A Song of Snow and Ashes by S.J. Drew
now I'm afraid he'll think I'm abandoning him."
"Can't you just tell him how you feel?" he asked.
"I can, but I don't want him to take this move the wrong way. It could be politically tricky for him."
"Well, I think it's a real shame when someone's family has to come in second to politics. You're his daughter. Doesn't he want you to be happy?"
"Of course."
"Well, just tell him that," he said.
"It's not so simple," she sighed.
"Sure it is. Look, I know it's hard when family lets you down, but you can't let his political problems make you unhappy. If he thinks his political status is more important than your happiness, then I think it should give you more reason to move out and make your own way. I mean, he needs to get his priorities in order. Anyway, since your father's the mayor, is there going to be a time when what you do couldn't be used against him politically?"
She nodded. "You're right. Father is usually understanding. I know this is a bad time, but if I wait until it's not, then I'll never leave. There's always some crisis," she said with a touch of bitterness.
"If your father doesn't see reason, I'm sure he will eventually."
"Thank you, Donnan. You're so understanding."
"Well, I try," he said.
"I feel much better about this already. I think that this will be the right decision in the long run, but I just wanted to hear it from someone else."
"I think it'll be really good for you. So where are you thinking of moving to? I know some nice apartments if you want to start out small."
"Meldon."
He blinked in surprise. "Meldon? What? Why?" he asked, aghast.
"If I'm going to move, I'm going to make it count. If I move out of Renfrew, it will be politically easier for my family."
"What about your job?"
"I've already talked with several schools in Meldon and I'm fairly certain I could get a permanent position starting with the summer term."
"But what about your friends?"
She looked sad as she stirred her coffee. "Well, I've found out in the past month that many of my friends weren't the people I thought they were. They can't find the time to spend with me anymore. I don't know why and they won't tell me, although I suspect it's the current political climate. So maybe it's time I found some new friends."
"What about me?"
"I'll be sorry to leave you, of course. You've been a better friend to me than I could have imagined and I like you very much. But there's just not enough here for me anymore."
"So you'll leave, just like that?" he asked, angrily.
She frowned a little. "No, when the spring term ends. You were very supportive a moment ago."
"That's before you said you were moving to Meldon."
"It's not that far away. Anyway, the location is key to the whole move. Renfrew is just not a place for me anymore."
"It could be. Maybe your friends will come around," he said desperately.
"I don't know why they should. I'm not so naïve I can't see where my father's career is headed. I don't like it, and that's part of the reason I want to leave. Besides, if the worst doesn't happen, how can I forgive them for abandoning me like this?"
"You're a very forgiving person. You forgave Reese."
"I did, but you'll notice I don't associate with him anymore. Forgiving someone for hurting you is not the same as forgetting about it. Right now, I see no reason to renew intimacies with people who are only friends when things are going well. That's only setting myself up to get hurt again." She took a sip of coffee and set the cup down firmly. "No. I'm going to leave. I'm going to start fresh in a new city. It's the best thing."
"But I don't want you to go."
"I know. But it'll be better this way."
She finished her coffee while he quietly sulked. "This isn't what was supposed to happen," he thought. "What am I going to do? I can't just quit. I've got Adrie handled for now. I guess I'll have to do that charm spell on her too so she doesn't put a hit on me or something. Damn, I'll have to start all over. Maybe I can get Adrie to get me a job in the Meldon Salt Guild. Damn it, why's she leaving? She hasn't mentioned leaving before now. What made her decide to go just like that?"
She started to count out money for the check.
"It's a guy, isn't it?"
"What?"
"There's some guy in Meldon. That's why you want to move all the sudden. Some teacher I'll bet to help you get a job."
"No, there's no suitor," she said, annoyed.
"Then why do you want to go?"
"I just told you."
"Yeah, but we're doin' so well, so there must be another guy."
A flush rose on her face. "Even if there was another man, which there isn't, it shouldn't matter because I have told you before we are not exclusive." She slapped the money down and abruptly left the coffee shop.
"Aolani! Wait up!" he called, and chased after her.
"You don't have to walk me home," she snapped. "This is my life. I'm tired of being treated as someone's possession or property who can be told what to do. I'm in control of my own life and I'm sorry if you don't like it. I'd hoped you'd be more supportive. But if you're not, then just leave me alone."
"Aolani, don't be like that," he said.
"Be like what? Assertive? This is my life and no one is going to tell me what to do. I'm going to leave this city and I don't care who objects."
"Oh, come on, you don't have to go. Please stay."
"I've made up my mind," she said, walking quite quickly.
The wind was starting to pick up and the air was turning humid and oppressive.
"But what about everything I've done for you?"
"You've been a good friend and perhaps a bit more, and as I said, I'm sorry to leave you, but this is what's best for me. If you were really a good friend, you'd offer to help me out."
"Damn it, Aolani, you've got no idea what I've done for you."
She stopped, crossed her arms, and glared at him. "So tell me."
"I've done everything for you. I've been attracted to you from the first day you walked down the street and didn't even notice me. I wanted to be higher class so I could talk to you. I wanted to get a better job so I could be higher class. I got a job with a guild and I learned how to talk and how to behave and I did it all so I could be with you," he said. "You can't leave me now. I'm sure you're friends will come around, or you can make new friends. You can have my friends. Whatever you want, I'll get it for you if you'll only stay with me and be with me."
"Donnan, I appreciate you telling me this, but it doesn't change my decision," she said in a soft voice. "I have to live my own life, not what someone else wants for me. I've been doing that too long. You have to live your own life, not a life for someone else. I'm sorry." She started to walk away.
Lightning forked through the sky and a few stray, fat raindrops hit the street.
He chased after her. "You can't go. You just can't. You're best thing that's ever happened to me. You're beautiful and smart and nice..."
"Donnan," she said severely. "I'm sorry. I like you very much, but it's not enough for me to stay."
"Maybe you'll change your mind in a couple of months. Spring isn't over yet."
"No. I need to start making arrangements now. I think we need a bit of a break. You're taking this much harder than I thought. We'll stop seeing each other for a couple of weeks so you can come to terms with this."
"What? No, no, that's not what I want at all. What can I do to change your mind? If you're low on cash, I can get you some. You want another job, well, I know some people who could help. Just let me know and I'll do it."
"There's nothing you can do," she said, exasperated. "I have to leave."
Thunder rumbled and it started to rain a little harder.
"You don't. You really don't."
"I do, I really do. Look, you go
home. I'll catch a coach and see you in a couple of weeks, after you've had a chance to calm down and think about this."
He grabbed her arm. "Aolani, I'm not lettin' you go."
"It's not your decision," she snapped. "Now release me. And if you continue to behave like this, it'll be more than a couple of weeks before you see me again."
The rain was now coming down in sheets. Both of them were soaked through within minutes and didn't even notice.
"I'm not going to lose you."
"Let go," she ordered, trying to pull away.
"Damn it, I didn't want to do it like this, but you're not givin' me a choice."
"Let go of me right this minute!"
He performed the mind spell on her that he had been using on her suitors and friends. Her mouth went slack and her eyes went glassy and wide. "You don't want to leave Renfrew. Meldon wouldn't be any better. You don't need those other people to be happy. You want to stay here and you want to keep seeing me. In fact, you think maybe we should start being exclusive."
She nodded blankly.
His look turned into a leer. "In fact, we had such a good night, you think you ought to come to my apartment and spend the night, especially since you're completely soaked."
She nodded again.
"Well, shall we go?"
Her expression changed from blank to confused to finally a smile. "I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"
"How you've decided you don't need those other people."
"Oh, yes, of course. I don't need friends when it's only politically convenient. I've still got you and you're so supportive. Moving to Meldon. What was I thinking? Why should it be any different there? And I'd have to start all over."
"So, shall I walk you home?"
She took his hand in hers. "Sure, but how about your home?
"Can't you just tell him how you feel?" he asked.
"I can, but I don't want him to take this move the wrong way. It could be politically tricky for him."
"Well, I think it's a real shame when someone's family has to come in second to politics. You're his daughter. Doesn't he want you to be happy?"
"Of course."
"Well, just tell him that," he said.
"It's not so simple," she sighed.
"Sure it is. Look, I know it's hard when family lets you down, but you can't let his political problems make you unhappy. If he thinks his political status is more important than your happiness, then I think it should give you more reason to move out and make your own way. I mean, he needs to get his priorities in order. Anyway, since your father's the mayor, is there going to be a time when what you do couldn't be used against him politically?"
She nodded. "You're right. Father is usually understanding. I know this is a bad time, but if I wait until it's not, then I'll never leave. There's always some crisis," she said with a touch of bitterness.
"If your father doesn't see reason, I'm sure he will eventually."
"Thank you, Donnan. You're so understanding."
"Well, I try," he said.
"I feel much better about this already. I think that this will be the right decision in the long run, but I just wanted to hear it from someone else."
"I think it'll be really good for you. So where are you thinking of moving to? I know some nice apartments if you want to start out small."
"Meldon."
He blinked in surprise. "Meldon? What? Why?" he asked, aghast.
"If I'm going to move, I'm going to make it count. If I move out of Renfrew, it will be politically easier for my family."
"What about your job?"
"I've already talked with several schools in Meldon and I'm fairly certain I could get a permanent position starting with the summer term."
"But what about your friends?"
She looked sad as she stirred her coffee. "Well, I've found out in the past month that many of my friends weren't the people I thought they were. They can't find the time to spend with me anymore. I don't know why and they won't tell me, although I suspect it's the current political climate. So maybe it's time I found some new friends."
"What about me?"
"I'll be sorry to leave you, of course. You've been a better friend to me than I could have imagined and I like you very much. But there's just not enough here for me anymore."
"So you'll leave, just like that?" he asked, angrily.
She frowned a little. "No, when the spring term ends. You were very supportive a moment ago."
"That's before you said you were moving to Meldon."
"It's not that far away. Anyway, the location is key to the whole move. Renfrew is just not a place for me anymore."
"It could be. Maybe your friends will come around," he said desperately.
"I don't know why they should. I'm not so naïve I can't see where my father's career is headed. I don't like it, and that's part of the reason I want to leave. Besides, if the worst doesn't happen, how can I forgive them for abandoning me like this?"
"You're a very forgiving person. You forgave Reese."
"I did, but you'll notice I don't associate with him anymore. Forgiving someone for hurting you is not the same as forgetting about it. Right now, I see no reason to renew intimacies with people who are only friends when things are going well. That's only setting myself up to get hurt again." She took a sip of coffee and set the cup down firmly. "No. I'm going to leave. I'm going to start fresh in a new city. It's the best thing."
"But I don't want you to go."
"I know. But it'll be better this way."
She finished her coffee while he quietly sulked. "This isn't what was supposed to happen," he thought. "What am I going to do? I can't just quit. I've got Adrie handled for now. I guess I'll have to do that charm spell on her too so she doesn't put a hit on me or something. Damn, I'll have to start all over. Maybe I can get Adrie to get me a job in the Meldon Salt Guild. Damn it, why's she leaving? She hasn't mentioned leaving before now. What made her decide to go just like that?"
She started to count out money for the check.
"It's a guy, isn't it?"
"What?"
"There's some guy in Meldon. That's why you want to move all the sudden. Some teacher I'll bet to help you get a job."
"No, there's no suitor," she said, annoyed.
"Then why do you want to go?"
"I just told you."
"Yeah, but we're doin' so well, so there must be another guy."
A flush rose on her face. "Even if there was another man, which there isn't, it shouldn't matter because I have told you before we are not exclusive." She slapped the money down and abruptly left the coffee shop.
"Aolani! Wait up!" he called, and chased after her.
"You don't have to walk me home," she snapped. "This is my life. I'm tired of being treated as someone's possession or property who can be told what to do. I'm in control of my own life and I'm sorry if you don't like it. I'd hoped you'd be more supportive. But if you're not, then just leave me alone."
"Aolani, don't be like that," he said.
"Be like what? Assertive? This is my life and no one is going to tell me what to do. I'm going to leave this city and I don't care who objects."
"Oh, come on, you don't have to go. Please stay."
"I've made up my mind," she said, walking quite quickly.
The wind was starting to pick up and the air was turning humid and oppressive.
"But what about everything I've done for you?"
"You've been a good friend and perhaps a bit more, and as I said, I'm sorry to leave you, but this is what's best for me. If you were really a good friend, you'd offer to help me out."
"Damn it, Aolani, you've got no idea what I've done for you."
She stopped, crossed her arms, and glared at him. "So tell me."
"I've done everything for you. I've been attracted to you from the first day you walked down the street and didn't even notice me. I wanted to be higher class so I could talk to you. I wanted to get a better job so I could be higher class. I got a job with a guild and I learned how to talk and how to behave and I did it all so I could be with you," he said. "You can't leave me now. I'm sure you're friends will come around, or you can make new friends. You can have my friends. Whatever you want, I'll get it for you if you'll only stay with me and be with me."
"Donnan, I appreciate you telling me this, but it doesn't change my decision," she said in a soft voice. "I have to live my own life, not what someone else wants for me. I've been doing that too long. You have to live your own life, not a life for someone else. I'm sorry." She started to walk away.
Lightning forked through the sky and a few stray, fat raindrops hit the street.
He chased after her. "You can't go. You just can't. You're best thing that's ever happened to me. You're beautiful and smart and nice..."
"Donnan," she said severely. "I'm sorry. I like you very much, but it's not enough for me to stay."
"Maybe you'll change your mind in a couple of months. Spring isn't over yet."
"No. I need to start making arrangements now. I think we need a bit of a break. You're taking this much harder than I thought. We'll stop seeing each other for a couple of weeks so you can come to terms with this."
"What? No, no, that's not what I want at all. What can I do to change your mind? If you're low on cash, I can get you some. You want another job, well, I know some people who could help. Just let me know and I'll do it."
"There's nothing you can do," she said, exasperated. "I have to leave."
Thunder rumbled and it started to rain a little harder.
"You don't. You really don't."
"I do, I really do. Look, you go
He grabbed her arm. "Aolani, I'm not lettin' you go."
"It's not your decision," she snapped. "Now release me. And if you continue to behave like this, it'll be more than a couple of weeks before you see me again."
The rain was now coming down in sheets. Both of them were soaked through within minutes and didn't even notice.
"I'm not going to lose you."
"Let go," she ordered, trying to pull away.
"Damn it, I didn't want to do it like this, but you're not givin' me a choice."
"Let go of me right this minute!"
He performed the mind spell on her that he had been using on her suitors and friends. Her mouth went slack and her eyes went glassy and wide. "You don't want to leave Renfrew. Meldon wouldn't be any better. You don't need those other people to be happy. You want to stay here and you want to keep seeing me. In fact, you think maybe we should start being exclusive."
She nodded blankly.
His look turned into a leer. "In fact, we had such a good night, you think you ought to come to my apartment and spend the night, especially since you're completely soaked."
She nodded again.
"Well, shall we go?"
Her expression changed from blank to confused to finally a smile. "I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"
"How you've decided you don't need those other people."
"Oh, yes, of course. I don't need friends when it's only politically convenient. I've still got you and you're so supportive. Moving to Meldon. What was I thinking? Why should it be any different there? And I'd have to start all over."
"So, shall I walk you home?"
She took his hand in hers. "Sure, but how about your home?