A Song of Snow and Ashes by S.J. Drew
whole world."
Her face fell. "What do you mean?"
"You're the LightBearer. You're supposed to fight the ShadowWalker and defeat the Darkness. If you died, he would stand unopposed. Do you understand that?" he demanded harshly.
She nodded wordlessly.
"If you got into trouble out there, there was nothing we could do to help you. We aren't mages, and we aren't demi-gods. Even if the fire didn't hurt you, you could have been attacked."
"By whom?" she asked blankly.
"Servants of Darkness. You've already told us your Order located the ShadowWalker. How do you know that the Order of Darkness hasn't located you and was just waiting for an opportunity to strike?"
She shook her head. "I don't," she answered in a small voice.
"That's right. You don't," he snapped. "We're also a little concerned you didn't bother to tell us that you could ride a horse."
"You never asked, and I forgot."
"That's not an excuse. We need to know your abilities so we don't waste time teaching you what you already know."
"I'm sorry."
"Yes, well, now we know. Where did you get that animal?"
"It's a gift from the god."
"I see. The responsibility of keeping the horse is yours. Do you know how to properly take care of a horse?"
She nodded.
"Good. Now, about your punishment."
She looked up sharply.
"We can't punish you if you don't accept our judgment. You aren't a member of our community."
Tears started to sting her eyes, and Jomei looked at her apologetically.
"But since you live here, we hope you'll put yourself under the same laws everyone else must obey."
She nodded, blinking furiously.
"Good. I'm glad you understand. If you were a member of the community, we could revoke some of your privileges. We could forbid you to leave, or limit your activities. However, you haven't yet left the city, and we need you to continue learning to fight and study. So, we really can't hand down any punishment. Just know that you have earned our disappointment. If you want to be a worthy Champion, you should listen to the orders and advice of your superiors. Got that?"
She nodded. "What about Mulago?" she muttered.
"Mulago?" Hialmar repeated. "We're still making arrangements for the trip. Given your actions with the fire, we feel it best to delay the trip. You may go now."
Without a word, she stood up and left. She found herself at Jomei's cottage and waited for him to arrive.
"I'm sorry, Eliora. I tried to tell them that this wasn't the right way to go about things, but I was out-voted."
"Not part of the community?" she said hollowly.
He sighed. "I'm sorry."
"What do they want from me? I've tried to do everything they've asked. I'm learning the language. I'm learning to fight. I'm dressing just like everyone else. I'm doing all the things the only people my age do. I haven't run off, I haven't been pushing about getting a mage tutor. I've tried to make friends and fit in. Was I supposed to let the city burn?" she asked, her voice becoming choked with sobs.
"Well, it's been burnt before."
"But if they're so worried about the ShadowWalker coming to find me, why would they want the delay of having to rebuild their own city? I don't understand at all," she sniffled.
"I think you do. You just don't want to say it."
"They're prejudiced against me," she replied in a low voice. "I always try to see the best of people, and hope they can rise above those sorts of things. You know, judge people on actions and intentions, not appearances or customs."
"Well, your actions did seem to be a bit reckless. How did you know you could tame that fire?"
"I didn't, but I was sure I should try. You said you prayed to the Light One for some way for me to prove myself. Maybe that fire was the answer to your prayer."
Jomei looked startled. "I suppose it could have been," he stuttered. “That's not the kind of answer I wanted, though.”
"I guess it didn't work."
"Not immediately, no. But you did show them that you do have significant power. No mage could have done that."
"I don't think that's a good thing to remind people," she replied, thinking of something Aidan said to her. "I gather mages aren't well liked around here. Aidan told me about an area north of Trevelan where the land got scorched during the Mage Wars."
"The Charred Land? Yes, there is that." After a pause, he said, "We should start your lessons and get your mind off of this, alright?"
She nodded, feeling that things were most certainly not all right, and they got to work. When lunch time came around, she started to notice some odd stares and fearful looks from the others. Thoroughly discouraged, she kept messing up in weapons practice, which lead to Aidan getting very upset at her.
"Dammit, you've got to pay attention," he snapped, bringing up the practice blade to her throat. "That's the third time you've fallen for that feint."
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"Don't be sorry, be attentive."
She just couldn't concentrate on fighting.
"Dammit, Eliora," he swore about twenty minutes later. "If you're not going to pay attention, we shouldn't do this. I could accidentally hurt you."
"No, I'm sorry. I'll try harder."
"Don't try. Just do it. Honestly. Do you think just because you beat back one fire you don't have to pay attention to your fighting lessons?" he scolded.
"What? No, no, I'm sorry."
"Quit apologizing and pay attention!"
It was a very frustrating afternoon. When dinner time came, Aidan was still angry with her, and left her alone to eat. She thought about joining in the games, just to improve her mood, but she noticed many of the young men were giving her odd, fearful looks. After she ate, she walked toward the table anyway, and couldn't help but notice how many conversations seemed to stop. Some of the men excused themselves before she even reached the table. With a sigh, she changed direction and left the dining hall, feeling alone again. Instead of going to her cottage, she wandered around the city for about an hour until she found herself at the unused lookout tower. She climbed the rickety ladder and stared up at the stars.
"Eliora?" came Davin's voice.
She jumped slightly, having almost been asleep. "Yes?"
The branches creaked as he ascended the ladder.
She was dangling her feet but hanging onto the guard rail. "Why is everyone looking at me funny?"
He sat down beside her. "Well, everyone's heard what you did with the fire."
"So?"
"The demians seem quite pleased."
"The Council isn't."
"I didn't expect them to be," he replied.
"Why not? I saved the city from being burnt to the ground."
"Maybe. The fire could have changed direction. It happens."
"So you think I was reckless too?" she asked, her eyes brimming with tears. She leaned her head against her arms and stared into the trees.
"No. If I did, I would have told you when I found you."
"Do the others think I was reckless?"
"Well, Aidan's mad, but I think that's mostly because you haven't been paying attention in lessons these past two days. But I'm guessing you were anxious yesterday, and today you're dealing with the Council's disappointment."
She nodded. "But you didn't answer the question. I noticed they stopped talking when I walked up tonight."
He sighed. "They don't quite know what to make of it. They've gotten used to you, to a degree, as a sort of harmless, naive, nice young foreign woman."
"That's not so bad. I wish the word 'foreign' wasn't in there, though."
"Actually, 'woman' is almost as bad."
"Is it? I haven't studied northern culture very much. It really wasn't relevant to my duties." She shook her head. "No, no distractions right now. Why is everyone suddenl
y treating me different and looking at me funny?"
"Because you reminded them that you're the LightBearer?"
She stared at him blankly. "I don't understand."
"Most of the people here are prejudiced," he said bluntly. "The LightBearer is supposed to be a great warrior from these lands, a leader of men who'll gather an army of Light, and fight a war to defeat the ShadowWalker."
"But people didn't even know about Avatars until I got here," she reminded him.
"That didn't matter. People still had an idea of what the LightBearer was supposed to be. When you came, you were none of those things, so you were treated as any foreign woman would be treated, except someone's good sense prevailed over prejudice and you were taught to fight. You were relegated to the lowest status in this community, despite your status with the gods."
She nodded. "I begin to understand. My society has social ranks too."
"A woman obeys orders. A woman does not fight. A woman doesn't ride a horse bareback and gallop into danger. And a woman certainly doesn't defy prejudice to prove she's a worthy Champion of Light."
She sighed. "That's what Jomei hinted at. I've forced them to confront their prejudices, and no one seems to like it."
"You've also touched on an old, old fear in this part of the world."
She thought about this for a moment. "Mages."
He nodded. "Not even a sorcerer can control the elements. No sorcerer would have been powerful enough to contain that blaze. And somewhere they think, 'If she can stop the fire, she can start it too.' They're afraid the land will again be scorched and wasted."
"I wouldn't do that."
"Not even to kill the ShadowWalker?"
"I don't know," she answered in a small voice. They were silent for a few moments. "What am I supposed to do? I've done everything I've been told to do to the best of
Her face fell. "What do you mean?"
"You're the LightBearer. You're supposed to fight the ShadowWalker and defeat the Darkness. If you died, he would stand unopposed. Do you understand that?" he demanded harshly.
She nodded wordlessly.
"If you got into trouble out there, there was nothing we could do to help you. We aren't mages, and we aren't demi-gods. Even if the fire didn't hurt you, you could have been attacked."
"By whom?" she asked blankly.
"Servants of Darkness. You've already told us your Order located the ShadowWalker. How do you know that the Order of Darkness hasn't located you and was just waiting for an opportunity to strike?"
She shook her head. "I don't," she answered in a small voice.
"That's right. You don't," he snapped. "We're also a little concerned you didn't bother to tell us that you could ride a horse."
"You never asked, and I forgot."
"That's not an excuse. We need to know your abilities so we don't waste time teaching you what you already know."
"I'm sorry."
"Yes, well, now we know. Where did you get that animal?"
"It's a gift from the god."
"I see. The responsibility of keeping the horse is yours. Do you know how to properly take care of a horse?"
She nodded.
"Good. Now, about your punishment."
She looked up sharply.
"We can't punish you if you don't accept our judgment. You aren't a member of our community."
Tears started to sting her eyes, and Jomei looked at her apologetically.
"But since you live here, we hope you'll put yourself under the same laws everyone else must obey."
She nodded, blinking furiously.
"Good. I'm glad you understand. If you were a member of the community, we could revoke some of your privileges. We could forbid you to leave, or limit your activities. However, you haven't yet left the city, and we need you to continue learning to fight and study. So, we really can't hand down any punishment. Just know that you have earned our disappointment. If you want to be a worthy Champion, you should listen to the orders and advice of your superiors. Got that?"
She nodded. "What about Mulago?" she muttered.
"Mulago?" Hialmar repeated. "We're still making arrangements for the trip. Given your actions with the fire, we feel it best to delay the trip. You may go now."
Without a word, she stood up and left. She found herself at Jomei's cottage and waited for him to arrive.
"I'm sorry, Eliora. I tried to tell them that this wasn't the right way to go about things, but I was out-voted."
"Not part of the community?" she said hollowly.
He sighed. "I'm sorry."
"What do they want from me? I've tried to do everything they've asked. I'm learning the language. I'm learning to fight. I'm dressing just like everyone else. I'm doing all the things the only people my age do. I haven't run off, I haven't been pushing about getting a mage tutor. I've tried to make friends and fit in. Was I supposed to let the city burn?" she asked, her voice becoming choked with sobs.
"Well, it's been burnt before."
"But if they're so worried about the ShadowWalker coming to find me, why would they want the delay of having to rebuild their own city? I don't understand at all," she sniffled.
"I think you do. You just don't want to say it."
"They're prejudiced against me," she replied in a low voice. "I always try to see the best of people, and hope they can rise above those sorts of things. You know, judge people on actions and intentions, not appearances or customs."
"Well, your actions did seem to be a bit reckless. How did you know you could tame that fire?"
"I didn't, but I was sure I should try. You said you prayed to the Light One for some way for me to prove myself. Maybe that fire was the answer to your prayer."
Jomei looked startled. "I suppose it could have been," he stuttered. “That's not the kind of answer I wanted, though.”
"I guess it didn't work."
"Not immediately, no. But you did show them that you do have significant power. No mage could have done that."
"I don't think that's a good thing to remind people," she replied, thinking of something Aidan said to her. "I gather mages aren't well liked around here. Aidan told me about an area north of Trevelan where the land got scorched during the Mage Wars."
"The Charred Land? Yes, there is that." After a pause, he said, "We should start your lessons and get your mind off of this, alright?"
She nodded, feeling that things were most certainly not all right, and they got to work. When lunch time came around, she started to notice some odd stares and fearful looks from the others. Thoroughly discouraged, she kept messing up in weapons practice, which lead to Aidan getting very upset at her.
"Dammit, you've got to pay attention," he snapped, bringing up the practice blade to her throat. "That's the third time you've fallen for that feint."
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"Don't be sorry, be attentive."
She just couldn't concentrate on fighting.
"Dammit, Eliora," he swore about twenty minutes later. "If you're not going to pay attention, we shouldn't do this. I could accidentally hurt you."
"No, I'm sorry. I'll try harder."
"Don't try. Just do it. Honestly. Do you think just because you beat back one fire you don't have to pay attention to your fighting lessons?" he scolded.
"What? No, no, I'm sorry."
"Quit apologizing and pay attention!"
It was a very frustrating afternoon. When dinner time came, Aidan was still angry with her, and left her alone to eat. She thought about joining in the games, just to improve her mood, but she noticed many of the young men were giving her odd, fearful looks. After she ate, she walked toward the table anyway, and couldn't help but notice how many conversations seemed to stop. Some of the men excused themselves before she even reached the table. With a sigh, she changed direction and left the dining hall, feeling alone again. Instead of going to her cottage, she wandered around the city for about an hour until she found herself at the unused lookout tower. She climbed the rickety ladder and stared up at the stars.
"Eliora?" came Davin's voice.
She jumped slightly, having almost been asleep. "Yes?"
The branches creaked as he ascended the ladder.
She was dangling her feet but hanging onto the guard rail. "Why is everyone looking at me funny?"
He sat down beside her. "Well, everyone's heard what you did with the fire."
"So?"
"The demians seem quite pleased."
"The Council isn't."
"I didn't expect them to be," he replied.
"Why not? I saved the city from being burnt to the ground."
"Maybe. The fire could have changed direction. It happens."
"So you think I was reckless too?" she asked, her eyes brimming with tears. She leaned her head against her arms and stared into the trees.
"No. If I did, I would have told you when I found you."
"Do the others think I was reckless?"
"Well, Aidan's mad, but I think that's mostly because you haven't been paying attention in lessons these past two days. But I'm guessing you were anxious yesterday, and today you're dealing with the Council's disappointment."
She nodded. "But you didn't answer the question. I noticed they stopped talking when I walked up tonight."
He sighed. "They don't quite know what to make of it. They've gotten used to you, to a degree, as a sort of harmless, naive, nice young foreign woman."
"That's not so bad. I wish the word 'foreign' wasn't in there, though."
"Actually, 'woman' is almost as bad."
"Is it? I haven't studied northern culture very much. It really wasn't relevant to my duties." She shook her head. "No, no distractions right now. Why is everyone suddenl
"Because you reminded them that you're the LightBearer?"
She stared at him blankly. "I don't understand."
"Most of the people here are prejudiced," he said bluntly. "The LightBearer is supposed to be a great warrior from these lands, a leader of men who'll gather an army of Light, and fight a war to defeat the ShadowWalker."
"But people didn't even know about Avatars until I got here," she reminded him.
"That didn't matter. People still had an idea of what the LightBearer was supposed to be. When you came, you were none of those things, so you were treated as any foreign woman would be treated, except someone's good sense prevailed over prejudice and you were taught to fight. You were relegated to the lowest status in this community, despite your status with the gods."
She nodded. "I begin to understand. My society has social ranks too."
"A woman obeys orders. A woman does not fight. A woman doesn't ride a horse bareback and gallop into danger. And a woman certainly doesn't defy prejudice to prove she's a worthy Champion of Light."
She sighed. "That's what Jomei hinted at. I've forced them to confront their prejudices, and no one seems to like it."
"You've also touched on an old, old fear in this part of the world."
She thought about this for a moment. "Mages."
He nodded. "Not even a sorcerer can control the elements. No sorcerer would have been powerful enough to contain that blaze. And somewhere they think, 'If she can stop the fire, she can start it too.' They're afraid the land will again be scorched and wasted."
"I wouldn't do that."
"Not even to kill the ShadowWalker?"
"I don't know," she answered in a small voice. They were silent for a few moments. "What am I supposed to do? I've done everything I've been told to do to the best of