Balloon Boy and the Porcupine Pals: Antihooliganism by Mort Gloss

  ****

  The voyagers spent the next hour re-inspecting the single-wide, checking to ensure the stocks of food and water were firmly placed, and otherwise making final preparations for the voyage. Victory maintained her spot on the couch, sprawled out so that nobody would or could sit down next to her. Finally, they were ready to leave.

  "Alright, Balloon, is that everything?" asked Russ as the three stood outside the front door of the trailer.

  By the tone in Russ' voice, Balloon understood that he was to guess whether they were ready to depart. Balloon screwed up his face, asked himself the question, and spit out the response: "we gots everthangs we need."

  "Alright then, let's do this!" yelled Tom, a mix of fear and excitement in his voice.

  Suddenly, Balloon became emotional. "I ain't never been outside Texas ma whole life. I only been outside Midland couple times is all. I's gonna miss her, boys."

  "Let me tell you something, Balloon," said Tom. "West Texas is probably the worst place on earth. If you can learn to love it here, I guarantee you'll like whatever we find out there."

  "Agreed," added Russ. "And don't worry, Balloon. Texas will be right here when we get back."

  Balloon smiled. "Y'all boys is right. But I's still gonna miss Taco Villa."

  "Taco Villa's not going anywhere either," said Russ. "Think of it this way: you get us all back here safe, the first thing we'll do is all go out for tacos."

  "We might even take Victory," added Tom, "if we haven't killed her by then."

  Tom and Russ walked up the steps and into the trailer. Balloon, lingering behind, looked out over the flat landscape, watching the pump-jacks slowly move up and down.