Back To The Start Box Set: Five Full-Length Novels by Aly Martinez
I blush a little, remembering all the things we did last night.
Brett was a maniac. After he made love to me on the floor in the den, we did it again on the couch and in the shower, and we finished off the night in my bed with his head buried between my legs. There isn’t a single muscle in my body that isn’t sore this morning, but watching Brett get dressed causes an ache somewhere completely different.
“I’ll call you if anything changes, okay?” he says, pressing a deep, closed-mouth kiss to my lips that leaves me lightheaded.
Everything was magical last night. Brett told me he loved me then showed me he loved me. I wasn’t nervous about how things would be this morning. I knew he meant it last night. But then again, I also knew he loved me months ago. He told me once a while back that, when he finally said it, he would mean it with his entire soul. After last night, I have no doubt that he does.
I’m still not comfortable with the whole Sarah situation. We have a long road ahead of us as we try to figure out a solution that will work for everyone, including Sarah. Brett promised me in the shower that he was hiring an attorney this morning to help push the divorce forward. I’m glad he brought it up, because even though I feel confident in our relationship now, I don’t think I will ever be truly comfortable until the divorce is final. He also promised to tell me if, and when, he goes to see her. No more avoiding the topic.
“Okay. I’ll see you this afternoon,” I reply, but Brett stands, staring at me expectantly. “What?” I ask when he doesn’t leave.
“You don’t have anything else to say to me?”
“I don’t know. Do you have anything else to say to me?” I toss a little attitude his way, making him laugh.
“You’re going to make me pay for making you wait, aren’t you?”
“Pretty much.” I smile, and he shakes his head.
“Fine. I’ll make up for two months’ worth of I love yous, but then we are even.”
“Deal.”
“One more kiss, and I really need to go.” He leans over, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I”—he kisses my lips—“love”—he moves to my neck—“you.” He finishes with a nip on my ear.
“I love you too,” I whisper as his hot breath sends chills down my body.
“Go back to sleep, Jess. I want you well rested tonight!” he shouts over his shoulder, closing my door behind him.
I’m exhausted. I really should go back to sleep, but it’s a lost cause. I have plans today, but first I need to tidy up the mess Brett and I made last night. Things got a little intense up against the wall. A few of the picture frames fell, and I heard at least one of them break. Kara should be home soon, and the last thing I want to do is answer a million inappropriate questions from her. I also want to hit the mall to buy Brett a little surprise for tonight. I sling back the blankets and get ready for the day.
* * *
AROUND NOON, I hear a knock at the door. I pull back the curtain to see a man holding the biggest bouquet of white daisies I have ever seen. I yank open the door and all but snatch them from the delivery man.
Gorgeous,
I figured these would be a good first step. I’ve never even bought you flowers. I’m sorry for that too.
Last night was amazing. Thank you for waiting.
I love you.
Brett
P.S. Why are you awake and cleaning? I told you to get some sleep.
Even though I know he’s busy at work, I immediately dial his number.
“Detective Sharp,” he answers.
“Well, hello, officer.”
“Hey, babe. What’s up?”
“They’re beautiful. Seriously, Brett, I love them.”
“Really? I was sure you were calling to give me hell about buying you something.”
“No, you’re allowed to buy me flowers any time you want. I’ll just pretend you handpicked them from your garden.”
“My garden, huh? Babe, you can pretend anything you would like. Whatever it takes.”
“Thank you.”
“You are very welcome. Now answer my question. Why are you awake? We had a late night, and it’s your day off.”
“How did you know I was cleaning? Do you have cameras in my house?”
“Just the one over your bed,” he answers nonchalantly.
“What!” I scream into the phone.
“Jesus, I’m only kidding. No cameras. I just saw the mess this morning but didn’t have time to clean it up. I knew you wouldn’t be able to let it sit.”
“Oh, well, okay then.”
“Listen, I need to go. My phone is blowing up with blinking lights.”
“I love you, Brett.”
“I love you too. If flowers were all it took to get that out of you, I really might have to invest in a garden.”
I giggle at his silly joke. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“You couldn’t keep me away. Bye, babe.”
“Bye.” I hang up the phone, knowing nothing would be able to erase this smile from my face.
Three hours Later…
“WHY ARE you doing this?” I whisper with my knees pulled tight against my chest as tears stream down my face.
“Because I have to. Because it’s been four fucking years, and I can’t live like this anymore.”
“I’m sorry all of this happened, but you don’t have to live like that anymore. Things can change.” My words are meant to be encouraging, but I know they fall flat.
“Please stop crying.”
“Why? So you don’t have to feel anything? If you’re really going to do this, you should feel it.”
“No, because I can’t watch anyone else cry over the shit-fest that is my life.”
“I’m not crying for you. What happened to you is sad, but it didn’t ruin your life. Altered, yes. But not ruined. So no, I’m not crying for you. I’m crying because this whole situation is so unfair. There isn’t a single winner.”
“That’s not true, Jesse. You and Brett won. You found each other.”
“That’s not fair.”
“It never is.”
Brett
“I’M SORRY, Mrs. Kaplan. My hands are tied. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something.”
My day has been shit, and if last night hadn’t ended with Jesse in my arms, I’m not sure I could handle this. I’ve been slammed with cases all day. Nothing useful. It’s been one dead end after another. I feel like I’ve been banging my head against the wall for the last six hours. My phone rings yet again, breaking though my frustrations.
“Detective Sharp.”
“Detective, this is Sandy with emergency dispatch. We have a 911 caller who is claiming someone broke into her home and she is asking to speak with you. We have units on the way already, but she is insisting to speak with you.”
“Did she give her name?”
“Kara Reed.”
My heart stops beating and the room begins to spin.
“Put her through!”
“Brett?” I hear Kara on the other end of the line. Her voice is frantic and scared, unlike anything I have ever heard from her before.
“Kara, what the hell is going on?” I jump to my feet, grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair, and head toward my car.
“Where’s Jesse?” she asks.
“Cleaning, last I heard. What’s going on? Did you say someone is in the apartment?”
She begins to sob into the phone. “She’s in the house. She has a gun and I think she has Jesse.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about, but the fact that she used Jesse and gun in the same sentence has me sprinting the rest of the way to my car.
“Who, Kara? Calm down. Tell me what’s going on!” I scream into the phone, anything but calm myself.
“Sarah. I got home a few minutes ago and she snatched open the door and waved a gun in my face. She threatened me, but I took off running. You don’t think she would hurt Jesse, do you?”
Oh God. This isn’t happenin
“Kara, you still there?” I realize I’m still holding my phone to my ear.
“Please answer me. Sarah wouldn’t hurt her, right?” The fear in her voice matches the pain in my chest.
I have no idea what Sarah is capable of anymore. She might as well be a stranger to me. I know she isn’t afraid to kill herself, but now I’m terrified that she isn’t afraid to take Jesse with her either.
“I’m on my way. Do not go back to the door. Are the officers there yet?”
“Yes, they just pulled up. Shit, Brett. Jesse’s car is here. I think she’s in there.”
“Go to the officers, tell them everything, and make sure to tell them Jesse’s mine. They’ll take care of her if you tell them that. I’ll be there in about ten minutes.” I flip my phone onto the passenger’s seat and slam my hand down on the steering wheel, cussing Chicago traffic. Even with my lights on, I’m still a lifetime away.
Officer Eli Tanner
“HELP!” I hear the small woman yell as she runs my way.
I immediately reach down to my service weapon. She doesn’t look dangerous or armed, but she does look scared as hell.
“Freeze! Put your hands in the air!” I yell as she comes to a complete halt.
“Please help me. There is a woman with a gun in my apartment. She has my best friend in there with her.”
“Keep your hands in the air and slowly walk towards me.”
She complies, and when she gets close, I see the tears dripping off her chin.
“Please. Help her.”
“What’s your name?”
“Kara Reed.”
“Do you know who broke in, Kara?” I question while patting her down.
“Sarah Sharp.”
Fuck. I’d recognize that name anywhere. It was the name that changed my life all those years ago. “Excuse me?”
“Sarah Sharp, and she has Jesse Addison, Detective Brett Sharp’s girlfriend in there with her.”
Son of a bitch! How can one woman fuck up so many lives? “Stay here.” I leave her standing next to my patrol car as I head to the door, praying this is some sort of a mistake. My day has been boring as hell, but I’d give anything to be able to dismiss this as one big catfight over a man. I draw my weapon and slide up beside the door. Careful to move out of shooting range in case she really does have a gun of her own, I test the doorknob and find it locked.
“Sarah Sharp!” I shout, using my boot to knock on the door. “Officer Tanner, CPD. Open up. If you have any weapons, I suggest you put them down first.”
“Fuck you, Eli! Where’s Brett?” she screams from the other side of the door. Obviously, she remembers me too.
“I have no idea where Brett is. Are you alone in there? Where’s Jesse?”
“She’s not a part of this problem anymore.”
Damn it! That’s the wrong fucking answer. “Sarah, I’m coming in. Back away from the door.” I radio for backup as my partner rounds the corner to watch my six
Before I reach the door, I hear the unmistakable bang of a shot fired. I should back away and follow protocol, but I know this woman. I rush to the door, banging and praying for a miracle.
“Sarah, open the fucking door!”
“Find Brett or I swear it won’t just shatter a few picture frames next time.”
“I need to talk to Jesse. I need to know she’s okay.”
“Um, she isn’t exactly speaking to me right now,” she laughs.
“Is she okay? Does she need any medical care? You have to give me something here. I can’t just call Sharp out here without any details.”
“Tell him I need him. He’ll come running. He loves to play the hero.”
Brett
I DRIVE like a maniac the whole way to Jesse’s apartment. I keep flipping between pissed off and terrified that Sarah is going to hurt Jesse. I’ve never in my life wanted to hurt Sarah, even when she physically abused me after the accident. It never crossed my mind. But today, if she so much as lays one finger on Jesse, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.
I thought Sarah had gone crazy when she showed up at the coffee shop. And I definitely thought she’d gone too far when she slapped Jesse in the grocery store. But this… This is worse than I ever could have imagined. Today, it ends. I’m getting Jesse back even if Sarah gets hurt in the process. I want her locked up somewhere where she can’t hurt anyone, including herself, ever again.
“Nine one one, what is your emergency?”
“This is Detective Brett Sharp, badge number 712. I need to be patched through to the officers on the scene at 12 Daven Court.”
“Please hold, Detective.”
A few clicks of the line later, I hear, “Officer Tanner.”
Oh, thank Christ. Eli’s there. He knows what he’s doing. I’ve worked closely with him for years. Best of all, he’s familiar with Sarah.
“Eli, it’s Sharp. What the fuck is going on? I’m about three minutes out.”
“Brett, do not show up here. Sarah is asking for you. I think she’s waiting for you to get here before she does something stupid. Do not give her that. Stay the fuck away from here.”
“Have you lost your fucking mind? I’m on my way!” I boom into the phone. “Tell me what the hell is going on? Have you gotten Jesse out of there yet?”
“No, and Sarah won’t let us talk to her. She’s locked up in the apartment and won’t let anyone inside. She just keeps asking for you. Shots were fired a few minutes ago. Sharp, I’ll be honest here. It doesn’t sound good. She keeps making comments about Jesse not being an issue anymore. I really think you need to let us handle this.”
I feel like someone took a sledgehammer to my stomach. The wind is knocked out of me completely. The car swerves to the side and I overcorrect, barely missing oncoming traffic. I’m overwhelmed with crippling panic. I can’t go through this again. I’ll kill her. I can honestly say that. If I have to choose, I will definitely pick Jesse over Sarah. Losing Sarah almost destroyed me, but if I lose Jesse, I won’t be able to survive.
“You still there, Sharp?”
I swallow past the knot in my throat. “Call Jones. I have no idea why, but she listens to him. He can talk her down. I’ll be there soon. I’ll stay out of sight if you really think she’s waiting for me.”
“Jones isn’t answering. Shaun is headed to his house now. Park around back. I don’t want her to have any idea you even know this is happening.”
I drop the phone and send up one last pleading prayer.
Jesse
“HOW LONG did it take you to realize you were in love with Brett?”
“Ten minutes,” I answer honestly. This conversation has been going in circles for hours. The ground is too hard and my butt is killing me from sitting for so long, but I don’t dare get up.
“That’s bullshit. You can’t know in ten minutes that you love someone.”
“Yes, you can. How long did it take you to fall in love?”
“A week.”
I nod at the admission. Ten minutes or a week, it’s all the same thing. We aren’t talking months or years. We are talking about recognizing that you would share an eternity with a person within minutes or hours of meeting them. I felt that with Brett. I was too afraid to see it at first, but it was always there. That first day he walked into the coffee shop, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. Convincing Brett was the hard part. I laugh to myself and wipe a lingering tear from my cheek.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” I answer shortly, not wanting to share the details that caused the unlikely smile to creep across my face.
“I’d die to feel like that again. To smile like that and actually feel somet
“You could find it again someday. You could find someone who reminds you what it feels like to be truly alive. Someone who will give you meaning and hope again.”
“I don’t want to find someone else. I just want to feel it again.”
I drop my head to my knees. I want to say the right words, but I can’t seem to find any.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I know, Jesse. You’ve said it a million times. Stop fucking apologizing.”
I flinch at the outburst. So much for talking.
Brett
I PULL up, throwing the car into park and darting toward the line of uniformed officers huddled at the side of Jesse’s apartment. All eyes rise to mine, and the looks of sympathy on their faces do nothing to put out the fire that is currently blazing in my veins.
“Talk to me,” I snap at Eli.
“Nothing has happened since we got off the phone. No more shots, but also no sign of Jesse. Sarah isn’t talking anymore, but we can still see her pacing through the window next to the door.”
“Okay, you’re going to have to let me talk to her.”
“No way. If we give you to her now, we have nothing to use as leverage later when she gets tired of playing games. You know the way this works. We just need to wait her out for a little while.”
“I’m well aware of the way this fucking works. I’m also well aware that my woman could be in there bleeding to death.”
“Sharp, Sarah’s fine. She—” one of the peanut gallery butts in.
“I don’t give a fuck about Sarah, asshole. Jesse’s in there!” I roar.
Eli steps up into my line of sight, blocking out the rest of guys. “Just calm down, Sharp. We’re clearing some of the tenants out of connecting apartments and informing everyone else to stay inside. Once we get that done, I’ll go reevaluate how Sarah’s doing. See if I can get her talking again, maybe get some info about Jesse.”