The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5) by Fanny Burney

  CHAPTER XXXI

  The sole hope of Ellis for extrication from these difficulties hung nowupon Mr Giles Arbe; whom she had begun to apprehend had forgotten hispromise, when, to her great relief, he appeared.

  Nothing could be less exhilarating than his air and manner. He lookedvexed and disconcerted; sat down without answering the civilities of herreception; sucked, for some minutes, the head of his stick; and thenbegan talking to himself; from time to time ejaculating little brokenphrases aloud, such as: 'It i'n't right!--It can't be right!--I wishthey would not do such things.--Fair young creatures, too, some ofthem--Fie! fie!--They've no thought;--that's it!--they've nothought.--Mighty good hearts,--and very pretty faces, too, some of'em;--but sad little empty heads,--except for their own pleasures;--nowant of flappers[1] there!--Fie! fie!'

  [Footnote 1: Swift's Laputa.]

  Then letting fall two guineas and a half upon the table, 'There, mydear,' he cried, in a tone of chagrin, 'there's all I have been able togather amongst all your scholars put together! What they do with theirmoney I don't know; but they are all very poor, they tell me: exceptLady Arramede; and she's so rich, that she can't possibly attend, shesays, to such pitiful claims: though I said to her, If the sum, Ma'am,is too small for your ladyship's notice, the best way to shew yourmagnificence, is to make it greater; which will also be very acceptableto this young person. But she did not mind me. She only said that youmight apply to her steward at Christmas, which was the time, shebelieved, when he settled her affairs; but as to herself, she nevermeddled with such insignificant matters.'

  'Christmas?' repeated Ellis; 'and 'tis now but the beginning of April!'

  'I went next to the Miss Crawleys; but they only fell a laughing. All Icould say, and all I could do, and all I could represent, only set 'em alaughing. I never knew what at. Nor they, neither. But they did notlaugh the less for that. One of them stretched her mouth so wide, that Iwas afraid she would have cut her cheeks through to her ears: andt'other frightened me still more, for she giggled herself so black inthe face, that I thought she must have expired in a fit. And not oneamong us knew what it was all for! But the more I stared at them, thelouder they laughed. They never stopt till they were so weak that theycould not stand; and then they held their sides, and were quiet enough;till I happened to ask them, if they had done? and that set them offagain. They are merry little souls; not very heavy, I believe, in thehead: I don't suppose they have a thought above once in a twelve-month.'

  He had then applied to their brother. Sir Marmaduke professed himselfextremely shocked, at the circumstances which had prevented his sistersfrom profiting longer by the instructions of so fine a virtuosa as TheEllis; but he hoped that something might yet be adjusted for the future,as he was utterly ashamed to offer such a trifle as this account, to soaccomplished a young person as The Ellis. 'I told him, then,' continuedMr Giles, 'that it was no trifle to you, for you were so very poor thatyou could not pay for your clothes; but I could never obtain any otheranswer from him, than that he had too much consideration for you, tothink of offering you a sum so unworthy your merit.'

  'This, indeed, is rather singular,' cried Ellis, half smiling, 'that thesmallness of my demands should make one person decline paying me fromcontempt, and another, from respect!'

  Next, he related, he went to Miss Brinville, who, with greatdispleasure, denied, at first, having ever been a scholar of Miss Ellis.The young woman had been with her, indeed, she said, to chose her aharp, or tune it, or something of that sort; but she had found her soentirely unequal to giving any lessons; and the professor, her presentmaster, had so completely convinced her of the poor young woman'signorance, that it was quite ridiculous to suppose having seen any body,once or twice, for an odd hour or two, was sufficient for beingconsidered as their scholar. 'Upon this,' continued Mr Giles, 'I toldher that if she were not amongst your pupils, she must be amongst yourfriends; and, in that case, I doubted not, from your great good nature,you would dispense with her payment.'

  'Well, Sir?' cried Ellis laughing, 'and what said my friend?'

  'Good me! all was changed in a minute! she had never, she said, had sucha thought as receiving you but as her music-mistress. So then, again, Idemanded the money; for if she is not your friend, said I, you can'texpect her to teach you for nothing. But she told me she was justquitting Brighthelmstone, and could not pay you till she got to London.I really can't find out what makes them all so poor; but they areprodigiously out of cash. Those operas and gauzes, I believe, ruin them.They dress themselves so prettily, and go to hear those tunes so often,that they have not a shilling left for other expences. It i'n't right!It can't be right! And so I told her. I gave her some advice. "There's agreat concert to-night, Miss Brinville," said I; "if you take mycounsel, you won't go to it; nor to ever another for a week or two tocome: and then you can pay this young lady what you owe her, withoutputting yourself to any difficulty." But she made me no reply. She onlyeyed me askance, as if she would have liked prodigiously to order me outof the room. I thought I never saw her nose look so thick! I never tookso much notice of it before: but it spoils her beauty sadly. After this,I went to Miss Sycamore, and I surprized her playing upon her harp."This is lucky enough," said I, "Miss Sycamore! I find you in the act ofreaping advantage from the very person who wants to reap advantage fromyou." So then I demanded your money. But she told me that she had noneto spare, and that she could not pay you yet. "Why then," said I, "MissSycamore, you must give her back her instructions!" I thought this wouldhave piqued her; but she won't easily be put out of her way. So shethrew her arms round her harp, with the prettiest languishment you canimagine, making herself look just like a picture; and then she played mea whole set of airs and graces; quite ravishing, I protest. And when shehad done, "There!" she cried, "there, Mr Arbe, those were herinstructions: carry them back!"--I declare I don't know how I could beangry with her, she did it with such an elegant toss! But it was notright; it could not be right; so I was angry enough, after the firstmoment. "Pray, Miss Sycamore," said I, "what have you done for thisyoung lady, to expect that she should do all this for you? Have you gother any place?--Have you procured her any emolument?--Have you given herany pleasure?--Have you done her any honour?'--She had not a word toanswer: so she twirled her fingers upon her harp, and sung and playedtill I was almost ravished again. But I would not give way; so I said,"Miss Sycamore, if she owes you neither place, nor profit; neitherpleasure, nor honour, I should be glad to know upon what pretence youlay claim to her Time, her Trouble, her Talents, and her Patience?"'

  'O could such a question,' cried Ellis, 'be put more at large for allthe harassed industrious, to all the unfeeling indolent!--whatreflections might it not excite! what injustice might it not obviate!'

  'Why I'll say it any where, my dear, if you think it will do any good. Ialways give my opinion; for I never see what a man has one for, if hemust not utter it. However, I could make nothing of Miss Sycamore. Thoseyoung ladies who play and sing in public, at those private rooms, offour or five hundred people, have their poor little heads so taken up,between the compliments of the company when they are in the world, andtheir own when they are by themselves, that there i'n't a moment leftthem for a little thought.'

  His next visit was to Lady Kendover; by whom he was received, he said,with such politeness, and by whom Ellis was mentioned with so muchconsideration, that he thought he should quite oblige her ladyship, bygiving her an opportunity to serve a young person of whom she spoke withso much civility. 'Upon which,' continued he, 'I told her about yourdebts, and how much you would thank her to be as quick as possible inhelping you to pay them. But then she put on quite a new face. She wassurprised, she said, that you should begin your new career by runninginto debt; and much more at my supposing that she should sanctify suchimprudence, by her name and encouragement. Still, however, she talkedabout her concern, and her admiration, in such elegant sentences, that,thinking she was coming round, "Madam," said I, "as your ladyshiphonours this young lady wit
h so generous a regard, I hold it but my dutyto tell you how you may shew it the most to her benefit. Send for allher creditors, and let them know your ladyship's good opinion of her;and then, I don't doubt, they'll wait her own convenience for beingpaid." Well! All at once her face turned of a deep brick red, as if Ihad offered her an affront in only naming such a thing! So then I grewvery angry indeed; for, as she is neither young nor pretty, there is noone thing to excuse her. If she had been young, one might have hoped shewould mend; and if she were pretty, one might suppose she was onlythinking of her looking-glass. But her ladyship is plain enough, as wellas old; so I felt no scruple to reprimand her. But I gained no ground;for just as I was beginning to cry down the uselessness of thatcomplimentary language, if it meant nothing; she said that she was verysorry to have the honour to leave me, but that she must go and dress fordinner. But then, just as I was coming away, and upon the point of beingin a passion, I was stopt by little Lady Barbara; that sweet fine child;who asked me a hundred kind questions about you, without paying anyregard to the winking or blinking of her aunt Kendover. She is a mightyagreeable little soul. I have taken a great kindness to her. She let outall their secrets to me; and I should like nothing better than to tellthem all to you; only Lady Kendover charged me to hold my tongue. Theladies are very fond of giving that recommendation to us men! I don'tknow (smiling) whether they are as fond of giving the example! Inparticular, she enjoined me not to mention Lady Aurora's being yourbanker.'

  'Lady Aurora?'

  'Yes, because my cousin would be quite affronted; for she arrangesthings, Lady Kendover says, so extremely well, that she deserves to haveher own way. She likes to have it too, I believe, very well.'

  'Lady Aurora my banker?'

  'Yes; they wrote to Lady Aurora about it, and she sent them word that,if the scheme were agreeable to you, she begged to be considered asresponsible for any expences that you might incur in its preparation.'

  'Lady Aurora, then, approves the plan?' cried Ellis in much disturbance.

  'Yes, mightily, I believe; though I am not quite sure, for she desiredyou might not be pressed, nor hurried; for "if," says she, in a letterto Lady Barbara, "it is not her own desire, don't let any body be socruel as to urge her. We know not her history, and cannot judge herobjections; but she is so gently mannered, so sweetly well bred, soinexpressibly amiable, that it is impossible she should not do everything that is right."'

  'Sweet-trusting-generous Lady Aurora!' cried Ellis, while tears gushedfast into her eyes, with strong, but delighted emotion: 'Mr Giles, Isee, now, what path I may pursue; and you, who are so benevolent, willaid me on my way.'

  She then entreated him, through the medium of Lady Barbara, tosupplicate that the beneficence of Lady Aurora might be exerted in thepayment of the debts already contracted; not in obviating new ones,which she felt no disposition to incur.

  'I'll undertake that with all my heart, my dear; and you'll be sure tohave the money for what you like best, because it's a man who is to beyour paymaster.'

  'A man?'

  'Yes; for Lady Aurora says, that though she shall pay the whole herselfultimately, the draft upon the banker, for the present, must be in thename of her brother.'

  Ellis changed colour, and, with far deeper emotion, now walked about herroom, now seated herself, now hid her face with her hands, and nowejaculated, 'How--how shall I decide!'

  She then enquired from whom Mr Giles had received the two guineas andthe half guinea which he had put upon the table.

  From Mr Tedman.

  Mr Tedman, she said, was the only person of the whole set who owed hernothing; but to whom, on the contrary, she was herself indebted; nothaving yet had an opportunity to clear what he had advanced.

  'So he told me,' cried Mr Giles; 'for I don't believe he forgets thingsof that sort. But he said he had such a regard for you, that he wouldstand to trusting you with as much again, _put in case_ you would givehim your receipt for paying it off in lessons to his daughter. And forthis much, in the mean while, as you were not by, he consented to takemine.'

  'You are very kind, Sir,' said Ellis; 'and Mr Tedman himself,notwithstanding his deficiency in education and language, is, I believe,really good: nevertheless, I am too uncertain of my power to continue mymusical project, to risk a new bankruptcy of this nature.' She thenbegged him to take back the money; with a promise that she wouldspeedily settle what yet remained undischarged of the former account.

  He blamed her warmly. 'Mr Tedman,' he said, 'is rich and good natured,you are poor and helpless: he ought to give; it's only being just: youought to accept, or you are only very foolish.'

  'Do not be hasty to blame me, my good Mr Giles. There are certain pointsin which every one must judge for himself. With regard to me, I mustresist all pecuniary obligations.'

  'Except to poor trades-people!' cried he, nodding a littlereproachfully; 'and those you will let work and toil for you gratis!'

  Ellis, shocked, and struck to the quick, looked deeply distressed.'Perhaps,' she said, 'I may be wrong! Justice, certainly, should takeplace of whatever is personal, however dear or near its interest!--'

  She paused, ruminated, irresolute, and dissatisfied; and then said,'Were I to consult only myself, my own feelings, whatever they may be,should surely and even instantly, give way, to what is due to others;but I must not imagine that I shall be doomed for ever to thisdeplorable condition; and those to whom I may yet belong, may blame--mayresent any measures that may give publicity to my situation. Will notthis objection have some weight, Sir, to lessen your censure of myseeming insensibility, to claims of which I acknowledge the right?'

  'What, then, you think, I suppose, that when your friends come to you,they'll be quite pleased to find you have accepted goods and favoursfrom your shoe-maker, and your hosier, and your linen-draper? thoughthey would be too proud to let you receive money from the rich and idle?Better sing those songs, my dear! much better sing those songs! Thenyou'll have money for yourself and every body.'

  Ellis now breathed hard. 'Alas!' she cried, 'justice, reason, commonsense, all seem against me! If, therefore, Lady Aurora approve thisscheme,--my fears and my feelings must yield to such a tide!'

  Again, painfully, she paused; and then, sighing bitterly, added, 'TellMiss Arbe, Sir,--acquaint Lady Kendover,--let Lady Aurora beinformed,--that I submit to their opinions, and accept, upon their ownterms, their benevolent assistance.'

  He held out his hand to her, now, with exulting approbation; but sheseemed overwhelmed with grief, apprehension, and regret.

  He looked at her with surprise. 'Why now, my dear,' he said, tenderly,'what's the matter with you? Now that you are going to do all that isright, you must be happy.'

  'What is right, alas!--for me, at least,' she cried, 'I know not!--Ishould not else be thus perplexed.--But I act in the dark!--The measurein which I acquiesce, I may for ever repent,--yet I know not how, else,to extricate myself from difficulties the most alarming, andremonstrances--if not menaces--the most shocking!'

  Heavily she sighed; yet, definitively, she agreed, that, since,unhappily, the debts were incurred, and her want of credit madeimmediate payment necessary, she could not, herself, in combining thewhole of her intricate situation, find any plan more eligible than thatof performing at this subscription-concert.