A Song of Snow and Ashes by S.J. Drew
"How could you? You're my brother! You're my best friend! How could you set me up like this?"
"It was the only way,” Blake said. “You wouldn't listen. I tried to warn you. Alain tried to warn you. The Darkness was too strong. Only the LightBearer could save you."
"Well, she did a great job, didn't she?" he retorted. "You betrayed me!" He lashed out with a lightning bolt, which smashed into the shield spells and knocked them both to the side, but they were alive.
Eliora winced with pain as the bolt hit her shields.
"Oh, gods, Alain, Blake," he called, again trying and failing to stand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
They didn't hesitate to return to his side.
"The Darkness has got you, little brother," Alain said sadly.
"Can't you do something?" Donnan asked. "Blake, you can use that spell again. That Rite spell you used to save my life before, in the alley."
Alain looked surprised, but didn't press for an explanation.
"I can't, Donnan. I don't know that spell right now. The Dark One gave it to me to save your life. Once I had done it, it went away."
"Well maybe you could pray," he snapped.
"I think it's too late," Blake said.
He started to feel very lightheaded and was glad he was already on his knees. "No, Alain, Blake, I don't want to die," he said, now feeling more scared than angry. "I don't want to die."
Alain helped prop him up on his broad shoulder. Blake took one of his hands.
He looked up at Eliora with pale blue eyes that were full of fear.
"I can't save your life," she said miserably. "The Darkness is too strong. If you live it will destroy your soul."
"At least I'd be alive," he retorted. "Alain, please."
"I'm sorry. All I can do is be here now."
"Blake?"
"I did the best I could to save you, Donnan, I did. But I couldn't."
Eliora felt wretched for just watching instead of helping, and felt as though she was intruding on something very personal. She started to sing just to calm her nerves.
His vision was starting to get blurry. He could see Alain's darker blue eyes and Blake's dark eyes were filled with tears. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice sounding strangely distant. "I messed everything up, didn't I?"
"No, you did what you thought you had to," Alain said.
"No, I didn't. I started doing what I wanted. I did stop caring about other people. I just wanted a better life so badly I thought anythin' I did was worth it. I was wrong. You were right and you tried to warn me and I didn't listen." He drew a ragged breath and felt Blake's hand tighten around his own.
"I'm sorry, little brother. I'm sorry," Alain said. "I tried to keep an eye on you. I tried and I failed."
"I tried to watch out for you too. You were my only real friend after I joined the Order," Blake said. "I tried to watch out for the state of your soul and I failed. You were my-my best friend. I'm sorry."
His vision was failing now and his body was feeling numb. It took a lot of energy to try to speak. "You did your best, both of you. Tell Aolani I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt her. Please, I'm scared."
"We're here for you, Donnan," Alain said, holding his brother. "We're right here."
"I can't see very well," he mumbled.
"Rest now, Donnan. Your soul will be at peace," Blake replied, his voice cracking with sorrow.
"I know. I know why you did it. What's that music?"
They looked at each other, puzzled, then looked at Eliora.
She was startled that he could even hear her over the wind and rain given how close he was to dying and given the other two couldn't seem to hear her. "It's a song. It's from my land. It's a song of lament for the dying when we can't help them. It's-it's supposed to ease their passage and put their mind and soul at rest."
He managed to focus on her. She was glowing with a faint white light that made her easy to see through the rain even in his condition. "You're really sorry. I can hear the sorrow in your song. You really did want to save me."
She nodded. "I really did. I really do."
"Keep singing. It's pretty. It makes me feel warm. Alain, Blake, don't you two go anywhere."
"I won't leave you, little brother."
"I'll be right here."
“Both of you always were here for me, and I never thanked you for that. Thank you.” Donnan closed his eyes.
Eliora resumed the song, louder now and with more conviction. The rhythm was but slow but strong and the tone full of sadness but also of peace.
"I care for both of you. Don't be too sad," he murmured. "I understand why you did this. It was the only way to save me."
She continued to sing as the rain poured down. Blood and tears mixed with the drops and flowed across the burnt grass. The rhythm of the song slowed down, as though in time to the fading heartbeat of the dying man. By the time the last note was carried away in the wind, the Armor of Ice was gone and Donnan was dead. Eliora felt the power of the wind and waves rush through her body, but she barely noticed. She started really crying now, great heaving sobs of sorrow.
"You never told me you saved his life. He never told me," Alain said.
"Yeah. He didn't want to upset you," Blake responded in a dull voice. "There were some drunk guards. He was alone. They were looking for trouble. I found him before they finished him off. He would have died by morning. I prayed to the Dark One and It put a spell in my mind, a blood ritual." Blake showed Alain the matching scars. "Except for this mark, everything was healed."
"You shared your blood for him?"
The acolyte nodded.
Alain looked sort of surprised. "Blake, I had no idea you cared that much."
He sort of shrugged. "Neither did he even after I did that."
Alain left Blake holding the body and walked up to Eliora. "You did what you had to do," the large man said to her, his dark blue eyes red-rimmed from crying.
"I-I killed your brother. I'm so sorry."
"I know you are. You saved his soul and gave him some peace at the end. There was nothin' more you could do." He looked over at the body and at Blake, who hadn't moved. "There was nothin' more any of us could do."
"Is there-is there anything I can do for you? For either of you?" she asked, trying to get control of herself.
"I can't afford a funeral on my salary. Blake's got no money as an acolyte."
"Ex-acolyte," he said suddenly.
"Blake, are you sure?"
He reached under his shirt and pulled out his holy symbol. "The Dark One saved his life only to nearly destroy his soul. I understand the place of the Order of Darkness, and my place is no longer as part of that Order." He threw the black necklace into the cemetery as far as it would go. It was quickly lost in the rain. "It's only fitting it stays here with the dead," he said bitterly.
"I don't know if he'd want to rest here anyway. Not after what happened," Alain said.
"My-my people burn the bodies of the dead," she said. "And scatter their ashes to the winds in a place they felt at home. It's symbolic of their souls finally being free of the mortal world. It-it helps the family let go."
"What do you do to remember the deceased?" Alain asked. "If you don't have a grave marker for the body?"
"There are bodies buried here?" she asked. "Oh. Their story is made into a song by the lyric-smiths and incorporated into the oral history of the family. At least in the old days. In modern times, their story and song are written into the great family book. We remember them on days of renewal and darkness, like the winter solstice."
While they considered this, a small gray cat walked up to Blake and started to nuzzle him.
"Donnan's cat," he said, and checked to see if it was still magical. One look in its eyes and he knew it was just an ordinary cat now.
"I think it likes you," Alain said, suddenly worried for Blake. He knew the ex-acolyte was taking Donn
an's death even harder than he was. "You should take care of it."
"I don't know anything about animals," he said irritably, trying to push it away, but it just came back.
"Blake, someone has to take care of it."
"Fine. I think we should burn the body," he said. "It seems fitting."
"Alright. And I think you should write his story," Alain said.
"Why me? Why not you?"
"Because I think you'd do a better job. I don't read and I don't write. I think with my gut and my sword." He looked at Eliora. "There was a place we used to go when we were small, before we lived in Renfrew. It was a hill so high on clear days we could almost see the ocean. Well, at least that's what we thought. I think that's where his ashes should go."
"I can take you there now, if you like," she said.
He nodded and picked up the body.
Blake picked up the cat.
She opened a portal into the Light Realm. "You must stay together. You won't be able to see the path, but we will get there if you follow me."
They nodded and followed her.
They walked out of the portal onto a sunny, hilly area. It was getting late in the day now and the air was heavy with the scent of late spring flowers and grass.
Alain walked up one of the hills and breathed deeply. "This is the place. We'd come here and play together and talk about our future. He always had big plans for the future," he said, tears starting to sting his eyes. He laid the body down. "Do you need some wood or somethin'?"
"No."
"Don't damage the grass," he said.
"That's tricky, but I can do it." She concentrated, and the body burst into flame. Then she started to sing the Litany to the Innocent Dead.
Alain put a hand on Blake's shoulder in part for
"It was the only way,” Blake said. “You wouldn't listen. I tried to warn you. Alain tried to warn you. The Darkness was too strong. Only the LightBearer could save you."
"Well, she did a great job, didn't she?" he retorted. "You betrayed me!" He lashed out with a lightning bolt, which smashed into the shield spells and knocked them both to the side, but they were alive.
Eliora winced with pain as the bolt hit her shields.
"Oh, gods, Alain, Blake," he called, again trying and failing to stand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
They didn't hesitate to return to his side.
"The Darkness has got you, little brother," Alain said sadly.
"Can't you do something?" Donnan asked. "Blake, you can use that spell again. That Rite spell you used to save my life before, in the alley."
Alain looked surprised, but didn't press for an explanation.
"I can't, Donnan. I don't know that spell right now. The Dark One gave it to me to save your life. Once I had done it, it went away."
"Well maybe you could pray," he snapped.
"I think it's too late," Blake said.
He started to feel very lightheaded and was glad he was already on his knees. "No, Alain, Blake, I don't want to die," he said, now feeling more scared than angry. "I don't want to die."
Alain helped prop him up on his broad shoulder. Blake took one of his hands.
He looked up at Eliora with pale blue eyes that were full of fear.
"I can't save your life," she said miserably. "The Darkness is too strong. If you live it will destroy your soul."
"At least I'd be alive," he retorted. "Alain, please."
"I'm sorry. All I can do is be here now."
"Blake?"
"I did the best I could to save you, Donnan, I did. But I couldn't."
Eliora felt wretched for just watching instead of helping, and felt as though she was intruding on something very personal. She started to sing just to calm her nerves.
His vision was starting to get blurry. He could see Alain's darker blue eyes and Blake's dark eyes were filled with tears. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice sounding strangely distant. "I messed everything up, didn't I?"
"No, you did what you thought you had to," Alain said.
"No, I didn't. I started doing what I wanted. I did stop caring about other people. I just wanted a better life so badly I thought anythin' I did was worth it. I was wrong. You were right and you tried to warn me and I didn't listen." He drew a ragged breath and felt Blake's hand tighten around his own.
"I'm sorry, little brother. I'm sorry," Alain said. "I tried to keep an eye on you. I tried and I failed."
"I tried to watch out for you too. You were my only real friend after I joined the Order," Blake said. "I tried to watch out for the state of your soul and I failed. You were my-my best friend. I'm sorry."
His vision was failing now and his body was feeling numb. It took a lot of energy to try to speak. "You did your best, both of you. Tell Aolani I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt her. Please, I'm scared."
"We're here for you, Donnan," Alain said, holding his brother. "We're right here."
"I can't see very well," he mumbled.
"Rest now, Donnan. Your soul will be at peace," Blake replied, his voice cracking with sorrow.
"I know. I know why you did it. What's that music?"
They looked at each other, puzzled, then looked at Eliora.
She was startled that he could even hear her over the wind and rain given how close he was to dying and given the other two couldn't seem to hear her. "It's a song. It's from my land. It's a song of lament for the dying when we can't help them. It's-it's supposed to ease their passage and put their mind and soul at rest."
He managed to focus on her. She was glowing with a faint white light that made her easy to see through the rain even in his condition. "You're really sorry. I can hear the sorrow in your song. You really did want to save me."
She nodded. "I really did. I really do."
"Keep singing. It's pretty. It makes me feel warm. Alain, Blake, don't you two go anywhere."
"I won't leave you, little brother."
"I'll be right here."
“Both of you always were here for me, and I never thanked you for that. Thank you.” Donnan closed his eyes.
Eliora resumed the song, louder now and with more conviction. The rhythm was but slow but strong and the tone full of sadness but also of peace.
"I care for both of you. Don't be too sad," he murmured. "I understand why you did this. It was the only way to save me."
She continued to sing as the rain poured down. Blood and tears mixed with the drops and flowed across the burnt grass. The rhythm of the song slowed down, as though in time to the fading heartbeat of the dying man. By the time the last note was carried away in the wind, the Armor of Ice was gone and Donnan was dead. Eliora felt the power of the wind and waves rush through her body, but she barely noticed. She started really crying now, great heaving sobs of sorrow.
"You never told me you saved his life. He never told me," Alain said.
"Yeah. He didn't want to upset you," Blake responded in a dull voice. "There were some drunk guards. He was alone. They were looking for trouble. I found him before they finished him off. He would have died by morning. I prayed to the Dark One and It put a spell in my mind, a blood ritual." Blake showed Alain the matching scars. "Except for this mark, everything was healed."
"You shared your blood for him?"
The acolyte nodded.
Alain looked sort of surprised. "Blake, I had no idea you cared that much."
He sort of shrugged. "Neither did he even after I did that."
Alain left Blake holding the body and walked up to Eliora. "You did what you had to do," the large man said to her, his dark blue eyes red-rimmed from crying.
"I-I killed your brother. I'm so sorry."
"I know you are. You saved his soul and gave him some peace at the end. There was nothin' more you could do." He looked over at the body and at Blake, who hadn't moved. "There was nothin' more any of us could do."
"Is there-is there anything I can do for you? For either of you?" she asked, trying to get control of herself.
"I can't afford a funeral on my salary. Blake's got no money as an acolyte."
"Ex-acolyte," he said suddenly.
"Blake, are you sure?"
He reached under his shirt and pulled out his holy symbol. "The Dark One saved his life only to nearly destroy his soul. I understand the place of the Order of Darkness, and my place is no longer as part of that Order." He threw the black necklace into the cemetery as far as it would go. It was quickly lost in the rain. "It's only fitting it stays here with the dead," he said bitterly.
"I don't know if he'd want to rest here anyway. Not after what happened," Alain said.
"My-my people burn the bodies of the dead," she said. "And scatter their ashes to the winds in a place they felt at home. It's symbolic of their souls finally being free of the mortal world. It-it helps the family let go."
"What do you do to remember the deceased?" Alain asked. "If you don't have a grave marker for the body?"
"There are bodies buried here?" she asked. "Oh. Their story is made into a song by the lyric-smiths and incorporated into the oral history of the family. At least in the old days. In modern times, their story and song are written into the great family book. We remember them on days of renewal and darkness, like the winter solstice."
While they considered this, a small gray cat walked up to Blake and started to nuzzle him.
"Donnan's cat," he said, and checked to see if it was still magical. One look in its eyes and he knew it was just an ordinary cat now.
"I think it likes you," Alain said, suddenly worried for Blake. He knew the ex-acolyte was taking Donn
"I don't know anything about animals," he said irritably, trying to push it away, but it just came back.
"Blake, someone has to take care of it."
"Fine. I think we should burn the body," he said. "It seems fitting."
"Alright. And I think you should write his story," Alain said.
"Why me? Why not you?"
"Because I think you'd do a better job. I don't read and I don't write. I think with my gut and my sword." He looked at Eliora. "There was a place we used to go when we were small, before we lived in Renfrew. It was a hill so high on clear days we could almost see the ocean. Well, at least that's what we thought. I think that's where his ashes should go."
"I can take you there now, if you like," she said.
He nodded and picked up the body.
Blake picked up the cat.
She opened a portal into the Light Realm. "You must stay together. You won't be able to see the path, but we will get there if you follow me."
They nodded and followed her.
They walked out of the portal onto a sunny, hilly area. It was getting late in the day now and the air was heavy with the scent of late spring flowers and grass.
Alain walked up one of the hills and breathed deeply. "This is the place. We'd come here and play together and talk about our future. He always had big plans for the future," he said, tears starting to sting his eyes. He laid the body down. "Do you need some wood or somethin'?"
"No."
"Don't damage the grass," he said.
"That's tricky, but I can do it." She concentrated, and the body burst into flame. Then she started to sing the Litany to the Innocent Dead.
Alain put a hand on Blake's shoulder in part for