Back To The Start Box Set: Five Full-Length Novels by Aly Martinez
When she doesn’t answer me, I take it one step further by pushing a hand into her panties. “Did you, babe?” I ask again and push the tip of my finger inside her.
She lets out a loud gasp, reaching forward, using my biceps to balance. Leaning her head against my chest, she nods.
“Jesse, you have to stop worrying so much. I like you, and I enjoyed the hell out of everything you did tonight.” I wrap my free hand around, cupping her perfect ass. “I loved everything about what happened in that bed. Have a little faith that I’ll be honest with you. If I don’t like something, you’ll know right away. However, I want you to be comfortable enough to try. Okay?”
Again she only nods.
“Now, I want to get you naked and try all of that again, just to make sure we both enjoyed it as much as we think we did. Purely for research purposes. For the betterment of science.”
She lets out the most amazing giggle. I swear I can feel it in my soul.
It really should terrify me. If I were a smarter man, this would be the moment I realize that things are moving entirely too fast. I would put some space between us, back up, and recognize that I am getting in too deep. It’s been two dates. My soul isn’t supposed to be anywhere near this yet. However, I’m not a smart man, so I suck in a deep breath and revel in feeling something again for the first time in over four years.
Chapter Sixteen
Brett
WHEN THURSDAY night rolls around, I am in no mood to go visit Sarah. Things have been getting worse with her recently. She’s hated me for a long time. I like to think that I have gotten used to that over the years, but every time I see her, it still burns. When I look into her eyes, I can still see the wild and crazy woman hiding underneath her sad, broken exterior. She is only a shadow of the woman I used to love. She’s lost too much weight over the years, and for a woman who used to love shopping, she is almost always wearing yoga pants and T-shirts these days.
Two years ago, Sarah cut off all her beautiful blond hair and dyed it red. I’m not talking just any color red either. She dyed it a shade of red that is not found naturally…anywhere. It’s definitely not like Manda’s deep, vibrant shade of wine. Sarah’s hair is the color of a fire engine. Ronald McDonald would probably sue for trademark infringement.
The first time I saw her new hair, I picked up a vase that was sitting on her kitchen counter and shattered it against her living room wall. I turned and immediately walked out, slamming the front door and causing a nearby picture frames to fall to the floor. I had already lost her mentally, but that was the first time I didn’t recognize her physically.
I mourned her loss all over again that night. I stayed up for hours alternating between drinking beer, breaking things, and punching holes in my walls. It killed me, and not because I’m one of those superficial assholes who cares when my woman cuts or colors her hair. It was just one more thing about Sarah that was lost to me.
“Wow, is it Thursday again already?” Sarah asks, pulling the door open.
“Yep.” I walk in carrying takeout gyros. Her favorite.
“Did you get extra Z sauce and feta?”
“Don’t I always?”
“Whatever.” She walks to the kitchen, pulling two beers out of the fridge. “What have you been up to since the last time I was graced with your presence?” she asks, but I know she doesn’t care. It’s a common courtesy she offers every week. She tunes out the moment I open my mouth to respond.
“We need to talk,” I say while moving to sit down on the couch.
“This should be good. What did I do wrong this time?”
“Don’t start with the attitude, Sarah.”
“If you don’t want my attitude, don’t come over anymore.”
“Do you ever get sick of being pissy all the time?”
“Nope! Do you ever get sick of hanging out where you’re not wanted?”
I shake my head and sigh. I’m exhausted from this back-and-forth we do all the time. It used to be something I just accepted, but after hanging out with Jesse for a few days, I don’t have the patience for Sarah’s verbal abuse anymore.
“Look, I’m not doing this tonight.”
“Oh, yippee!” she says sarcastically. “You know where the door is. You don’t have to do anything tonight.”
“I met someone,” I rush out before she has a chance to unleash anymore of her bitchiness. I’ve become the master of ignoring her snarky comments, but that doesn’t mean I’m immune. It still hurts like hell when she treats me like shit under her shoes.
“What the fuck!” she yells, shocking me with her reaction. I was expecting her to throw a freaking party, but judging by her tone, I have definitely pissed her off again. “You met someone?” She jumps from her seat and leans into my face aggressively.
“What is your problem?”
“You are my problem, Brett! I have been asking for a divorce for years. YEARS!” she screams only inches from my face.
I slide over far enough to get up without having to touch her. She has that crazy look in her eye, and I know if I sit there, even a minute longer, she will slap me. New Sarah has zero issues with getting physical during an argument. Sometimes, I think she hits me just because she knows I’ll leave as soon as she does.
“So this should make you ecstatic then!”
“You are such a dumbfuck!”
“Wow, thanks! Got any other cuss words you want to try out on me?” I know I’m not making this any better, but damn it gets under my skin when she starts acting like this. I try to reel it in though. Hopefully we can have this conversation before shit completely hits the fan. “Look, can you please calm down?”
“So…let me get this straight. I have been begging for a divorce and you fought me at every turn. I hired a divorce attorney. You and Caleb pulled some strings and had him drop me as a client. So I very kindly asked you for a divorce and you gave me some bullshit reason why we needed to stay married.”
“Sarah, you have no job. You need my health insurance for all your…care.”
“I have money! I can pay my own damn medical bills.”
“That settlement from the wreck isn’t going to last forever. Why would you waste it on expensive doctors’ bills?”
“So us staying married was only so I could use your health insurance?”
I can’t answer her without lying, so I stay silent.
“I didn’t think so. You are a selfish son of a bitch, Brett Sharp. You have made me fight to get rid of you, yet you still show up week after week like a lost little puppy dog who can’t find a home. I only let you in on Thursdays because I feel sorry for you. It’s pathetic! Now you stand here and tell me that you’re in love with someone else, so I guess I’m finally allowed to move on with my life, huh?”
“I didn’t say that I’m in love with Jesse.”
“Oh goodie, your soul mate has a name. Jesse—how perfect.”
“Are you jealous?” I ask almost humorously.
“Hell no! I’m pissed. You have been smothering me for years. Now some little tramp comes along spreading her legs and suddenly I’m allowed to move on with my life?” she says, and her slam about Jesse makes me lose all my calm and rational thoughts.
“I’m not going to say this again, Sarah, so I want you to listen very closely. Don’t you dare talk about Jesse like that. You can call me whatever you want, but you will watch your damn mouth when it comes to her.”
“Oh my God. You are such a tool!” She busts out laughing as if I’d told a joke. “She must be really dirty in the sack to have turned you into such a pussy already. If I recall correctly, that’s how you like it. Dirty, right?” She continues laughing, pausing to bite her lip and questioningly lift an eyebrow.
“Screw you. Send me whatever divorce papers you want. I’ll happily sign so that you can finally be rid of me once and for all.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen. You’re going to have to work for it—the same way I have for the last four fucking yea
“Okay, this conversation is over. When you are done acting like an ass, send me the papers.” I’m turning to walk away when I see her rear back, surprising me as she slams her fist into the side of my mouth.
“You bastard! You don’t get to make all the decisions. You don’t get to decide when this is over.”
I’ve never in my life hit a woman. I sure as hell would never lay my hands on Sarah. But this woman standing in front of me is really testing the limits of my self-control. I dab the blood from my lip, snatch my jacket off the back of the chair, and stride out the door before I can say or do something I will forever regret.
Standing in front of my car, I pat down my pockets, trying to locate my keys. “Fuck,” I mutter when I remember putting them on her table, along with my cell phone, when I first arrived. It sucks that I forgot my keys, but without my cell phone, I can’t even call Caleb for a ride. I have no choice but to go face that crazy woman again.
I wait a few minutes, giving us both time to calm down after our heated argument before walking back up to her front door knocking quietly.
“Who is it?” I hear her singsong from the other side.
“It’s me. I left my keys and phone. Can you just hand them to me and I’ll leave you alone?”
“Oh, no problem, sweetheart,” she says, cracking open the door. Sarah is standing in the doorway with a shit-eating grin on her face and holding my phone to her ear when she drops the bomb on me. “I was just chatting with Jesse.”
Chapter Seventeen
Jesse
“WELL, HELLO, officer,” I say when Brett’s number pops up on my phone.
“Jesse?” I hear a woman’s voice on the other end of the line.
I pull my phone away from my ear, checking the caller ID again. Yep, it definitely says Brett. “Yes.”
“Hi. This is going to sound strange, but I found your phone number in my husband’s phone. I know this is crazy, but we have had some infidelity issues in the past, and I had such a bad feeling when I ran across your number.”
“Um, okay?” I stumble out.
“Do you know Brett Sharp?”
“Yes,” I whisper as my heart drops to my stomach. Brett’s words from the Bears game flash into my mind. “I’m married.”
This must be some type of mistake though. He specifically told me that he’d lost his wife in a car accident. Crap. What if he lied to me? I don’t know him outside of the coffee shop. Who knows what he has going on at home. Feeling sick, I walk towards the barstool to sit down before my suddenly flimsy legs give out underneath me.
“Well, my name is Sarah Sharp. I’m Brett’s wife.” And with that one sentence, all of my fears are confirmed. “I just wanted to speak to you myself, make sure he wasn’t cheating on me again. I’m sorry. I know how awkward this must be for you. Trust me—I’m embarrassed myself. It’s just that I love him so much, but sadly, he has a bit of a wandering eye if you know what I mean. I just can’t seem to convince myself to leave him though. Jeez, now I’m just rambling. Anyway, I’m sure there is some explanation for all of this and I’m just overreacting. Do you work with Brett?”
“No.” I say nothing else, trying to keep the tears that start to pool in my eyes out of my voice.
“Do you know him from the gym then?” she asks in a weird jovial tone.
“No.” The tears start to flow down my cheeks and into my lap.
It’s ridiculous to feel this upset over a man I have been seeing for five days, but I stupidly thought Brett and I had something special. After hearing that he has been unfaithful in the past, I know those were just my own misguided feelings. I’m nothing special to him at all.
“Well, can you tell me where you did meet?” she snaps. I can’t even be mad at her attitude. She is just as much a victim here as I am.
“He…um, comes into Nell’s coffee shop for breakfast every morning. I work there, so we met a few months ago but only started seeing each other, uhh, romantically a few days ago.”
“Oh gosh, I can’t believe he is doing this to me again! Are you sleeping with him?” she asks a little too calmly for a woman who just found out her husband is seeing someone else. Jeez, he really must do this a lot for her to be taking it so well. I’m more of mess than she is right now.
“Um…” I drone out, trying to buy myself some time to figure out how to answer this question. I don’t know this woman, and I surely don’t want to explain to her that, yes, I’ve been naked with her husband but haven’t actually had sex with him.
Crap! Brett is someone’s husband! I’m assuming she would consider what Brett and I did on Monday night to be cheating, so I decide to just give her the abridged version, sparing us both the pain of the details.
“Yes, but just once. It was on Monday night. He took me out to Langley’s. Then we went back to his place… Oh God, did I do it in your bed?” I ask, and I swear I hear a muffled laugh. I can’t imagine what she could find humorous in this situation. But before I have a chance to wonder about her strange reaction, she responds.
“No. He has a place he stays in Chicago when he has to work late. The kids and I live about thirty miles outside the city. It’s hard for him to commute sometimes. Gosh, I thought that apartment was such a good idea when he suggested it, but now it seems like he takes every woman he meets there! I just assumed he was working late. I’m such a silly woman.” She sniffles into the phone.
“You…you have kids?” I cry harder, imagining beautiful green-eyed babies who look just like their father.
“Yes. Two girls. They are the ones hurt most by his…extracurricular activities. They miss him so much when he stays in the city.”
My heart breaks for those innocent children. I can’t believe he would do this. He seems so genuine and sincere, yet he’s out cheating on his wife every opportunity he gets. Great, he’s cheating on his wife and children with me! As I dry my eyes, I decide I no longer want to be a victim here. She needs to know the man she is married to so she can finally get free of his lies.
“He told me you were dead,” I tell her quickly and quietly before I lose my nerve.
“Oh, no, sweetheart. I am very much alive.” She begins to loudly laugh into the phone. It confuses the heck out of me because she doesn’t even attempt to cover it this time.
For the life of me, I can’t figure out what could be funny right now. Whatever. I guess we all react differently in stressful situations. I just need to fill her in so I get off this phone and forget all about this conversation and Brett “Cheating” Sharp.
“He said he lost you in a car accident.” I pause as something dawns on me. “Crap, did he lie about Caleb’s fiancée too?” I hear a loud bump then nothing but cold silence. “Hello? Are you still there?”
“I’m…here,” she says, and for the first time since I answered my phone, I hear real tears in her voice. It’s all probably sinking in for her now. Maybe her shock has worn off. Mine certainly hasn’t though. I listen to her sniffle for a second, knowing that, in a way, I am responsible for this.
“God, I’m sorry. I had no idea he was married. You should probably know he doesn’t wear a wedding ring either.”
“Yeah, um… I should go,” she answers as I hear a knock at her door over the phone. “Hold on just one second, Jesse.”
I can hear her go to the door. Her voice clears up as she completely transforms from the sad woman she was only few seconds ago.
“Oh, no problem, sweetheart. I was just chatting with Jesse.”
“Sarah, what the fuck!” Brett’s voice roars over the line.
“She needed to know.”
“Really? What did she need to know?”
“That you’re my husband.”
“Jesse, hang up the phone!” I hear him shout over the phone as they exchange a few muffled words.
“You are such a dick, Brett! Is that any way to talk to the love of your life?”
And that is all I need to hear in order to close this screwed-up cha
I turn off my phone, fall into bed, and cry over a man who doesn’t deserve my tears. I try to forget, but I can’t take my mind off of him. I think back over the time we have spent together, racking my brain for all the signs I should have seen. I wonder what he told his wife while we were together. Would he sneak away from his family to call me every night? How long would he have strung me along before getting bored and moving on?
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I’m awakened by an angry knock at my door. Half asleep and forgetting the craziness from earlier, I wander down the hall to see who is causing such a racket at…jeez. It’s only nine p.m. I must have crashed out. I peek out to see Brett standing outside. Lord, he’s sexy even with his face contorted through the oval glass of the peephole. Suddenly, everything about the last few hours comes back into focus, causing me to slide down the door just to keep myself from opening it.
“Jesse, open the door,” he says quietly. I have no idea how he knows I’m here, but the fact that he doesn’t shout at the closed door lets me know that he does. “I can see where you’re blocking the light at the bottom of the door. It wasn’t there a minute ago.” He answers my unspoken question.
Knowing I’ve been caught, I quickly flip off the hall light, sending the room into darkness.
“And now I know I was right because you just turned off the light completely. I’m a detective, remember?”
I drop my head back against the door, causing a loud thump. Wonderful, now I’ve confirmed his suspicions.
“Please, gorgeous. I have no idea what Sarah said to you, but let’s talk about it.”
“Go away.” The sharp pain in my chest is too much.
“That’s not going to happen. Let me in.”
“I can’t… I want you to leave me alone. Go back to your wife and kids. It’s not right for you to be here.” I begin to choke back the tears all over again. This is just ridiculous. I can’t believe he even has the audacity to stand outside my door after his wife called me. “Go home!”