Rome by Jay Crownover
If she didn’t stop gawking at me with those big green eyes, I was going to knock her upside her pretty blond head. We were at lunch. I met her downtown so that she could hop over to the Goal Line for her shift when we were done. It was Sunday afternoon and neither of the Archer boys was in the mood to go see their parents, so instead they had decided to spend the day together doing guy stuff, whatever that meant. Shaw insisted it meant they were going to go to the gym and try to beat the crap out of each other, either that or they were going to stay put in the living room playing video games. Rome wasn’t much of a gamer, so I thought the gym thing sounded more likely, but it made me nervous because neither one of those boys knew when to pull it in and one of them very well could end up hurt.
I had a brilliant idea to help my big, brooding soldier put at least one of his demons to rest, only Shaw seemed to think I had gone off the deep end when I explained it to her. She just kept shaking her head at me and biting her lower lip anxiously. She could look worried and think I was crazy all she wanted, but Rome needed closure, needed some kind of answers so he could move forward, and there was only one way I could see for that to happen. I just knew bridging this gap would not only offer him the peace of mind he needed, but also do wonders for his current need to keep his parents at arm’s length. He had already lost a brother; this self-imposed exile from those who loved him simply had to stop. Unfortunately I needed Shaw’s help in pulling it off.
“I was there, Cora. I‘m the one who saw the reaction, the one they ignored and abandoned when they found out about Remy. Trust me, the Archer boys do not like surprises.”
I sighed and blew my bangs off my forehead. “Look, Rule sleeps at night. Yeah, he had a hard time of it there for a while but mostly he has handled his grief and the role Remy played in it. Rome hasn’t. He is sinking in a mire of ‘what-if’ and ‘what-now’; if I can throw him a lifeline I’m going to, with or without your help.”
She tapped her fingernails on the table and we stared at each other steadily. “I’ve known those boys a lot longer than you, Cora. Trust me: it isn’t an idea that either of them will welcome, not to mention the tailspin it might send Margot into. It will just open old wounds and hurt. I have no interest in doing that to Rule or to Rome.”
I shook my head at her. “You knew the Rome that he was before he found out his little brother had a secret life and his other little brother didn’t need him anymore because he found the love of his life. This Rome, Shaw … you don’t even have a clue what’s going on with him. I’m sorry but it’s true. He’s a different man now. He needs this.”
I didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh but it was true. Granted, Rome had a knack for keeping people at bay and hiding all the things he was constantly struggling with behind a glower and a snide attitude, but I knew if anyone bothered to look closely, they could see how he was fractured in his heartbreaking, blue gaze. I would move every mountain in the Front Range to give him this. Besides, this kid was going to have every kind of family I never did, even if it meant I had to rattle the Archer family foundation to do it.
“I love him, Cora. He’s my family and I don’t want to hurt him.”
“He needs closure, he told me he doesn’t know how to let it go, Shaw, and none of us can provide it or help him with it. I think Rule would benefit from having some answers that make sense as well, but he’s yours to worry about; big brother is all mine.”
He was mine. Every towering, unpredictable, floundering inch of him was mine, and I was going to do whatever it took in order to make things better for him. I took care of my friends because I wanted them to live the best life possible. I was going to take care of Rome because it did something to me on a fundamental level to see him struggle, to see him hurting. I felt like if I could put him at the slightest of ease, it would be the most rewarding gift I had ever given anyone. Plus he deserved it. He was a good man. He had earned someone working to make his world a better place for once instead of the other way around.
She opened her mouth to continue her side of the argument but was interrupted by my phone going off. I had set Rome’s ring tone to Creedence because he was such a classic kind of guy and it always made me smile to see his grim mug looking up at me from the screen. He would laugh if he knew CCR played “Fortunate Son” every time he called me, especially since I preferred girl rock bands as a rule.
“What’s up?” He had seemed pretty committed to spending the day with Rule and hashing out some of their issues, so I was surprised to be hearing from him.
“Can you meet me at the Bar as soon as you can?”
He sounded stressed out and was talking really fast. I frowned and motioned for Shaw to get the bill so I could go.
“Yeah. What’s going on?”
“The place got robbed.”
I felt my eyes go big and I understood the underlying panic in his tone. He was really close to Brite, the owner of the bar, and if something had happened to the older guy, it wasn’t going to be pretty for Rome. He needed me to keep him grounded; I knew it even if he didn’t say it. He was asking for help and my heart turned over in my chest.
“I’ll be there in ten.”
I felt him release a breath and he sounded less anxious when he spoke again.
“Asa called me, the cops are already there. I don’t know anything else.”
I frowned and stood as Shaw signed for the bill.
“Who would rob a dive bar on a Sunday in broad daylight?”
“I don’t know. But I sure as fuck don’t like it.”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Thanks, Half-Pint.”
“Anytime, Captain No-Fun.”
Shaw followed me as I hurried out of the restaurant. I was practically running to the Cooper when she stopped me with a hand on my elbow. Her eyes were still big and unsure, but now there was a different kind of understanding shining out of them.
“Are you in love with him, Cora?”
I didn’t know how to answer that, so I just stared at her for a minute. It was a question I was actively avoiding asking myself every day. The answer scared me because if I was in love with him and he bailed on me again, there was no way I would be able to forgive him for that and now our futures were inexorably linked through the child I was carrying, so that wasn’t a viable option. If I kept my feelings in check, denied how important he was, if he broke apart on me again, I could still move past it and not fall apart like I had before. My kid deserved a parent who was always going to be present in every way possible.
“I’m having his kid, Shaw.”
“But do you love him?” Damn, she could be persistent when she wanted to.
“I don’t know. Last time I loved someone he nearly destroyed me and that didn’t feel half as intense or as important as this thing with Rome does. I think loving him could be the end of me if it doesn’t work out.”
“What if it does work out, though? What if he’s your imperfect Mr. Perfect?”
I pulled away because if I was in love with him or not, it was irrelevant to me right in this moment. He needed me, and I wasn’t ever going to leave him hanging if I could avoid it.
“Then he’ll be the first to know. Call Ayden and tell her Asa just got robbed. She might want to check in on him.” I didn’t bother to say good-bye; I was in too much of a hurry to get to my guy.
When I got to the bar, everyone was standing outside. Rome was with Brite talking to a couple of police officers, a few of the regulars were huddled together looking lost and nervous in the bright light of day, but what really had my attention was the fact that Ayden and Jet were also there. Only instead of worrying over her brother, she seemed furious. She was pointing a finger in his chest and Jet was doing his best to hold her back.
I walked up to Rome and put an arm around his waist. He had on black track pants and a black T-shirt. Clearly, he had been at the gym. He looked like he should be on the cover of a men’s fitness magazine.
“What’s that all about?”
“I don’t know. She laid into him as soon as she got out of the car.”
He gave me a squeeze as I pulled away.
“I’m going to see what’s going on. You okay?”
He nodded and Brite just grunted.
“I’m getting too old for this shit. Bar brawls with bikers, armed robbery on a Sunday, this is getting to be too much.”
I saw Rome wince a little but the older guy just clapped him on the shoulder and shook his head.
“I’ll finish up with the cops; you go check on the Southern Casanova.”
I took his hand in mine and led him across the parking lot. He nodded at a couple of the regulars and looked down at me.
“Thanks for dropping everything and racing over here. I couldn’t get ahold of Brite. I was worried something happened to him. Asa only said he was robbed and then hung up. Every worst-case scenario I could think of started running through my head.”
I bumped his shoulder with my own and grinned up at him. “But instead of going off the deep end, you called me and asked for help. That’s all you can do, big guy.”
He looked like he was going to say something back but ended up grunting in surprise when Ayden shoved Asa in the chest with both hands so hard that he actually stumbled back a few steps into us. Jet swore and wrapped his obviously angry bride up in a tight grip.
“Ayd, cool it. There are cops everywhere and I don’t need to spend one of my few days home getting your fine ass out of jail.”
She was breathing hard and her light eyes were glowing in a way only pure fury could provide.
I grabbed Asa’s elbow and turned him around to look at me. His mouth was pulled down tight in a frown, and he was meeting his little sister glare for glare.
“Hey now. What’s all this noise about?”
He pulled away from me and shoved his hands through his tousled blond hair.
“Ask her. It’s not bad enough I just had a gun shoved in my face and had to hand over the entire till to some asshole in a ski mask, but Miss Perfect Timing has to show up and accuse me of being in on it.”
Jet swore, Rome frowned, and Ayden stood stubborn, with her arms crossed over her chest.
“I know you better than anyone, Asa. I know it isn’t beyond the realm of possibility.”
“Ayd.” Jet’s tone was warning, but he was running soothing hands up and down her arms. “Maybe not the time or the place, yeah?”
She shook her dark head and continued to glare at her brother.
Rome looked at Asa out of the corner of his eye.
“What exactly happened?”
Asa sighed and started to pace back and forth in front of us. I knew he had a shady history, a spotty reputation at best, but this seemed pretty terrible. I didn’t want to imagine he could have anything to do with it, but Ayden’s stony expression made me have my doubts.
“I was setting up the Bloody Mary bar just like I do every Sunday. There were only a few regulars sitting at the bar and Brite told me he had to run a couple errands, so I was on my own. I went in the back to get a case of vodka, and when I came back to the front a guy in a black mask, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans, was behind the bar messing with the register. I was confused, so I asked him what he was doing there, and when he turned he had a freaking Glock pointed at my face.”
As he told his sister the rundown he refused to look at anyone but her. It was like he was trying to force her to believe him, even though it was doubtful she would.
“He told me to get on the other side of the bar. He emptied out the register and took off out the front door. It happened in like a minute.”
“He didn’t say anything else?” Rome’s voice was gruff and I could tell he was struggling with the robbery happening while he wasn’t there. He cared a lot about this place, cared a lot about Brite. This was a surefire way to get all that guilt he struggled with on a daily basis churning up inside of him.
Asa shifted those glittering gold eyes in our direction. “He said, ‘Payback’s a bitch.’”
I looked up at Rome, who was now scowling.
“You know what that means?”
He grunted. “Did you tell Brite that?”
Asa nodded. “Yeah, and he told me not to mention it to the cops.”
“What? Why?” Rome wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and dropped a kiss on the top of my head.
“I think he knows who was behind it.” Rome switched his attention to Ayden. “Lay off on your brother, girly. People change, sometimes not always for the better, but they do change. You’re never going to be able to move forward if you’re always thinking the worst of each other.”
He flicked his gaze down to me.
“Give me a couple minutes to talk to Brite and we can head out. Rule dropped me off.”
I chuckled a little. “You’re going to ride in the Cooper?”
He groaned and walked away without another word. I’m not going to lie: I watched his ass the entire way until Ayden’s voice broke through my reverie.
“Asa.” Her tone was half conciliatory and half resigned.
Asa held up a hand and shook his head. I thought he looked sad, or maybe reconciled to the fact that Ayden was only ever going to see him one way.
“Just don’t. I appreciate all you have done for me, that you could have just left me in that hospital, that I will never, ever be able to repay you, Ayd. But I’m not always going to be the bad guy. I like it here. I like this bar, and believe it or not, I respect the hell out of Rome. He is a good guy. I wouldn’t want to do anything to screw him over. I know you think I’m only capable of looking out for myself, but almost dying gave me a slightly new outlook on life. Having your little sister save your ass endlessly gets old.”
Ayden seemed stunned into silence, so Jet tried. “Asa, man, come on. You guys can work this out later.”
The blond head shook in the negative.
“No. Obviously there is nothing left to work out.”
He turned those liquid-gold eyes on me and I could practically feel the sincerity shining out of them.
“I’ll be out by the end of next week.”
I sighed. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do. Besides, you’re going to need room for that baby at some point.”
Well, crap. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Rome and I hadn’t talked about that part of our future. It still seemed so far off; besides bigger boobs, mood swings, and the barest little rounding in my belly, I didn’t look or feel that different, so I guess it was easy to forget I had a baby I needed to be preparing for. We switched back and forth between his place and mine, but neither was really an ideal environment for a newborn. I mean my house was great and had the room, if it wasn’t currently all occupied.
“I’m sorry.” Ayden’s voice was strained and sounded tiny. Jet just held her closer and muttered soft words into her dark hair.
Asa gave her a sad smile. “I’m sure you are and I am, too, but I can’t be around you if you always think I’m going to be up to something.”
She gave a broken little laugh. “You always are.”
“I always was.”
With that, he turned around and walked over to where some of the grizzled regulars were still gathered. I watched as they all shook his hand and clapped him on the back. Clearly, just like they had done for Rome, they had welcomed Asa’s lost soul into their fold.
“You okay?” Jet’s voice was light as he kissed Ayden lightly on the mouth. She put her arms around his waist and rested her forehead on the center of his chest. They just looked like the perfect matched set.
“I don’t know.”
“He’ll get over it.”
“But he’s right. I do always think he’s up to something. I thought he robbed your studio, I could totally see him being behind the robbery of this place. There isn’t much I don’t think he’s capable of doing if he thinks it benefits him. I love him but I just don’t trus
“You’ll work it out.” I looked down at my phone as it beeped an incoming text message.
It was from Shaw and all it said was:
I’m in.
I breathed a sigh of relief and put the phone away.
“We are all family, Ayd. Good, bad, and ugly, we figure it out.”
“With our history, I don’t think it’s that easy, Cora.”
I was reminded of Rome and how everyone had such an easy time caring for him before he came back lost within himself. Everyone still loved him, they just had to find a new way to do it to get around the what-was. Asa was the same way.
“You can love him, Ayden. You just need to find a way to love the new him that’s different from the love you had for the old him.”
She didn’t answer me, but Rome came up behind me and asked if I was ready to go. I nodded and Jet bundled Ayden into his Challenger and peeled out of the parking lot.
“What was that all about?”
“She’s having a hard time aligning Denver Asa with Kentucky Asa, which is silly since she had to do the exact same thing with herself not too long ago.”
He didn’t say anything but made a face when we got to the Cooper. It made me grin.
“Hey.” He looked at me over the top of the car and lifted that dark eyebrow that arched under the scar on his forehead. It made him look sexy and slightly sinister at the same time.
“We need to talk about what we’re going to do when this kid is here.”
He frowned and folded his massive frame into the tiny front seat. I had to admit he looked ridiculous. So I snapped a picture on my cell in case I needed it in the future. He swore at me and scooted around until he found a comfortable position in the limited space.
“What do you mean? We have it, we raise it, we send it to school, keep it from getting eaten by wolves or becoming a stripper, and we’re good.”
“Don’t call it an it.”
“What should I call it?”
“I don’t know, but not it, and I meant where are we planning on raising him or her? My place? Your place? Together under the same roof or are we going to bounce back and forth? I feel like we didn’t really think this through.”