.
I could feel warmth radiating off her like a damn space heater. And when she slipped back into a hazy beam of moonlight, her hand was on her chest as if trying to calm her pounding heart.
“Okay… okay,” she said breathlessly and slumped back down beside me. “I’ll lie back down.”
This time she was facing me and her eyes never left my hands, as if making sure I wasn’t gonna attempt to touch her again. I wondered what the hell was up with that shit? But I wasn’t gonna pry. Had too much to deal with myself to be concerned with her damn emo issues too.
Crickets chirped outside, and every fifteen minutes, the sound of the campus cops’ radios filled the house. They were doing their rounds—just like good little bitches of the dean—the light from their flashlights illuminating the room, except here behind the couch, where we had our own little pocket of protection.
Hours and hours passed in silence, and I lay on my back just staring once more at the stars through the skylight, the sky brightening with the rising dawn, the dark room now lightened by a hazy orange glow.
I heard Lexi sigh beside me, and I asked, “What do think of when you look up at the stars?”
I caught Lexi’s head tilt to the side and her eyes narrowed in scrutiny.
Minutes passed as she stared silently at the night sky. “Sometimes I wonder what they must make of our world,” she whispered quietly. I didn’t think she’d respond. “Do we fascinate them or disgust them? Do they look down on us the same way we look up at them and wonder what we’re thinking too? Do they see all our problems? Watch our sorrowful excuses for lives with a growing sense of pity? Or do they envy us for just having a life, good or bad?”