Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer by Demelza Carlton
shaking as she watched the bouncer drag a bruised and bleeding Matt out of the night club. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I asked urgently.
"He barely touched me," she whimpered, almost ready to cry.
"Look mate, it's the girl's birthday and if you don't want what he got, I think you should leave her alone." The guy from the next table who'd thrown the first punch had sat down again and his warning was directed at me.
I needed to leave. She was safe here, but I wasn't. I could feel her sagging against me – she couldn't stand up much longer. If she didn't sit back down, she'd need my help even more than she did now. Caitlin murmured something I couldn't hear. I leaned closer to her and asked her to repeat it. She tilted her head up, so her lips were close to my ear. "Don't leave me. You promised."
My heart froze in my chest. All my previously solid thoughts of leaving her alone again, even for a moment, sublimated to join the dry-ice haze wafting around the dance floor of the club. I closed my eyes for the briefest moment, struggling to breathe. You promised. You owe her, you bastard.
"Last warning, mate," our friendly neighbour told me ominously. From the looks on the surrounding faces, they all agreed with him and they'd probably back him up, too.
I couldn't take them all on. And I couldn't leave her alone.
"Do you want to stay here or go home?" I asked her urgently.
"I want to get out of here!" I could feel her panic.
"Let go of the girl." Friendly Neighbour stood, both hands clenched on the backrest of his barstool.
"Wrap your arms around my neck, give me a big, sloppy kiss, smile and act drunk. I won't let you fall and I'll get you out of here," I told Caitlin, letting go of her and throwing my hands up in surrender. She stumbled, as I knew she would, but she came up smiling.
"I love you, Nathan," Caitlin slurred, throwing her arms around my neck.
I stared at her in shock for saying words I never thought I'd hear, even though I knew she didn't mean them. It took me a minute to realise how much weight she had hanging on my neck, I was so euphoric. I reached out as if all I wanted to do was steady her, but really trying to stop her from breaking my neck. She kissed me clumsily, as if she didn't know how, and looked up at me with a blissful smile on her face before her knees buckled.
I had most of her weight anyway. It wasn't an issue to lift her off her feet and into my arms, commenting about how she'd had enough to drink for one night. Her smile remained pasted on her face as she looked up at me.
Smiles, claps and a few bawdy cheers followed us as I carried Caitlin out of the club. I could see Marcus shaking his head in disbelief as we passed. I shrugged, smiled and shouldered my way through to the cool darkness outside.
I tried to set her on her feet again when we reached the street, but her arms were still around my neck, so she swung around to face me. She was still smiling, looking up at me, but it was too dark for me to tell how this was different. She stretched up to kiss me again, hesitant at first and then... more like... last night. And I knew she wasn't drunk.
"Thank you," Caitlin said slowly as she pulled away from me.
Like some lovesick teenager who'd just slurped his first kiss, I wanted to savour the citrus taste of her tongue in my mouth. My adrenaline levels were higher now than they'd been at the thought of a fight in the club. I tried to calm down enough to sound sane. "Come on, I'll take you home now, if you like."
"Your place. You promised your place," she insisted. "And I'd like to stop at a bottle shop on the way. You said you'd get me another drink."
81
"You could have cleaned up after your little drinking party last night," Chris said as she walked into the kitchen, an empty bottle in each hand. She clinked them into the recycling bin. "Well, you're certainly back. Back in action, too, if last night was anything to go by." She smothered a smirk with her hand. "I heard you two come in, but I didn't hear her go. So, what time did she leave last night?"
I looked at her, bleary-eyed and yawning, as the watery sunlight trickling through the kitchen window turned her fair hair into a halo Chris didn't deserve. "She didn't."
"You let her sleep in your bed? What happened while you were away to make you so considerate?"
Irritated, I responded, "She's tired and she had a bit to drink last night. She needs some sleep before I take her home." Caitlin had smiled in her sleep as I'd tucked the quilt around her. My mouth had gone dry and I couldn't bring myself to wake her yet. So beautiful...
Chris whistled. "She gets to sleep in your bed and she gets driven home! When did you become such a perfect gentleman?"
I tried to concentrate on making myself a coffee, in between thoughts of Caitlin. I didn't want or need to listen to Chris.
"You're not having breakfast? Or have you already eaten?"
"Can't you leave it, for even a second?" I didn't want to get into an argument – I wanted to have Caitlin's breakfast ready before she was awake. "What can I make her for breakfast? Do we have anything besides," I glared at the box, "cornflakes?"
"Breakfast, too? Was she that good?" Chris pressed.
Now I was pissed off. "Leave her alone! Just lay off her, okay?"
She let up. "All right." She paused long enough for me to take a sip of my coffee. "At least it's good to know you're not a paedophile."
"What?" I nearly choked.
"Well, you've finally left that poor kid alone. The one in hospital. How old was she – twelve, thirteen? It's about time you got over your crush on her."
"I didn't have a crush on her! She wanted me to be there!"
"Come on, the last thing she needed was to have you at her bedside, mooning over her."
"There are plenty of girls who'd love to have me sit by their bedside when they're in hospital!"
Chris took a deep breath. "Like the one in your bed right now? Maybe, but not a girl who's been abducted. After she's been raped and God knows what else, the last thing she wants is a man anywhere near her. Least of all you." She grabbed the cornflake box and turned around to put it away. She reached for the sponge and started wiping down the bench, refusing to meet my eyes.
"Nathan?" Caitlin was hesitant.
I saw Chris turn around at the sound of her voice, but I had eyes only for Caitlin. "Good morning, angel," I greeted her with a smile.
I couldn't take my eyes off her. Behind me, I knew Chris was staring, too.
One arm was wound around the door frame and the wall beyond, supporting her. Caitlin wore one of my jumpers, which reached almost to her knees, making her look like the child Chris had called her. The depths of her eyes told another story, though – one that wasn't suitable for children.
I took a step toward her, drawn closer by the irresistible black-hole hint in her eyes.
She gave a sheepish smile. Or perhaps it was rueful. "I can't seem to be able to turn the taps on in the shower." She held up her hand and her fingers looked red.
"I'll be right there." I jumped up, as if my chair was an ejector seat, and coffee splashed over my hand. I almost dropped the cup, but made it to the table in time. Shaking the coffee off my burnt fingers, I added, "Just as soon as I finish my coffee."
"Thank you!" Her eyes lingered a moment before she left.
Chris barely waited a few seconds for her to get out of earshot before she spoke. "You didn't!"
She was right and I hadn't. I'd come damn close, though, and I wasn't telling her that, either. Caitlin... oh my God, Caitlin... it was worth every sleepless, screaming night just for last night. And there'd be more.
I responded with only a smile. One that said there's chocolate for dinner and nothing else.
"You're a bloody cradle-snatcher! And don't get any ideas – you aren't and you'll never be Prince Charming!" she shouted at me.
I tipped the rest of my coffee down the sink, then stalked to the door. "Just leave her alone!"
"You should take your own advice," she said with venom. "Go on, go help her – she probably can't ev
en reach the taps!"
Bloody Chris – didn't know when to keep her mouth shut. After a night like last night, the last thing I wanted to do was argue – couldn't she see that? To stop myself from shouting back in kind, I left.
Just outside the door, I almost stepped on Caitlin, sitting on the floor. She didn't say anything. She just looked up at me with big, sad eyes and I held out my hands to help her to her feet.
I walked her to the bathroom, where she sat on the edge of the bath to watch me. I closed the door, then turned the taps on for her.
She came up behind me, her hands sliding under my shirt. "Why don't you set her straight? You could just tell her how old I am – it's hardly a secret."
"I know." My voice was muffled as she pulled my shirt over my head.
"Then why did you let her say what she did without defending yourself?"
"She likes to argue. That's why she wants to do law." I shrugged. "I don't want to argue with her. It would end in me telling her things she doesn't need to know – about you and about me." I closed my eyes, trying to squeeze my mental images out of existence.
Caitlin had taken her – my – jumper off, and the touch of her bare skin against my back was more than a little distracting.
"Would you like me to help you in the shower?" I couldn't resist saying.
"That would be lovely, Nathan." She sounded like she was smiling.
82
I offered to make her breakfast, but Caitlin said she wasn't all that hungry. She kept quiet as I helped her dress in some new clothes she'd bought yesterday, so we could both hear Chris crashing
"He barely touched me," she whimpered, almost ready to cry.
"Look mate, it's the girl's birthday and if you don't want what he got, I think you should leave her alone." The guy from the next table who'd thrown the first punch had sat down again and his warning was directed at me.
I needed to leave. She was safe here, but I wasn't. I could feel her sagging against me – she couldn't stand up much longer. If she didn't sit back down, she'd need my help even more than she did now. Caitlin murmured something I couldn't hear. I leaned closer to her and asked her to repeat it. She tilted her head up, so her lips were close to my ear. "Don't leave me. You promised."
My heart froze in my chest. All my previously solid thoughts of leaving her alone again, even for a moment, sublimated to join the dry-ice haze wafting around the dance floor of the club. I closed my eyes for the briefest moment, struggling to breathe. You promised. You owe her, you bastard.
"Last warning, mate," our friendly neighbour told me ominously. From the looks on the surrounding faces, they all agreed with him and they'd probably back him up, too.
I couldn't take them all on. And I couldn't leave her alone.
"Do you want to stay here or go home?" I asked her urgently.
"I want to get out of here!" I could feel her panic.
"Let go of the girl." Friendly Neighbour stood, both hands clenched on the backrest of his barstool.
"Wrap your arms around my neck, give me a big, sloppy kiss, smile and act drunk. I won't let you fall and I'll get you out of here," I told Caitlin, letting go of her and throwing my hands up in surrender. She stumbled, as I knew she would, but she came up smiling.
"I love you, Nathan," Caitlin slurred, throwing her arms around my neck.
I stared at her in shock for saying words I never thought I'd hear, even though I knew she didn't mean them. It took me a minute to realise how much weight she had hanging on my neck, I was so euphoric. I reached out as if all I wanted to do was steady her, but really trying to stop her from breaking my neck. She kissed me clumsily, as if she didn't know how, and looked up at me with a blissful smile on her face before her knees buckled.
I had most of her weight anyway. It wasn't an issue to lift her off her feet and into my arms, commenting about how she'd had enough to drink for one night. Her smile remained pasted on her face as she looked up at me.
Smiles, claps and a few bawdy cheers followed us as I carried Caitlin out of the club. I could see Marcus shaking his head in disbelief as we passed. I shrugged, smiled and shouldered my way through to the cool darkness outside.
I tried to set her on her feet again when we reached the street, but her arms were still around my neck, so she swung around to face me. She was still smiling, looking up at me, but it was too dark for me to tell how this was different. She stretched up to kiss me again, hesitant at first and then... more like... last night. And I knew she wasn't drunk.
"Thank you," Caitlin said slowly as she pulled away from me.
Like some lovesick teenager who'd just slurped his first kiss, I wanted to savour the citrus taste of her tongue in my mouth. My adrenaline levels were higher now than they'd been at the thought of a fight in the club. I tried to calm down enough to sound sane. "Come on, I'll take you home now, if you like."
"Your place. You promised your place," she insisted. "And I'd like to stop at a bottle shop on the way. You said you'd get me another drink."
81
"You could have cleaned up after your little drinking party last night," Chris said as she walked into the kitchen, an empty bottle in each hand. She clinked them into the recycling bin. "Well, you're certainly back. Back in action, too, if last night was anything to go by." She smothered a smirk with her hand. "I heard you two come in, but I didn't hear her go. So, what time did she leave last night?"
I looked at her, bleary-eyed and yawning, as the watery sunlight trickling through the kitchen window turned her fair hair into a halo Chris didn't deserve. "She didn't."
"You let her sleep in your bed? What happened while you were away to make you so considerate?"
Irritated, I responded, "She's tired and she had a bit to drink last night. She needs some sleep before I take her home." Caitlin had smiled in her sleep as I'd tucked the quilt around her. My mouth had gone dry and I couldn't bring myself to wake her yet. So beautiful...
Chris whistled. "She gets to sleep in your bed and she gets driven home! When did you become such a perfect gentleman?"
I tried to concentrate on making myself a coffee, in between thoughts of Caitlin. I didn't want or need to listen to Chris.
"You're not having breakfast? Or have you already eaten?"
"Can't you leave it, for even a second?" I didn't want to get into an argument – I wanted to have Caitlin's breakfast ready before she was awake. "What can I make her for breakfast? Do we have anything besides," I glared at the box, "cornflakes?"
"Breakfast, too? Was she that good?" Chris pressed.
Now I was pissed off. "Leave her alone! Just lay off her, okay?"
She let up. "All right." She paused long enough for me to take a sip of my coffee. "At least it's good to know you're not a paedophile."
"What?" I nearly choked.
"Well, you've finally left that poor kid alone. The one in hospital. How old was she – twelve, thirteen? It's about time you got over your crush on her."
"I didn't have a crush on her! She wanted me to be there!"
"Come on, the last thing she needed was to have you at her bedside, mooning over her."
"There are plenty of girls who'd love to have me sit by their bedside when they're in hospital!"
Chris took a deep breath. "Like the one in your bed right now? Maybe, but not a girl who's been abducted. After she's been raped and God knows what else, the last thing she wants is a man anywhere near her. Least of all you." She grabbed the cornflake box and turned around to put it away. She reached for the sponge and started wiping down the bench, refusing to meet my eyes.
"Nathan?" Caitlin was hesitant.
I saw Chris turn around at the sound of her voice, but I had eyes only for Caitlin. "Good morning, angel," I greeted her with a smile.
I couldn't take my eyes off her. Behind me, I knew Chris was staring, too.
One arm was wound around the door frame and the wall beyond, supporting her. Caitlin wore one of my jumpers, which reached almost to her knees, making her look like the child Chris had called her. The depths of her eyes told another story, though – one that wasn't suitable for children.
I took a step toward her, drawn closer by the irresistible black-hole hint in her eyes.
She gave a sheepish smile. Or perhaps it was rueful. "I can't seem to be able to turn the taps on in the shower." She held up her hand and her fingers looked red.
"I'll be right there." I jumped up, as if my chair was an ejector seat, and coffee splashed over my hand. I almost dropped the cup, but made it to the table in time. Shaking the coffee off my burnt fingers, I added, "Just as soon as I finish my coffee."
"Thank you!" Her eyes lingered a moment before she left.
Chris barely waited a few seconds for her to get out of earshot before she spoke. "You didn't!"
She was right and I hadn't. I'd come damn close, though, and I wasn't telling her that, either. Caitlin... oh my God, Caitlin... it was worth every sleepless, screaming night just for last night. And there'd be more.
I responded with only a smile. One that said there's chocolate for dinner and nothing else.
"You're a bloody cradle-snatcher! And don't get any ideas – you aren't and you'll never be Prince Charming!" she shouted at me.
I tipped the rest of my coffee down the sink, then stalked to the door. "Just leave her alone!"
"You should take your own advice," she said with venom. "Go on, go help her – she probably can't ev
Bloody Chris – didn't know when to keep her mouth shut. After a night like last night, the last thing I wanted to do was argue – couldn't she see that? To stop myself from shouting back in kind, I left.
Just outside the door, I almost stepped on Caitlin, sitting on the floor. She didn't say anything. She just looked up at me with big, sad eyes and I held out my hands to help her to her feet.
I walked her to the bathroom, where she sat on the edge of the bath to watch me. I closed the door, then turned the taps on for her.
She came up behind me, her hands sliding under my shirt. "Why don't you set her straight? You could just tell her how old I am – it's hardly a secret."
"I know." My voice was muffled as she pulled my shirt over my head.
"Then why did you let her say what she did without defending yourself?"
"She likes to argue. That's why she wants to do law." I shrugged. "I don't want to argue with her. It would end in me telling her things she doesn't need to know – about you and about me." I closed my eyes, trying to squeeze my mental images out of existence.
Caitlin had taken her – my – jumper off, and the touch of her bare skin against my back was more than a little distracting.
"Would you like me to help you in the shower?" I couldn't resist saying.
"That would be lovely, Nathan." She sounded like she was smiling.
82
I offered to make her breakfast, but Caitlin said she wasn't all that hungry. She kept quiet as I helped her dress in some new clothes she'd bought yesterday, so we could both hear Chris crashing